Chapter 19 - Ronan
I’m not naive; at least, I don’t think I am.
But I wasn’t prepared at all for the intensity of the knotting process, or the rutting that followed.
After the knot lessened enough for me to slip free, I wrapped Ava in a towel and carried her through into the bedroom.
I thought that knotting her would give me the relief I needed, and it did for a moment, only to return with a vengeance.
It didn’t satisfy my hunger; it only opened the floodgates.
I barely remember how we made it to the bed, but suddenly I was pushing her down onto her knees on the thick, soft rug, the towel somewhere behind us, forgotten.
My cock is still hard, the knot has receded but is not gone, and a gleam of fresh cum is beading at the tip.
My whole frame shuddered with need. I needed it in her mouth, I needed to fuck like my life depended on it.
From the wild look in her eyes, I knew she felt the same.
I didn’t even have to ask. She reached for my cock, guiding it between her lips, and I groaned, low and ragged, as she took me all the way to the back of her throat.
She gagged, and the pressure on my cock was almost too much, but I still wanted more.
My mouth watered at the sight of her tasting my cum, moaning around my thick length.
My hands clutched her silky hair, dragging her closer still as I let her fuck her own mouth on my cock until her eyes filled with tears.
“Goddess, Ava,” I gasp as my hands tighten in her wet hair. I’m trying not to hurt her, but it’s so hard to force myself to hold back. I’m so desperate to take control. My wolf wants to give in to the rut, and I’m almost helpless against the tide.
I’ve been with plenty of women, but it’s never been like this.
It was never even like this when we were together before, and that was the best I’ve ever had.
The knot, the rut, all of this takes the sensation to a whole other level.
This is a primal joining of an omega with her alpha—a breeding.
The knowledge of what we’re doing sends a thrill racing down my spine, and the knot begins to thicken again.
I pull my cock free from her throat, and she cries out in frustration.
I guide her onto her knees, running my cock through her slick before pushing inside. Her channel flexes around my cock, pulling me deeper. She was made for this, made for me.
It’s different this time, almost gentle at first, the way I grind my cock slowly inside and let the knot bloom inside.
It stretches her hold until she’s writhing and gasping on my cock.
I lean over her back, pushing it deeper until I feel like she might rip open.
Knowing I need to help her through the process, I use my thighs to wedge her legs wider to give her some relief from the size of the knot.
Reaching around, I feel her clit and realize how engorged it is.
The knot has pushed it forward, and now it’s begging for attention, so I rub gentle circles on the sensitive nub until she’s begging for more.
I work her clit while grinding the knot deep inside until my thighs tremble and my vision blurs.
The whole universe collapses down to the stretch of her channel around my knot, the relentless pressure of her body milking my cock, and the filthy sound of my own voice telling her to take it.
My orgasm builds so quickly, so violently, I think I might black out.
When it hits, the pleasure is sharp, almost painful, and I buck my hips, driving the knot as deep as possible, my whole body spasming against the force of it.
My cock is squeezed so tightly by her channel that I snarl, the sound guttural as I bite down hard on her shoulder, pinning her down as if she were prey.
I can feel every pulse of my cock, every jet of cum, and it’s never-ending.
She cries through her orgasm as her body takes my seed, milking me dry.
I don’t remember falling asleep, but I remember waking to the pressure of her channel, my cock still buried deep inside her, the knot thick and unyielding. Barely awake, the rut starts again and continues until I don’t think my body can give any more seed.
Waking again with our bodies entwined, I can feel her heat has finally broken.
I pull her closer, savoring the moment. Maddox is dead, and I know I have to go see the family of my beta.
The council will be formed, and they will want an inquest—thankfully short, as there were so many witnesses.
The relief I feel is palpable. I thought I’d feel guilty if I ever had to take Maddox out, but he crossed too many lines.
His death was justified, and all I feel is relief.
I know I’ve made mistakes with Ava. I should have handled her return differently, and now, I will. I feel her stirring and stroke her hair from her face. When I realize she’s crying, my heart drops.
“Did I hurt you?” I ask quietly, the sadness in her features stunning me. “The rut was more powerful than I expected.”
She shakes her head, “N-no,” she says, clearly trying to fight the tears, blushing. “The knot was more…more than I ever imagined.”
At that, I grin, feeling exactly the same way. “It sure was,” I chuckle, my hand finding her belly and stroking her pale skin. “Do you think there will be pups?”
Nodding, she rests her hand on mine. “I do.” She pauses, a thousand emotions flickering across her face, including uncertainty and fear. I know I need to do something to try and put things right between us—something that goes beyond breeding her in heat.
“Ava, I’m so sorry,” I begin. “You should be happy about pups, but I’ve made this so hard.
I’ve treated you badly, not accepted you properly.
Forgive me? I was stupid. A true alpha would own his desires, and I know you’ll be good for this pack.
I doubted you, but why would you embrace your role when I didn’t acknowledge our history and what it really meant?
You’re everything my wolf has ever wanted, and you will be the luna, properly.
We will be a family in every sense of the word.
We always should have been. You’re it for me, you always were. ”
If I was expecting tears of joy, I was completely mistaken.
The tears fall, but she appears grief-stricken, and I freeze.
I don’t regret our breeding, but what if she does?
I’ve never felt doubt like this in my whole life, and my wolf paces.
I give her a moment to compose herself, unsure if there’s anything else I can say, anyway.
I can’t stop her from rejecting me. When she does look at me, the fear in her eyes is palpable.
“There’s something I have to tell you,” she manages, her voice trembling. “It’s about why I came back. Why I stood on that stage.”
I don’t move, but my whole body tenses, the muscles in my jaw flexing.
“My parents. They never forgave the pack or your father for what happened. They planned to use me. They…they had a plan for revenge.” Her face is contorted by sorrow, or perhaps disgust. I don’t say anything, I just need to hear the whole story first. “They told me if I didn’t come back for the ceremony, if I didn’t get close to you, then I’d never see my daughter again. ”
I recoil in shock. “Your daughter?” She’s had a child with someone else.
She’s been bred by another wolf. My beast goes crazy, gnashing his teeth.
I know I need to get a grip on my emotions before I tear the world apart.
I force myself to calm, and my next words are deliberately flat as I scan her face for lies. “You have a child?”
She nods, her whole body trembling. My blood runs cold, and I don’t know how to react. Her next words stun me even more. “We have a daughter.”
I have a daughter.
I don’t answer, not at first. I just stare at her beautiful face, trying to fathom a little girl with our combined features. I grind my jaw, unable to decide if I’m angry or simply floored—or both.
Finally, I pull myself together and remember what she said about her parents. “Where is she?”
The question seems to punch the air from her lungs. “My parents have her,” she says. “They said if I didn’t do what they wanted, I’d never see her again. That’s why I came back. I had to try, Ronan. I had to get her back.”
I stand, moving to the window, every muscle in my body drawn tight.
I knew it. I fucking knew it. I knew she was hiding something.
I’m so angry I can feel it radiate through my entire body.
Am I angry at myself, Ava, or her parents?
All of us? “Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, my voice low, dangerous.
She takes a shaky breath, and I steel myself to hear the rest of her story. “I didn’t even know I was pregnant until after we’d been banished. When my parents found out…” I pause, a fresh sob erupting. “They made me live in the outbuilding, and I gave birth there.”
“Alone?” I snap. She gave birth to our daughter alone. It’s a miracle the pup has survived.
She nods, pausing as if trying to find the words to adequately explain. “All she knows is me. They never bothered with her, ignored her. They didn’t even give me extra food. Then one day, I’d been chopping some wood, I came back, and she was gone—”
“They took her? You’re sure?” I snap, staring out the window. “Why? Why would they do that?”
She wipes her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Leverage. They knew I’d do anything for Sophie. They thought I’d make this work if I had something to fight for.” She almost laughs, but it’s a bitter sound. “And they weren’t wrong.”
I turn around to face her properly and stare into the heartbreak written all over her face, but I’m too angry to offer any comfort. “You said there was a plan.” I know my tone may seem cold, but I need to know everything before I can fully grasp the gravity of the situation. “What was it, exactly?”
She looks down at the blanket, twisting it in her hands. “They wanted me to get close to you. To make you trust me. And then…” The words catch in her throat. “They wanted me to kill you. Or die trying.”
The silence in the room is absolute, as if even the air is holding its breath.
I don’t say anything, I can’t. I’m frozen in a mixture of rage and disgust. They must have known an omega could never kill an alpha; it’s almost laughable.
If she’d tried, would I have killed her?
I could never kill Ava—but they don’t know that.
I thought the rage I felt toward Maddox yesterday was the more heightened expression of primal hatred I could ever experience, but I realize now that was nothing.
Nothing against the level of rage I feel toward her parents.
And Ava? Her heartbreak is palpable, but that doesn’t change the fact that she lied to me. I can’t separate my feelings about any of it at the moment, so I don’t even try, afraid I’ll say or do something I regret. It’s best I say very little and get out of here. Better for Ava.
I walk toward the door, trying not to even look at her. I can’t look, or I won’t be able to leave her. She reaches for my hand, and I freeze. “All this time…” I start, but can’t even finish the sentence.
“Ronan, I—” she begins, but I raise my hand to stop her.
“Enough,” I roar. “You’ve done enough—”
Panicked, she scrambles to her feet, discarding the blanket and standing in front of me, naked and completely vulnerable. “She’s my baby, she’s everything,” she sobs.
“Would you have killed me?” I ask plainly, my eyes raking over her naked body.
She shakes her head. “Never. I could never.” The honesty in her voice and the pain in her eyes tell me it’s the truth.
I let the words hang in the air for a moment, and it takes everything in me not to pull her into my arms. However, I don’t know how I feel about her betrayal yet, and there is something far more important I need to attend to.
I need to let my wolf take action; I need to be the alpha my pack and family need me to be.
When I speak, I know my words sound cold, but I need to put some distance between us while I figure out what to do and how I feel about everything. I need to get my head around the situation. “You’ll stay here,” I tell her.
“Ronan, please—”
“I will have three betas on the house, effective immediately. You do not leave. Emily will be sent over to stay with you.” A plan forming, I’m already moving, gathering my jeans from the floor and tugging them on with hands steadier than I really feel.
“When I return, we’ll decide what happens next. ”
“No.” Her voice cracks. “Don’t leave, please—she’s my baby, Ronan, I have nothing left, I—”
I stop at the door and realize I’m gripping the frame so hard my knuckles have turned white. “You had a thousand chances to tell me,” I tell her, my wolf already in my eyes.