Astor Hill

Epilogue

Olivia

I slip on the black silk chiffon dress, trying to reach the back zipper, when I feel a large, rough hand run across my lower back. Ben lowers his mouth to my ear, his minty breath making my spine tingle.

“Let me help you with this,” he murmurs, the brush of his fingers on my skin sending a rush through me.

Even after the past few weeks, I can’t help the flush that spreads up my chest and I feel Ben’s smile before I see it. I turn and take him in in his Tom Ford suit, tailored to fit him in exactly all the right places. My eyes soak in every inch of him. It’s sometimes shocking just how dreamy he is, and that’s on a normal day.

Tonight, in this suit, Ben Cabot is possessing.

I let him zip me up, giving him a demure smile.

“We can’t be late Ben, Gen would be so upset.” I swat him with the back of my hand, but he catches it, kissing the back of it lightly.

“I never thought I’d see the day you’d be concerned with upsetting Genevieve.”

I roll my eyes, even though I know he’s right. Not even a few months ago, I would have told anyone with ears that Gen was my sworn enemy. It seems unlikely that she would so rapidly become one of my closest friends, but alas here I am, in Ben’s grandfather’s townhome, getting ready for her performance as the Sugar Plum Fairy in The Nutcracker .

This is now the third time I have gone to Pop’s apartment and with only a week until Christmas it’s cozier than ever. There’s a fire crackling in the foyer and somewhere off in the distance Pop’s has a Bing Crosby Christmas record playing from a turntable.

I walk toward the full length mirror where Ben is now fidgeting with his tie. I begin straightening it for him and feel my blush creep back in under his gaze.

“I’m really happy, Liv.”

I smile still staring at the tie. “Yeah?”

He tilts my chin up to look at him, his brown eyes darken like they always do when he wants me to know he means what he’s saying.

“I’m really happy, Liv.”

I bite my lip trying to disguise my smile, but he stops me, pulling me in and kissing me. He explores my lips with his, timidly at first, before pulling me closer, his hand cradling the back of my head as he seems to drink me in, like he needs me to survive, and time seems to hit a standstill. I think every kiss with Ben is earth shattering, the best kiss I’ve ever had, and yet he always finds a way to one up himself. I pull away and I’m met with Ben’s ridiculously perfect face, his lips puffy and pink from the kiss and his eyes filled with so much intensity that I’m tempted to blow the entire night off and stay in bed with him. I pat his tie, reorienting myself, and move to the mirror, reapplying my now smeared lipstick.

There’s a light knock out the door and Ben clears his throat trying to get ahold of his own hormones, apparently.

“Come in.” His voice is hoarse, and I feel like I’m about to go feral with need, but I force myself to get it together. Will enters, holding one hand over his eyes.

“Everyone decent?” Ben chuckles and I roll my eyes.

If I’m being honest, the way Will and I so rapidly went from serious relationship to pretty good friends is shocking even to me. Maybe it’s due to the fact that him and Ben have gotten so close or this weird trauma bond we have since dealing with Lily’s death, but for whatever reason, any awkwardness we initially felt has basically disappeared.

“Um— you’re not dressed yet?” I can’t help but let frustration seep into my tone as I glance at my phone to check the time. “Will— we need to be there in like thirty minutes, get ready!” Will rolls his eyes.

“Last time I checked, you’re his girlfriend now. If I needed someone to nag me, I’d be living with my mother,” he says, gesturing to Ben.

“Will…” Ben’s tone is a deep rumble, warning his brother that he’s toeing the line with how he’s speaking to me, and I can’t help but want to rip Ben’s clothes off at this exact moment. Will rolls his eyes dramatically and plops down on the bed.

“Besides,” he continues, hands behind his head as he stares up at the ceiling. “I’m not going.”

Ben and I share a knowing glance. Ever since the whole story with Lily came out something has shifted with Will and Gen, and no one really knows why. Well… Ben doesn’t know why. I feel like I’m bursting with all of the secrets Gen and Sloane have trusted me with this past month, and after not having real girlfriends for the past two years, I really don’t want to break their trust. Thus, I have been a vault.

I perch next to Will on the bed, folding my hands over my knees.

“Would you like to talk about it, William?” I ask teasingly, tilting my head, and he sighs.

“Not really, no. I just— shouldn’t be there.” He glances at me as if to say he knows I know and to keep my mouth shut. I give him an incredulous look but remain silent. Ben, still fixated on making sure his tie is perfect, groans into the mirror.

“Will, what'd you do?”

Will props himself on his elbows. “Why do we all assume that I was the one to do something?”

“History,” I say.

“Reputation,” Ben chimes in.

“Okay, okay. Chill.” Will stands smoothing out his pants. “Everything is fine, I just want to be respectful and give her space. Especially on such a big night.”

I stand too, moving back toward Ben. “I think that’s very mature of you.”

“See. I’m mature ,” Will says to Ben.

“Uh-huh,” Ben says, barely paying attention.

“Dude, how are you going to play for the pros if you can’t keep up with a basic conversation?”

Ben sighs, giving up on the tie and yanking it off completely, which honestly is the hotter option anyway. He moves toward me putting his arm around my waist.

“I don’t actually know anything yet. The draft isn’t until July, so I’d appreciate it if you’d stop jinxing it.”

“Jinxing it?” I laugh. “Who knew you were so superstitious?”

“It’s hard not to be when all your wishes keep coming true.” Ben smiles, winking at me and my heart flips.

“Okay— barf. I’m leaving.” Will moves toward the door and I can’t help but laugh.

“You sure you’re okay, man?” Ben’s voice takes on a more serious tone.

Will turns to face us, walking backward through the door.

“I’m fine. Seriously. Have a good night you two, and please for the love of god use protection.” With that he slips out and I sigh.

“What am I going to do when you get drafted?” I let myself melt into Ben, reveling in the way his arms are wrapped around my waist.

“Well, hopefully it will be the Celtics who pick me and then you’ll be in the city just as much as I will, with your big new column and all.”

“Hmm,” I hum in contentment, spinning around to face him. He isn’t wrong— the Boston Common, home of my brand new column due to my fall out with Ian, is pretty much walking distance from the stadium. “It would be awfully convenient. I could just crash at your place after a long, arduous day at the paper…” I say wistfully, half joking and half serious.

“I think by that point it would be our place, though, no?” His eyes twinkle with mischief, but there’s a hint of something serious there, and I feel my heart beat in my chest.

“And how would that work?” I ask him, pretending to pick a piece of lint off his shoulder. “With me still at school and you…” I glance away, the reminder that a life of professional basketball also means one where he’s frequently gone. “... on the road.” I look back up at him, surprised to find him grinning.

“Well,” he starts, his hands traveling down my back until they rest, somewhat possessively, on my ass, “Astor is only less than an hour out from the city. So you could commute. And I—” he pauses, regarding me seriously. “I will always make coming back to you a priority, Liv.”

“And once I’m done with school?” I ask him, my heart in my throat. We’ve talked around this before, but one of us has always veered the conversation in a different direction. Like we haven’t wanted to scare each other with the implication of us, long term. And I don’t know if it’s the Bing Crosby, or the snow outside, or that I’m meeting his family next week, but I want to know.

“And once you're done with school… I would never ask you to stop your life for me, Liv. So if staying here, or moving to wherever, is what you want to do, then we’ll figure it out. And if you want to come on the road with me, then we’ll figure that out, too. Whatever it is,” he tells me, brushing a strand of my hair back, “we’ll figure it out. Together,” he grins.

“Together,” I sigh, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I love that sound of that,” I whisper in his ear, my lips trailing the side of his neck before he sweeps them up in an all too brief kiss.

“We have lots of time to do lots of things together, Beckett,” he smirks, that charming smile of his almost enough for me to forgive the way he redirects my advances. “But if traffic is anything like it usually is, we’ll barely make it before they close the doors.”

I groan, knowing he’s right, but not before mentally calculating just how icy Gen would be toward me if she found out I was late. With the newness of our friendship, it’s not worth the risk.

“You know…” he starts, his eyes twinkling with mischief, “Pop’s town car has a pretty good privacy screen from what I remember.”

“And you’re just now telling me this?” I grab his hand, leading him toward the front door. “ When you make the first draft pick, I expect a town car with a privacy screen to be the first thing we buy.”

“Oh, I already have ideas on the first thing I will buy.” He kisses my hand, I swear I feel his lips brush purposefully against my ring finger.

I grin up at him and his eyes sweep over me like I’m his most prized possession. Like everything could go to hell, but as long as we are here together everything will be okay. He laces his fingers through mine as he leads me into the courtyard, the trees glistening with Christmas lights as the first snow of the year makes its way down, a flake hitting the tip of my nose. He gently uses the pad of his thumb to wipe it away.

“I love you, Olivia Beckett,” he says, the tenderness of his gaze warming me despite the cold outside.

I wrap my arms around his neck and meet his gaze, unable to stop the grin from spreading across my face. The perfection of this moment isn’t squandered on me, the lights twinkling around us like a universe in which only we exist as a white blanket of snow seems to envelope the world at our feet.

I stand on my tip toes, grazing his lips with mine as I whisper, just for him to hear, “I love you too, Ben Cabot.”