Part 16 Aiden
I stood there, stuck in my head, staring at the pile of boxes and suitcases in the garage. Few of the boxes were open, revealing my clothes—some of them were shredded and ruined. Nothing was packed properly, just shoved in carelessly. Asha was getting rid of me. Every part of me, as if I were nothing but trash. The realization hit hard, a wave of rejection that made me want to shout in anger, but I knew I couldn't. I couldn't lash out because this was my fault. I did this to myself.
I had pushed her to the point where she believed there was no redemption left for us. I should be angry at myself for driving her away, for making her feel that erasing me from her life was the only way forward.
I didn't know what else to do. For the first time in my life, I felt truly hopeless. I was drained; even breathing felt like a struggle. Everywhere I looked, I saw dead ends—constant reminders of how massive my mistake had been. It was like I had dug a hole so deep there was no way out, no way forward. The pressure weighed on me so heavily that the only escape I could think of was to curl up and disappear, to just fade away.
Asha asked me if I could stop loving Vanessa. I couldn't answer. I didn't know what fucking answer that wouldn't hurt her. Because I knew I couldn't stop loving Vanessa just like I couldn't stop loving Asha. I loved two women with every beat of my goddamn heart, and I didn't know how to let go of either of them.
"What do you want to do with those boxes?" I heard Roy's—my driver/bodyguard/friend—voice faintly from behind me, then I felt his presence next to me, and together we stared at the pile of shits belonging to me that meant nothing to me anymore.
"Leave them." I said.
"Asha asked me to take them to you."
"No. They stay." I stubbornly said.
"Where are you staying now?" He asked. I didn't take him with me; I wanted him to drive and accompany my kids instead.
"At the company's apartment. The one we used for guests."
"You don't need me to drive you?"
I shook my head. "You take care of the kids. I'll drive myself."
"You know," He sighed. "I really, really , want to say that I told you so." He paused for a while before he added, "But now, looking at you so fucked up, it's probably too mean to say it."
"I deserve it." I mumbled.
"Yeah, you do." He nodded, agreeing too easily. "Sometimes I looked at you and found myself thinking, who even is this man? Because this... this is not the Aiden I knew." There was sadness in his voice that I couldn't bear to hear. Even Roy was disappointed with me. Everybody was disappointed with me. "I've known you for twelve years, and I think I've earned the right to say I know you well enough to see the difference. I used to be proud to say I worked for you, proud to call you my friend. But now?" He paused and drew his eyes away from me like he couldn't bear to look at me for a moment longer. As he walked off, he added, "I'm not sure anymore."
Leaving my house, I took a long drive, circling my office building, trying to clear my head. My thoughts were all over the place, making it hard to focus. I couldn't walk into the office like this—too distracted, too unsettled. I needed time to cool down before facing everything waiting for me inside.
While I drove, I tried to piece together how it all got so out of control with Vanessa. How things spiraled so fast, and I became someone I barely recognized. How far I let it go, how much I lost sight of myself.
I had to forget Vanessa. To really let go. But the more I thought about it, the more every moment with her surfaced in my mind. I tried to convince myself that it was over and that I should move on from her. But no matter how much I tried, she was still there in my head, like a habit I couldn't shake.
I knew I hadn't been fair to Vanessa either. I asked her to be my other woman, knowing I could never truly be hers. She once asked if I came to her because my marriage was unhappy, and I couldn't answer. I was conflicted. Before Vanessa, I had everything with Asha. I was convinced I was the luckiest man alive. My world revolved around Asha, and I never even looked at another woman. I loved her so deeply. She was my soul, the one who breathed life into me for years. But Vanessa... she took my heart in a way I never expected. She came into my life like a raging storm—fast, unpredictable, and impossible to escape. I was caught in her pull, powerless to resist, even though I knew it would tear everything apart.
And now, torn between the two, I could not let go of either. I needed Asha to live, but I needed Vanessa to feel alive.
The reason for my infidelity sounded pathetic, even to me. I was a weak man, and I could admit that. But how could anyone understand I was driven by love? That I never set out to hurt anyone? Yet, in the end, I hurt them both so deeply that they walked away from me.
I needed to get my priorities straight. Vanessa was already gone, and I knew that. But the love I had for her still lingered, and I wasn't sure if it would ever fade. The thought of forgetting her felt like tearing out a part of myself. But I had no choice—I had to let her go, no matter how much it killed me inside.
My family needed me. Asha, the kids—they were what mattered now. I had to focus on them, rebuild what I'd shattered, even if it meant burying every trace of Vanessa. No more distractions, no more lies. I had to face the mess I'd made and try to fix what was left.