Chapter Fifteen
J ulian did not want to go to Gunter’s, whatever it was. It had been impossible to turn down the invitation, however. Lady Tia had appeared so eager for him to join their group. She was lively and vibrant, and he did not think she was used to being told no. Not that she seemed spoiled. Both she and Lady Lia had conducted themselves well. He sneaked glimpses of Ariadne, who looked fondly at her sisters throughout tea.
It was Ariadne he wished to avoid.
He hadn’t minded Val chastising him for kissing his sister. Julian deserved the dressing down his friend gave him. Although once Val had concluded his rant, he had offered Julian his hand. For his part, Julian had apologized, saying he had not expected to kiss Ariadne and still wasn’t quite sure how it had happened. Val emphasized the need for discretion, explaining that Julian should never be alone with any unmarried lady because it could lead to an instant betrothal in order to save the lady’s reputation. Val had said he liked Julian too much to see his hand forced.
It was all something Val had shared with him before, but it seemed more real to him because of that kiss with Ariadne. After that, he’d vowed to himself never to be alone with her again unless several others were present and not to seek out her company.
Because he was afraid he would be compelled to kiss her again—at length—if they were alone again.
He knew she felt the attraction between them, but he was determined to put it to an end. She was the daughter of a duke. While he did possess a high rank himself, Julian had finally let himself realize the truth.
He wasn’t good enough for a woman such as Ariadne.
She radiated joy and kindness and was beautiful and poised. He didn’t deserve such a woman. She needed to be with a man who was her equal, not some poorly educated former dockworker that had spent his entire life in poverty. He might be a marquess now, with a fancy house and plenty of servants to wait on him, but inside, Julian still felt like that same, inadequate man. As if he were an imposter traipsing about Polite Society, fooling no one.
Because of that, he would not pursue Ariadne. No, Lady Ariadne. He had to start putting both physical and emotional distance between them. He did not want her to believe that he would vie for her hand. He was merely her family’s neighbor. The sooner she understood that, the better. He would not speak of this to her, though. Julian figured once the Season started, eligible men would be lined up outside her door, competing for her attention. With a long list of suitors, he would not be missed.
He had decided after listening to Con and Val that he would pursue a wallflower. They were women who proved to be shy or unpopular and remained on the sidelines at social events. Looks were not important to him. All he needed was someone caring, a woman who would bear his children. He had always hated being an only child and looked upon Val’s and Ariadne’s bantering with a bit of jealousy. He hoped his marchioness would give him a large family. In turn, he would lavish attention upon both his wife and those children she produced.
Wedding a wallflower would also give a woman who might not have had a chance at marriage the ability to have a life she had always yearned for. Not that he wanted his future wife to be grateful or feel indebted to him. He simply knew that wallflowers were outcasts, and he felt like one himself. Together, he hoped he and his wife would build a strong relationship and come to like one another.
When the knock sounded on the door of his study, Julian rose, knowing it was Grigsby here to tell him that his carriage was ready.
Opening the door, he saw his butler. “Yes, I know. The coach awaits.”
“It does, my lord.” Grigsby paused. “I know it is not my place, but Mrs. Grigsby and I are happy that you are settling in and have made friends.”
He smiled wryly. “Did you think it would prove hard for a laborer to do so?”
His butler looked taken aback. “No, my lord,” he said stiffly. “I only meant it is good that you are entertaining and going places. This household was an unhappy one for many years. I hope you will bring light to it.”
“I am touched, Grigsby,” he said, causing his butler’s face to pinken slightly. “I still don’t know if I will fit in with the majority of Polite Society once the Season begins, but I have made a few friends. Good ones, I believe.”
“We hope you will entertain more often, my lord. I am sorry if I overstepped.”
“No. I appreciate the sentiment. And I will inform you that I do hope to bring home a marchioness at Season’s end.”
Grigsby beamed. “Very good, my lord.”
Julian went out to his carriage, feeling pleased that his butler and housekeeper wanted the best for him. Yes, they were in his employ, but he had found the pair to be honest and honorable and was lucky he had them managing his London household.
As he reached the vehicle, he saw the group of siblings leaving Millbrooke’s townhouse. At the same time, a hansom cab pulled up bearing Con, who waved in greeting and then paid his driver.
“Ready for Gunter’s?” Con asked.
“Since I have no idea what Gunter’s is, I cannot say,” he replied.
Lady Tia must have heard his comment and said, “Why, Gunter’s is the most wonderful place in the world, Lord Aldridge. At least, it seemed that way when we were children.”
“You can tell me about it on our way there, my lady,” he said affably, determined to enjoy the outing, even as he avoided Ariadne as much as possible.
Val handed up his three sisters and climbed in after them, followed by Con. Julian entered the carriage last. Unfortunately, the only empty spot was next to Lady Ariadne. He took it, settling himself, and then tapped his cane on the roof to signal his driver they were ready to depart. The carriage started up.
“Gunter’s is a teashop, my lord,” Lady Tia said. “But they are known more for their sweets, particularly their ices and sorbets.”
Even Lady Lia’s eyes lit with excitement. “The ices are ever so wonderful. Papa took us there the time we came to town. It was us, along with Con’s parents and siblings and our uncle George and his four children.” She paused. “There are only three of them now. Cousin Lucius died soon after that, along with his father.”
“Have you ever had an ice before, my lord?” asked Lady Tia. “They have all kinds of flavors.” Her nose crinkled. “Some are quite terrible looking, with vegetables or meat in the frozen concoction. The rest, however, are sweet and delightful.”
“I am getting maple again,” Lady Lia announced.
“You got that last time,” her twin complained. “Try something different.”
Lady Lia shook her head. “It has been years since I had it. I have dreamed about it because it was that good. I will have a maple ice. Nothing else will do.”
“I will take you more than once to Gunter’s while you are here,” Val volunteered. “If that changes your mind about what to order.”
Lady Lia grinned. “I am still ordering maple today.”
Everyone in the carriage laughed, and even Julian said, “I admire your tenacity, my lady. In fact, you have convinced me that I, too, must sample the maple and no other flavor.”
When they arrived in Berkeley Square, Con said, “I hope we are eating inside today.”
He frowned. “We would dine outdoors?”
Ariadne told him, “When the weather is pleasant, many people come to Gunter’s in an open carriage and park. The waiters will dart across the street, trying to avoid traffic, and come and take orders, then return with them minutes later. I think we should go inside today. They have an array of sandwiches, and I am certain we are all hungry. We can save our ices and sorbets for dessert.”
They entered the teashop, and he looked around, surprised to see a young man and lady sitting at a table for two.
Val must have seen his confusion and quietly said, “Gunter’s is the one establishment in town where an unmarried couple might be seen in one another’s company without a chaperone. I cannot explain why. It simply has always been this way.”
Immediately, his mind imagined him sitting at a table with Ariadne, sharing an hour in her company as they tried various ices. Julian shook his head, trying to rid himself of such a fantasy. He would never ask her to accompany him here alone, and she certainly would never ask for him to do so.
A man greeted them. “Lord Claibourne, it has been quite a spell since we have seen you.”
“I have all my sisters with me today, Charlie. They have only been here once and are pining for an ice. Also, Lord Aldridge and Lord Dyer have joined us for the outing.”
Julian noticed Val mentioned his cousin last. It must be because he held a higher rank than Con. It seemed foolish, considering he had only known Val for a short time, while Con was Val’s cousin and longtime friend. He doubted he would ever make sense of the rules of Polite Society.
“We are happy to have you dine at Gunter’s,” Charlie told the group. “Bert will take care of you today. Please follow me.”
He seated them at a table for six. Julian noticed most of the tables held only two or four chairs.
Once they settled, a stout man with a ruddy face came toward them, handing out menus.
“Are we here for sweets today, or more?” he asked.
“We are a ravenous group, Bert, but also one with a sweet tooth.” Val told the waiter.
“You have come to the right place, my lord. We have plenty of cakes, pies, and tarts to choose from, as well as our famous ices and sorbets.”
“Give us a minute,” Con said. “We will peruse the menu and let you know our orders.”
After a few minutes, they decided to order a large tray of sandwiches, along with a salad for each of them. Julian was surprised when the sandwiches were brought out. They were stacked high with various meats and cheeses. He bit into one with roast beef, finding the bread soft and the beef as tender as anything he’d ever eaten.
“Gunter’s is known for catering many of the ton ’s affairs,” Con shared. “I know Mama has used their services on several occasions.”
“Tell us more about our cousins,” Lady Lia encouraged. Turning to Julian, she added, “We live far apart from one another and only gathered once years ago. All three families spent a week in town, the cousins getting to know one another. Then we have been apart ever since, save for Val and Con, who went to school and university together.”
“As I mentioned to you yesterday, Lucy will make her come-out next Season,” Con began. “She is a very spirited young lady, full of joy. She loves to ride. Dru, too, enjoys riding. She is the youngest Alington and feels at home in nature. While Lucy is looking forward to making her come-out, Dru is somewhat ambivalent. I think if Lucy proves successful, Dru will take to things better, especially if Lucy is already wed and can help guide Dru through the process.”
“Are you like Val and waiting to wed?” Lady Tia asked her cousin.
Laughing, Con said, “If Val weds, then I will think about doing so. Something tells me I have many carefree bachelor years ahead of me.”
Bert returned. “Are you ready to order your ices?”
They debated, all except Julian and Lady Lia. Their gazes met, and her eyes sparkled.
“I am so glad we already made up our minds,” she said. “You will not regret your choice of maple, Lord Aldridge.”
“I rarely have eaten sweets, so I will take your word that the maple is good.”
“Do you not like them?” she asked, frowning.
He should not have opened that door. How could he tell this young, innocent girl that he never had two coins to rub together? Sweets were an unknown luxury to families such as his.
Instead, he told her, “I have only recently started partaking of sweets, and I do like them. Perhaps a little too much.”
Bert returned several minutes later with small serving cups. Julian was glad they were small because the ices were quite sweet. Conversation died down as everyone concentrated on their special desserts.
His gaze met Lady Lia’s, and he nodded approvingly at her. “You may recommend anything you wish to me in the future, my lady. The maple ice is delicious.”
“I am glad you are enjoying it, my lord,” she replied.
Val insisted on paying their bill, saying the largest group at the table consisted of Worthingtons.
“With Val paying for our meal and Julian providing the transportation, I must think of some way to contribute,” Con said. “How about a ride in Hyde Park? Would you care to explore the park this afternoon, Cousins?”
“Yes!” squealed the twins. “Ariadne has written of how beautiful it is. We are happy to do so, Con.”
They returned to his carriage, sitting again in the same places they had before. Julian was conscious of the scent of vanilla coming from Ariadne. It caused a deep yearning within him. He told himself she was not for him and to stop wasting time being infatuated with her.
Julian knew he lied to himself, though. He wasn’t infatuated with Ariadne.
He feared he loved her.
He’d instructed his driver to stop at the ducal townhouse. He watched the others climb from the carriage except him. Ariadne was the last to leave.
Turning to him, she asked, “Are you going riding with us, Julian?”
Just hearing his name on her lips caused his pulse to leap. He knew now was the time to put a stop to everything.
“No, Lady Ariadne,” he said formally, even though the two of them were alone for a moment. He wanted her to understand things were not going to progress between them. “I have other matters to attend to. In fact, I will be leaving for Aldridge Manor in the morning and not returning until the Season begins.”
Disappointment reflected in her sky blue eyes. “I am sorry to hear that, Julian.”
“Please. Lord Aldridge. I fear we have become too familiar with one another.”
“Because of our kiss?” she asked softly.
“Are you coming, Sis?” called Val.
“Yes,” Julian told her. “I was wrong to kiss you. I regret doing so. I promise it will never happen again.”
He saw hurt spring to her eyes now, knowing he had put it there. Knowing he must hurt her in order to push her far away.
“I see,” she said, swallowing. “Then I wish you a good day, my lord.”
She stood and took her brother’s waiting hand, not looking back. The door to the carriage shut, and he closed his eyes, knowing he would have to live with the damage he had done to her.
And the damage to his own soul.