Any Kind of Life (Hush Liverpool #4)

Chapter 27

One month later…

Paige slowly stretched as she opened her eyes, groaning as her body came to life. Last night was probably the best night’s sleep she’d had since before the tour kicked off, but she was disappointed to roll over this morning…to find an empty bed. Juliet wasn’t sleeping as well as she could be, but Paige had thought it was getting better.

She was jumpy. Nervous even at home. Paige had known this could happen, but she had also hoped Juliet would have recovered better knowing that Cara and Ron were dead. Perhaps Paige should have anticipated this much more than she had. Most of the time, Paige felt lost. She hated seeing Juliet frightened. It wasn’t the woman she had initially met.

Still, she loved her just as much.

No. She loved her far more than she ever had before.

As Paige sat up and rested against the headboard, she took her phone from the nightstand. She would admit that it was strange not having to look over their shoulders every minute of the day, but Paige would adjust just fine. She’d never wanted to be in that position in the first place. If it hadn’t been James that she was wary of, it was some unknown gang-related thing that Paige didn’t want to become a target of.

She had a message waiting from Henry.

Hey, Paige. Just checking in. Juliet has sort of hinted at me sitting outside the apartment again for a while. Is she doing okay? H.

Paige sighed. Juliet hadn’t mentioned this to her. Paige could wonder why, but she knew why. Juliet wanted to be seen as strong and capable. And she was, that hadn’t changed. But if she needed Henry outside to make her feel better, then Paige would agree with her wholeheartedly. Whatever made Juliet comfortable made Paige happy.

If that’s what she’s asked you to do, then I’d appreciate it if you went along with it. She’s not great at the minute. Very jumpy and nervous. I’m hoping I can convince her to go to the victim counselling Detective Roache called me about.

Paige didn’t like discussing Juliet’s mental health with anyone, but Henry likely understood. He had known Juliet far longer than Paige had.

Okay. I’ll head over now. Maybe if she can see me parked down on the street she’ll feel better. Take it easy, Paige. If you need anything, give me a shout. H.

Paige smiled and climbed from the bed. Henry really was a great guy, which was unusual for Paige given the fact she’d only really had bad experiences with men. The care he had shown with both her and Juliet was most definitely foreign to Paige.

Unsure of what she would be faced with this morning, she pulled a hoodie on and left the bedroom. “Morning, babe.” Rather than sneak up on Juliet—something she used to do a lot—Paige decided it would be better if Juliet knew she was up and about. “You want some coffee?”

“No, thank you.”

Paige looked over at Juliet where she sat in her usual reading chair in the window. It had the perfect view of the city, dark clouds rolling in off the river. Juliet wore one of Paige’s hoodies, the hood lifted and covering her face, her knees pulled up to her chest. God, she didn’t like seeing Juliet in this way at all. She had always been so full of life, the first one awake and making coffee every morning, lazily gazing back at Paige at any opportunity.

Paige chose to forget about her coffee, instead crossing the room to where Juliet stared out of the window. “How did you sleep?” She sat on the windowsill, trying to find Juliet’s eyes. “Babe?”

“Not great. I tossed and turned most of the night. I’ve been out here since four.”

“You should have woken me up. I would have sat with you.”

Juliet barely managed a smile when she finally looked up at Paige. “No. It’s okay. You shouldn’t lose sleep because of me.”

“I’d have been happy to sit up with you.” Paige reached out a hand and took Juliet’s. “Why don’t you go back to bed for a few hours. I’ll just do some bits and pieces around here.”

Juliet’s tired eyes gazed back at Paige, as beautiful as ever. “I’ll be okay. I’m sure you have plans for us.” Juliet tried to stand, but Paige stopped her. “I…should shower.”

“Hey.” Paige squeezed Juliet’s knee. “Just relax. If you don’t feel up to heading out anywhere, we can spend the day here. I don’t mind. I could do with a rest.”

That was a lie. Paige had no reason to rest. It wasn’t as though they’d done much recently that would require her to rest. But if it was what Juliet needed to hear, then so be it.

“I think the tour and everything that followed is beginning to catch up with me.”

“Yeah?” Juliet seemed to smile a little more at that. “You feel like resting, too?”

“God, yes.” Paige guided Juliet to her feet and took her by the hand. “Come on.” They moved towards the couch, a thick fleece blanket already thrown over one end of it. “If you don’t want to go back to bed, at least get on the couch and watch some TV. Maybe you’ll fall asleep without realising it.”

Juliet lay down on the couch, bringing the blanket up to her chin the moment Paige draped it over her. She curled up, knees to her chest, and sighed. “What if she’s not dead.”

Paige frowned. “I’m sorry?”

“Cara. What if she’s not dead. Maybe it wasn’t her.”

Paige got to her knees at the side of the couch, stroking the side of Juliet’s face. “She’s dead, babe. The police confirmed it. They’re already halfway into an inquest.”

“I think I saw her down on the street this morning,” Juliet said as she closed her eyes. “I’m sure it was her.”

God, this was painful. “You really think Henry wouldn’t notice if she was still alive? That guy doesn’t miss a thing.”

“Henry isn’t outside anymore, though.” Juliet’s voice trembled, reminding Paige of a scared child. “I sort of mentioned it to him, but I’m not sure he realised what I was saying.”

“He realised, don’t worry. And as of today, he will be outside until you decide you don’t need him around anymore.”

“I…think I’m going crazy.”

Paige lay her head on the cushion Juliet was resting on, their noses touching. “You’ve had a huge shock. Of course you’re going to be feeling…out of sorts. But you’re not going crazy. You just need some time to come to terms with everything.”

Juliet brushed her nose against Paige’s. “I’m sorry I’ve been so miserable. You must hate being here.”

If Paige hadn’t understood where Juliet was coming from, she would have been offended by that. “I spent almost a week next to your bed. I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again. Miserable is not what I feel when I’m here with you. I feel grateful for a second chance with you.”

“A second chance?” Juliet frowned.

“We almost lost one another. I almost lost you. To me, this feels like a second chance. She tried to break us, but she failed. She is the crazy one. She is the weak one for taking orders from some old bastard in prison. She is gone, Juliet.”

“Promise me,” Juliet whispered. “Promise me that she’s gone.”

“I promise you.” Paige kissed the tip of Juliet’s nose and smiled. “You’re safe, okay?”

“I hope so.” Juliet’s eyelids fluttered closed, a light sigh falling from her lips. “Will you lie with me?”

Paige managed to squeeze in next to Juliet, still facing her where she lay. She stole part of the blanket, her hand settling on Juliet’s hip beneath it, and enjoyed the simple sound of the woman she loved breathing.

Roused from her sleep by the most beautiful sound, Juliet remained where she was, listening to Paige as she played the piano. God, no sound in this world could ever be as soothing. No woman could ever make Juliet feel so safe and secure. Physically and emotionally. If things became harder, then Paige would be by Juliet’s side. If life took an uncertain turn for a while, Paige would work through it with Juliet. Right now, that was the only thing Juliet was clinging onto.

Did she believe Cara was dead? Of course she did. But it all happened so quickly that Juliet didn’t really know how to process it all. She wanted to move on with her life, but how did she do that? Cara had left her for dead on the floor of the bar… and now Cara was gone. Ron, too. It all seemed far too easy to be over.

But it was.

Juliet had to believe and understand that.

If she didn’t, she feared she would begin to push people away. Paige, Henry, their friends. That wasn’t an option for Juliet. She needed her support system. Physically, she was doing fantastic, but in her head…life wasn’t as good as she wished it was. Which seemed a little stupid, in all honesty. Juliet had survived, but here she was, moping around.

She slowly sat up, warmed by the ambience in the apartment this afternoon. Paige had gone above and beyond when it came to taking care of her, and as she looked around the open-plan space, it was spotless. Had Juliet really needed so much sleep that she hadn’t even heard Paige cleaning? Perhaps it was time to listen to her body rather than the thoughts running through her mind.

The sound of the piano stopped, and Paige looked back at Juliet. “Hey.”

“Don’t stop on my account,” Juliet said as she rose to her feet. She stretched, groaning as her muscles ached, then moved towards the piano. “I’d sit here listening to you play every hour of the day if I could.”

Paige shifted on the bench, making a little bit of room for Juliet. “Sit down here with me.”

Juliet took a seat and placed her hand on Paige’s thigh. “Thank you.”

“For what, babe?”

Juliet turned to Paige, admiring those beautiful eyes. “For being by my side. For taking all of this in your stride. For making me realise that I’m okay and that I’m safe.”

“I promise you that you’re safe.” Paige lifted Juliet’s hand and kissed it. “Always, okay?”

“And I’ve realised something else since we came home from the hospital, too.” Juliet searched Paige’s face, the softness of her features almost leaving her breathless. “I…realised that the world tour was never your thing. I’m sorry if it seemed as though I was pushing it on you.”

Paige lifted a shoulder. “I kind of understand. Most people would do anything for an opportunity like that. I just have other priorities. I always did.”

“It means so much to me that you make our life here your priority. I…never thought I’d ever matter so much to someone.” Juliet had rarely imagined a future with someone else, let alone to be the number one priority. But she always should have known that Paige would choose this over anything else. It was just who she was. “I accept that this is where you want to be, okay?”

“I know you do. And I think that given everything that’s happened recently, it’s only made us both appreciate what we have here even more than we already did. I can say for sure that I never take a single second for granted now.”

Juliet squeezed Paige’s hand, a tremendous amount of love sitting firm in her chest. “I love you, and I know that here is the right place for you. Our life together, the bar, Liverpool. I’ll never question that again, and quite frankly…if another tour did come up, I’d lock you away before I let you go again.”

Paige laughed. “And that is the correct answer to any hint of a tour moving forward. Because you and I both know that I’d rather be locked away with you than in a different city.”

Juliet lifted her hands and cupped Paige’s face. “This is where you want to be, and this is where I want you to be. If I’ve ever given you the impression that I don’t, I’m so sorry.”

“You haven’t, babe. Don’t worry.”

“I love you, okay?” Juliet drew Paige in, their foreheads touching. “All I want is to wake up beside you for the rest of my life.”

“Consider it done.”

Juliet felt relieved to know that Paige trusted her with their future. Though really, there was never any doubt. From Juliet and what was best for Paige, yes, but those days were over now. All Juliet wanted was a bright and happy future. “I’m not in the right headspace today, but I thought maybe we could stroll around the dock tomorrow. Maybe get some of those pancakes we had the first time together?”

“Count me in. That would be lovely.” Paige lowered the lid over the keys of the piano and relaxed her shoulders. “Fancy a bit of lunch?”

“I’ll take care of that. You’ve done plenty around here while I’ve been sleeping.”

“Sleep is important. It’s what helps you heal.” Paige got to her feet and headed straight for the kitchen. “And I know it’s more of a dinner thing, but we can eat what we want…when we want, right?” Paige watched Juliet from across the room, brow lifted.

“I feel so out of sorts that lunch and dinner are the same thing for me at the moment anyway.” Trying to force herself out of the endless thoughts she had, Juliet followed Paige into the kitchen and lifted herself up onto the counter. No matter what was going on outside this apartment, Juliet was locked away inside and safe. “I will admit that I’m a little bit peckish, though.”

“Good job I got lunch prepped earlier then. Spicy chicken tacos?”

Juliet’s mouth watered at the thought. If these were the days she could have with Paige when she was feeling uncertain about everything, then she really had nothing to worry or complain about. Tacos, comfy clothes, and the TV? Juliet couldn’t wait. “Yes, please.”

“Before I sort lunch out, I’m going to run you a really gorgeous bath. I think you need something to relax you, and I can’t think of anything better.”

God, Juliet could enjoy a steaming hot bath right about now. She cocked her head, smiling back at Paige. “You really are perfect. I hope you know that.”

“Go on. Get yourself something to change into, and I’ll get that bath ready for you. And then when you’re done, however long that takes, lunch will be ready and waiting for you.”

Slipping from the counter, Juliet leaned in and kissed Paige below the ear. “Thank you. You’re amazing.”

Paige eyed the bathroom door as she took her phone from her pocket. Juliet would only shoot the idea down if she brought it up, so Paige had decided to take matters into her own hands. She was calling Hannah and Caz to come over and drink wine with them. If they were available, anyway. Juliet needed something to take her mind off everything. Having friends over would surely do that. Or maybe Juliet would open up a little more about what she was feeling. Hannah and Caz had seen her at her worst, after all.

She quickly called Hannah’s number, relieved when she answered. “Hey, it’s me.”

“Hey. Everything okay?”

“Are you and Caz free by any chance?” Paige had to prepare for the possibility of Hannah saying no. “I…wondered if you wanted to come over and spend the afternoon with us. Maybe with a bottle of wine or two?”

“Caz is working until four,” Hannah said, sighing. “Is tonight too late for you?”

Paige dragged a hand through her hair, smiling when she heard Juliet sloshing about in the water. “I don’t think it’ll matter what time you come over.”

“What do you mean? Has something happened?”

“I just think that Juliet could do with having some friends over. Take her mind off things, you know?”

“W-what things?”

Paige appreciated Hannah’s concern, but she really didn’t want Juliet to overhear any of this. “She’s just…struggling a bit.”

“How long has this been going on for?”

“Well, the not sleeping part has been going on since she came out of hospital, really, but that’s not what I’m worried about. She, um… She thinks Cara is still alive.”

“But the stupid bitch threw herself into the dock. It was all over the news. They have her body; they’ve confirmed it was her.”

Paige nodded. “Yeah. We all know that. Juliet does, too, but I think it’s just her mind playing tricks on her. She thinks she saw Cara this morning down on the street.”

Hannah cleared her throat. “Okay, yeah. It sounds like a night with all of us together could be a good plan. I’ll call Caz and ask her to pick up snacks on the way home. Maybe a charcuterie board or something we can all just lounge around enjoying.” Hannah paused. “And obviously, I’ll bring plenty of wine. You know, just in case we need extra for back-up.”

Paige laughed as she tossed the salad she’d prepared earlier in a bowl. “You’re both great friends. I’ll let her know you’ll be here tonight, okay?”

“Can’t wait. It’ll be lovely to see you both.”

“Right, well, comfy clothes, okay? We can have a nice girls night in.”

“Comfy clothes. Snacks. Wine. Got it.” Hannah laughed. “Anything else?”

Paige couldn’t think of anything else off the top of her head. She was sure she’d forget something, but this had been done on a whim so Juliet would forgive her. “No, that should be plenty. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Bye, Paige.”

The call ended just as Juliet stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped up in an extra thick fluffy robe. Paige could only watch her, adoring these vulnerable moments with Juliet. From the moment they’d met, Juliet had been the strong and supportive one. Now that the roles had been reversed, Paige was adjusting. But she was doing just fine.

“That may have been the greatest idea you’ve ever had,” Juliet said as she tiptoed across the floor. “Were you talking to someone?”

“Yep. Hannah.”

“Oh. Is she okay? I keep meaning to get in touch with her. It’s been a few weeks since we’ve seen them.”

Juliet was right. They’d only been over to the apartment once since Juliet was discharged from the hospital. Hannah and Caz would understand that Juliet and Paige were just taking things in their stride, though. “Well, I’ve just solved that problem.”

“H-how?” Juliet’s brows drew together.

“They’re coming over tonight. Girls night in with us. Wine and comfies.” Paige hoped Juliet would be interested in a night with the girls, but if she chose to cancel, that was understandable. “I just thought it would be nice to have a normal evening with friends. You know, take your mind off stuff and that.”

“I think it’s a great idea.” Juliet held Paige’s hip and leaned in to kiss her. The one thing they hadn’t lost lately was the intimacy of cuddles and kisses. “Do we need to go out to get some supplies in?”

“No, I think we’re good. They’re bringing stuff with them.”

Juliet wrinkled her nose. “Paige, you can’t invite friends over and ask them to bring their own food and drink.”

“I…can, and I did. Hannah was fine about it.” Paige waved a hand between them, focusing on the tacos. “Unless there was something in particular that you wanted, we have plenty of stuff here. I did a huge shop a few days ago, and you’ve barely touched a thing.”

“Okay, okay.” Juliet took a step back and pulled out a stool at the breakfast bar. Once she was sitting comfortably, she fisted her hand under her chin and gazed back at Paige. “Have you spoken to Stephen recently?”

“Only to let him know we’d still be paying him while the bar is closed.”

Juliet nodded. “Was he okay about it?”

“About being paid to not work? I’m sure he was more than okay about it.” Paige laughed and plated up lunch. “He did say he was ready to go back whenever we decide to reopen. That he wouldn’t look for another job.” Paige eyed Juliet as she said that, gauging her reaction to the idea of the bar opening again one day. She only wore a neutral look, though. “If that’s something you ever want to do.”

“Which?”

“Reopen the bar,” Paige said. “You may never want to step foot in there again.”

“Oh, Cara has taken enough from me lately. There is no way she’s taking the bar, too. That place is what it is because of us. We met there, Paige. We fell in love there.”

“I know. But I also know that it may not be so easy for you to go back there. Fuck, I found it hard enough during those days when you were…recovering. Asleep.”

“In a coma.” Juliet corrected.

“Y-yes. That.” Paige hated remembering that time. Even if Juliet was sitting in the kitchen right now, even if she had just kissed Paige, when she was taken back to that time, her stomach churned. “Anyway, it’s not important right now. And if it’s never important again, I get it. That’s all I wanted you to know.”

“I’d…like to go there.”

Paige watched Juliet for a moment or two, trying not to make a big deal out of them going to the bar. “O…kay.”

“I’m serious, Paige. If I’m ever going to get back to some kind of normal life, the bar is the place to start. After all, it was the place where it happened. If I cannot bring myself to go inside, then I think it’s safe to say we have to let it go.”

While Paige would be a little upset to see the bar under new ownership, she didn’t hate the idea completely. Juliet’s mental health was the only thing that mattered. Now and in the future. “Whatever you want to do, okay? Whenever you’re ready, you just let me know, and I’ll be by your side.”

“It’s just the thought of seeing my own blood on the floor that worries me.”

Paige smiled. “All taken care of, babe. Henry and I tried to get rid of it, but we chose to lay new flooring in that area instead.”

“You see, now this is another reason I’m marrying you.”

Paige grinned as she left their lunch ready on the counter and stepped between Juliet’s legs. “Oh, yeah? Do you have a list or something?”

“Far too many to list.” Juliet held Paige’s jaw gently. “But mostly because I’m madly in love with you.”

“Well, that’s enough for me.” Paige leaned in and kissed the tip of Juliet’s nose. “We’re going to be okay. Whatever happens in the future with the bar, we’re always going to be okay. I promise you.”

“I know.” Juliet lay her head against Paige’s chest and sighed. “You’re the only thing I’m sure about lately.”