Amazing Grace

Chapter 25

A week later, the time had arrived for the first meeting of Busy Bodies. There had been a little response to the Facebook posts and a few people had put their name down on the list that Ruth was keeping on a clipboard at the café. To support Grace in her new venture, Belinda had very kindly offered for Archie to go to hers for tea, which he was really excited about, so Ruth and Grace had been at the café since five that evening setting up everything, and Ruth had spent the day making low-calorie snacks in the hope that people might like to order some. The start time on the poster was seven thirty and at seven fifteen the doorbell tinkled and two ladies popped their head round the door asking if they were in the right place. They introduced themselves as Gill and Maureen.

Grace took down their details while Ruth got the scales ready. She asked Gill to pop on first while Maureen went to the ladies’, and when she’d finished it was Maureen’s turn. Maureen was about to get on the scales when she shrieked ‘Wait!’ and proceeded to take off her earrings, her necklace, her glasses and her jumper. They all laughed when she said how she’d definitely weigh less without them. Gill muttered, ‘Perhaps if you hadn’t just shoved a jam doughnut in your face when I came to pick you up, that might have helped too.’ Ruth and Grace grinned at each other.

Their weights were written on their record cards, which were then stored in a lockable box. By this time, Beryl and Alma, two ladies who looked to be in their early seventies, had trickled through the door and joined the queue. They all said how delighted they were at how quickly they were weighed and their details taken. A young man, who introduced himself as Ben, was the next to sheepishly come through the door, asking if he was in the right place for the slimming club, followed by a married couple, Dawn and Dave. The last lady who entered the café had a figure to die for and Grace couldn’t understand for the life of her why she was even there.

Everyone seemed really friendly and after the weighing, Ruth went round the group, offering the healthy snacks. There were murmurs of ‘delicious’ and ‘this can’t possibly be slimming’ and ‘oh my God, I need the recipe for this’.

Ruth tapped on the side of her glass with a spoon to get everyone’s attention.

‘We just wanted to say thank you for coming along tonight to our little club. Grace came up with the idea, I had a venue and we both wanted to lose some weight so it was the perfect combination. Our promise to you is that it won’t be painful; you won’t have to queue for ages while other people get weighed, because we don’t have the room for massive numbers. You can come and be weighed and leave straight away if you want, or you can stay for a group chat about anything we’ve tried that might help others. You won’t get told off if you’ve eaten something you shouldn’t have.’ She looked at Maureen at this point and raised her eyebrows. ‘You know you’ve done it, so you don’t need someone else to tell you.’ Everyone in the room laughed and visibly relaxed.

Grace spoke next. ‘This is a club that we want you to enjoy coming to, not dread. So if there’s something you think would be a great addition, do let us know.’

The slim lady coughed and raised her hand. ‘How about those of us who want to maybe go for a group walk? I’d love to go out for a walk in the evenings but feel daft and not particularly safe on my own. I’m Bev, by the way.’ She had one of those faces that completely transformed when she smiled.

‘What a great idea. We’d definitely be up for that, wouldn’t we, Dawn?’ Dave asked his wife, and she nodded.

‘Definitely, I’d love that. What if we all shared recipes for something we’ve cooked that we think would be worth sharing with the other people here too?’

‘Another fabulous idea,’ agreed Ruth. ‘And if you wanted to, I could even cook us something for tea on the night of the club which you could either eat here or take home for just a small charge.’

Again, there were oohs and aahs all round and lots of nodding heads.

‘And what if you set up a Facebook private page that we could all be in, so that we can all support and motivate each other and share recipes and ideas?’ Ben suggested. There was a unanimous nod of heads.

‘I always feel awful at this type of group,’ explained Bev. ‘Because I’m reasonably slim, people wonder why I’d like to lose weight – but it’s not about how you look, it’s about how you feel inside. Perhaps this group would benefit from doing some things to help us raise our self-esteem and confidence? Maybe we could ask some guest speakers to come along to help us.’

Once again, there were yesses all round and Ruth and Grace looked at each other and grinned. Monica would be the perfect choice for a guest speaker. They had hoped that their idea of a small local slimming support group would be a good one, but now they knew it was going to be a resounding success.

Beryl came over and thanked Ruth and Grace for a great evening.

‘Ladies, can I just say that I have thoroughly enjoyed myself tonight. Since my Keith died, I’ve not gone out much. Everyone I know is in a couple and I feel like a spare part, and I’d much rather stay in and read a good book anyway. I feel like I’ve already made some lovely new friends and I’m really looking forward to the next one. Thank you so much for giving me a new lease of life.’ She held one of Grace’s hands and kissed both her and Ruth’s cheeks. She practically skipped out of the door. Grace felt her heart swell at the thought that they’d been able to create something that was quite life-changing for someone else.

Maureen and Gill waved as they left and Grace laughed as she heard Gill say, ‘Shall we just get a cone of chips on the way home then, instead of a full portion, Maur?’ She knew that these two were going to be a lot of hard work but a lot of fun, even if they didn’t lose any weight!

As the last member of the first group shut the door on their way out, Ruth high-fived Grace as she said, ‘God, I think I love you, Grace! Don’t we make an awesome team? Roll on next week!’

Ruth and Grace cleared away all the plates and put the chairs up on the tables. It was a habit of Ruth’s that she’d got from her days of being a teaching assistant years ago and she insisted that it made it easier for the floor to be cleaned the next morning. It was time for home; they were both exhausted but still buzzing from such a brilliant evening.

‘You’re pretty awesome, Gracie, do you know that?’ Ruth flung her arm round Grace’s shoulder as they walked towards their cars.

‘You’re not so bad yourself, gorgeous!’ Grace replied as she kissed her on the cheek and waved goodnight.

* * *

The next day the shrill ringing of the telephone interrupted Grace and Archie from making low-fat flapjacks as a tester for Busy Bodies. It was her father.

‘Grace, I have something very important to tell you and I really hope you are sitting down.’

Lord above, she thought, her heart starting to race in her chest. ‘What on earth has happened?’

‘I’m going on a cruise with Gladys. I really hope you don’t mind, but we will be sharing a cabin. I would never want or be able to replace your mother,’ he blurted out, ‘but I have realised that it is nice to have company in my twilight years and that I think your mother would want me to not waste a moment longer being miserable and wishing she were here.’

Grace stifled a giggle of relief. ‘Oh! That sounds good. Tell me all about it.’

With the relief evident in his voice, he told her all about the cruise. A few of the residents from the retirement village were going and some of the staff were going along too, to be on hand should they be needed. Grace thought it sounded a wonderful idea and realised that it must have taken a lot for her dad to have plucked up the courage to make this call.

‘I am happy for you, Dad,’ she said. ‘And for what it’s worth, I’m sure you’re right and that if Mum were here she’d be gallivanting around the world with a sugar daddy so I reckon you should go for it!’ They said goodbye and hung up.

Despite her words of encouragement to her dad, Grace felt a pang of sadness when she put down the phone. She knew that no one would ever replace her mum. How could they? While Gladys was a lovely lady, she was very different to the vibrant, beautiful, vivacious lady that her mum was when she was taken way before her time. While these days she had wonderful memories when she thought of her mum, she was always going to be sad for the future they’d never have together; sad for Archie that he wouldn’t know how it felt to have a proper nanna who adored him.

Grief is such a strange thing, she reflected. One minute you feel perfectly fine, then the smallest trigger can devastate you all over again. A song, some words, a place you drive past, a memory, a voice, or the sight of someone who reminds you so vividly of the person you’ve lost, and all of a sudden you are back in a moment when you realise they are no longer here.

This was all on her mind when the doorbell rang, but her thoughts paused when she saw Mark standing there. Quietly, he asked whether he could come in and have a word. Archie appeared behind Grace, delighted to see his dad unexpectedly on his doorstep.

‘Hi, Dad!’ he said, grabbing him in for a hug.

Grace smiled at the love Archie had for his father, and after Archie had greeted Mark, she told him to go upstairs and get ready for bed.

She took Mark through into the kitchen and she stood as he made himself comfortable sitting at the breakfast bar. Realising that he didn’t look like he had any intention of going for a while, she sat down opposite him. He started talking about what a lovely sunny day it had been and he didn’t seem to want to get to the point of why he had come.

‘Well, what did you want to talk about, Mark?’ she asked. ‘I presume you haven’t come to talk about the weather.’ She was starting to feel braver when speaking to him.

‘I’ve been thinking about us, Gracie. I have a serious proposition for you.’

Grace raised an eyebrow and thought, This is going to be interesting.

‘Lorraine is going away soon for a week with her friends on a hen party. I’ve decided that you and I should use that time to see if we can put the past behind us to build our family again. We, as Archie’s parents, have a duty to our son to be family, and I know that you, as his mother, would want to do what’s right for him. It’s only ever been you, Grace. I wouldn’t be with Lorraine now if you hadn’t kicked me out.

‘It makes sense to do it while Lorraine’s away, then she won’t know about it and if it doesn’t work out, we can go back to how things are now and she need never know.’

Grace laughed out loud. A short, sharp laugh. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

‘So, let me get this right. You want us to get back together for a fortnight while your girlfriend is away to see if we can make it work out? If it does, you’ll leave Lorraine, if it doesn’t, you won’t tell her that it even happened. Is that what you are saying?’

‘Yes, that’s right,’ Mark said blithely. ‘You, me and Archie back together, trying to do stuff as a family. This is the best thing for all of us. Just think, you’d have Archie with you every night and every day. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted? I know I’ve been a bit of an arse in the past, Grace, but I’ve changed, I truly have. I can be the man that you want me to be. I can help you more. Let’s be a family again.

‘I know you’ve been seeing that Vinnie bloke, but really, Grace! He’s not Archie’s dad, I am, and you know our son wants nothing more than to see his mum and dad back in the same house.’

Grace wasn’t sure, but her mind went back to the occasions that Archie had got his parents to join in group hugs, and how his little face had lit up on the rare times they had both made it to sports day.

‘And anyway, I saw that Vannie, or whatever his name is, in the petrol station earlier. I said hello and told him what a wonderful evening we’d had at your awards do. He seemed surprised. Didn’t know a thing about it, but I filled him in on what a fantastic night we’d had,’ he smirked.

Grace was lost for words. It would be just her luck if Mark managed to turn their very innocent night out into something more sordid in Vinnie’s eyes. She tried to pretend that she wasn’t affected by what Mark had done, knowing that she had to tread carefully.

‘You know that deep down you, me and Archie all back together again is what you really want. It’ll be great, just like old times. So what do you say?’

Grace was still reeling, unable to comprehend what damage Mark might have done to her relationship with Vinnie. Mark, for some strange reason, took her silence as acquiescence and, without warning, strode over to her, taking her by complete surprise, and kissed her. Somehow, he got his sleeve caught in her necklace and as he pulled away, the crystal broke into two pieces and dropped on the floor. Distraught, she dropped to her knees to pick them up. He winked at her and walked to the front door, saying over his shoulder, ‘Don’t worry, Grace, I’ll buy you a much nicer one. If you play your cards right, it might even be a diamond!’ As quickly as he had walked into the house, he walked out again, leaving Grace feeling completely dazed.

Despite his apparent desire to get back together and his protestations that he had changed, it was clear he was the same old Mark. But there was just a tiny part of her that wondered whether there was truth in his words. Was she being unfair to Archie by not being with his dad? Archie was the centre of her life and she’d always put him first. She couldn’t bear it if she caused him any unhappiness.

* * *

She phoned Vinnie the minute that Mark left but he didn’t pick up, so she left a message on his voicemail.

‘Hey, Vinnie, it’s me. Er, Grace, that is. Can you give me a call when you’re free please? Thanks. Bye.’

He didn’t call back.

She tried to stop the tears forming in her eyes. All this time she’d been worried that he might have something to hide, and now Vinnie would be the one who thought she was lying to him.

That night when Archie had gone to bed, Grace phoned Hannah. They talked about their father’s revelations earlier that day. Hannah was also really pleased that he was starting to enjoy life again.

Grace told her sister about Mark’s proposition. Hannah ranted down the phone: ‘If you are even considering this one tiny bit, you do realise that I’m going to have to jump on a plane to the UK and come and batter you senseless, don’t you? You know that he’s only doing this because you’ve found someone new.

‘Grace, my darling, don’t you dare allow him to mess up what you have with Vinnie. He sounds really special. Even from this far away, I can tell that you really like him. Your voice is different and I can hear that you are smiling when you speak about him. I’ve never heard you speak about Mark like that. Mark is an asshole. He’s just poisoning you because you’ve found someone new and he doesn’t like it.’

Grace smiled to hear some Americanisms creep into her sister’s vocabulary.

‘I know what you are saying but this way, H, I’d get my boy back. I’d get to be with him all the time. You know how much I hate it when he’s not here. I feel like part of me, my heart and my soul, is missing. Perhaps I could put up with Mark and his ways. We loved each other once, very much. We could try to get that back. Perhaps I just need to accept that family is more important than what I really want?’

‘Darling, I understand, but you have to live for yourself. You cannot live your life for Archie. It won’t be long before he’s going off with his mates. He’ll be going to high school soon and he won’t even want you to walk to school with him. I know that you can’t see that now but I can. I’ve been through it and I know how it feels. Don’t throw away what you have with Vinnie now and certainly not for Mark! I know it’s early days but I have a real good feeling about you and Vinnie. Don’t you dare throw it away for that good-for-nothing jerk!’

‘I haven’t decided anything yet, sis, but I have to consider all the options and think about what is right for Archie. As his mum, that’s my job. And anyway, I know that on the surface Vinnie does seem perfect, but there’s something niggling away at me.’

‘What?’

‘When I saw him on my night out with Monica, his friend said something about Ellie not liking the fact that he was talking to a woman. And then, when I was at his house, I saw a text message from a woman, telling him to ring her. And then when we went to his house, there was a young girl driving away from his house.’

‘So have you asked him about it?’

‘Erm, well, no.’

‘For goodness’ sake, Grace, you have to ask him. There could be a perfectly reasonable explanation. Do you not think you are reading too much into it?’

‘Yep, I know that. But I could also find out something that I don’t want to and the whole Vinnie situation could come crashing down around me. And I can’t do that to Archie.’

‘Babe, I know you love Arch and hate it when he’s away, but I beg you to remember how unhappy you were when you were with Mark. You seem to have forgotten all of that. He treated you badly and I can’t believe you would even consider having him back. He’ll never change, you know. Remember all those times when you used to sit at my kitchen table and cry because he’d upset you again?

‘You’re a different person now. Look how far you’ve come in the last few months. You’re back to the old Grace. My little sister, who I adore, who is full of life and just wants everyone around her to be happy. Think about Archie – he must love to have his mum being cheerful around him all the time, instead of how sad you used to be. And think about your future. You would be turning down the opportunity of a new life with Vinnie. He’s a man who loves you for who you are and not who he wants you to be. He accepts you and loves you and you are better for having him in your life. I can see that for myself and I’m all the way over here.

‘Just please think very carefully and talk to me before you make your mind up. You have to promise me that! And maybe you should just ask Vinnie about the other things that are winding you up?’

Grace felt so sad when she put down the phone after speaking with her sister. She was so far away. There was a whole ocean between them. She knew that her sister had chosen a life in the States for her family and she had to respect that, but she also felt that her sister had chosen that life over being close to her. You really just have yourself to rely on, Grace told herself. People have to do whatever it takes to be happy.

Without her mum around to chat to, Grace had never felt so alone. She had a huge decision to make. Perhaps it would be easier all round for everyone if she just gave it another go with Mark.

Mark texted her that evening, to see whether she’d considered his proposal. He was probably texting her while Lorraine was cooking dinner or something. The thought of having Archie with her all the time was like a carrot dangling over her head. He knew it and he was playing her. Grace couldn’t help feeling that she was being manipulated by him all over again and she ignored the message.

If and when Vinnie called her back, she didn’t really know what to say to him. She shouldn’t have kept the fact that Mark had attended the awards ceremony with her secret from him, but the only reason she hadn’t told him was because it wasn’t important to her. However, it had been too long now since it happened to bring it up with Vinnie without it sounding like a bigger deal than it was. She didn’t know what to do. She also needed to ask him about the text she had seen and other things, because it was really playing on her mind.

She tried to call him once more before bed but again it went to answerphone. Perhaps she’d buggered everything up already.

‘Vin, it’s me again. I wanted to explain everything to you. I know that you bumped into Mark and that he’s trying to cause trouble between us. Please, call me so we can talk. Please, Vinnie. I miss you.’

That night, Grace didn’t sleep a wink. Her mind was all over the place. She’d met someone wonderful and she hadn’t thought that was possible, so he deserved to know what she was thinking. But the trouble was, she didn’t really know what she was thinking herself. How could she explain anything to someone else when she didn’t understand herself? She thought perhaps that if she ignored the problem, it might just go away. Knowing that she had a busy couple of days coming up at work, she vowed just to get stuck in and try to forget all about it for a while.

* * *

But that was easier said than done and when she still hadn’t heard from Vinnie by the next morning, she was starting to panic. She couldn’t believe that Mark had managed to ruin what she and Vinnie had built together, but she also couldn’t believe that Vinnie wouldn’t even talk to her and let her explain.

She rang Ruth.

‘Oh, Gracie, what on earth has happened? Vincent has told me that he’s taken an emergency job in Hull and is going to be away for the week. I said that I knew he’d miss you and he said that you weren’t everything that you appeared to be. He sounded really cross. Has something happened?’

Grace explained it all to Ruth; that Mark had spun their night out into some sort of romantic date and Ruth sympathised, but told her she was a total idiot for not mentioning it to Vinnie at the time. Grace tried to explain that she hadn’t even wanted Mark to accompany her, and hadn’t really even had an option as he’d decided for her, so she’d just blocked it out. That was the only reason she hadn’t told Vinnie. She had nothing to hide.

‘I just hope he finds it in his heart to listen and to forgive you, Grace, I really do. I could bash your blooming heads together. You are so perfect for each other but this has come between you. I’ll try to talk to him, but sometimes he’s so pig-headed that he won’t even listen to me. I can only try. I also know that Vinnie has something that he needs to share with you. I wish I could go into it, but it’s not my story to tell. He needs to tell you himself.’

Grace knew that she would miss him terribly during his week away but it had at least come at the perfect time, giving her some head space so that she could try to make sense of her thoughts and feelings. She’d never been happier than she was with Vinnie, yet there was something about him that she clearly didn’t know. She was torn – wanting to do the right thing for her son and her family.

Grace had always believed that a family should stick together, taking the cue from her own parents, who had been through hell and back but had always kept the family as a unit. She understood from certain things that her mum had said over the years that her father had never been an angel, and while she never knew exactly what he’d done, she knew that there was something in their life that had caused major turmoil. But her mum had insisted that they stay together for the sake of her family and it was that example that weighed heavy on her mind as she wrestled with what to do. Mark had always been good at manipulating her, making her believe that it was her duty to not think about her own feelings but put the feelings of others before herself. She was at a loss, held back by her sense of duty that she needed to put Archie first, even before her own happiness.

She knew that Vinnie was due back on Saturday night because before Mark’s revelation, they’d made arrangements to go to Ruth’s, so she decided to leave it at that for the time being and not bother him. She felt like her brain was going to explode if she kept trying to fathom out what she should do. She knew what she wanted to do in her heart, but her head kept pulling her another way.

* * *

On Tuesday afternoon, Grace went to visit her dad. When she arrived, Gladys was there and they all had a cuppa together. They were so excited about their cruise and showed Grace the brochure and went through the itinerary with her.

Her dad was also rather excited to show off his new mobility scooter, something else that was giving him a new lease of life.

‘How’s Mark?’ he asked. ‘I was so grateful for all his help with this scooter business. I could never have done it without him.’

Grace was shocked. Mark had visited her dad? He’d been helping him? Why had neither of them ever mentioned this before?

‘You never said he came to see you, Dad. Why would you not tell me that?’

‘To be honest, I thought you knew that he pops in for a cup of tea every now and again. He did so much research on the best type of scooter for me to get and then took me along to pick up the one that we’d chosen. I really don’t know why you can’t sort everything out with him. He’s a decent bloke and he’s Archie’s father. A boy needs his father around.’

Grace was stunned. It wasn’t like Mark to put someone else before himself, but perhaps he really had changed after all, like he said he had. Was he now proving himself to her, knowing that it wouldn’t be long before she found out from her dad that he’d done him a huge favour? She was more perplexed than ever.

Her dad went out to the toilet, shaking his head, and Gladys asked her if she was OK, saying she looked down-hearted.

‘Not really, Gladys. I’m so confused.’

‘I know I’m an old fuddy-duddy, darling, but if I can help in any way, do let me know. I’m a great listener.’

‘Thank you, Gladys, I really do appreciate that. Mark and I were not happy when we were together and he wants us to be a family again, but now I’ve met someone else who I really like and have the chance of a new but unsure future. So how do I choose?’

‘Is he only saying this now, because you have the chance of happiness with someone else though, Grace? I do know that in life, you have to do what makes your soul sing. And be with someone who always puts you first and loves you for what you are, and not for what they want you to be. And someone who makes you laugh. I met Mark the other day and he seemed to be charming, but his eyes are too close together for my liking. You should never trust a man whose eyes are too close together.’ She laughed.

‘Seriously though, you’re a lovely woman and a wonderful mum. And you deserve to be with someone who treats you like a million dollars all of the time, not just when it suits. And you need to be sure that he’s not just trying to spoil your happiness with your new man. That old chestnut, where he just doesn’t want anyone else to have you. But then what do I know? I’m just a silly old woman. Just remember that the person you choose is the person you’re going to grow old with. So decide wisely.’

Grace smiled and thanked her as her dad walked back into the room, and she realised that Gladys wasn’t the only person to have said this to her. She’d made up her mind.