Part 10 Asha
At almost five p.m., I finally surrendered to my temporary inability to concentrate on anything. I hadn't accomplished a single thing—not even finishing an email, which was strange for me. Work had always been my refuge, the place I could escape to, where I could lose myself in tasks and complicated numbers, denying the existence of the world outside this office. But today, even that safe haven failed me.
But I didn't want to go home yet. I wasn't ready to face Aiden. I knew he'd want to talk about this morning, but I was determined not to give him the time of day. I wanted to punish him, to make him feel the hurt that I was feeling. It was the only way for him to notice me, to pay attention to me, to Kayden, to Chloe. I wanted him to understand the depth of the pain he'd caused, to bear the weight of it, just as I did.
I had no doubt that Aiden would wait for me at home. Then he would shower me with attention, apologizing, and ensuring I felt loved. He'd try harder to mask the brokenhearted look on his face, putting on a more cheerful and loving front. But I would see right through it. And I knew it wouldn't last. Once he felt I was subdued and back to normal, he would slip back into his old ways, and he would mourn her or love her all over again.
I also knew that it might backfire—I knew that. There was a real possibility that ignoring him, hurting him, would only make him believe that his place was no longer with us and that nothing tied him to this family anymore. In the past, that fear had kept me in a state of denial, and I avoided any confrontation. I didn't want to give him a reason to leave. But now, I realized that by staying silent, I was only prolonging the inevitable. Because he went away anyway. His mind and his heart were no longer with his family.
The knock on my door startled me. It would be Dennis. He always knocked when he thought I might be mad at him instead of just barging in. Despite everything, I couldn't stay angry with him for long. He was one of my true friends—one of only three I had, including Liam—and I intended to keep them forever.
"Come in, Dennis," I yelled from my desk. "No need to knock. I'm not mad at you."
Then the door swung open, and a head—belonging to a very tall body—appeared. "Last I checked, my name is Liam," he said with a grin as he stepped fully into the room. "Although I must say, I'm flattered to be mistaken for Dennis, especially considering my sense of fashion is basically, well, shit."
I stared at him in complete shock, unable to mask my surprise. I hadn't expected him to show up, especially after I had bailed on our usual lunch date. He must have been up early this morning, working tirelessly to prepare a special meal just for us, and I selflessly let it go to waste.
As he approached my desk, his turquoise eyes seemed to drink me in, capturing my full attention. "I came bringing a gift. Ben & Jerry's." Liam extended his hand, presenting an ice cream with a sheepish smile. His other hand was holding two silver spoons. No bowls. He wanted us to share the ice cream, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. It'll be too intimate, right? No? Should I care? But then I remembered we had already done that. On our first dinner together, with that chocolate cheesecake. Why was it so easy with this guy?
"It's PB Over the Top," he added cheerfully. "It's peanut butter cup on top of peanut butter cup. What's fucking better than that?"
Then, I found myself smiling at him, unable to suppress the warmth that spread across my face. The unexpected sight of him made me realize how much I had missed him. Why didn't I spend time with him today? His mere presence seemed to hold the power to dissolve the gloom that had been hanging over me. He had a way of making everything seem a little brighter for me.
Liam stood across from my desk and didn't take a seat immediately, as if he was waiting for some kind of permission or signal from me. Probably because I was still gaping in silence at him, or because he came unannounced. He wasn't sure how I would react. I raised my brows in question, a hint of a smile playing at my lips despite myself. "What are you waiting for? Sit down and open it now."
His face relaxed into a grin. He quickly lowered himself into the chair, placing the pint of ice cream and the spoons on the desk between us. With a playful glint in his eyes, he opened the container. "This is the best ice cream in the world." He informed me with conviction.
"I tried it before," I said. "But I prefer Chocolatey Love A-Fair better."
He froze, his hand hovering over the ice cream as he processed my words. His expression shifted to one of stunned silence, his turquoise eyes locked onto mine.
Then it dawned on me. The realization of what I'd just said hit me a moment too late. Heat rushed to my cheeks as I blushed furiously, and I started sputtering a bunch of nonsense. "Not that I'm suggesting anything..." I stammered, feeling the flush deepen. "There's really a flavor with that name. I'm not making it up. I bought it all the time. It's chocolate with caramel and salt. Salted caramel–"
"Asha," Liam whispered, though his voice came out a bit too loud.
"Yes?" I croaked, swallowing hard. I felt stupid. I was never this stupid. Liam made me happy, but he also made me act stupid. And blushing all the damn time.
His gaze softened, and a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "I like that too," he said gently. "Next time, I'll ensure we get that one."
Liam was looking at me with... I honestly didn't know how to describe how he was looking at me right now. There was something intense, something charged in his gaze, and I felt that the conversation had shifted, and we were no longer just talking about ice cream. His eyes held mine with a brazenness that made my pulse quicken, and suddenly, Dennis's teasing words echoed in my mind—how Liam looked at me like he wanted to eat me alive. I believed this was it.
Liam handed me a spoon and dug in. I followed suit, concentrating on the ice cream as if it were the most important thing in the world, while I felt Liam's gaze concentrating on me. The silence stretched between us, growing heavier with each passing second, until I couldn't bear it any longer. I broke the stillness. "How did Dennis get you to come here?" I asked, my voice a little more strained than I intended.
Liam chuckled as he licked his spoon, and the gesture hypnotized me. I couldn't look away, completely captivated by the slow, deliberate motion as he savored the taste. "He made me swear not to tell you he asked me to come here."
"Yeah, too late for that. The cat is out of the bag. What did he say?"
"Nothing much, really. He barged into my office, demanded to see me. He said: Asha needs you. Bring something sweet."
"That's it?"
"That's it. And oh, yes. He said if I told you he asked me to do this, he'd kill me. Then he made me swear on it."
"And you came right away?" My voice softened. I was touched. I couldn't help it.
"Technically, I went down to buy this ice cream first, but yes. Of course, I'd come right away, Asha. I was worried."
"I'm fine." I was getting tired of saying it already.
"Your face says otherwise."
My hands instinctively touched my cheeks. "Really?"
"Yes," he replied, his tone unwavering. "I can tell something's wrong."
"I'm fi—"
He cut me off quickly. "You're not." He leaned forward across the desk, his chin hovering over the ice cream tub. "I'm a good listener, you know. And I've been told I'm a pretty decent misery bucket."
I let out a small laugh. "Misery bucket?"
"Yeah. The one people like to pour all their misery into."
I shook my head slowly, a faint smile tugging at my lips. "I prefer to silently wallow in my misery. It's my thing."
"Sometimes," he said, his voice softening, "we need someone to talk to. Someone we can unload everything onto. It's how we keep ourselves sane."
I didn't reply and went back to scooping the ice cream, slowly licking the spoon clean. Liam, being the attentive and perceptive person he was, knew I couldn't be pushed. "Whenever you're ready, Asha. I'll be here for you."
My eyes lifted to him as I straightened up to face him fully. "Why are you so nice to me?"
"Why can't I?" He asked me back.
"Are you like this with everyone else?" I asked. I didn't know Liam well enough to see him with others often, but I had noticed how attentive he was with Dennis. And Theo, though Keith worried over Theo more, constantly fussing over him like he was five, afraid he'd clumsily hurt himself. Liam was a nice guy, but I had a feeling he was nicer to me than anyone else.
"Probably. I've never given it much thought."
"Liam," I sighed. "You're confusing me."
"How am I confusing you?" He looked genuinely puzzled, more confused than I was.
"You cook for me every day."
He looked hurt. "Don't you enjoy it?"
"I do. I enjoy it very much. But I don't understand why you do it."
"I enjoy having lunch with you. I like your company."
"I do too. But we could order takeout, you know. You don't need to go through all that trouble for me."
"But I want to. I love seeing how much you enjoy what I cook." His tone turned sheepish as he smiled softly. I felt a sudden urge to slip a finger into that adorable dimple, which, I must say, totally contradicted the whole tattooed badass vibe he had going on. "I love how it makes you happy."
That was exactly how he confused me. I tried another approach to get him to give me straight answers—Dennis's way. Blunt, no filters. "Dennis mentioned something today about the way you looked at me."
Liam palpably tensed. "And?"
"He said you looked at me like you wanted to eat me."
That visibly shocked him. He gaped at me, his eyes widening until I could see the whites surrounding his pupils. Then he laughed—hard. His head fell back as he kept laughing, the sound echoing through the room. He laughed for so long, but by the time he finally collected himself, he saw me glaring at him, frowning. He started laughing all over again.
"Stop it," I told him firmly.
"Oh, Asha," Liam wiped the tears from his eyes with the pad of his palms. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it."
"Yeah. It's hilarious," I mumbled, feeling utterly dejected. Of all the reactions I thought he'd have, laughing wasn't one of them. I felt like a fool. I knew that there was a possibility that I was reading him wrong, given how little my experience was with men, but I never thought that I would be humiliated like this. And today was just not the day to piss me off. "Maybe we should call it a night. I still have some work to do."
That sobered him up so quickly, he nearly jumped out of his seat. "What? Why?"
"If you could take the ice cream with you," I said, picking up the lid and pressing it firmly onto the tub. "Or I could toss it in the pantry." I forced a smile, trying to mask my disappointment. "But thank you. It was a nice gesture."
"Asha," he breathed, the laughter completely drained from his face. He looked positively wrecked. "Did I offend you?"
I shook my head." No, it's fine." At this point, I hated the word fine with something fierce. "But I really need to get back to work, otherwise I won't be able to go home."
"I'm sorry," he said softly, looking so miserable sitting across me with his shoulders slumped, despite his entire body being stiff as a board. "I didn't mean –"
I shook my head to cut him off. "I said, it's fine." I was done with men. Husband, friends—just all of them. The only men I would keep in my life were Kayden, Dennis and my brothers. It was clear I didn't know how to deal with the rest or how to act around them. I was just done.
I pressed the intercom button, and Dennis's voice immediately filled the room. "Why are you calling me?" He whined. "I'm about to go home."
"Come to my office. I need to discuss my schedule tomorrow." Then I turned to Liam, releasing my finger from the button. "I'll be seeing you, Liam."
There was a pause. Everything around us seemed to freeze—Liam and I locked in silence. Then Dennis burst into the room so abruptly that he slammed the door against the wall. He glanced wildly between me and Liam, his eyes darting back and forth. With a look of confusion, he mouthed to Liam, "What happened?" Liam could only return his gaze with a helpless, defeated expression.
"Liam is just leaving," I told Dennis as he walked up to me. He frowned at me. I was never this harsh, especially at dismissing people. I usually just endured their ramblings, even though they wasted my time, forcing me to work late to make up for it.
Liam still didn't move. He kept staring at me with pleading eyes, but he seemed unsure of what to say. After a moment, he finally managed, "I need to explain, Asha."
I shot a fierce glance at Dennis, who knew what to do immediately. Bless him.
"Let me walk you out," he said to Liam, and touched his arm. "Come on."
Looking even more defeated, Liam finally rose from his seat. Before he turned around, he said, "I'll come back tomorrow."
I shook my head. "Maybe some other time."
"Asha,"
"I'll let you know when I have time." My tone was final, and he understood. With his head hung between his shoulders, Liam dragged his feet to the door, Dennis silently following beside him. After he left, I tried to concentrate on my work again, but of course, Dennis wouldn't let me.
He entered my office with a guilty look on his face and took a seat across from me without waiting to see if I was okay with it. "I was only trying to help." He began.
"I know. But you need to stop."
"Okay. I'm so sorry."
"Just... go home now, Dennis. I need to be alone."
"He was devastated, you know. I don't know what happened. He won't tell me. I know you won't either. But he told me this. That you misunderstood, and he asked me to tell you he won't give up."