Chapter 46
Chapter Forty-Six
Teariki
My heart hurts. There’s this feeling of tightness in my chest, this sense of emptiness.
I tried to be like Nik and fill it with booze and women.
When that didn’t work, I left Mia and Aria in the hot tub.
Then I tried to be like Boden and smoked two entire fae joints, in the dark, alone.
Nothing changed…well, not nothing, I did hurl afterward.
Now I am pacing in my room after trying to sit still and channel Kian’s rigid meditation methods.
But the truth is, I don’t think any of this will actually help.
The only things that will be helpful are cuddle time with Cal and their sweet words, but I’m pretty sure they’re pissed at me.
I don’t blame them. I expected them back over thirty minutes ago.
Cal and Boden should have found Lena quickly and dropped her off at her dorm.
But it’s been almost two hours, and they’re not back yet.
I know I was an ass, bringing Mia and Aria into the study.
Since Cal and I first got together, I haven’t even kissed anyone else.
Until tonight. Cal doesn’t know that, of course.
They’ve always been careful to keep our relationship at arm’s length.
I understand why. We can’t ever really be together, not in any permanent way.
And I know they take other partners. But I…
I just can’t. I’ve been all in since our first kiss four years ago.
Of course that was until Lena, the succubus.
For the sake of the Sun and the Moon, I was so stupid.
She came traipsing into our lives, and I thought…
I don’t know what I thought. But I could see it, her and me and Cal together.
The three of us, cooking breakfast and baking sweet cinnamon rolls in the kitchen of my cabin, swimming in the lake on the compound, making love under the full moon in the woods.
I know that dream is full of a million impossibilities, but I had hoped fitting Lena in, like a missing puzzle piece, would make the whole picture so much clearer.
But that dream wasn’t real, just a fantasy. Because she isn’t our missing piece. She’s a succubus, and all my feelings, and all my boners, were just a result of her abilities and power. And now my heart has blue balls.
I check the time on my phone. It’s almost three o’clock.
Fucking long ass night. I need to see Callum, I need to apologize.
I can’t wait any longer. They are likely so upset with my behavior that they stayed at their dorm.
I shoot off a quick text to the group chat letting them know I’m heading to campus.
I strip down and throw my clothing in a backpack, I’m too drunk and high to drive.
But I’m not too drunk to shift. The door that leads to the patio bounces against my bedroom wall as I throw it open.
The moon is now low in the sky, and I send her a silent prayer that everything’s okay.
I push my body to shift, welcoming the change with a deep breath.
Tension builds in my muscles, and the pleasant ache blooms in my bones.
The first crack of shifting bones sends a jolt of pain through my spine, sharp and electric, but I revel in it.
My hands curl into claws, nails elongating, my skin stretching and splitting, fur sprouting in its place.
My spine arches, each vertebra snapping as my body reshapes itself.
The pain is a gateway, an opening to something more, something primal and fierce.
My senses heighten, the world around me exploding into vivid detail—the scent of the earth, the rustle of leaves, the distant heartbeat of prey.
The pain fades, replaced by a deep sense of belonging, a connection to my pack even with over a hundred miles of distance.
I pick my backpack up with my teeth and race out into the woods and along the road that will take me to Cal.
My paws pound on the pavement, claws scraping across gravel, as I push my body to the limit.
I cover a mile in a few minutes and come to an abrupt halt, I smell blood.
Not animal blood. Blood tinted with the subtle scent of apple, chamomile, and sage—Cal!
I sniff the air, catching hints of a smoky coppery scent drenched in roses and juniper and frost. I run toward the smell, tracking it through the breeze.
Something’s not right. I catch citrus notes of summery bergamot and basil.
Boden’s also hurt. I trace the scent to the road, my snout in the gravel.
I run faster than I’ve ever run. My family’s in danger.
I sense it, I can smell their fear in the air.
In the cloudy mist lying low on the road, Boden’s car sits flipped and crumpled in a ditch. Fuck.
I race over to it, shifting back into my two-legged form.
My bare feet stumble over gravel and glass.
They’re not here, they’re not in the car.
But their blood—so much blood, it’s everywhere.
I pull my clothing and phone out of my bag.
It rings once, twice, three times. Come on, Kian, pick up, pick up.
“Ariki, what’s wrong?” Kian’s worried voice answers through the line.