Chapter 6
“If you push that bit of sausage around your plate one more time, I shall summon a vicar to perform an exorcism on your beleaguered soul. Perhaps Templeton is available.”
Tuck looked up from his breakfast plate to find Liam appearing to be deep in the morning papers. Obviously his cousin wasn’t for he hadn’t failed to notice Tuck’s unsettled state. They were in the breakfast room of Ardley House, having both risen at an unusually early hour as the previous night’s festivities included only a musicale, which had blessedly ended at a reasonable hour.
Tuck set his fork aside. “I’m sorry, cousin. My mind’s rather full this morning.”
Full of Eloise. Full of her taste. Full of her smell. Full of her.
It had been nearly a week since that night in the courtyard, yet it felt as though it had been only hours ago that he had touched her, that he had nearly taken her. Betrayal cut through him, and he pushed his plate away.
Liam folded the paper on the table beside his own empty plate. “Is this because of Grimsby’s offer?”
It was a moment before Tuck remembered of what his cousin spoke. Grimsby’s offer to help Tuck find a benefactor.
“I’ve been through your copy of Debrett’s, and I’m afraid I’m none the wiser,” Tuck said.
Liam’s brow wrinkled. “I can’t imagine. I’ve never looked at the thing,” he said, folding his paper and setting it aside to lean forward. “I have a hunch Debrett’s is not what’s occupying such space in your thoughts this morning.” He paused, but Tuck didn’t speak, knowing his cousin well enough to understand the man wasn’t finished. And he wasn’t. “I think the murkiness of your mind has more to do with Lady Eloise and what happened at the Serpentine last week.”
Tuck sat up, tossing aside his napkin. “I have apologized for that. I didn’t expect a dog to send your perspective bride into the lake.”
There was much more for which Tuck should apologize, but instead of speaking of it, he let it burn a hole through his gut.
Liam waved his words away just as he’d done every time Tuck had tried to apologize in the past several days since that affair on the Serpentine.
“You know I don’t blame you for that. Lady Eloise was unharmed, and I got to act the knight gallant by escorting her home.” Liam’s smile was self-satisfied. “It couldn’t have gone any better, I should think.” He seemed to consider his words before continuing. “I think there’s something else about the lady that is plaguing you this morning, cousin. Do you wish to speak of it?”
Tuck saw the opportunity to change the subject and took it. “I’ve been in London for more than a month now, and I have zero prospects for a benefactor.”
Liam blinked. “Is that all?”
Tuck pushed back his chair, suddenly needing to stand. “Is that all?” he repeated. “That is the very reason I came to London in the first place.” He strode over to the windows at the end of the table and peered out on the street. It was still relatively quiet at this hour, a single hackney traveling toward the crossroad. “I need to secure a benefactor before the summer, or I’ll never have time to prepare for the expedition.” He turned around to look at his cousin. “I’ll miss another season of the aurora borealis if I don’t find a funder soon.”
Liam leaned back in his chair, propping one foot on the opposite knee as he steepled his fingers together, elbows resting on the arms of his chair. “This is my fault. I’ve been distracting you with my search for a bride.”
Tuck felt the instant sting of guilt. “It’s not that,” he said. “You know I’m happy to help you in any way I can.” He stopped there, feeling the guilt grow inside of him and morph into something else entirely.
That sick feeling of betrayal he hadn’t been able to shake since that first ball of the season, the one where he’d realized his feelings for his cousin’s prospective bride were not innocent. That alone had been enough, but now he’d acted on those feelings.
“I know that, but I shouldn’t allow your altruism to get in the way of your endeavor.”
Tuck was truly going to be sick at the word altruism.
Was it altruism that had him kissing Eloise? That had him holding her hands in a very public setting where had they been caught the scandal would have not only ruined Eloise but likely Liam by connection? By taking her the way he had against a tree of all things? Was that what altruism was?
He swallowed and paced back to the windows. If they had been caught…
It would have been over then. He would have been forced to wed Eloise to save her reputation, and his cousin would never forgive him. How could Tuck have been so stupid? He could never let such a slip happen again.
He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I guess I just thought it would be easier to secure a benefactor.” He turned back to Liam who still lounged in his chair. “Isn’t the prospect of understanding how solar storms affect modern communication an important field to explore?”
Liam blinked. “I’m sorry. I fear I may have fallen asleep there.”
Tuck frowned, and Liam laughed, dropping his feet to the floor and standing.
“I don’t think it’s the topic, cousin,” he said, making his way over to the windows to stand next to Tuck. “I think it’s your approach to it.”
“You know I won’t speak of Harrison to potential benefactors,” Tuck said almost defensively.
A line appeared between Liam’s eyes. “I know, cousin. I know. What makes you think I would suggest that route of bargaining again?”
Tuck licked his lips and looked out the window. “I told Lady Eloise about Harrison.”
Liam was quiet for so long Tuck was forced to turn his gaze away from the window. He found his cousin smiling a curious smile he quickly snuffed out when Tuck looked at him.
“You did?” Liam asked. “And how did she take it?”
“Graciously,” Tuck said, trying very hard not to remember how she had taken his hand into hers like she meant to comfort him forever. “She will make a good duchess. I can attest to that. You’ve chosen well.” Each word was like a razor blade slicing through his throat.
“Did she perhaps suggest what I’ve been suggesting? That you tell potential benefactors of your personal reasons for your research?”
Tuck forced out the truth. “Yes.”
Liam laughed, the sound light and carefree. “I thought she would. Lady Eloise seems the practical sort, don’t you think? She’d probably be a good expedition companion.” Liam paused, his head titling as he thought. “Can you imagine her facing down a polar bear? I should think the polar bear would run for its life.”
Tuck stared, unblinking at his cousin. “Lady Eloise cannot go on expedition. She’s a lady.”
Liam frowned. “A lady? Were you not there when she was thrown into the lake by that dog? She acted as though it were nothing more taxing than having to compile a menu for a dinner.” Liam shook his head. “She may be better at expeditions than you, cousin.”
Tuck digested this, trying to pair his feelings for Eloise with the image his cousin conjured with his words. When Tuck thought of Eloise, he saw a woman he very much desired, one he wanted in a way he’d never felt before, a woman with whom he thought he could build a life. But what Liam was suggesting was a…partner.
“I suppose we shall never find out,” Tuck said.
That curious expression Tuck had witnessed of late appeared on Liam’s face again, but his cousin spoke before Tuck could question it. “What did Lady Eloise have to say of Harrison’s death?”
Tuck looked back out the window. “Much the same as you have said. That I wouldn’t be bartering Harrison’s memory. That I would be ensuring his death wasn’t meaningless.”
Tuck could feel Liam nod beside him. “She’s intelligent too. Hmm.” He paused, and Tuck knew the next sentence would be self-congratulatory. “I am an incredible judge of character.”
Tuck turned, a smile already on his lips at knowing his cousin so well, but the smile vanished as soon as he saw the look of confusion on Liam’s face.
“What is it now?”
Liam shook his head. “I’m not sure it’s important, but it’s something that’s bothered me since you first told me of your idea to launch an expedition to the northern climes.”
Tuck straightened. “If you think to dissuade me, we’ve been over this. Spitsbergen is not hostile as long as one prepares properly. Even now there is talk of holiday tours traveling there. It’s not like?—”
Liam held up a hand, cutting him off. “It’s not the location that bothers me, but rather how you speak of the expedition itself. You make it sound as though you plan to conduct this endeavor on your own.”
Tuck shifted from one foot to the other, suddenly uncomfortable by his cousin’s probing. The thing was Liam was a good judge of character, and he was also insightful, analyzing a situation in a deeper and more complex way than Tuck would. It was why Tuck had accepted his help in coming to London in the first place. He knew Liam would be a good ally in his quest for a benefactor. He just hadn’t expected his scrutiny to be so acute.
Liam went on. “You might hear of explorers going it alone, but the truth of the matter is they always have a team with them. Particularly a partner they can rely on. Livingstone had Oswell. Burton had Speke. Who will you have, Tuck?”
Tuck felt the unsettling feeling dissipate. “I’m not an explorer. I’m a scientist. They are hardly the same thing.”
Liam shook his head. “That’s merely semantics, cousin. I think you know that.” His tone was soft and careful, unlike his usual jovial nature, and Tuck felt the weight of it.
Liam was right. Calling himself by another title didn’t make the situation any different. He was headed into an extreme climate in a hostile terrain. He would be foolish to attempt it alone. And yet, he had always thought of this expedition as something he must do alone, for Harrison.
“I suppose I hadn’t thought of it in those terms. Of course I’ll have the usual support team with me. Porters and the like.”
“And will you speak to your porters about the doubts that haunt you when the darkness comes?” Liam asked, stilling Tuck in his nervous shifting. “I’ve heard tales that the sun sets that far north for months at a time. How will you cope with such darkness? Will your porters comfort you? Assure you everything will be all right?”
“I will remind myself that the sun will rise again.” He tried for a smile, but Liam wasn’t joking. Tuck sobered. “I realize you have a point, cousin, but I’m not sure I have the luxury of indulging such thinking. I don’t even have a benefactor as of yet, let alone a partner.”
A strange thing occurred then. It was like a mirage unraveling before his eyes. When he spoke the word partner, his brain conjured the image of Eloise that night in the courtyard, her head tilted to the sky. He swallowed and forced the thought away. He’d seen the look on her face that day on the lakeshore. The envy that was clearly writ on her face as she surveyed the duchess and her brood. Eloise would have that. With Liam.
Liam’s face opened finally, and Tuck felt the weight of his cousin’s scrutiny lift. For now.
“Well then, we should see about remedying that. Today, in fact.” Liam clapped his hands together as if a decision had been made and turned toward the door. “I’d like to take a ride in the park before we leave. If you don’t mind, I shall leave you to push your sausage around your plate on your own.”
“Leave?” Tuck called after Liam before his cousin could escape. “Where exactly are we to be going?”
Liam turned, that full smile once more on his face. “To a garden party.”
* * *
“Eloise,we are all well aware of your delightful personality, but I would find it much more enjoyable if you were to refrain from entering any bodies of water whilst we attend the Brocklehurst garden party.” Her mother arched a single reddish-brown eyebrow. “Do you think that is something you might achieve?”
Eloise sat across from her mother in the Stoke Bruerne carriage while they made their way the short distance to the Brocklehurst home. A dip in the road rocked the carriage enough to have Eloise’s shoulder going into Annie’s who sat beside her. She glanced at her sister to find the woman attempting to hold back a smile.
Eloise looked properly at her sister. She hadn’t seen Annie so animated in…well, more than a year. Perhaps even longer than that. A spark of curiosity wavered inside of her, but she had no time to reflect on it as Annie spoke.
“Really Mother, you mustn’t think of it like that. I think the Duke of Ardley was only too happy to sweep in and save Eloise from herself. You know how men like to think we need their protection.” Annie stopped trying to hide her smile, and it was clearly visible now as she faced Eloise. “I think Eloise has rather endeared herself to the man. We should expect a proposal within the month, I should think.”
Their mother sat up. “Do you really think so? I would have thought drowning oneself in the Serpentine was off putting.”
“Do you know I’m sitting right here?” Eloise said, looking between the two of them. “And I didn’t need rescuing,” she added with a mutter.
Heat came to her cheeks so unexpectedly she looked out the window to hide her face. She remembered Tuck’s arms around her as he settled his coat on her shoulders, the way he’d held on just a little too long, how she’d wanted him to keep holding her.
And then later…in the courtyard…
“Well be that as it may, I think it would be best to present yourself in a more favorable manor this afternoon. You don’t want to be getting a reputation, do you?” Her mother’s eyebrows crept together accusatorially.
Eloise had looked back at her mother when she’d begun to speak, but at this, Eloise looked away again, the heat climbing up her neck.
If only her mother knew what kind of reputation Eloise was in danger of acquiring.
Really, she must stop kissing the man. Why did she do that? It seemed whenever they were alone she couldn’t stop herself from…from…from assaulting him. That night in the courtyard had clearly been her doing. She had touched him first.
But he hadn’t stopped her.
God, the way he had lifted her, pinned her against that tree, licked her?—
“Eloise, are you all right? You look like you’re about to be sick.” Her mother’s voice was pitched with concern. “You know Lady Heyworth told me Rosemary is already talking about you, and it’s not in favorable terms. You’re not going to embarrass me again today, are you?”
Rosemary Hayes-Martin, Viscountess Bowes, was Eloise’s mother’s arch nemesis. Eloise wished that were an exaggeration, but sadly, it was not. Nancy and Viscountess Bowes had been competing against each other for some unknown prize since Eloise could remember. The current situation on the Marriage Mart only intensified the rivalry.
Eloise tugged at the high collar of her gown. “It’s just this incessant rocking. I’m afraid I didn’t eat much before we left, and my stomach is quite sensitive, you know.”
“Your stomach is perfectly fine,” Annie said beside her.
Eloise glared.
Annie had caught Eloise returning to the library after her midnight rendezvous in the courtyard with Tuck, and the incident had likely sprouted some suspicion Annie would never overtly poke but would take great pleasure in teasing. Eloise communicated her annoyance with her eyes, but Annie only smiled that soft smile she had when she knew exactly how uncomfortable she was making her little sister.
If only Gwen was here.
Not for the first time did she miss her older sister. Gwen would know what to do in this terrible situation. Gwen always knew what to do.
The carriage eased to a stop, and her mother shooed them out before the tiger had even opened the door.
The afternoon was lovely, and Eloise stepped from the carriage into a bath of lukewarm sunshine. She hated it immediately, raising a hand to shield her eyes from the sun even though it was hardly blinding. It was a typical English spring day, enough for comfortability but not enough to overtax one’s senses, blast it. At least if the weather were troubling she’d have something else to focus on.
And not the fact that Tuck was walking into the Brocklehurst gardens a mere ten steps ahead of them, Ardley at his side.
“Oh my, I think our timing could not have been better. Eloise, you must?—”
“I forgot my wrap,” she squeaked, diving back into the carriage.
She sat down heavily on the bench she had just vacated, berating herself for her weakness. They had a plan. She would help him make contacts in London. He would shower Ardley with tales of her virtue. It was a plan.
So why did the very sight of him have parts of her coiling she didn’t know could coil? Why did her heart start to thumping? God, were her hands shaking? This was ludicrous.
“You didn’t bring a shawl.” Eloise looked to the open door where Annie stood waiting, her expression bland. “Care to tell me what’s really going on?”
Eloise pushed back her shoulders. “No. I do not.”
Annie tilted her head. “Do you think it will offend me?”
“No,” Eloise said, gathering her skirts to climb back out of the carriage. She stopped on the pavement next to her sister. “I can’t tell you what is happening because it will make me look bad.”
With that, she lifted her nose and left her sister standing on the pavement. She didn’t miss her sister’s stifled laugh, however.
The Brocklehurst’s garden was teeming with the best the ton had to offer, and Eloise had expected no less. It bolstered her resolve, and she found herself stepping more assuredly into the orchid tent, scanning the crowd as she went. There were any number of people to whom she could introduce Tuck. It seemed this plan had a far greater chance of working.
Especially because when she stepped from the tent she ran nearly directly into both the Duke of Grimsby and Tuck himself.
“Lady Eloise,” Grimsby said.
She stopped short, heard Grimsby’s greeting, but her eyes went immediately to Tuck. She forced herself to think, a smile coming to her lips more from practice than actual thought.
“Your Grace, what a pleasure to see you. I trust you are well.” She turned to Tuck, prayed her expression didn’t change. “Mr. Ryan, very nice to see you again.”
“It’s an honor, Lady Eloise.” Tuck bowed then of all things.
She wanted to look at Grimsby. Could he sense the awkwardness in that very moment?
“Lady Eloise, is your sister in attendance? I should like to ask after her wellbeing.”
It was a moment before she registered what Grimsby was saying. “Annie? Oh yes, of course. You’ll probably find her in the Brocklehurst library.” She couldn’t stop the frown her words conjured. The library? God, she was nearly declaring the truth right there. Telling Grimsby exactly how Annie had caught her in the midst of her scandalous rendezvous. “She’s spending an awful lot of time in libraries lately. Perhaps she’s facing a slump in her reading material and is looking for inspiration.” The lie rolled easily from her lips. She had no idea why Annie was in the library that night. She only knew it had nearly exposed her.
“The library?”
She nodded. “Yes, quite. I’ve heard the Brocklehurst library is extensive. More than likely that’s where she’s wandered off to.” After Eloise had left her standing on the pavement, but she didn’t say that bit.
“Thank you, Lady Eloise. Tuck, I assume you’re confident in your next steps with Renshaw?”
At the name, it was like a fog lifted from her brain. “The Earl of Renshaw?” She looked to Tuck. “Do you need to speak with the man? I’d be happy to provide an introduction. He’s a dear old friend of my grandmother Bitsy’s.” It took everything in her to keep her tone neutral, keep her eyes from changing, prevent any hint that she and Tuck had discussed this very thing in a courtyard at midnight.
“An introduction?” Did Tuck’s voice wobble just the smallest bit?
She eyed him, willing him to keep it together for just a little longer, and in doing so, caught sight of the man in question sitting on a bench behind Tuck. “Grandmother Bitsy is with him right now. Let us go over, and I’ll introduce you.”
She moved before Tuck could respond, and he was forced to follow or snub her in the middle of a packed social event. He followed as she’d expected him to. Carefully she glanced back to see Grimsby had moved on toward the house.
“This is exactly what we talked about,” she said, keeping her voice low. “I help you, and you help me.”
When his eyes met hers, they were full of heat, and she remembered what they had been doing the last time they’d spoken those words. She swallowed and looked straight ahead.
“Grandmother,” she said when they reached the bench where Grandmother Bitsy and the Earl of Renshaw were seated. “Grandmother, you’ve met the Honorable Mr. Tucker Ryan, but I had hoped to introduce him to your friend.”
Grandmother Bitsy looked up, blinking. “Is that you, Nancy?”
Eloise shifted so she blocked the sun from her grandmother’s eyes.
Her grandmother’s expression relaxed as she smiled in recognition. “Oh, Tippy, darling, this is my youngest granddaughter. She’s the one I was telling you about. The one who is always getting into trouble.”
“Grandmother.” Eloise hadn’t meant to speak the word so harshly. It was simply a reaction to her grandmother’s rather unfair accusation. “I don’t always get in trouble,” Eloise added softly.
Her grandmother laughed and placed a hand on the earl’s arm. It was such a casual gesture but one which spoke volumes, and Eloise wondered just how good a friend the earl was. “You see, Tippy, dear. She wouldn’t be so quick to defend herself if she didn’t know it were true.”
The earl laughed now, his head going back as he did so. The sunlight caught his face, and she was able to see him properly. He was somewhere around her grandmother’s age with a nearly bald head rimmed by tufts of gray hair. More hair came out of his ears and poked in odd angles from his eyebrows than he had on his head. He had an overlarge nose with a slight bend at the end that made his face look more like a caricature than an actual face, and she found herself drawn to it. He was clean-shaven and smelled of something herbal like basil. Nothing fancy, which matched his attire. His clothes were several years out of date but well-kept as if the latest fashions mattered little to him. Or perhaps it was simply because the rumors about Renshaw were true. The man was utterly broke. Still, he was a good connection for Tuck to have.
He patted Grandmother Bitsy’s hand. “Oh Bitty, dear, you mustn’t convince me. A granddaughter of yours is sure to carry your penchant for the daring.”
Eloise looked between Renshaw and her grandmother, her curiosity stoked. The woman had married at eighteen, had one son before her husband died before the age of thirty, and she’d spent much of her life a happy and wealthy widow. She had spent the rest of her years doing exactly as she pleased. Eloise knew some of her grandmother’s stories, but the earl’s comment left her wondering just how much she didn’t know.
She let their laughter die out before speaking again. “Grandmother, about my friend. I had hoped?—”
Grandmother Bitsy waved her off. “Oh yes, yes, child. I heard you.” She turned to Renshaw. “Tippy, dear, this man is my Eloise’s friend, the one I told you about. He’s the man my granddaughter is going to marry.”