Chapter 16
The music playedloud over my speakers, blocking out any thoughts other than the painting in front of me. I didn’t have to teach a class today so I figured I would finish working on my next piece. It wasn’t known by many but my artist name was different from my birth name. All of my paintings went under the name Allure, due the sensual nature of my art.
I loved how close it was to my actual name but it gave me the space to create without all the commotion. It was funny I chose a name so I could have a private life, then I went and married a man who couldn’t have a private life if he wanted to. But life had a funny way of showing you, you can’t hide forever.
Mahalia and even my parents had told me I should stop hiding behind that name but I was afraid the moment my art had a face to go with it, it would lose its beauty and meaning. It was too important to me. It was worth more than letting the world know I was one of the biggest artist in the world.
I felt cocky even thinking that, but there was no thought to it. Especially since I had gotten a piece of mail with a beautiful gold seal. I knew what it was before I opened it. I had been ignoring it for weeks, not ready to step out from behind the name I crafted to keep my art safe.
This letter was attached to the biggest honor an artist could receive. I hadn’t told Niko about it or even mentioned that I was a bigger deal than he could imagine. It wasn’t because I didn’t trust him but I wanted to see how he would treat me if he thought I was just a simple artist who made a couple thousand every now and again but who also played art teacher by day. It was a lot bigger than that. I was a millionaire, I just didn’t allow money to change me.
To be honest, the only reason I decided to sell my art was because of that one night with Niko. He said something to me that night that would change who I became today. I stopped painting as that night came back to me in full swing.
I walked around the room infatuated with the art that adorned the walls in the suite. Niko stood close to the door, unmoving, but his eyes ate up every step I took.
I glanced over my shoulder with a smile. His hands were tucked into his pockets with a smirk.
“Can I help you, sir?” I asked.
He strolled over toward me with his hands still in his pockets, then past me, toward the couch in the center of the room. He patted the cushion beside him so I followed his lead and took a seat. This was my first time having a one-night stand and I was certain I wasn’t doing it right. I turned to face him with a tight-lipped smile.
“I’m doing this all wrong, aren’t I?” I asked.
He laughed for the first time since being in this room.
“There is no right or wrong way. We can just vibe. I like your energy, anyway. I’m not saying I wouldn’t like to be sliding as deep as I can get in you, but I also don’t mind hearing you talk. Tell me your dreams,” he said.
Niko leaned back and got comfortable against the couch cushions. Then he turned to face me. I saw his arousal begging to be released but I ignored it and followed his lead, getting comfortable too.
“Um, I feel my dreams are easier said than done. I just want to share my art with the world. But the thing is with me, I love the art, not all the nonsense that can come with it.”
He turned slightly so he could get a good look at me as I spoke.
“What do you mean? I’ve never heard of any drama in the art world,” he asked.
I laughed. “When you get a bunch of creatives in one space who think their work is superior to the next, trust me, you can get a little drama. I don’t want to be part of that. It’s not about the money to me; it’s how I feel when I do it. Art is my escape. It’s the one place I am certain I belong. Can you really add a price tag to that?” I asked.
Niko turned to face the wall in front of us, no longer looking up at me.
“It’s easier than you would think. I play ball and it comes with a hefty price tag. Shit, I love the game, but let’s be real. I need to be compensated for entertaining the masses. Shit, for making the network money. I’m gon’ need my cut. It doesn’t matter how much I love it, this life isn’t free. At some point, you’re going to have to figure out that part of it,” he said.
I ran his words over in my head a few times before looking back in his direction to see him staring at me intently. He was truly interested in the things I had to say and that was new for me with men.
“I guess you’re right.”
“Definitely. If you want to do this for life, you also need to be able to take care of yourself. Charge your worth and then add a few thousands on top of that,” he responded.
I smiled, taking in every word. If only he knew how much this moment was needed.
“You’re very shocking, Mr. Lockwood,” I told him.
He reached out, picked up my hand and placed a kiss against the top of it.
“And don’t you ever forget it.”
The sound of my phone ringing brought me out of my thoughts. I quickly placed my brush into the cup of water beside me, then rushed over to answer before the call went to voicemail. I didn’t usual leave the ringer on but I wanted to be available whenever Niko called so I could hear about his day.
I wiped my hands quickly, then swiped to answer.
“Hey, honey. I know you’re probably working but I had to call and check in on you. You know we tried to give you a little space but I missed hearing your voice,” my mom said as I answered.
I couldn’t help but smile. I walked over to grab the remote to my stereo and paused the music. I wanted to give my mother my undivided attention.
“I’ve been meaning to call, but the moment we got back, I missed my paints and things. It was like I left my kids while going on vacation and now I was ready to get back to them.”
My mom laughed. “You’ve always been that way. You remember that time your father and I thought we were the best parents in the world. We took you all the way to Disney and told you that you couldn’t bring any of that. You were so upset, I remember it like it was yesterday. We ended up buying you a paint kit while there and that was all you wanted to do. I always tell your father at least we got a picture of Disney from that trip.”
I laughed, remembering the moment like it was yesterday. Art had always felt like it was part of me and I couldn’t leave it behind. I had gotten better now that I was older, but around that time. I was addicted to the peace it brought me even at that young age. It was my time away from everything.
“Yes, life was so simple, then. But thinking of that it reminds me how much you and Dad nurtured my gift. I feel like I haven’t thanked you enough for that. I truly appreciate both of you,” I told her.
“Honey, we love you and will do anything to make your dreams come true. It was a no brainer to make sure you had everything you needed.”
I couldn’t help but smile at the thought.
“So how is married life? have you gotten into your first argument over the toilet seat yet?” she asked.
I laughed thinking back to a couple of days ago when Niko left the seat up and I went to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. I almost fell straight through if it weren’t for my hips. I was beyond pissed.
“How did you know?” I asked with a laugh.
“It’s all men, honey. When they go from being bachelors to married men, it’s a process. They’re used to leaving those things as is unless they need the seat down. I had to tell your father over and over for weeks until he finally got it.”
I shook my head at the thought, I was lucky I didn’t have to say it too many more times to Niko. He felt so bad after that night and had tried from that moment moving forward to put the seat down or not pick it up at all. I didn’t know which one it was but I hadn’t had a problem since.
“That’s funny. But why didn’t you tell me marriage was so life changing?” I asked.
“Well, it’s definitely that. But in what way? Good or bad?” she asked.
I crossed my feet at my ankles as I leaned against the wall and stood in front of the window, watching the waves crash against the shore.
“Very good. I keep looking around for the other shoe to drop but I can’t find it. I know he has this weird thing with his parents but I’m unsure of how that will affect our relationship. I wish I could figure it out, I just don‘t want to pry when he isn‘t ready.”
The line went silent for a while before my mom released a sigh.
“You know, I dealt with the same problem with your father’s family. I hope it isn‘t the same. But for me, they weren’t a fan of our fast union. You know I’ve told you many times before, I knew your father was the one the moment I laid eyes on him. According to him, he felt the same thing. We didn’t wait long to marry and create you. Everything happened so fast, it was unlike anything I had ever imagined.”
I smiled, loving when she told this story. “But I don’t understand why this is a problem.”
“Honey, we taught you free thinking and not falling into what society deemed is normal. It’s normal if it feels right to you. You know what’s right and what’s wrong; we all have a moral compass, or at least some of us do. But, some people can’t understand how some people can seamlessly find love without hassle and others cannot.”
I nodded, understanding what she meant. I felt like Niko was right for me when I first met him but my fight with what was normal kept me from it. I felt I had so much to live up to. He was a man who was already established, and all I had were hopes and dreams. I didn’t have anything to offer to the relationship I felt we could have had.
“I get that completely. I didn’t mention this, but the day of the wedding wasn’t my first time meeting Niko,” I told her.
I waited for her gasp of surprise that never came, only a chuckle.
“Honey, you didn’t need to tell me or your father that. Shoot, anyone who was in the room with eyes could see that.”
I dragged a hand down my face with a smile. I knew like she did that there was a bigger connection with Niko and I.
“Yeah, we met a few years ago before I created my Allure persona. When I first met him, I felt like I didn’t have much to offer a man who was established. I didn’t have anything?—”
“No, let me stop you there. You had everything. The way that man looked at you said everything that needed to be said in that moment. He remembered a single moment from years ago. Honey, that’s not the vibes or impressions of an ordinary woman. You’re more than that.”
I smiled as a lone tear slid down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away, not wanting to spoil the moment.
“Thanks, Mom. I needed to hear that. I’m glad you called though. Um, I have this letter and I think I know what it is, but I’m afraid to open it,” I told her, telling her everything and nothing at the same time.
“Save it for your husband, and when you finally open it, I want to hear all about it. Now, when are you coming to visit? I would love to get to know Niko better and so would your father.”
“I’ll talk to Niko about it when he gets home. I know we plan to celebrate his new job more than likely this weekend.”
“Well, that’s fine with me, honey. Give us a time and we will make it happen. But if he is open to it, I would love to cook him a celebratory dinner,” she offered.
“I’ll let him know and let him decide what we will do, but I loved hearing your voice today, Mom. I’ll check in with you soon. Love you.”
“I love you, too, honey.”
I hung up the phone and stood in front of the window for a little while longer. I wanted to appreciate this moment and every one after. I turned and walked back toward my painting, placing my phone beside the stand then continuing to finish my painting.
I stood in front of my canvas, my hand moving in fluid strokes as I lost myself in the vibrant colors and emotions of my latest painting. The soft glow of the studio lights illuminated my work, casting shadows that danced across the room. I was so engrossed in my creative process that I barely noticed the gentle knock on the door frame.
“Hey, babe,” Niko’s warm voice called out, pulling me from my artistic trance. “It’s getting late, and you haven’t had dinner yet. Why don’t you take a break and join me in the kitchen?”
I looked up, a smile spreading across my face as I saw my husband leaning against the doorway, his eyes filled with love and admiration. “Is it that time already?” I asked, setting down my paintbrush and stretching my arms above my head.
“It is.” Niko chuckled, walking over to wrap his arms around my waist.
As he held me close, my gaze drifted to the elegant envelope that had been sitting on my desk for days. I had been hesitant to open it, unsure of what the contents might hold, but my mother’s advice echoed in my mind. She had encouraged me to save the letter and open it, with Niko by my side.
“Actually, there’s something I’ve been meaning to show you,” I said, pulling back to look into his eyes. “I received a letter a few days ago, and I’ve been waiting for the right moment to open it.”
Niko’s brows furrowed with curiosity as I walked over to the desk and picked up the envelope. I held it out to him, my hands trembling slightly. “I’m not sure what it’s about, but I have a feeling it’s important. Would you do the honors?”
He took the envelope from my hands and carefully tore it open, pulling out the letter inside. As he unfolded the paper, his eyes widened, and a grin spread across his face.
“Baby, you’ve been nominated for the Turner Prize!” he said, his voice filled with excitement.
My heart skipped a beat as I processed the news. The Turner Prize was one of the most prestigious awards in the contemporary art scene, and being nominated was a true honor. I had always poured my heart and soul into my sculptures and paintings, but I never expected to receive such recognition, especially while working under my ghost name.
“I… I don’t know what to say,” I whispered, tears of joy welling up in my eyes. “But, how? Someone has to submit your work.”
Niko looked down at the letter again and scanned the letter, searching for the answer.
“It doesn’t say, but that just means all the work you been putting in someone took notice. I am beyond proud of you.”
Niko pulled me into a tight embrace, his own eyes glistening with pride. “You deserve this, Lore. Your talent and passion is undeniable. And now, the world will get to see what I’ve always known – that you’re an extraordinary woman and artist.”
I hugged him back, feeling a sense of gratitude and love wash over me. However a bit of self-doubt and fear reared its ugly head at the thought of placing myself in front of the image I had created.
“You know what?” Niko said, pulling back to look at me with a mischievous grin. “We should celebrate both of our wins this weekend. You with your Turner Prize nomination, and me with my new position as a sports anchor. I’m taking you out.”
I smiled, my heart swelling with uncertainty and excitement. “That sounds perfect, Niko. But, I don’t know if I can do this. There are a lot of things I haven’t mentioned about myself as an artist.”
Niko raised a brow in my direction confused, I’m sure, because this was a moment that anyone else would be bouncing off the walls about. Niko took my hand into his and pulled me toward the lounge seat in my studio, then took a seat, pulling me down onto his lap.
“This is a big moment, what’s up?” he asked.
I released a sigh and then proceeded to tell him about the persona I created called Allure, how much money I actually had, and my fears of putting a face to the art I had created. He stayed silent until I finished.
“Well, I kind of figured you made good money, baby. This isn’t a damn shack; it’s far from it. Not to add salt to the wound, but you’re already in the spotlight. The moment you got into this with me, that choice was snatched away. I hate to say that shit but I say all this to say, you deserve to be recognized. Don’t let an unwarranted fear hold you back. I’ll be beside you in whatever you choose to do. Do what makes you happy.”
Niko placed two fingers beneath my chin to bring my attention to him, then he kissed me slowly before pulling back for a moment.
“Not to mention, I ain’t ever been to London. Don’t mess this up for us, baby,” he teased, getting a laugh out of me.
I nudged his shoulder, then got up, pulling him along with me. Hand in hand, we walked out of the studio and toward the kitchen, ready to share a meal and bask in the joy of our shared successes. I silently thanked my mother for her wisdom in encouraging me to share this moment with Niko. I knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, I had the support and love of my husband, and that was the greatest prize of all.
As Niko and I pulled up to my parents’ house, I sensed his nervousness. Even though he had met them briefly at our wedding reception, this was the first time he would be spending an extended period with them, getting to know them on a deeper level. I reached over and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“Don’t worry, baby,” I reassured him, my voice soft and soothing. “My parents already adore you. They’re the most open and accepting people I know.”
Niko smiled, his eyes filled with gratitude. “I know, Lore. It’s just… I wish we could have this kind of relationship with my people, too, but they don’t know how to fucking act.”
My heart ached for him, knowing the struggles he had faced with his parents and their disapproval of our unconventional path to love. I leaned over and placed a tender kiss on his cheek, a silent affirmation of my unwavering support.
As we walked up to the front door, I could already smell the mouthwatering aroma of my mother’s cooking. She had promised to make a traditional Thai dinner, a nod to her heritage, and a way to welcome Niko into the family.
The moment we stepped inside, my parents engulfed us in warm hugs. My mother, Jia, with her radiant smile and kind eyes, immediately put Niko at ease.
“Niko, it’s so wonderful to have you here,” she said, her voice filled with genuine warmth. “We’ve been looking forward to getting to know you better.”
Niko grinned, his eyes shining with appreciation. “Thank you, Jia. I’ve been excited about this dinner ever since Lore told me about your famous cooking.”
My father, Silas, stepped forward, his tall frame and strong presence a comforting sight. He placed a hand on Niko’s shoulder, a gesture of acceptance and respect.
“We’re so glad you could join us, Niko,” he said, his deep voice filled with sincerity. “We want you to feel at home here, like a true part of the family.”
Niko nodded, a look of relief and gratitude washing over his face. “Thank you, Silas. That means more to me than you know.”
As we made our way to the dining room, the conversation flowed easily. My parents asked Niko about his new job as a sports anchor, genuinely interested in his passion and accomplishments. They shared stories of their own unconventional path to love, how they had defied societal expectations to build a life together based on respect, trust, and unwavering support.
I watched as Niko’s shoulders relaxed, his laughter coming more freely as he listened to my parents’ tales. It was a side of him I usually saw when we were in private, a glimpse into the carefree, unburdened man he could be when surrounded by love and acceptance.
As we sat down to eat, my mother’s culinary masterpiece spread out before us, I couldn’t help but feel a surge of love and gratitude. The table was a feast for the senses, with vibrant colors and enticing aromas. My mother had prepared all of my favorites - Tom yum goong, pad thai, and massaman curry - each dish a testament to her skill and love.
Throughout the meal, my parents engaged Niko in conversation, asking about his hopes and dreams for the future. They listened intently, offering words of wisdom and encouragement. I could see the impact their support had on Niko, the way his eyes glistened with emotion as he realized that he had found not just a wife, but a family who embraced him wholly.
As the evening drew to a close, my parents hugged us both tightly, their love and acceptance enveloping us like a warm blanket. Niko’s smile was brighter than I had ever seen it. His eyes filled with a newfound sense of belonging.
On the drive home, Niko reached over and took my hand, his fingers intertwining with mine. “Thank you, Lore,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “For giving me this, for showing me what a real family can be.”
I smiled, my heart overflowing with love. “You deserve it, Niko. You deserve all the love and acceptance in the world. And I promise, I will always be here to remind you of that.”
As we settled into bed that night, wrapped in each other’s arms, I couldn’t help but pray that soon his relationship with his parents would heal. He needed them more than he was willing to voice aloud.