And They Had a Great Fall

Chapter Thirteen

chapter thirteen

T he alarm on Jake’s phone blared and the sun seemed to be beaming straight into his eyes. His back and neck hurt, making him aware that he was still on the couch, blanket askew, his naked body intertwined with Kat’s. God, that couch was not comfortable for sleeping, much less with two people. He didn’t know why they hadn’t just gone to bed. He let out a groan as he tried to reach down to turn off his phone. Kat moved out of the way and untwined her legs from his. She grumbled at him to turn off his phone as she stretched.

He untangled their bodies, but kept his arms wrapped around her. Kat tried to sit up, and Jake tightened his grip. He felt her relax back into him. “Good morning,” she said, her voice soft and sleepy.

He ran his fingers down the side of her face and kissed each one of her cheeks. “Are you feeling better this morning?” he asked. She nodded but did not speak.

He gazed at her face, awash in the morning sun. It was brand new for them to wake up together morning after morning, and he liked it. He was unsure and emotional about what was going on between them. Unlike Kat, he couldn’t rationalize everything; he lived in an emotional state that, right now, was tearing him in half.

He paused before murmuring, “This is nice.” He was treading lightly, lest she pull away.

“Mmm,” she said.

He kissed her behind her ear, tracing his finger over her collarbone. “I could get used to this,” he whispered, testing the waters. He wanted to see if she, too, felt the desire to go beyond the escape and the simple.

“Don’t. I leave in five days,” she said untangling her arms from his and sitting up.

“And what if I want it for longer than five days?” he asked her, his tone more challenging than he intended.

“What does that even mean, Jake? I can’t stay here. You can’t pick up and come back to New York. Stop saying impossible things. You’ll just end up disappointed,” she countered, her attention focused on her phone as she scrolled through her email.

The rejection went straight to his core. He sprung up, pulled on his shorts, and walked into the kitchen to make coffee. He gripped the dials tightly, overcoming the sudden urge to smash the coffee cup on the floor. He felt a familiar vibration that came when he was angry. He took a deep breath to calm down.

“Hey,” she called from the living room, looking up from her phone. “Why are you up so early? What’s your call time?”

She was acting like their first interaction hadn’t even happened, like everything was normal. Jake’s first instinct was to ignore her, get dressed, and walk out—a passive aggressive set of actions to show his anger. But he was trying to work through it and temper himself. Don’t let the sparks burn down the house , he reminded himself, thinking of their earlier conversation. “I have to see my trainer today,” he said, his voice tight. He offered up no other details.

Kat walked in, having slipped on a T-shirt, and reached around him for a glass to fill with water. She took a drink. “Nice. I’m jealous. I’m becoming a blob. Too much wine.”

“Work out, then,” he said without emotion and took a drink of coffee. “It would be good for you.”

She looked at him for a beat and took another drink. She didn’t say anything. She was looking at him with a curious expression but did not engage. He studied her face. She looked amused, which pissed him off further. He wanted to ask her if she even noticed how much she’d hurt him. He couldn’t meet her eyes for more than a second. They stood in a momentary standoff as he stared into his coffee.

“What gym do you go to? Can I come?” she asked in cheery voice that made the hair on the back of his neck prickle. She was playing a game he couldn’t decipher.

“Private trainer, on set,” he said. “I can’t go to a normal gym.” He paused. “I figured you’d have to get to the office.”

“Not at 5:30 in the morning, and as long as I have my phone with me, I’ll be fine. But it’s up to you. I understand if you don’t want me there,” she said.

She was goading him; he was sure of it. Jake tried not to react, but his jaw tightened as he texted his trainer, Erik, to let him know he wouldn’t be alone.

H is mood lightened as soon as the car drove onto the set. It was one of the only environments where he felt at peace. Where he really fit in the world. For a few weeks now, he’d met with Erik at a facility set up by the production. Jake had a few fight scenes and needed to look strong on camera. Or at least strong enough. He was naturally thin and often struggled to put on muscle, so he needed to work at it if he wanted to look like someone who could fight off demons from a multiverse.

Erik was not only an effective trainer but also discreet—no tweets or tell-all blogs about the celebrities he trained. Although Jake didn’t always like the constrictive bubble of a movie production, it did offer him protection that he was coming to understand he needed.

They entered the makeshift studio and Erik was set up and waiting for them. Although the studio wasn’t big, it was efficient, with a the right pieces of cardio equipment and extensive weights. Jake said a quick hello and introduced Kat.

Erik shook Kat’s hand. He motioned for Jake to warm up on the treadmill. “I’m going to chat with Kat a bit,” he said. “You know what you need, Jake. Get to work, my man.” He gave Jake a fist bump.

Jake watched Erik lead Kat over to the corner of the room. Kat was talking in a very animated fashion, and he could see Erik looking her up and down. Likely assessing her skill and fitness level , the rational side of his brain told him. Or more , the emotional side told him. They seemed to be talking a lot longer than necessary. He kept his eyes fixed on them in the mirror as he started to jog on the treadmill. Erik gave her a high five and a pat on the back and pointed over to the treadmill. Don’t think , he told himself as he started to jog faster.

He should let it go, but he knew he wouldn’t. Kat stepped up on the treadmill next to him. “He’s hot, huh?” he asked in a breathless voice as he ran. He knew he was being an asshole, but it felt good. His voice was tighter than he wanted it to be, and he let the anger of this morning flood back into his mind. He sounded as pissed as he felt.

Kat looked at him and furrowed her brow. “Yes. He’s totally my type. My age too,” she fired back, equally as tight. She cocked her head and gave him a smile that he could tell was meant to challenge him. He had no idea how they had gone from this morning to now, but the vibe was decidedly icy.

“Great,” he said.

“Great,” she returned. He had never seen her back down from a fight with him and this was no exception.

She turned on her treadmill, matched his speed, and then bumped it up just enough to exceed him. He could tell that she was trying to piss him off. Good , he thought. He wanted to fight. He matched her speed, she bumped hers up, and he matched hers again. This continued, neither of them backing down until Erik came over to get them started. Thank God , Jake thought, as he slowed down his treadmill and tried not to puke. He wasn’t the best runner, probably because he enjoyed smoking too much. Kat looked unaffected as she tightened her ponytail. She shot him a look, cool and confident, and it was almost more than he could take.

Erik started Jake on some agility training for his upcoming fight scene. He had some of the choreography in front of him so he could work on muscles needed to master specific moves. Jake had done this workout before, so Erik left him to work through the sequence.

As Jake worked, he had full view of Erik showing Kat a circuit he’d set up for her. As he demoed each move, he had her try it, all the while touching every muscle she was working. She had him demo a few moves more than once, looking Jake’s way. They were flirting, and Jake was vibrating with jealousy and hurt. It didn’t help that Erik was taller and more muscular than him. He looked over at them again. Is he giving Kat a fucking degree in physiology? Jake fumed to himself. Finally, Erik left Kat’s side and came back over to check on Jake.

As he and Jake worked on the moves together, Erik lowered his voice and asked, “Your friend, Kat, how long is she in town?” he asked.

Jake shot him a look and said, “Not long, why?”

Erik hesitated. “She said you two were just friends, so I was going to ask if she was single before I made a fool of myself and offered to show her around.”

Jake winced hearing that she’d categorized them as just friends. Of course, it was irrational that she would say anything to his on-set trainer, of all people, about their relationship, but it stung all the same. Jake looked him straight in the eye with unwavering eye contact. “Don’t. Just don’t.” He wished it didn’t come out as strained and angry as it did, but he was never good at hiding emotion.

“Got it. Hey, sorry, I didn’t know.” Erik said lifting his hands in surrender. They went back to focusing on the training session.

When the session was over, Jake walked out with Kat, but they weren’t speaking. He didn’t dare break the silence.

K at was vibrating with frustration as they walked. They’d promised. They’d promised to keep it light and never add expectations into their relationship. He was breaking that promise. She needed to cut him off this morning before it got too serious. She too felt a rush of endorphins when they were together, but she knew it was because the body naturally responds to touch—it was a scientific fact. She was leaving soon. No matter how she felt, she needed to be strong. Jake was the emotional one; she was the realistic one. Form and function. That’s what they were.

They walked back to his trailer, an unspoken tension between them. She wanted to ask him about the set, about his work. This was the first time she’d ever been on a movie set, but she wasn’t going to break the silence between them. He was being ridiculous, and she wasn’t going to indulge him.

When Jake opened the door, she finally spoke, but only to announce that she was getting in his shower first. She’d brought a bag with a change of clothes so she could go straight to the PathMobile Copenhagen office. She had a full afternoon and wouldn’t be hanging on set all day. She had things to do and wanted to remind him that she had a life outside of the world of Jake—a life she would return to in less than a week.

He gestured toward his shower as he sat down to take off his sneakers.

After a tough workout and a frustrating morning, the water felt delicious, and she indulged in it running down her body. She covered her face with her hands and wiped the water out of her eyes as if that was enough to eliminate the feelings fighting to the surface: feelings of longing when she was not with Jake and feelings of love and protection when she was. She told herself she could keep herself from falling in love with him. She could keep it light and fun. She could keep walls in place to protect her heart.

She turned the dial hotter, and steam began to rise around her. Damn him , she thought. This was complicated enough without him destroying the boundary she had so skillfully put in place.

She heard the door to the shower open. She turned and saw Jake standing there, naked. Without saying a word, he stepped into the shower and his lips crashed into hers. His kiss was not gentle.

“Are you thinking of him? Do you want him? Why?” he asked, his voice gravelly and tinged with anger. Their eyes locked and she was unable to look away. She could see right into him. His desire. His confusion. How much she’d hurt him.

All of his emotions coursed through her entire body—his combination of anger and longing. It was over. Her invisible boundary crumbled around her, and she wanted him to barge right in.

“No,” she breathed, pressing herself to him. Her heart finally took over, and her rational defenses became useless. She broke his gaze by pressing her lips just below his ear. She drew away and whispered, “You have to know … I came all this way for you .” The water cascaded over both of them as they pressed their foreheads together. Jake moved his head side to side, his eyes closed, and Kat could see the anguish on his face.

He spun her around, pressed into her back, and devoured her neck. “I don’t know why … You won’t.…” His voice trailed off into a pained whisper. “Can’t you feel what’s happening between us? I can. It’s real, Kat. This is real.”

She felt her legs would buckle, not just from desire, but from the weight of his emotions and the vulnerability that he was laying at her feet.

“Jake, I can’t … it’s … I can’t.…” She almost couldn’t speak as his touch cleared her of all rational thought. “It’s all too much,” she panted, reaching back and running her hands over his wet hair.

He grabbed her wrists and pushed them above her head and onto the wall. His boldness and aggression were new to her, and it turned her on to have him take full control.

“Too much? I’m too much?” He pushed himself into her, making her gasp. “Is this all you want from me?” His voice was a growl in her ear. “We … we are more than this.”

Kat might have crumbled if Jake was not holding on so tightly. He began to move, slamming into her with a dangerous blend of passion and anger. Kat pulled her hands free and put them against the wall to keep her balance. She couldn’t help herself from moaning as she was taken by his physical possession of her. She wanted to let him take all of her, which scared and excited her more than she could admit.

Jake slowed down and became gentle in his movements, running his hands over her body. He murmured, “Dammit, Kat, stop pushing me away.”

Kat let out a sob and cried out as they came together. She reached back to put her hand on his body, and he pushed away from her.

Before she could turn around, she heard the door slam closed. He’d left the shower without saying another word. She slammed her hand into the dial to shut off the water. She felt a cold void surrounding her. She wanted his arms around her; she wanted to feel any part of his body close to hers. Her tears came, and they came fast. She cried at her inability to give him what he really desired. He wanted it all and she didn’t trust herself to give herself over to anyone. Not even him. She curbed her tears and got dressed in the bathroom, unable to face him.

When she walked out, he was already dressed. Before she could speak, he walked over and wrapped his arms around her. She didn’t know if he could see her red eyes or if he noticed the remnants of her tears, but she needed to be held. By him. The roller coaster of emotions she was on was giving her mental whiplash. She rested her head on his chest, allowing the rhythm of his heartbeat to calm her.

“Kat … I’m sorry … that was—” he started. She held on tighter and cut him off before he could say any more. “For the record, I do feel.…” she said in a whisper, her voice breaking. She couldn’t finish the sentence. He didn’t reply, but simply tightened his hold on her. She felt him sigh. He loosened his grip and said, “Stop being scared of this … of us … Kat, I’ve got you,” he whispered.

Their phones pinged at the same time, unwelcome intruders in the quiet of his trailer. Kat’s was giving her a thirty-minute notification before her meeting at the PathMobile offices, and Jake was due in hair and makeup. They were out of time.

As they walked out of the trailer, Jake drew Kat to him, and she looked around to see if anyone was watching. Seeing her concern, he whispered, “This is a closed set.” She rested her head on his shoulder, her face buried in his neck. “You sure you’re okay?” he asked.

Kat turned to him and nodded. She brought her lips to his, as if they could, in fact, linger there. It was her way of showing him that she felt it too.

“Please keep kissing me like that,” he murmured. “I just want to be like this, with you,” he sighed. “I can’t believe you have to leave.”

Kat didn’t know if he meant right then or in a few days, but regardless, it reminded her that she would be leaving and couldn’t give Jake the one thing he wanted—more time.

They heard a throat clear. A young woman—Kat guessed a production assistant—was standing a few feet away. “So sorry Jake, but they’re waiting for you.”

K at walked into the PathMobile offices a few minutes before her meeting started. It was the first day the DK website would go live and allow consumers to pre-order the PVA. The office was buzzing with energy.

She passed Poul on the way to the conference room. “T-minus one hour until we go live,” he said, passing her. “See you in there, five minutes.”

She walked into the conference room, and nearly the entire Danish team had crammed inside. They greeted her as if she was one of the team. After yesterday’s long work session and resolution, she felt like they had worked together for years. Before Poul came in to talk to the team about the pre-orders, the marketing team gave her a quick update on the stickers. Everything was going as planned, which allowed Kat to take a breath and just focus on the excitement of the day.

When Poul arrived, they took him through the logistics of the day and the forecasted number of pre-orders they would receive in the next week. Kat admired the efficiency and cohesion of the team.

It was go time for launch, and Poul pulled up the website on the large screen and announced the pre-orders were live. Clapping filled the air, and Kat could feel the pride emanating from everyone in the room.

“Kat, you ready?” Poul asked, gesturing to a large box on the opposite side of the room. She smiled and nodded. “Please do the honors, Poul,” she said. She’d had some early devices sent to the Copenhagen office as a gift to the team. Poul handed them out to a very happy crew.

After the excitement died down, everyone dispersed to their workstations. Kat settled herself in an empty office so she could join calls in the US for the remainder of the day. She thanked Poul for including her in the excitement of the day, and he replied with a smile, “ Mit sted er dit sted. ” He translated for her: “My place is your place. Kat, we are very happy you are here.” He closed the door and left her alone.

Kat snuck in a FaceTime call to Becca, to show her the view outside the window, which faced the B?rsen, Copenhagen’s historic stock exchange. She knew Becca wouldn’t care about a stock exchange but would love the “dragon spire” on top of the imposing red brick building. She pointed her phone at the spire and zoomed in.

“Momma, is that built by real dragons?” Becca exclaimed. Kat had the urge to explain that dragons were not real, but she stopped herself.

Instead of bringing her to reality, Kat replied, “Maybe. I don’t know, but I do think it would take a very tall dragon to make that high of a spire.” Becca squealed and proceeded to guess what color the dragon would be (purple), what their name would be (Julie), and why they built the spire (to harness lightning power). They were both in giggles, and Kat was in awe of how Becca’s imagination allowed her to explore all possibilities with abandon. When did I lose that skill? She wondered if she’d ever had it.

The next time she looked at the clock, it was after 4:00 p.m. She often lost herself while working. She walked out of the office in search of food, but Poul announced a celebratory happy hour and insisted Kat join. She retreated back into her office to pack her things.

She followed the team down the street to a lively café aptly named Café Wilder. Noise spilled out of the open windows. The energy inside was infectious. They yelled “hi” in unison to the bartender, and he motioned to the oversized booth marked reserved in the back. Kat slid into the middle of the booth and the team filled in around her. For a brief moment, she allowed herself to pretend she was simply a member of the team. She tried to follow the chatter as they fluidly moved between Danish and English.

She envied other countries for their culture of travel, having a different country right next door. She found her global counterparts had distinct knowledge not just of different languages, but they also knew how to read and adjust to a culture that was not their own. She was hoping to one day give her daughter a view beyond the Upper West Side.

The pints were pushed around the table, and the team pummeled her with questions about the New York headquarters. Was there really a basketball court (yes), ale on tap in the office (yes) and company yacht (no), and then they moved on to her. Was she enjoying her visit (yes, second trip, loved the city), did she have kids (Becca), and what was it like living in New York City (chaotic and wonderful at the same time). In return, she had many questions for them. Once they had exhausted all the obligatory get-to-know-you questions, Kat sat back and listened to the banter of the team.

One of the youngest members was scrolling through her phone when she blurted, “OMG everyone. Listen to this.” She read out loud. “Jake Laurent is in Copenhagen, starting this week, shooting his new movie, Zero Code . He will be on location for the next six weeks,” she said, her face animated with every word.

Kat knocked over her pint, causing the group to gasp. The amber liquid ran into the middle of the table. Her face burned red as she dabbed napkins on the spill.

Another team member, ignoring the spill said, “Duh, there were photos all over Twitter of him at Tivoli. I hope I run into him—he is so my type.”

“Your problem is you actually think you have a chance with him,” retorted another. The group laughed and picked up their phones to scroll through their social feeds, grabbing information to continue the conversation.

Kat did the best acting job she could muster to keep her face neutral. She thought it was funny that the source said he just got to Copenhagen since he’d been there for weeks—likely because he was only spotted this week. She had a twinge of guilt for outing him in the city.

“I heard he was gay,” said another. “I mean, isn’t everyone in Hollywood at least bi?” There were a lot of head nods, and they took some time to dissect all the people he had dated and guess which men and women he was secretly sleeping with. They became particularly giddy with this topic and Kat couldn’t stomach such a private topic being casually discussed as if it were the weather. Kat searched her mind for something … anything … to change the subject.

“Hey, Kat,” Poul said, jarring her out of her thoughts. “I heard he lives in New York. You ever run into him?”

“New York City is a big place,” she said, avoiding the question. In her brain, she logged another reason why she wanted to keep her and Jake a secret: she would be outed as a liar to this entire team, not to mention change her reputation from leader to woman sleeping with a celebrity. She could only imagine the work gossip circles that would gleefully ignite with that information.

They spent the next ten minutes mapping where they thought the filming was taking place, where they might spot him, guessing what the movie was about, where he was staying, why he was at Tivoli, and generally any crumb of information that would put them in his orbit, even for just a minute.

Most of the chatter was harmless, but Kat cringed as she listened to the way they talked about him. He was an object, not a human. She knew it wasn’t particular to him, but it was the same way she had heard friends, colleagues, and even herself talk about celebrities. Nothing was off-limits. In one minute, celebrated; in the next, torn down. It was hard to listen to, especially since the conversation was not about his work and his art, but his body and his face.

If the conversation continued to be about Jake, she feared the reactions on her face would give her away. She finally got them to change the subject to the Copenhagen RLFC, the local rugby team. Here, as in the US, celebrities and sports were the easiest conversation starters. She glanced at her watch. She didn’t want to stay for long since it was a team celebration and, as a visitor—especially one from corporate—she knew better than to overstay her welcome.

She untangled herself from the booth and made her way out of the café. She mapped her way back to Jake’s apartment and decided to walk in the cool September air. He was most likely still on set, and she enjoyed the time to herself as she meandered back home.

She climbed the stairs, and she heard her texts chimed. It was Emily texting her to connect via video chat. She was ready to discuss the current status of the launch. Things seemed to be back on track, but they connected daily.

Once they were on video, Emily walked her through other parts of the launch plan, including media. Kat took over the screen to share a TikTok influencer video the Denmark team had completed and recommended the US marketing team replicate the campaign. They fell into a familiar groove of optimizing the launch and adding improvements.

Kat was in their shared document, uploading links for the marketing team, and Emily was multitasking. They were silent as Kat finished. So silent that Jake, not realizing she was on video, plopped down next to her in full view.

“Oh hi!” Emily said with surprise in her voice, and Kat froze. “You must be mystery pronoun,” she said, letting out a loud laugh.

Jake’s entire face lit up in a smile. “And you must be the famous Emily. Hello, Famous Emily,” he said with his usual charm. He bounded off the couch and moved out of view of the camera. He mouthed “sorry” at Kat, but his eyes were twinkling.

Kat hit the mute button. Despite her internal panic she kept her voice steady. “I didn’t think you’d be here. I thought you were on set.”

“I was and then we had a break. I’m heading back now. We’re shooting a cluster of night scenes,” he said. “You need anything?”

She shook her head no. Before she could protest, he leaned down, waved to Emily, and gave Kat a quick kiss on the cheek. “Text me if you need anything,” he called as he walked out the door.

Once she heard the door close, she turned back to the call, took her laptop off mute, and saw Emily’s stunned face. “Let’s go through the marketing document one more time,” she said, trying to pivot back to the task at hand.

“No way, Kat. I finally learned that mystery pronoun is a real person, and you want to talk launch logistics? We’re discussing this,” Emily said in a firm tone, but with a giggle. “Ohhhh … is he on the design team? I think I met him a few weeks ago … one of the new hires, right? No wonder you don’t want to tell anyone about him!”

Kat felt a flash of anger. She would never date anyone within the company. In her position, that secret was worse. “Oh my God Emily, NO. You know I would never do that.” Kat was surprised that Emily had even considered that a possibility. Did she know her at all?

“Why does he look so familiar? Have I met him?” Emily’s questions hung in the air.

Kat was staring right into Emily’s determined face, and she knew she had to share the truth. She felt relieved to talk to someone about it. Emily, although a colleague, was her closest friend. She didn’t have much time for friends outside of work and at this moment she needed a friend. “You have probably seen him before. It’s Jake, eh, Jake Laurent.” She stopped talking and watched realization wash over Emily’s face.

“WHAT?” Emily yelled. “Right. That is him. I just saw his movie, last Saturday to be exact. Cloud Catcher , I think it was called. God, he looked so hot in that movie.” Emily put her hand over her mouth. “Ugh … sorry. I just called your boyfriend hot. He is your boyfriend, right? Wait, how is he your boyfriend?”

Kat felt the unspoken, “But he’s so young, and you aren’t … he’s so hot, and you … aren’t.” It hung in the air like a half-deflated balloon. Emily didn’t say those words, but Kat felt like the question was in her eyes.

“No, no,” Kat said shaking her head. “It’s not like that. You know Jill and Adrian, my next-door neighbors? They are Jill and Adrian Laurent, Jake’s parents. I’ve lived next door to them for years, Emily. He’s here and I’m here, so we’re hanging out.” Just to add extra emphasis, she continued, “I wouldn’t call him my boyfriend .”

Kat had spent countless hours with Emily, but even so, she kept high walls up around her life. Kat wanted to tear down those walls, but she just needed Emily to stick her finger in a crack and pull away the concrete.

“Kat,” Emily started, “I don’t know what you call it, but I heard him the other morning asking you about coffee, and I saw that kiss just now. When two acquaintances find themselves in the same city, they have a lunch or a drink, they don’t stay in the same apartment for ten days.”

And just like that, Kat’s wall came crashing down as she put her hands over her eyes and the words tumbled out. “It’s crazy, right?”

Emily let out a large laugh and a squeal. “I knew it. Oh my God, this is so great, Kat, really!” She paused. “So, you are together?”

Kat was not prepared to answer that question. Being unprepared destabilized her, and she felt panic rise in her throat. She searched for an answer that was truthful, sounded smart, and didn’t come across like the confused, scattered human she became when trying to make sense of Jake. She opened her mouth to answer and couldn’t get the right words out, instead stammering, “Honestly, it’s annoyingly complicated, and I don’t know how to explain what we are.”

“Okay. Let’s take a step back. But you are something?” Emily asked talking through this as if they were dissecting a work problem.

“I think so, but I don’t know what I want out of this. Emily, his life is so out in the open and mine is so … not. Our lives don’t fit together, and I can’t imagine a day when they will.” There. She finally said it. No matter what this was, it couldn’t be more than a diversion. Anything more would be disastrous. When she envisioned their relationship a few months down the road, she couldn’t find a scenario that worked in their favor.

“But does he make you happy?” Emily asked. “I’m guessing you didn’t fly all the way there because you don’t like being with him.” She scoffed at her own statement.

“Remember, I flew all this way for work ,” Kat said in a tone that sounded overly adamant. “But yes, I do like being with him … he can be wonderful and infuriating in the same day. He’s not easy, that’s for sure.” That was the most accurate way to describe her feelings for Jake. But he also made her feel like her life was more than a series of tasks to be managed. When she turned off her brain, she felt freer and happier than she had for a long time.

Emily shook her head. “Not everything can be simple, but it doesn’t make it wrong.”

“My life, even without him, is too complicated, Emily. I have Becca, and she can’t have a mom who is unfocused. I have this job, which takes up all my time. And if there is any chance I’m still in the running for COO, life is only going to get exponentially harder to manage,” she said. She couldn’t even imagine how they would ever see each other.

“If?” Emily said. “It isn’t an ‘if.’ Will submitted his recommendations yesterday, and he told me you’re the top candidate. Did you think that had changed?”

“I don’t know. The biggest thing I had going for me was this launch, and it got messy,” she said. “Besides that, I’m young, I’m a woman, and I’m just now getting global experience. And even this is minimal. It makes me a weaker candidate, at least to the board.”

“Don’t forget that you have the best reputation for getting things done in this company,” Emily said. “That counts for something.”

“True,” Kat started. “Emily, I’m trusting you. Please don’t say anything about Jake. The last thing I need is for people to see me as anything other than a leader. I’m worried that if people know about us, it will be used against me.” It was tough enough to be taken seriously as a female in technology without everyone thinking about who was sharing her bed.

“Of course,” Emily replied.

“Let’s talk about you for a sec, Emily. Regardless of what happens with me, you are ready for the next level. I am going to recommend you get promoted to the president level in the product or sales organization. I worked on your write-up during my plane ride. It’s the right next step for you.”

Their yearly planning cycle was taking place, and Emily was at the top of Kat’s list for a key leadership position. They had both worked toward this moment—Emily through learning and hard work, and Kat through attention and mentorship. She could feel herself beaming through the screen.

“Thank-you. I appreciate your vote of confidence, but now it’s my turn to be honest, ” Emily started. She paused before continuing, “I don’t think I want it … actually, I know I don’t want it.”

Kat looked at her, stunned. She saw Emily as a mini-Kat, someone who was so much like her. She swallowed hard and stammered, “Wow. Really? Why not?”

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot,” Emily started. “I watch Will, who’s excited to finally spend some time with his wife and children. His children who are grown , Kat. He missed their entire childhood,” Emily hesitated. “And I watch you. You live for this, night and day. Case in point, you’re in Copenhagen—with Jake Laurent, of all people—and all I’ve seen you do is work.” She paused, and Kat fought the urge to jump in. She physically put her hand over her mouth to keep quiet. “I don’t want to live like that, Kat. I want to live life and work on the side. Not the other way around.”

“Emily,” Kat started. “I didn’t know you felt this way. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I didn’t want to disappoint you,” she said. “You’ve been an amazing champion for me since I started, and I’ve learned so much from you. Not just about product logistics, but how to be a strong woman and get your voice heard, how to get others to work together by transparently aligning on goals. And most importantly, how to clearly communicate what you want … which is how I’m finally coming to this. So, thank you, but I don’t want to be promoted.”

Kat leaned in toward the screen, wishing she was there, in person, with Emily. “So, what do you want?”

Emily laughed at Kat’s question. “I don’t know! Don’t get me wrong, I do love my job, but I also want to travel with my girlfriend. I want to see the Northern Lights. I want to move out of the city someday. There are so many things I want to do, and this place, this job, is just a part of who I am. I don’t want it to be my whole life . It’s already a lot; I just don’t want it to be more . So, I just want to stay where I am, if that’s okay.”

Kat couldn’t find the right words to respond. She felt exposed, and she replayed all their interactions in her mind. The weekend phone calls. The late-night emails. She hadn’t shown Emily how to sustain a leadership role without it demanding your entire life. Actually, she didn’t know how to be a leader without giving nearly every moment to PathMobile. I’ve failed her as a leader. I’ve failed myself , played on repeat in her mind . For the first time, she thought about what her life could be without the demands of her job taking priority. She let her mind wander to lazy weekends with Becca and Jake without work taking up permanent residence in her mind. That fantasy filled her with a happy feeling.

“Oh no, do you hate me? I’m sorry to drop this on you … it seemed like the right time,” Emily said, breaking Kat out of her fantasy world.

“Of course, I don’t hate you. I admire you, Emily,” Kat said. “You know what you want out of life, and you’re refusing to compromise. That takes a lot of courage. I always knew you were smart. But it’s more than that. You are very wise.”

Emily laughed. “Kat, since you think I’m so wise, can I give you one piece of advice about Jake?”

“Yes, please,” answered Kat.

“Being loved and loving someone back is rare and special. Don’t reject it because it’s complicated. Some of the best things that happen in life don’t make any sense.”

Once they hung up, Kat sat with Emily’s statement for a minute. She was envious of Emily’s conviction and her willingness to step aside and let her career take a back seat to her life. If only she could’ve done the same earlier in her career or before she became responsible for another human.

Her texts chimed. It was Jake. He’d been gone less than an hour. She smiled at her impulsive Jake, already reconnecting them after only a short time of being apart.

J: Hey, want to come to set? I will be late tonight. A long schedule of night shots.

J: I miss you.

She immediately typed her response.

K: I can’t. I have work to catch up on.

As soon as she hit “send,” she felt a knot in her stomach. Her conversation with Emily played over and over in her head. Yes, Jake was complicated, but he was also exciting, and she missed him too. Before she could convince herself otherwise, she tapped out a follow-up reply.

K: Yes. I want to come. Is nine too late?

J: 9 works. I’ll send a car. Someone will meet you.

Kat marked his last text with a thumbs-up.