Chapter Five
Sonya
What had started out as a fantastic idea had rapidly… devolved. Not only had I made a fool of myself, but I had touched Archangel without permission, which had put him in a tenuous position. Especially if my father found out. If the positions had been reversed, there was no one in either Salvation’s Bane or Black Reign who wouldn’t kill Archangel for taking advantage of me. I get the dynamics were different and he was both mentally -- in terms of age and life experience -- and physically my superior. He could have fought me off where I’d have been at his mercy. But the end result was still the same. I’d sat at the table with every intention of playing off the whole incident, but the truth was, what I’d done was inexcusable.
Before Archangel could say anything, I ducked my head so he couldn’t see tears forming. “I’m sorry, Archangel.” I whispered. “I didn’t think about what would happen after. I only thought about what I wanted and that if you didn’t, you’d stop me.”
Archangel let out a long breath. Then he reached out to put both his big hands over mine. “Look at me, Sonya.” I shook my head, but he simply reached out with one hand and tilted my chin up. “Yes.” When I still refused to look at him, he brushed my lower lip with his thumb. “Give me your lovely eyes, little Sonya.”
I gasped in a small breath. There was such gentleness in his voice and touch, I had to comply. But when I met his gaze, the heat and need I saw reflected my own. Sex with Archangel had surpassed my every fantasy and left me longing for so much more. Looked like he’d enjoyed himself too.
“Sonya.” His voice was rough, gravelly as he stared into my eyes intently, obviously wanting me to believe whatever he was about to say next. “Whatever you think you did wrong, don’t. If I’d truly wanted to stop things before they got out of hand, I could have. My inaction is on me.”
His eyes were swirls of gray and green that seemed to shift with his emotions, but there was a softness in them that caught me off-guard, making my chest tighten and my breath catch. I wasn’t sure exactly what he was feeling, but whatever emotion was dominant was something he embraced with his whole heart. Archangel was a hardened man with internal walls built out of concrete and steel. Yet, here he was revealing a vulnerability I was quite sure he’d rarely shown to anyone before.
“I’m sorry.” I couldn’t help the apology. It needed to be said.
“OK. Apology accepted.” He gave me a hint of a smile. “The real problem is, you’re right. You didn’t think.” His tone was gentle, and he didn’t break eye contact with me. “What you did, Sonya… It was dangerous. Reckless even. As much as you enjoyed it, as fan- fucking -tastic as it was for me, we can’t ignore the possible consequences.”
“I understand that,” I replied in a barely audible whisper. A single tear slipped and traced its way down my cheek. I was well aware of the damage that could already have been done. We hadn’t used a condom, but I couldn’t say I’d have done anything differently if I’d been given the opportunity. So, yeah. He was right about consequences. What kind of person did that make me?
His gaze softened, and he reached out to wipe my tear away with his thumb, his touch tender and lingered longer than I’d have liked given he hadn’t declared his undying love for me. I knew that was a laughable fantasy, but it was still my fantasy. “It’s going to be okay, Sonya. But we need to clear a few things up.” His voice had an intensity I found impossible to ignore.
He leaned back in his chair, giving both of us space to breathe. I watched him swallow hard, the movement of his Adam’s apple jerking my heart in a painful beat. Archangel didn’t seem like a man who was at loss of words, yet here he was struggling to find the right ones. And even though I wanted him to speak, to clarify the muddled mess in my mind, I also dreaded his next words because they might shatter me completely.
“Sonya.” The word came out barely audible, as if caught in his throat. “What happened between us… it can’t happen again.”
I’d known he was going to say something like this. He wasn’t wrong. Hearing him voice it, though, was a punch to my gut. I stood slowly and moved to the window in front of the counter running along half the back wall. I braced my hands on the flat surface and took a deep breath. I was very much afraid I might cry if I didn’t get a grip on myself. I wasn’t sure what hurt more, his words or the fact he was right.
After a moment, I felt Archangel move in behind me. His body caged me in, his hands on either side of me where I stood with my back against the counter, which surprised me. He was telling me that us having sex had been wrong, but now he was all up in my space? I gritted my teeth against the urge to lean back against him. I still had some pride.
“Sonya.” His voice was rich with emotion when he finally spoke again. He pressed his body against me. I sucked in a breath. I could feel the heat coming off of him. How was I supposed to resist this attraction when he was clearly baiting me?
“I don’t mean to hurt you.” His voice faded away like a summer breeze before he could finish, leaving behind an emptiness that echoed the hollow feeling inside me.
I turned to face him then, preparing to meet those gray eyes of his with an unconcerned look. “You didn’t.” I smiled up at him. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have touched you without your permission.”
“Honey, I don’t care about that.” He was looking at me intently now. His brows drew together as he continued to stare at me. Then Archangel shivered slightly, his eyes narrowing. His jaw clenched. Very slowly, he leaned back away from me. He didn’t take his hands from the counter or his gaze away from mine. “Fuck me,” he whispered. The next thing I knew, Archangel was kissing me like his life depended on it. And I surrendered to him.
The feel of his lips against mine was like nothing I’d ever known. They were firm and demanding, yet tempered. There was something far more intimate in Archangel’s kisses that left me with no room to think about anything else but the taste of him and the way he made me feel. His hand slid up my spine and into my hair, holding me still as he plundered my mouth like he was starving for me. I knew I was starving for him. I’d had a taste before and wanted so much more.
He pulled away abruptly. Breathing heavily, he stared down at me. “I can’t do this. Not with you.” He shoved away and walked out of the cabin, leaving me standing there, shaking and lost. OK, that comment hurt. Not with me?
I followed him out the door, fully expecting to have to hurry to catch him before he got inside his own cabin. Surprisingly, he stood just outside on the tiny porch, bracing himself against the railing with his hands. He was obviously struggling with something, but I had my own thoughts to worry about. Like I’d let this man take me to unmanageable heights and wasn’t willing to never experience sex with him again.
“What does that mean?” I demanded, moving around to see as much of his face as I could. I needed to see his expression clearly. “Not with me.”
“It means I’m not fucking you. Not again.” If I were guessing -- and I totally was because Archangel was good at covering his emotions -- I’d say he totally wanted to fuck me again.
“Well, that’s unfortunate.” I tried to sound light and airy, like none of this actually mattered to me. “I was hoping to find out more about your path of philosophy. But if you’re giving up already, I must be more than you’re used to handling.” It was a calculated risk, baiting Archangel, but I threw out my line and waited to see if I’d made a fool out of myself or hooked me a whale. Or a shark.
“Don’t do that.” He growled. “Don’t use your fucking wit to try and manipulate me.”
I held my hands up in surrender. “Fine. So, who’s up for a movie and some popcorn?” I grinned, needing to back off and come at him from a different angle. This was a very bad idea. A very bad idea. But I had this sickness. Once I started something, I had to finish. Call it morbid curiosity. I wasn’t sure where this road was going to lead, but I was hauling ass down it as hard as I could go.
Archangel gave me a threatening look, actually going so far as to point a finger at me. He opened his mouth to say something but promptly closed it again. His gaze swept me from head to toe, his nostrils flaring. “Did you put on underwear?”
The question caught me off guard, but this was my opening. If he ended this little therapy session, I’d never get another chance to be with him because he’d never put himself in a situation where I’d have the chance. Then my lips tugged upward and I couldn’t stop the words that I uttered next. “Why would I have done that?”
“Christ, woman!” Archangel lunged for me, fisting his hand in my hair. His kiss was brutal, his tongue darting between my lips to claim what he refused to admit he wanted. The intensity of it left me breathless, as if he was trying to consume the very air I breathed.
He pressed his body against mine, pushing me back against the door of the cabin. His cock hardened against my belly and a wave of satisfaction washed through me. Archangel might have been saying one thing, but his body was telling a very different story. No doubt he wasn’t happy with himself or the situation, but he was going to fuck me again. I just had to keep pushing and not let up for an instant.
I wound my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. His hand tightened in my hair as he thrust his tongue deeper, tasting every part of my mouth. As quickly as he’d started kissing me he broke away, panting heavily. He pulled back just enough to look at me, his gray eyes dark and filled with a torrent of emotion I wasn’t sure he understood. Granted, I was no expert, but I swore Archangel looked like he was both completely lost and right where he wanted to be.
I thought he’d pull back again, maybe leave me here for the night, which I couldn’t allow, but he stared down into my face for long moments. His grip tightened in my hair, and he pulled me up to meet his lips again. His other arm tightened around my back, clamping me to him like an iron band. He lifted me and I locked my ankles around his waist as he got us inside and to the bed.
Archangel shoved me down on the bed, taking in every inch of my body with a hunger that both terrified and thrilled me. He stripped out of his clothes, his movements brutal and swift. I held my breath as he crawled back on top of me, his cock hard and leaking pre-cum against my stomach. He leaned in, his forehead resting against mine. “You make me feel things I shouldn’t.”
“You make me feel things I can’t get enough of. I want more.” My hand slid over the muscled expanse of his back, trailing down until I cupped his ass with both hands. He groaned and kissed me again, grinding his cock against my bare pussy.
“Get your fuckin’ shirt off, woman.” His snarl made me shiver and cry out. I obeyed as fast as I could, shrugging out of the T-shirt. He helped before tossing the garment to the floor and lying fully on top of me.
All that delicious muscle pressed me into the mattress again. I had almost made myself believe I’d imagined how good it felt to have Archangel in such a dominant position over me. I was at his mercy. At the moment, he looked like he had none.
I shifted my hips and Archangel slid inside me with his next thrust. When he did, he jerked like I’d slapped him, a glaze seeming to go over his eyes. Something like euphoria glimmered in his eyes before he slid them shut and groaned.
He held himself deep inside me, letting out his breath slowly as he rested his forehead against mine. “Fuck…” Archangel breathed the word like a prayer. Then he moved inside me, starting out slow but getting faster and harder with each stroke. I welcomed him with a moan, tightening my legs around him to hold him close. Archangel drove inside me, his hips slamming against mine in an almost violent rhythm. The breath slammed out of me as he rode me. He nudged my head to the side and latched on to my neck, sucking. Leaving his mark.
My heart rejoiced even as my head tried to tell me to slow down and take this for what it was. Scratching an itch. Hooking up. Sure, I’d push him for all I was worth. I’d push until he pushed back. But I knew it would eventually end.