Chapter 25 #4
Selene gave Natalie a puzzled look. Where Selene was gripped by tension, knowing their plans could go awry at any moment, Natalie appeared not to have a care in the world. Then again, she’d just come back from the dead. After that, maybe nothing felt stressful.
Selene shook her head, trying her best to be lighthearted. “I hope not, because if they’re late, we’re not escaping.”
She glanced at the stone wall again, then at the forest at their backs. Caught between a rock and a green place? A rock and a bark place? Ugh. All her ideas of potential jokes were awful. They needed to get out of the estate. Now.
“Natalie, can I ask you something?” Allie spoke timidly.
“Always.” Natalie gave her an encouraging smile.
“What was it like?” Allie blurted. “Dying, I mean?”
Selene turned at Allie’s question, her fear about being caught temporarily allayed by the somberness of Allison’s query.
Natalie didn’t balk, tapping her lip with her index finger. “I don’t exactly know how to answer that, Allie. Well, I can tell you that Marley made it easy. It didn’t hurt at all, but it wasn’t quite like falling asleep either. I felt both heavy and light, and I was . . . gone. No longer here.”
“You went somewhere else?” Allie asked, eyes wide.
“Yes,” Natalie replied. “But that wasn’t a surprise. I’ve crossed the veil before.”
“You have?” Selene frowned at her friend. “You died before?”
“No, no,” Natalie said. “But I’ve visited the astral plane. Though admittedly, it’s different when you’re not a tourist.”
Astral plane? Selene blinked in disbelief at Natalie’s casual mention of alternate spaces of existence.
Just when I thought I was adjusting to magic being part of my life, she thought irritably. This will never feel normal to me.
A sudden buzzing had them all spinning in the direction of the sound, and Selene sagged against the wall with relief when Marley appeared from among the trees.
Marley beamed at Natalie. “Hey, you. Remember me?”
“Hey yourself,” Natalie replied with a wink. “And of course I do.”
“Not to be rude, but we don’t have a minute to waste,” Marley said. “I don’t think I was seen, but it’s impossible to be sure.”
“Allie first,” Selene told him. Natalie nodded in agreement.
Marley didn’t give Allie a chance to weigh in. He scooped her up and zoomed over the wall. Less than a minute passed, and he was back.
“Now you,” Selene said to Natalie. “No arguing.”
“Love you,” Natalie said, lifting her arms so Marley could grab her around the waist, and they were gone.
Selene closed her eyes.
Natalie was alive. They were going to make it. She’d never believed in miracles, but she did now.
The hairs on the back of her neck stood up, and her heartbeat stuttered. Her eyes flew open.
No. Please no.
She spun around, searching the forest. Because she felt it. Felt him.
Fenris was here. He’d come after them.
Even as she sent her plea to the universe that Fen hadn’t pursued her, she longed for him. She craved him, no matter the consequences.
Selene waited for him to step from behind one of the ancient oaks, knowing she’d falter when his accusing gaze pierced her.
Maybe he’ll understand. He changed his mind about Natalie. Maybe he’ll understand why I had to save her. Even when it meant betraying him.
The buzz of Marley’s wings came from behind her.
“Ready?” he asked as his arms came around her.
“Wait.”
Alarm filled Marley’s voice. “Selene, we can’t—”
“I only need a minute,” she told him. “Please, Marley. Come back in one minute. And if I’m not here, go. Promise me you’ll go.”
His eyes widened. “What are you doing?”
“Please, Marley.”
She could see his hesitation, his fear. But he listened, rising to the top of the wall and hovering there. He wasn’t leaving, but he was giving her a measure of privacy. And that was all she needed.
Maybe she should have felt foolish because there was no guarantee anyone was listening. But her heart urged her to confess.
“Fenris, if you’re here, thank you,” Selene told the forest. “You tried to spare Natalie. I know what that cost you, and I will be grateful for what you did with every breath, every heartbeat, for the rest of my life.”
She fell silent, hoping and fearing in equal measure that Fen would emerge from the shadows. When he didn’t, she spoke again.
“I need you to know I’m sorry for running. Because that’s what I’m doing. Running away.”
Her voice began to tremble, and she paused to take a deep breath, then said, “But I’m not running away from you. Though I know that sounds like a lie, I promise it’s the truth. And I promise it’s not forever.”
She hesitated because what she had to say next felt like the greatest leap of faith she’d ever taken.
“It can’t be forever because it’s impossible to feel the way I do about you.
I can’t—I won’t live a life without the possibility that when the time is right, you’ll be with me.
That we’ll be together. But not today. Or tomorrow.
But someday. Because I love you, Fenris. I love you.”
The buzz of Marley’s wings sounded at her back.
“We can’t wait any longer, Selene.”
She didn’t turn to look at him, but she nodded. Marley scooped her up. Her feet left the ground.
Neither man nor wolf burst out of the forest to chase her.
Then they were over the wall and landing beside Marley’s van.
“Hurry, Aunt Sel!” Allie grabbed Selene’s arms and tugged her into the back seat.
Marley zipped in behind her and slammed the door shut. “Go, Tim! Go!”
As the van sped away from the estate, from Avondale, Selene didn’t look back. She couldn’t. Not when she’d left her heart behind.