Chapter 5

Mia

I haven’t stopped thinking about my sexy stranger since the moment he walked away.

When I was able to recover and peel myself off the wall and walk back to the table, I downed a few shots to settle my frayed nerves and waited for Aria and Gia to find their way back to me. They took one look at me and grinned like fools at each other, knowing something happened. Luckily, they waited until we were safely back in their apartment and away from listening bodyguards to grill me about what happened. I gave them a rather PG-13 version because I want to keep it all as a memory that’s just mine.

I tossed and turned that entire night, then spent all of yesterday doing some retail therapy with the help of Aria and Gia so I could distract myself. I used the credit card Nico gave me years ago without a second thought as to what I bought, figuring I’d earned it for what I’m going to do for the family. What I’m sacrificing. My fucking future.

Now, I’m standing in front of the full-body mirror in my walk-in closet, studying my reflection.

Am I trying too hard?

No, I think it’s just enough. It’s exactly how my future husband will probably expect me to dress and look. Damn it, I wish I could show up in a comfy sweat suit, fuzzy slippers, my hair up in a bun, and no makeup on. But then my brothers would know my game and so would Santino. They’d see it as a childish ploy, and I want to be taken seriously.

I want to broker a deal with Santino and I need him to take me seriously and not see me as a petulant kid who isn’t getting her way when I do so. I need to walk in there with confidence and my head held high knowing I hold the power.

He already knows who I am.

He already knows what I look like.

He requested me.

Clearly, he’s not intimidated by my family, and I hate that that makes my hate for him dim just the slightest knowing he has the confidence to not give a shit what my brothers and cousins might’ve done to him for being so arrogant.

That puts me at an even greater disadvantage than I already was. I only know his name. I suppose I could’ve texted Katarina to ask her if he’s attractive or nice or weird, seeing as she was in my position a year ago, but those things don’t really matter, do they? None of it will keep my anger at bay when I get him alone today to tell him exactly how I feel about being used as a bargaining chip in a business transaction.

I check my watch and see that I have fifteen minutes until I need to be downstairs. Deciding it looks a little lonely on my wrist, I add a thin gold cuff and two dainty gold chain bracelets, as well as a gold ring on my left middle finger and a stack of thin gold rings with diamonds on my right ring finger. I finish off my jewelry with simple stud diamond earrings in gold settings.

The emerald around my neck glints in the light and I run my finger over it, a small smile pulling at my lips despite everything. My dad gave it to me on the last Christmas before he was killed. He told me he had no idea what to get me, but when he saw this necklace, the green of the emerald reminded him of the time we decided to chop down our own Christmas tree one year. I had gotten so mad because Nico and Vinny wouldn’t let me get a turn with the saw. My dad saw me pouting off to the side and made Nico and Vinny let me finish cutting it down even though I struggled by myself with my noodle arms, and then they were mad because I got to do the best part.

My dad was good like that. He never liked seeing me upset and always did what he could to make me smile and happy.

Sighing, I close my eyes and count to five.

My dad isn’t here.

Everything that’s happened to our family in the past seven years has stemmed from the killing of my dad and uncle by our rival family, the Cicariellos. After that, Leo took over as the head of the family from his father, and my brothers and cousins all stepped up into new roles as well. My uncles decided to step aside and let Leo run the businesses, knowing it was time for the younger generation to take over.

I’m not privy to the ins and outs of everything they do, but I do know that our family is the one every organization wants a piece of and tries to take down. Especially in the last few years.

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, and open them again to look at the woman staring back at me.

You can do this.

You’re strong.

You will survive this.

He doesn’t own you.

You have the power.

I check my watch again and sigh. Six more minutes.

There’s a knock at my bedroom door. “Mia, are you almost ready?”

my mom asks.

I roll my eyes. I’m the one in this place that has kept track of everything since my dad died, so she should know I’m well aware of what time it is. But of course, I don’t dare tell my mom everything I truly wish to.

Grabbing my purse, I open my bedroom door and look my mother in the eye. “I’m ready.”

She peruses me from head to toe and back. “Good choice.”

She nods, appreciating the relatively modest black dress I chose to wear with sheer pantyhose and black heels. “Although, I think a little color would have been nice.”

“I thought black was quite fitting seeing as it’s a funeral of sorts I’m walking into, don’t you think?”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Mia,”

she says harshly, surprising me. “You’re meeting your husband, not burying him.”

Regret seeps into me, and I kiss my mom’s cheek as I pass her. “Sorry, mom.”

“Mmhmm,”

she hums. “You know, if your father were alive, he’d be proud of you.”

I turn around so fast, a wave of dizziness hits me, and I blink rapidly to get myself under control. I’m so sick of being the peacekeeper in this house that I find myself being brutally honest for once. “If dad were here, and I was in this same situation, I wouldn’t want him to be proud of me. I’d be mad as hell at him. Don’t try and tell me how he’d feel if he were here again. You should concern yourself with what you’re going to do when I’m not living here anymore.”

“I think I’ll survive,”

she spits back, a fire in her eyes I haven’t seen in a long time. She really has no idea how much I’ve done for her since my dad died. Or, if she does, she doesn’t see it as significant enough to make an impact on her life when I’m gone.

I’m once again reminded that I’m simply an afterthought to everyone in my immediate family.

Fine.

Just fine.

Nico can deal with her from now on.

Without saying another word, I walk out of the apartment that’s felt like a chain around my ankle for the past few years, keeping me on a short leash. And now, as I rattle the chain, I feel it loosen its grip as the elevator descends and I inch closer to the next chain waiting to tether me in place – Santino Antonucci.

Closing my eyes, I let my mind wander to my sexy stranger, and my body tingles, almost like I can still feel his warm breath against my ear telling me everything he wants to do to me.

His parting words, I’ll find you again, my little butterfly, ring in my ears as the elevator dings and the doors slide open on the third floor. I know they’re all here, waiting for me, but my feet remain planted.

Do you think your husband would mind sharing you?

I’ll find you again, my little butterfly.

There will be no sharing and there will be no more seeing.

The doors begin to slide closed again and I open my eyes, staring down the corridor as it disappears. Sighing, I press the button for the doors to open again, and I make my feet move, ignoring the shaking of my legs.

I won’t show any fear.

I won’t show any nerves.

Only anger. Only contempt.

That’s all I have to cling to that feels real right now.

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