Chapter 15
CHAPTER 15
Alfie Scott
I f he didn’t come home soon, I was gonna run out of cuticles.
The kids were happy with their new backpacks and lunch boxes; they’d been fed and entertained, and now I could pace the driveway like a madman and sneak a smoke here and there while Colby kept an eye on things inside the house.
I checked my phone again—and nada. I had a missed call from Dad, but I was gonna have to deal with that later. He probably wanted to know when I was coming over for dinner.
Since my frosty fallout with Mom, he’d become a passive peacemaker, texting me sporadically to get shit sorted and telling me that Mom was making something I liked.
For the record, I liked everything she cooked.
There was nothing I could do, though. I’d have to wait her out until she was ready to forgive and forget.
The front door opened, and Colby poked his head out on the low stoop. “Any word from West yet? I finished the book.”
“Nothin’ so far,” I replied, walking closer. “What book?”
If West gave you a book, it meant he cared. It was a thing. The book was always in reference to something.
Colby held it up, and I wasn’t surprised for shit to see the title. It was about Napoleon.
“I’m just curious,” I said. “Under what circumstances did he give that to you?”
Colby scratched his forehead and shrugged. “It was the other day. He warned Ellie not to carry all the pool toys at once ’cause she’d fall, and she didn’t listen. So I was gonna go help her, and he held me back and said something like, never interrupt your enemy when she’s making a mistake.”
I smiled and dropped my chin. That definitely sounded like him.
“He’s big on quotes sometimes,” I said.
“Yeah, I guess. I thought it was a cool saying, and then he handed me this and asked me to read it.”
Look at that. West was invested .
“You don’t think he’ll quiz me, do you?” Colby lifted his brows.
I chuckled. “Nah. He’ll just wanna have a conversation about it.”
“Aight. It wasn’t bad. But I want, like…a gold star or somethin’, so lemme know when he gets back.”
Oh, he wanted more than that. I could tell. West wasn’t the only one thoroughly enjoying the living arrangements. Colby was a cautious kid, and no wonder. He’d had no one to rely on. But he was slowly discovering that West was solid as a rock. And it was easy to get drawn to those people.
“You like it here.” I smiled.
He huffed a laugh. “You kiddin’ me? Have you seen my room? My TV? It’s luxury. And three meals a day—and he restocks the snacks in my cupboard when I’m wit’chu.”
My smile widened. Fuck me, West had to accept me somehow—or let me leave the syndicate. It was going to suck, but West was my world. I couldn’t live without him.
Unfortunately for West, Colby was already turning into an earner for the Sons. The kid was fucking brilliant with a computer, so Kellan and I had set him up with a workspace in the condo I worked from too. We spent hours there every day.
“You know he won’t give up on seeing you off to college,” I said.
Colby shrugged, which he did about two hundred times a day. “That’s a long way off. Right now, I just hope he’ll give me a heads-up before he wants me to get my own place.”
I shook my head. “Ain’t gonna happen. He’ll want you here. He gives a fuck.”
That made Colby a little uncomfortable, and I understood him. He wasn’t used to anyone acting like a parent.
Frankly, I wanted him here too. He was safe here, and he didn’t have to worry about where to sleep the next night, if he was going to be able to afford food, or if his fuckup brother would get them both killed.
“Is that him?” Colby pointed up the street that joined with West’s in a Y junction. “Everybody drives a Mercedes here.”
I squinted in the direction he was pointing at the same time as my phone rang again. Fuck yes, it was West’s car.
“Okay, check in on the kids and don’t look out the window,” I said. “Shit’s about to get sob-fest ugly or hella nasty.”
Colby groaned through a laugh and ducked back inside, and I stalked toward the driveway and hurriedly checked my phone. Not now, Dad . I’d call him later.
My heart started pounding as West rolled up the driveway, and he flashed me a soft smile before killing the engine and getting out.
“Hi,” I said. “Didju win?”
He chuckled through his nose and shut the door. “Of course I did.”
Yeah, of course. Golf was so fucking boring, but he was the hottest golfer on earth. I’d watched him on that driving range thing a few times.
My stomach tightened as he rounded the car. He wasn’t going for his golf bag first. That was usually his MO. Had to get the clubs into their storage in the garage. Not now. Hopefully, he had a more pressing matter to tend to.
I bit at the corner of my mouth. “So, um…should I run out for ice cream and tissues, or should I drop my pants?”
He shook his head in amusement and walked toward me. The only thing that troubled me was his pace. He didn’t radiate urgency or nothing. There wasn’t enough purpose in his steps, all while…it wasn’t like he walked slowly either.
Maybe I was overanalyzing.
Maybe I was nervous as fuck.
My nerves were shot, my breathing was a little too shallow, my heart was slamming in my chest, and I swore I could hear my own pulse. Fuck me, what if he couldn’t reconcile?—
He came closer and closer. “In the end, I had to ask myself if I was sufficiently fucked in the head.”
Um, okay?
Without another word, he grabbed my hand and tugged me to him—just a simple pull, before I went way too willingly into his arms. Tiny explosions set off within me as the warmth from his body enveloped my own, and he squeezed me so tightly that my eyes welled up from sheer hope. Desperate, desperate hope.
Did this mean?—
“I’m a shell of a man without you, Alfie,” he murmured against my temple. I almost choked on my next breath, and I locked my arms around his neck. “Consequences be damned, you have to be mine.”
Oh God.
I screwed my eyes shut and tightened my hold on him, and all I could do was offer a jerky nod in response as all the emotions rendered me speechless. I sniffled and smashed my lips together to prevent an embarrassing display of the crazies.
Mine, mine, mine, mine.
I was starting to feel the urgency from him. It was in his hug, how hard he embraced me, and a forceful sense of being unable to let go. He’d thought this through. He’d made up his mind. And it was the man I knew, the man who didn’t walk a single step until he was ready to go the distance, something I’d found comfort in a million times before.
Years of tension began rolling off me, and I basked in the strangest, most overwhelming exhaustion that swept over me. It was a peaceful feeling. Like, I just wanted us to nap together in each other’s arms. No ice cream needed, no filth—yet. Just…resting and holding on.
“I love you,” I croaked. “I can’t live without you.”
He cleared his throat and gave me another squeeze. “I love you too. I think we’ve proven we’re useless without each other.”
I shuddered and buried my face against his neck.
Whenever I thought we couldn’t hug each other harder, we stepped it up, one tight squeeze after the next. Slowly but surely applying superglue to every crack.
“I’m so fucking tired,” I whispered.
“God—me too.” He hummed and kissed the side of my head. “Do you think we can bribe Colby to watch the kids for an hour or two?”
“Oh, he’s hella bribable.”
He chuckled thickly and inched back enough so we could lock eyes.
He smiled and rested his forehead to mine. “I’ve missed you for too long.”
Goddammit. My eyes welled up all over again, and I couldn’t speak.
I couldn’t comprehend that this was happening either. Was it happening? Were we back together? Had Shan succeeded?
“What, um…” Fuck, I couldn’t stop sniffling. “What happens now—are we really back together? Any, um—c-conditions? Whatever it is, I’ll agree.”
His brow furrowed with sympathy, and he brushed his thumbs under my eyes. “Baby, I don’t want you to agree to just anything?—”
“Well, tough shit,” I croaked. “It’s gotta be us—so whatever it takes.”
He sniffled too, and he took a few seconds to think of his response. “I can only think of two conditions and one negotiation. Firstly, our children will not be put in harm’s way.”
“Of course not?—”
“Shh.” He legit pinched my lips together, and it was accompanied by a narrowed-eyed look and a smirk he was trying to hide. “Secondly, you do not change who you are—because that’s the only Alfie I will accept. The true you.”
I nodded dutifully, lips still pinched.
“In return, I won’t put you in a position where a change in your behavior is necessary,” he went on. “I’m not on good terms with my parents at the moment, and even though something is permanently and fundamentally broken between us, I’m sure there will be family dinners in the future I have to attend. But I’ll only be there if you join me—and we don’t leave each other’s side. And if they disrespect us in any way, they’ll hear from both of us.”
I nodded again, and it was becoming impossible to hold back a smile.
He released my lips and kissed me on the nose. “Lastly, the negotiation… We’ll come to an agreement on how honest you can be about what it is you do. I understand you won’t tell me everything?—”
“I’ll make sure you never have to worry because of the unknown.” I rushed out the words, needing them between us. I hated that I’d made him worry just because he didn’t know what was going on. “I promise to communicate openly about what I can share. Like, frequent updates and stuff when I’m out. We’ll come up with our own codes so you know everything’s good.”
His mouth twitched a little, as if he was withholding mirth. “Secret code. How scandalous.”
I grinned.
He liked that part, didn’t he? My big slum tourist. He wanted an ounce of the danger. He couldn’t help but be drawn to it—always within reason, but nevertheless. I was so gonna call him out on that.
“One more thing,” he murmured. He ghosted his thumb over my bottom lip. “Don’t you dare change your last name back to O’Dwyer.”
I wouldn’t fucking dream of it!
I threw my arms around his neck again and squeezed him tight, once more at a loss for words.
This was fucking happening.
West and I were back together.
Holy shite.
Colby was easy. He even declined payment, but we were having none of that. We bought ourselves two hours, and Colby took Trip and Ellie to a pastry shop a few minutes away, and later they were gonna watch a movie in Colby’s studio.
It would give us a nice start on our recovery.
Knowing that West tasted like sunscreen after golf—and I’d had the anxious sweats all morning—a shower was in order. And I could admit, I was clingy as fuck in there, but we got clean, and that was all that mattered.
“Let’s get you in bed.” West wrapped a towel around me and dipped down for a kiss. “I’ll set an alarm— Is that your phone?”
I cocked my head, listening, and I heard it. “It’s probably Dad. He’s called me twice already. Lemme check it real quick.” I wrapped the towel around my hips instead and walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. My phone was there, next to my shorts, on the bed. Sure enough, Dad had called again. Dammit. Three times was one too many to brush off. I called him back as West joined me with another towel.
I dragged it over my head and around my shoulders while I waited for Dad to?—
“Took you long enough, son,” he answered gruffly.
“Sorry, I’m busy reuniting with West,” I replied. West shot me a soft grin. “What’s up, Dad?”
“Uh…you’re back with him, then?” Dad asked, confused.
“Aye, I wore him down.” It was too soon to be smug; I was still high on disbelief and relief, but I’d get there one day.
“Glad to hear it,” Dad responded firmly. Then I heard Ma hollering in the background, something about overreacting…?
I knew them well enough to guess that Dad was in the living room and Mom was in the kitchen. One sat in his ratty leather recliner, and the other was cleaning the cupboards that had never seen a speck of dust.
“What’s she yellin’ about?” I asked.
Dad sighed. “Maybe it’s nothin’. Lemme talk to her again. I’ll call you later.”
“Uh…aight.” I scratched the side of my head. “Yeah, okay.”
He hung up the phone, and I didn’t know what the hell had just happened. He’d called me three fucking times, only to say it might not be anything? Whatever.
“What was that about?” West asked.
“Beats me.” I shrugged and left my phone on the nightstand, right next to where I’d put my stunning watch. “Probably some shit with Mom. Right now, she’s at that stage where she wants to hug me and smack me upside the head at the same time, and my old man is stuck in the middle.”
“I’m very familiar with that stage, sweetheart,” West said wryly.
I beamed at him, filled with a rush of happiness. “All I’m hearing is that baby and sweetheart are back.”
He shook his head in amusement, though I saw too much affection in his eyes for me to buy the “oh, you” act. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he was a pro at that look. He’d given it to me countless times over the years. But right now, he was probably feeling what I was feeling.
Sheer fucking bliss.
Once we’d shed our towels, we met under the covers, and he gathered me close where I belonged. I all but fused myself to his body, and nobody better fucking call me anytime soon. We had what, an hour and a half left, maybe?
“I love you.” I nuzzled his stubbly jaw and kissed him there. Nothing tasted like sunscreen, thank fuck.
He hummed and slipped a hand down to my ass. “I love you more.”
Un-fucking-likely.
“All mine again,” he whispered. “I’m never letting you go, Alfie.”
I shuddered and buried my face against his neck. Fuck, it was indescribable. He loved me, he was giving me a second chance, it was us again, he was never letting me go. My eyes burned behind closed lids, and it felt like my chest was going to explode. Emotions surged and rushed through me, and I was overwhelmed by a million doses of aloe that worked to mend every break caused by grief and despair.
I didn’t fucking know how to live without that pain anymore. It was bizarre. Almost as if my body tried to search for the hurt, somewhere deep inside, because it’d been my normal for years. But there was no hurt.
Fear, on the other hand… Not a truckload, just enough to tighten my stomach a bit and make me swear to do everything for us.
Shannon had told me his strategy beforehand and what he was going to bring up, so I knew he’d been fairly frank with West. He’d been honest and straightforward to the point where I could really believe this could work since West had come home to pull me into his arms. He’d listened to Shan’s words. He’d processed admissions about the Sons of Munster. He definitely knew the Sons were everywhere, including on the board at work. He knew. And he was still here, holding me.
No fucking shit, I was overwhelmed. This was crazy. Not to mention brand-new for me. Complete honesty? Shit. It was bonkers. My heart hammered a little faster as I really let that sink in. Openness and honesty had been a pipe dream before. There’d always been something between us, right? Like his old man’s bullshit—when he’d warned me and said he knew of my relation to John Murray. And now?—
“Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours,” West murmured.
I took a deep breath and slipped a hand up his chest. “A sense of relief I’ve never felt before.” I cleared my throat and kissed the spot below his ear. “Just the fact that I can be completely honest with you… I can’t describe how freeing that is.” I kissed my way up his neck and cheek, and he gave my ass a squeeze that flooded me with urgency. “I swear I’ll always be myself, papi. No more hiding. No more fucking up?—”
“Hey.” He met me in a kiss and pulled me on top of him, and I was more than fine with that. I wriggled my ass over his semi-hard cock and sat up, to which he followed and sat up too. “We’ve both fucked up, and we’ll continue to do so for as long as we live.”
“I mean on that scale,” I said. “I was such a dumbass?—”
“That’s enough,” he whispered and nipped at my bottom lip. Ouch, that one had a warning sting to it. “We’re done apologizing, and we’re done feeling bad. Our biggest concerns right now are how we can spend as much time together as possible, when we tell our children we’re a family again, and how quickly I can get a ring back on your finger.”
I cupped his face in my hands and smiled like an idiot into a hard kiss. “I like those concerns—and quick is the best pace.”
“Not for everything.”
Hnngh.
There was nothing semi about his cock anymore.
“So are we gonna nap?” I reached blindly for the almond oil on his nightstand, and he seduced me with a deep, tongue-teasing kiss that gave me goose bumps all over.
“For sure.” He sucked in a breath and left a trail of kisses down to my neck, where he sucked on my skin as I poured oil into my hand.
Then I reached under me and found him hard, and I made quick work of slicking him up for me.
“Fuck,” he exhaled. “That’s my boy.”
All yours.
All mine.
He returned the oil while I gripped his cock and positioned myself over it, and I had to be careful. Slow and steady wins the race and all that. ’Cause we’d been at it a little too roughly at my house. I’d woken up sore as fuck. My ass needed a bit of time to readjust to nightly dickings after going so long without.
I let out an unsteady breath as I bore down and took him in, slow inch by slow inch. I felt my eyes close, and the fire ignited.
He grazed his teeth along my neck, his shallow breaths hitting my skin.
Oh, fuck me.
Despite the pain that flared up, a familiar craving made me throw caution to the wind, and I just needed more. I needed a hard hit to shake me up; I needed his aggressiveness to make me a good boy.
“We’ll buy a new house,” he said, his voice thick with desire.
“Can we focus on fucking?” I didn’t understand how his brain could even function properly. “Like, how can you even…”
He chuckled huskily and gripped my hips. “Can you blame me for wanting you around the clock?”
Nice save. That was a good one. I felt special again. But in general, let’s not discuss the housing market when you’re balls deep in my ass . Which he officially was. Holy fuck, that burned so good. I let out a groan and wiggled carefully over him.
As if on cue, West took over. More than that, he stole my focus. His hands framed my face, and he made me look him in the eye. Noses almost touching. I swallowed and exhaled shakily.
His eyes were so fucking sexy, and I loved what the years were doing to him. I’d probably given him some of those grays—and hopefully some of those laugh lines too.
It’s you and me, papi.
“I love you so much, baby,” he murmured.
I swallowed again and nodded jerkily, unable to speak. But it was okay. West knew how to take care of me. He knew how to play me like a fucking fiddle—in the best ways—and before I knew it, my stomach flipped. I was on my back, and I had him towering over me, covering my body with his. He kissed me hungrily, grabbed hold of the headboard, and started fucking me.
He hit all the right spots, and pain and pleasure crashed down on me. I moaned into the kiss and locked my arms and legs around him.
“Oh fuck.” I gasped and screwed my eyes shut, and my fingernails disappeared into his shoulder blades the harder he fucked me.
He groaned and swept his tongue around mine in a seductive push and pull, and I choked on a moan as he ground his cock as deep as he could. But before long, it wasn’t enough. We both needed more, and the desperation clung in the heavy air around us. The moment he pulled out, I knew what was up. Papi needed it rough.
I scrambled onto all fours, and it was my turn to grab on to the headboard. And then he was taking me hard from behind, causing me to cry out and curse.
“There we go,” he breathed. He smacked my ass and punched his cock in and out of me, and fuck me sideways, that was the angle. I moaned uncontrollably and stroked myself, the pleasure spreading through me like wildfire.
It heated me up and made me flush.
“Just like that,” I moaned. “Fuck me, papi. Right there.”
He let out a rumbling sound of approval, and one of his hands roamed up and down my back, tracing my ink. Then down to my ass, where his fingers circled the sensitive edges of my opening.
I clenched down around him, and he cursed under his breath.
As the minutes ticked by, I felt my senses both heighten and shut down. One second, I felt everything, heard everything—every little sound—smelled the sex, tasted our urgency, and then…then it was all gone, and it was like being fucked unconscious underwater. The sounds were just a rush in my ears, and I barely registered our movements. I lost myself in the moment. I didn’t know where he ended and I began. I met every thrust, our groans mingled in the air, and our chase was on.
I didn’t know I was close until I was right there, about to be pushed off the cliff by his forceful thrusts. I whimpered and tensed up, and I stroked myself faster, spurred on by his filth.
“It’s time, baby boy. Make a mess all over the sheets. Papi’s gonna fill you up.”
“ Fuck ,” I gritted out. “I’m so close.”
He let out a labored breath and gripped my hips tighter.
A beat later, his fight was over, and he surrendered to his orgasm. That very first sound, when he sucked in a breath and cursed, and he buried himself all the way in—it pushed me over too. Euphoria washed over me, and come spurted from my cock.
His cock throbbed inside me, and I pushed back as hard as I could. My back arched, I cried out, and he bent over me until his forehead hit the dip between my shoulder blades. Lastly, he slipped a hand up my cock and rubbed in the come. His firm grip and the slickness triggered a violent shiver and one last burst of come.
Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.
All of a sudden, I was panting and seeing black spots, and I realized I’d held my breath for too long.
“Wait here,” he said, out of breath. “Christ.”
He withdrew from me, and I winced as the soreness set in.
“Fuck,” I exhaled, burying my face in the pillow.
I swallowed dryly.
I wasn’t ready to return to the rest of the world. “Actual nap now?”
He chuckled breathlessly, and I heard him disappear into the bathroom. “Absolutely.”
He returned with a towel he’d soaked in warm water, and I shuddered as he cleaned me up.
I made a mental note to leave a stack of towels under the bed. It was our old routine, and it deserved a comeback. I preferred to get off when he was inside me, and he always made me lose my composure so I couldn’t remember to just come in my hand. It was his fault, really.
Plus, he loved it when I made a mess.
“Can I help?”
He smirked to himself as he sliced the eggplant. “Old rules apply, my dear. You’re only allowed to cook when we’re ordering in.”
I laughed and rose from my chair. I couldn’t sit at the kitchen table for two reasons. It was too far away from West, and it was a little too close to the castle Trip was building. If he came back from his movie marathon and found his match creation in shambles, I might as well pack my bags and move out of state.
“I’ll have you know I’ve learned to make some dishes,” I said.
West side-eyed me as I approached. “Is baked ziti with eggplant one of them?”
I felt my forehead wrinkle, and I shook my head.
He nodded once, satisfied, and pointed his knife at the kitchen island. “Then you just sit here shirtless and look pretty for me while I prepare dinner.”
I grinned. Fair enough. I could do that. I jumped up and sat my fine ass on the island, only to wince, ’cause fuck me, I was sore. West moved too. He brought his cutting board and ingredients from his usual spot next to the stove so he could be closer. Then he brought out his phone and found a playlist for us, and I approved. In fact, I recognized it.
“Is this our old cooking playlist?” I had to ask.
He inclined his head and went back to slicing the eggplant. “I haven’t changed it.” He let out a breath and flicked me a brief glance. “Nor have I listened to it much. You kind of took music with you when you moved out.”
I understood him. After our break, music had faded out of my life too. There’d been nothing to celebrate, and I hadn’t wanted music to lift my spirits. Or, the few times I’d tried, music had failed. Instead, it’d become a workout tool. I’d used it to keep my pace up when I went running. I’d used it to distract Ellie. I’d used it to stay angry.
Becoming a part of Liam’s world—and Finn’s and Kellan’s—I’d noticed how much I missed music. As well as the impact it could have on me. Blasting Dropkick was usually a surefire way to get me going, and now…now I knew everything was gonna turn out fine. Nothing was gonna be half-assed or “eh” or “somewhat” or “kinda.” Life was an all-out affair. I wanted to live it fully.
“We will dance again, papi.” I leaned in and kissed his cheek, and he smiled a little. “We’ll have music back in our life.”
His smile softened, and he put down the knife and stepped between my legs. “I like the sound of that.” He kissed me as a new song came on, and it made us both grin. He even turned up the volume. We’d danced to this one before. It was one of those soft rock, feel-good songs, where we’d obviously replaced “her” with “him” when we’d used the kitchen as our arena.
“My life and my thunder,” he murmured into a kiss.
“And I’m never gonna leave.” I deepened the kiss briefly and cupped his face in my hands.
“Swear to me.”
“On my fucking life, baby.” I mirrored his smile and pecked him a few more times, and I started bobbing my head to the beat?—
“Um, hellooooo!?”
Oh shite!
We jumped back from each other as if we’d been doing something wrong, and shock ran through me as I threw a glance at the doorway. Fucking perfect. Ellie stood there with her hands on her hips. Trip too. He cocked his head, possibly trying to understand what he’d walked into. Colby followed and stopped short in the wide doorway.
“Uh. Is this a bad time?” he asked.
“Our daddies kissed!” Ellie exclaimed.
Fuck, fuck. West and I exchanged a quick look, and we knew we had to roll with the punches on this one. It wasn’t like we were planning on waiting to tell them about some changes we had to look forward to. But…maybe we’d hoped to discuss those changes first.
I cleared my throat and slid off the counter.
“I suppose we should talk,” West announced. He gestured at the kitchen table. “Children, have a seat, please. Colby, you’re welcome to stay too.”
Was he? Yeah, of course he was. West had all but adopted him at this point.
For doing his best to avoid the mafia, West was hella associated with gangsters. His ex-husband was affiliated, his future husband was affiliated, and the kid he was trying to bribe into going to college was affiliated.
I was just sayin’.
“This is so weird,” Ellie whispered to Trip. Not that she knew the definition of whispering, but she tried.
Trip didn’t say anything. He just glanced curiously between West and me.
Colby looked like he wanted to make a run for it, and I couldn’t blame him. But he didn’t say anything either, like Trip. They took their seats at the table, and Ellie climbed up in the chair at the head. How symbolic. Our little ballbuster.
Trip was more concerned about his castle. He literally placed his arms along the sides of the project, creating a barrier of protection.
West and I sat down across from them, and I let him take the lead. He’d always been better with words.
“I’d like to start by asking if you remember when we all lived together in this house,” he said, always so patient. He just knew the right approach.
Ellie scrunched her nose. “A little. I remember when I got my other room at Daddy’s house.” She nodded at me.
“I remember,” Trip replied quietly. “You got divorced. You don’t talk much.”
Oh, this might get painful. While West and I had done our absolute best to avoid fighting in front of the kids, a perceptive creature like Trip would definitely pick up on the tension. And the silence. Hell, Ellie had too. Kids were usually way more observant than we gave them credit for.
Whenever they’d expressed their curiosity—usually tinted by sadness—about why we had divorced, we’d told them this happened sometimes with parents. That we loved being their fathers but we didn’t get along as a couple.
“We’ve been working on that,” West continued. He had his dad cap on firmly, which meant his voice was extra warm and radiating comfort. “We’ve been talking more lately, figuring out why we had problems in the past, and we…” He cleared his throat and covered my hand with his on the table. I was quick to turn mine so we could thread our fingers together.
“We miss each other,” I heard myself say. But that worked, didn’t it? Not too shabby. I wanted to keep going too, and I wanted to address Ellie, because she was more like me. “You know how you sometimes get angry when you’re sad?”
She tilted her head.
West elaborated. “For instance, the other day when you were sad about not getting a pet. It made you angry with us.”
That made her huff. “Yeah.”
I felt my mouth twitch. “Daddy and I have been like that too,” I said. “For a long time, we were sad about not getting along, but we didn’t really understand why we couldn’t get along, so it made us angry instead. We started fighting.”
West squeezed my hand, hopefully in silent approval.
“And you’re a li’l hothead like me, baby girl,” I told Ellie. “You know how it’s easy to get angry when something hurts.”
“I guess…” She shifted in her seat to sit on her hands.
“Daddy and I were in a lot of pain,” West said. “That’s why we couldn’t see clearly. Feelings and emotions can be very confusing, even for grown-ups.”
I snorted softly. “Maybe sometimes more for us.”
West chuckled quietly and inclined his head, then returned his attention to Trip and Ellie. “If you have any questions about all this, you can always ask us. Whenever and however many times you want. But the bottom line is, your father and I have realized we miss each other very much. We love each other, and we’re working on talking more.” He took a breath, and it was my turn to squeeze his hand. “And we want to know what you’d think about us becoming a family that lives together again.”
Ellie perked up at that, and she chewed on her lip. “We’d all live here?”
I glanced at West. That was one of those things we hadn’t discussed yet.
“We haven’t decided on the place yet,” he answered. “I think…for now, the important thing is for us to spend more time together. The place doesn’t matter as much. But in the future, we might buy a new house. I know, for instance, you like living in the city…? You also like having a backyard and?—”
“I need a pool in my life, Dads,” Trip said, very firmly.
I grinned. “We’d never take that away from you, sweetheart.”
He exhaled in relief.
But on a serious note: “You have your school here too,” I said. “We’ll find a good compromise when the time is right, but for the moment, we can spend most of our time here, and sometimes we’ll head into the city.”
My guess? We’d sell my house before the year was over. Then we’d see. Having spent time with Finn and Emilia at their house in Villanova, I could admit I was beginning to see the appeal of having that slice of heaven farther away from the city. Even though…yeah, I was always going to love the city. So…we’d see.
What I did know for sure was that I was in no rush, and I’d be a lot happier moving back in here now than I had been when I’d moved out. The house itself had hardly been the main problem.
“We can also go fifty-fifty,” West reasoned. “I want you to be happy where you live?—”
“Trust, I’ll be ecstatic,” I chuckled. “We’ll figure it out. All I want is for us to be together. The place is fuckin’ irrelevant. Besides—” I turned to the kids. “Now that we’re a proper family again, I want weekends full of road trips and adventures.”
Yeah, that worked—on both of them. Ellie fist-pumped the air, and Trip lit up, presumably at the prospect of going to more water parks.
“Well, there we have it,” West chuckled. “I take it you approve, darlings.”
“Yeah!” Ellie couldn’t sit still anymore.
“I would have been super happy without adventures also, but now I’m super- super happy.” Trip beamed. “Can we go to the water park in South Carolina?”
We’d been to two places down there, but I had a feeling he meant the one outside Greenville.
“We can discuss vacations soon,” West promised. “I just wanna make sure everyone’s okay with this. Adventures aside—Ellie, princess, how do you feel about all of us living together again?”
Our girl smiled, though I could detect some lingering confusion about the whole thing, and that wasn’t surprising. She was still so young.
“I want us together all the time,” she said with a soft shrug.
“Yeah.” Trip nodded.
I smiled and swallowed, feeling like shit for the instability we’d subjected them to. I mean, parents divorced all the time, and sometimes for the better. But it still hurt to be a root of pain and insecurity for a child.
Ellie sat forward and clasped her hands on the table, and she eyed us in the way she did when she wanted to push. She had something on her mind. Our little sneak.
“Can we get a dog now?” she asked. There it was. Christ. She looked to West. “Daddy, you said we don’t have time cuz you work so much, but now you will both be here…?”
That one’s all yours, papi.
I coughed to hide a chuckle.
West let out a sigh and smiled ruefully. “You work fast, don’t you?” He scrubbed a hand over his face, flicked me a quick glance, then looked back to Ellie. “I’m supposed to be discussing this with Daddy first, but the truth of the matter is, I’ve given this some great thought. A dog isn’t an option for us, so what would you say about a cat?”
A fucking what?
Ellie gasped and sat up straight. “I can get a kitten?!” she almost screamed. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Never mind, definitely screaming. And suddenly, jumping around. “I’m getting a kitten! Thank you, Daddy! Thank you, Daddy!”
In the commotion of our acid trip’s yelling and shaking us—or hugging us—I raised a brow at West.
“For real?”
“I’ll explain later, but it’s the right move,” he chuckled. “You did say once that a cat wasn’t the worst idea, yes?”
Uh, sure, but…neither was a goldfish.
“I’m getting a caaaaaat!” Arms up and flailing, Ellie ran a victory lap around the kitchen island. “I gots to call Lizzie R! I’m getting a cat! Oh my gosh!”
Fuck me, she better not try drugs when she grew up. No military in the world could defend itself against Ellie Scott on crack.
Kidding aside, she was goddamn adorable.
It was impossible not to smile, and I even caught Colby grinning.
He noticed my watching him, and he composed himself with a quiet chuckle. “So this is how mature grown-ups handle problems. Good to know.”
Was I mature? I wasn’t sure. Although, compared to the adults he’d been around growing up, I was hella fucking mature.
“Consider yourself invited to every family meeting from here on out,” West told him. “Now more than ever, you need to be around good family values and, well, me. Not this one.” He jerked his thumb at me, to which I cracked up. “I will never give up on you, Colby,” he finished vehemently.
Colby tried to go the cocky smirk route, though his bashfulness shone through a bit.
I leaned in with a grin and kissed West’s cheek. “But you’ll accept him, no matter what, am I right?”
That earned me a sharp, narrowed-eyed look.
I cranked up the innocence.
He wasn’t very impressed, but I was too cute for him to withhold a smile. “No matter what,” he echoed.
Excellent! I knew his boundaries, and I was going to honor them. I’d extend that to Colby too, something I’d tell West as soon as we had privacy. Truth be told, I had grown to care for the kid too, and I didn’t want him too close to danger. Luckily, as a future hacker, he was extremely good already at covering his digital footprints. He’d taught me a thing or two as well.
That said, in the spirit of being a no-good mobster, I had to take advantage of the moment. After all, West had already decided we were getting a cat, yeah? So, yeah.
“By the way, as a family wanting to be a united front,” I said, “it goes without saying you’ll come with us to a birthday party at Finn and Emilia’s on Saturday.”
He lifted his brows.
“It’s for two of their boys,” I went on. “And you’ll help me pick out gifts, right? It’s gonna be fun. Thanks, honey. You’re the best.”