10. Milk Tray Man
TEN
Milk Tray Man
Thursday, 14 March, 11.30pm
Had a match notification on Ladybird. He’s handsome in a Milk Tray Man kind of a way. He says he’s active, likes travel, and he’s looking for someone to spoil. Will check him out. Am I a terrible friend for thinking about dating?
Friday, 15 March, 11.30pm
Ordered some curtains for the Mayfair project. My curtain maker Tanya has set up her own company called Very Well Hung.
Saturday, 16 March, 11.30pm
Went for a lovely walk in Springfield Park. No penis sightings today.
Sunday, 17 March, 11.30pm
Had a drink with Milk Tray Man from Thursday, but he certainly wasn’t as smooth or sweet as I’d expected. I introduced myself and asked him his name (his username was Hello Girls, but I let that go). He sighed and just stared at me. The conversation, if you could call it that, went like this:
‘Sorry if I’ve forgotten but I don’t remember you telling me your name,’ I said.
‘Oh, I thought you knew.’
‘No, sorry I don’t.’
‘Are you sure?’ he asked.
Did he forget his name and wanted me to remind him?
‘I’m sure. I wouldn’t be asking you if I knew,’ I said. What was his problem? How many times did I have to say it? He shook his head.
‘I’m a doctor. Now do you know?’
‘An admirable profession, but what’s your name?’
Did he have an accident on the way and lose his short-term memory?
‘Yes but, do you “know” now?’ He winked at me.
WTF? Was I missing something?
‘Sorry, you’ve lost me,’ I said.
At that he shook his head, huffed and studied his drink. There was an awkward pause. I made conversation, but I could see he was distracted and not listening. Then after a while, he stopped me mid-sentence.
‘You really don’t know who I am?’ he asked.
For the love of God, how many times?
‘I’m Dr Love.’
I raised an eyebrow.
‘I’ve had enough of this,’ he said, pushed back his chair, picked up his mobile and walked off.
He’d had enough?
‘Tosser,’ I shouted after him.
I Googled him when I got home. It turns out he’s not Milk Tray Man but had been Mr Z List Celeb a few years ago when he played Doctor Quentin Love in a soap opera called Turmoil in Trevelyan. Where do they get these names? Obviously, his career has risen without a trace. How dare I not recognise him? Tosser indeed.
P.S. Texted Ajay to ask after Grace. He said she’s been having tests and seeing different doctors. It’s becoming real now, but she still hasn’t told the kids or the rest of her family.