Alpha Protector (Shadow Sentinels World #3)

Chapter 19

S hannon

I could hear Stone's deep voice as he talked to someone. I didn’t know who, and whereas usually I’d be clamouring to find out, it was all I could do to keep my eyes open. Stone was right. As I ate, my father’s voice started to infiltrate my thoughts. Images of the night his cruel ‘colleague’ had raped me flashed through my mind like a macabre horror film. It was hard to say that word and admit that’s what had happened to me. It was hard to swallow past the ache in my throat, so I screwed my eyes tightly closed. All those times, over so many years. I guess I’d tried to make the mental pain, the helplessness, the feeling dirty less in my mind and buried my disgust and shame so deep I didn’t have to acknowledge anything about that time in my life.

It was utter bullshit, of course. I have never been able to bury those memories deep enough. It was both comforting and painful to know Stone saw all that and more. He was right about me being exhausted, too. Telling Stone everything, followed by the knowledge that he still wanted me, how he’d taken me in a way I’d loved, and with a level of dominance and intensity that had blown apart everything I’d known about sex, was overwhelming. Add to that the fact he was determined to pursue me and become my mate, that he’d promised to never leave me, and I was emotionally wrung out.

After he’d given me that epic orgasm, he’d given me instructions to relax in the perfumed water and to get out before it was cold. I’d been disappointed that he’d taken his impressive cock with him without letting me reciprocate, but he was right, we had time, and I was tired.

The water turned decidedly cool, and goosebumps peppered my skin. I sighed. Even though I was relaxed enough to sleep, drowning wasn’t on my list of things to do. Part of me wanted to push and see what he’d do if I defied him and stayed in the cold water, but I really didn’t fancy it. What I did want was the look of approval I’d seen in his eyes when I’d followed his instruction to eat more, to get undressed and get into the divinely hot, sweet-smelling water. And the way he purred, ‘ good girl’ ? Shit, I was definitely a slut for that.

I rolled my eyes but smiled. My shoulders were lighter than they’d been for years as I got out, dried myself on the soft towel he’d left out, and pulled on the silk nightie he’d draped over the back of a chair. The silky, silver garment caressed my skin as it fell about my thighs. I ran my fingertips over its coolness.

“Silver…” I whispered, thinking of the way his molten mercury eyes had swirled with purple as he’d fucked me more thoroughly than anyone ever had. It was hard to comprehend the depth of feelings he’d pulled from me in such a short time. I perched on the chair, biting my lip. Except it wasn’t a short time, not at all. My feelings for Stone had been growing for years. I just couldn’t drown them out with booze and meaningless sex anymore. The warmth in my chest intensified as his deep voice rumbled through the still air in the cottage, and happiness swirled in my gut. It was strange to feel it when I’d spent so long being deeply unhappy, only ever happy on the outside—even with Ava and my pack.

Not wanting to eavesdrop and incur his wrath, I padded into the cosy bedroom and climbed under the covers, groaning as warmth hit me. He must have used his magic to warm the bed.

For a while, I listened to the cadence of his voice. Just knowing he was close settled me, and I trusted he’d tell me if there was something to know about Ava. Letting the warmth roll through my muscles, my limbs relaxed. Wanting to be a little closer to him, I rolled onto my side and snuggled my face into his soft pillow, wishing he was here instead. Within moments, I was pulled into a deep, restful sleep, one where, in my dreams, strong arms pulled me close, and Stone’s deep voice whispered in my ear how proud he was of me for doing as he asked, for looking after myself and resting, where he told me he loved me and would never leave me.

The next day, I woke up alone. Disappointment dragged at my belly until I turned over and found Stone’s scent was strong on the pillow next to mine. I smiled and inhaled deeply. Whether the words I’d heard in my dreams were just that, a dream, he’d been here, watching over me as I slept.

I sighed. It would have been nice to wake up in his arms…. Wait. What? I didn’t cuddle...or did I? I flopped onto my back. It was disconcerting to learn so many new things about myself. Maybe I did cuddle. Just because I hadn’t found anyone I’d even wanted to share a bed with for a few hours didn’t mean I didn’t want to hold or be held by Stone. I stared at the ceiling. He was my mate. He’d never hurt me or abuse me; he’d never leave me or force me to do anything I didn’t want to. I jumped out of bed, suddenly desperate to see him, to feel his arms around me like they had been in my dream.

I grabbed one of his huge shirts to cover my nightie and padded out of the bedroom. He wasn’t in the kitchen. My heart rate spiked. No, he wouldn’t have left. He promised…. I shook my head, trying to calm my illogical thoughts.

“Morning, dearie…Oh.” Finchley’s eyes shone with sympathy and understanding when she saw my anxious expression. “He’s outside at the back, chopping wood for the fire.”

“Thank you,” I said, hurtling to the door.

“Think nothing of it. Food will be on the table when you're ready. And I’ll be going out.” She raised her voice as I stepped outside. “In case you need privacy,” she tagged on with a small laugh.

Privacy? I didn’t care about privacy. I just needed to wrap myself around Stone and inhale his scent.

The sound of a blade hitting wood before it cracked open guided me to him. He looked up as I rounded the corner, and I had to suck in a breath at the sight of him. Gods, he was beautiful. He wore jeans and heavy combat boots but no shirt. His silver hair was loose, and his muscles glistened with a light sheen of sweat. Tattoos gleamed on his chest and neck. I’d seen them before but never illuminated with his magic like they were now. Their purple glow only made him even more gorgeous. His silver brows drew down as he searched my face.

I didn't care if I looked desperate; I ran at him. He just had time to put the axe down before I launched myself and wrapped my arms around his neck and legs around his waist, kissing him like my life depended on it. Because it did. Only when I was surrounded by a cage of muscle and a scent uniquely his did the panic that he had left me start to subside. I didn’t let either of us come up for air, and for a while, he seemed happy to let me kiss him like he was all I needed to survive before he wrapped a hand in my hair and gently forced my head back.

His chest heaved as he searched my gaze. “Not that I’m complaining, but what’s this about?” His firm hold let me know he had no intention of letting me down, which eased the vice around my chest even more. Biting my lip, I decided honesty was the best policy—well, mostly; part of my brain still hankered for self-preservation. If he knew how much I needed him, he could exploit it…. Still, there was no need to push him away or pretend I hated him. Not anymore.

“I missed you,” I answered, unable to look away from his piercing gaze.

“I see. Then, you didn’t think I’d lied and left you alone here? Or changed my mind about us?”

My cheeks flamed, and I tried to look away.

“The truth, Butterfly,” he said, already striding back to the cottage.

Defend. Defend. “Fuck you. Let me down.”

“No. You’re about to get a lesson in believing in me. In us.”

My pussy contracted, my heart rate kicking up. “What kind of lesson?” My fingers curled into his shoulders, his hard muscles shifting as he walked. He stopped and stared into my eyes. I still couldn’t move, held by a steel grip that was as calming as it was hot. My anxiety and confusion over my contradictory thoughts were changing into something far more pleasurable as I flashed back to yesterday’s lesson.

“When I give you my word, it’s important you understand that I mean it. I will never lie to you. So I’m going to show you how very here I am with you so that the next time you panic, you’ll know, even if I’m not right beside you, I’ll always come back.”

He continued into the cottage, only grunting as Finchley grinned and said a hasty goodbye. We were in the bedroom when he let my feet hit the floor. Keeping a hand wrapped firmly in my hair, he pulled back enough that I had to look at his face as he took one of my hands and slid it down to the erection that was pressing against his zipper.

“Feel this?”

“Yes.” My hoarse voice shook with the strength of need slamming through me. Even my wolf raised her head and unfurled her body, more than interested in my reaction to him.

“Good. You must understand that I need you as much as you need me. Now, use my body to convince yourself that I mean those words. This isn’t a game. Not to me.”

His hand left my hair, and I felt suddenly bereft, even unsure. Which was an alien thing for me. I’d fucked plenty of men, but I’d never once worried about how my technique made them feel, whether sex was good for them. I used them and left. Now, I was presented with this Adonis, my gorgeous Alpha shifter-Fae soul mate, who I wanted to please more than anything, and I had no idea where to start.

I stared at his heaving chest and those beautiful tattoos and bit my bottom lip. Gods, I felt so stupid. I’d never had a lover. I didn’t know how to do this. Sex with feelings was an unknown concept to me. The mechanics were there, of course they were. I’d been forced into having sex for years before it became my choice, but Stone had taken many lovers. Would I ever measure up to any of them?

“Hey?” He lifted my chin with a gentle finger, and for some inexplicable reason, my eyes burned.

“You’ll always be good enough, my love.”

I huffed a laugh and sniffed. “How do you do that? Know what I’m thinking without me saying anything?”

He smiled and cupped my face. “Because I’ve studied every expression on your face. Fuck, I’ve studied everything about you—for years. I know what makes you tick better than you do.”

I gave him a watery smile, but my anxieties had settled at his touch. “I guess you do.”

“I do. I know your thoughts are running away with you and that you need to quiet them. If you want, I can help with that. All you have to do is follow instructions—and feel. And I’ll show you what I like.”

I groaned as he kissed me.

“Safeword?”

I stared into his eyes, so ready to do this. My embarrassment at not knowing how to please him was forgotten. “Silver.”

A sexy smirk curled his sinful mouth, possession and lust flashing in his eyes. “Good. Now, down on your knees.”

My eyes widened. He raised a brow, a wickedly hot glint in his gaze—and waited. I swallowed as heat shot through my blood. Not one part of me wanted to deny him. It had never crossed my mind that I’d like to be dominated again during sex, but I was so on board with this. I wanted to hand over the pressure of knowing what to do, pretending to be strong, making decisions—all of it. Instinctively, I knew that’s what Stone was trying to do, ease my anxiety.

I dropped to my knees, and Stone fisted his hands by his sides. “Undo my jeans.”

Mother fucking wolf. That voice….

I did, fumbling a bit with the metal button. I cursed under my breath when it was clear he’d gone commando, and the head of his heavy length jutted proudly towards his flat stomach. Salivating, I went to undo the zip.

“No.” He grasped my wrist. “No touching—yet,” he added when my face dropped. He stroked my cheek, his gaze softening. “This isn’t a punishment, Butterfly. It’s a lesson I want you to enjoy as much as I do, but if you touch me, I won’t last.”

I didn’t try to hide my satisfaction that I was affecting him as much as he was me.

“Hands on your thighs. Sit back,” he rasped, and I hurried to follow his instructions. He kicked off his boots and jeans, standing before me in all his naked glory, his tattoos emitting a low purple glow, making him look godlike as he towered above me. His cock curved upwards, thick and veiny and delicious. He grabbed the base, angling the head to my lips.

“When my cock isn’t in your mouth, and I haven’t told you not to speak, you will use your words. But my cock is going to be in your throat, so if you need me to stop, you will tap my thigh. Are we clear?”

“Yes.” I looked up at him through lowered lashes, my heart racing. I licked my lips, wanting him in my mouth, wanting to taste him so much that it was hard not to launch myself forward. His irises glowed along with his tattoos, his canines sharp and lethal. “That’s my good girl.”

My body melted at his simple praise. His thumb swept up the drop of precome on his tip, and he smeared it on my lower lip. I wanted desperately to taste it, but if he wanted me to, he’d tell me.

“Have you ever enjoyed this before?”

My heart clenched at his careful question. He didn’t ask if I’d done it before. We both knew that was a moot question.

I blinked but didn’t look away. “No.”

He pulled back his foreskin. “Then you will set the pace—to start with.” He pushed his thumb into my mouth. “Suck.”

I did, moaning as his taste hit my tongue.

“That’s it, sweetheart, taste me.”

He removed his thumb and dropped his hand back to his side, keeping a hand on his erection and holding it where I could just reach him with my tongue. My centre contracted, making my thighs slick beneath my nightie. I peered up, only more turned on by the feral hunger on his face. He raised a brow expectantly. I should hate that unspoken command, but I really didn’t. Fuck me, if it wasn’t the sexiest I’d ever felt, on my knees for this gorgeous male while he waited for me to pleasure him.

I leant forward, determined to try and make this good for us both. I’d never wanted to go down on my partners, yet I really did for him. So I went on instinct, licking a stripe from base to tip before flicking my tongue into his slit and lapping up the moisture there. I glanced up at his face. His eyes glowed, and his face and muscles were taught, but it was the guttural moan he couldn’t contain that had heat slicking my insides. My tongue licked and swirled around his head, but soon, that wasn’t enough, so I took him into my mouth. I won’t lie, he was big. But I worked him in, inch by inch, the groans he gave spurring me on.

“Gods, that feels so good.” His voice was deeper and sexier than ever. I peered up at him as I drew back, his hooded gaze burning with lust as I swallowed him down again. As if he couldn’t help himself, his hips canted forward, making me gag. His whole body froze. “Shit, Sorry…” he rasped, pulling back. “Touch me. Use your hands to show me how you want it, how far you can take me.”

I knew he didn’t want to hurt me or provoke any bad memories, but damn if I didn’t want him to use my mouth like he meant it. I didn’t want him holding back like I was delicate enough to break at the first sign of his true nature. Fuck that. Suddenly, watching him lose control was my goal. I grabbed his hips and dug my fingernails into his buttocks, pulling him forward as my mouth took his length. After a few passes and my fingernails digging into his hard backside, he got the message.

“You want me to fuck your mouth?”

My nostrils flared, and I tugged him forward harder in answer.

“Fuuuck,” he groaned and slipped a hand over my head, grabbing my hair and holding me still. I growled my dissatisfaction and snarled up at him. His hold tightened, his chest heaving. “Remember, you tap my leg—hard, if you need me to stop because, fuck me, Butterfly, I won’t be holding back. Not when you’ve given me permission.”

His hand allowed me enough control to move a little, but there was no denying who was setting the pace. He started slower and without much force, probably giving me time to get used to him, but that only frustrated me more, and I was soon fighting his hold on my head and pulling him deeper. It was hot as all hell, his moans and curses spurring me on until I was yanking his hips forward harder and demanding more. His curses became louder, and he chanted something in Fae under his breath over and over. I had no idea what it was. All I cared about was how fucking good this felt, making him lose his famous control. His hips thrust forward hard, forcing his length down my throat. I did my best to relax my throat muscles and he drove his cock into my mouth until sweat was pouring from us, and my pussy was throbbing and slick.

“Oh, gods, Butterfly, I’m going to come. If you don’t want that, tap my thigh.”

I kept my hands in place, holding his flexing buttocks, and pulled him into me harder, sucking as if my life depended on it. With my unspoken demand, he thrust his other hand into my hair and tightened his hold, completely in control now. I moaned as he fucked my mouth until the warm salty tang of his release filled me. And I swallowed every drop. In the back of my mind, I’d wondered if it would disgust me as much as all the previous times. It didn’t. It was nothing like that. I loved it. All of it, from the way I felt more in control and sexy on my knees than I ever had while making this mighty Alpha moan and shudder through his release to the way he gripped my hair just the right side of too painful.

Slowly, his hips stopped, and I reluctantly let him go. But before I could mourn his loss, he lifted me into his arms and kissed me.

“Holy Mother Wolf, that was…amazing. You look so fucking gorgeous on your knees with my cock in your mouth.” He kissed me again, his tongue owning me. “Damn, I love the taste of me in your mouth.”

With a possessive light in his eyes, he walked across the room, lowering me onto the bed. A feral snarl curled his lips, revealing his long canines. My gaze snagged on them. So sharp and beautiful…I wanted them in my neck, I wanted him to make me his, and the need to mark him as mine, slammed into me, my wolf howling, but I knew I wasn’t ready for that yet. No matter how much she wanted it, my wolf wasn’t strong enough to mate yet. She was getting there, but until I could shift again, I couldn’t mark my mate.

Stone pinched my nipple, bringing me back to him. “Now it’s my turn. So hold on because there will be no room for thoughts of anything but me.”

And damn, was he right. Before long, his talented tongue drove me wild, and I was crying out his name.