Attached At Heart (Wildflower #3)

11. Delaney

CHAPTER ELEVEN

delaney

I FIDGETED WITH THE scalloped neckline of my familiar black dress, feeling uncomfortable in my own skin.

It had nothing to do with the dress and everything to do with tonight’s event. I hated these sorts of affairs, which felt like a parade of wealth—exactly the sort of thing that I hated from my childhood. I went into medicine to make a difference with my mind, not with my bank account, and I didn’t like the reminder that my hard work truly meant nothing without money, without funding, without financial backing.

It was the whole reason I was married to Blake, after all.

Money, money, money.

I was well aware of how much of a privilege it was to grow up in a wealthy home, to even have an inheritance at all—a fact I reminded myself of often, whenever my resentment for my family grew just a little too strong. But I still struggled with knowing what I gave up in exchange for wealth.

Smoothing a hand over my dress, I checked the time on my phone. I should stop lingering in the hospital hallways and make my way to the benefit, but I really didn’t want to. Anxiety balled in my stomach as I thought about having to make small talk with donors and wear a plastered smile all night. It wasn’t that it would be hard for me; on the contrary, I was all too good at schmoozing. But I hated it, hated that I learned to do it so young, hated the memories it evoked.

Resigned to my fate, I pushed myself off the bench that had been my home for the last twenty minutes while I tried not to panic and headed toward the benefit. As I grew closer, voices grew louder. Music cascaded down the hallways. It was the kind of orchestral sounds that had flooded my home growing up, symphonies that my mom pretended to appreciate.

It did nothing to help me feel at ease.

I paused at the end of the corridor because I knew as soon as I rounded the corner, there would be no going back. Not until the evening was done, not until I’d played nice and smiled so hard it made my jaw ache.

The tension in my stomach knotted tighter.

“You look great, Lane.”

And just like that, it loosened again.

Blake’s deep voice was the last thing I expected to hear echoing between these walls. My heart leapt into my throat as I spun, finding Blake a few steps away, striding confidently toward me. He wore a crisp tux, one hand tucked in the pocket of black dress pants. His dark, wavy hair was perfectly tousled on his head, while an anticipatory expression rested on his face as he waited for me to piece things together.

“You always look good in that dress,” he added as though he wanted to add to my speechlessness. But at least he didn’t point out that I kept wearing the same old thing repeatedly—my graduation dress.

“What are you…what are you doing?” I choked out.

Blake rocked to a stop a pace or two away, raising a single brow. “I thought that might be obvious.”

“But…” I scrunched my face up, and I knew that it was because, on some level, I was trying not to cry. “Why?”

Blake tilted his head, staring at me in a way that made my head spin. “This is your first event as an attending cardiologist, Delaney.”

I just stared back at him. Because I knew that. I was well aware of that fact. But it didn’t help to explain what he was doing.

“I know, better than anyone, how hard you worked for over a decade to get to where you are now,” Blake continued, giving me one of his intense, piercing gazes. “But I also know that you hate rich people events like this. Did you really think I was going to let you go alone?”

Hearing him confirm that he planned to come with me tonight nearly made me crumple with relief. Somehow, I managed to stay on my feet, but that was about all I was capable of. Words were too hard.

Blake nodded, comprehending my silence perfectly.

He closed the distance between us and grabbed my hand, the one that had been fidgeting with my neckline again. The tips of his fingers grazed my skin in the process, leaving little traces of heat and reassurance behind. He laced his fingers through mine and squeezed.

“Did you really think I wasn’t going to show up for my wife?”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat, trying to enforce reason and logic and not let emotion completely trample me. “I’m not—” I started, but a finger—Blake’s finger—stopped my words, pressing against my lips. His touch shut me up immediately.

I was used to Blake touching me, but I wasn’t used to feeling him against my lips, and everything about how we were standing, everything about our body language, suddenly felt intimate. Out of place. Shifted to a different dimension where we were the type of friends who knew what each other’s lips felt like.

Because we were now.

“Don’t,” he said, lethally soft.

So I didn’t. I didn’t point out the obvious. That I wasn’t really his wife. Even though I wanted him to know that this wasn’t something he needed to do, that I expected him to do. It wasn’t part of the deal.

“That’s not the point,” he muttered as an addition. “Let’s go, okay?”

And since I didn’t have the energy to argue, not when my nerves were already fried, I agreed.

“Okay, let’s go.”

I’d never been to this part of the hospital before.

How much money did they spend to build this lavish hall with its high ceilings and rows of tables and classy decor only to use it to raise more money—money that they might have had if they hadn’t used it on this?

“I know this is not your scene,” Blake whispered in my ear as we walked into the gala, “but you should take notes on the things you do like for the future.”

I frowned up at him. “For the future?”

“For your clinic,” he answered as though it was obvious. When he noticed people glancing in our direction, he wrapped his arm around my back, tucking me close to his body as we entered. “Someday, there will be a wealthy donor who wants to invest in you, too, Lane.”

My steps faltered at the thought, something that left me with a mix of emotions.

“It’ll be a fundraiser that’s on your terms,” Blake went on, reading my mind. “And you call the shots. It might not be so bad when you control the narrative.”

“ Will I control the narrative?” I questioned. “Or will the person with the money still hold that power?”

Blake gave a little nod of acknowledgment to my point but then added, “But you get to decide who you want to work with and whose money you want to accept.”

While that did give me some peace of mind, I shook my head. “We’re getting ahead of ourselves. I might not even have those kinds of options when we get to that point.”

“You will, Lane,” Blake said reassuringly, casting a warm look down at me.

“Dr. London! I’m surprised to see you here.” A man I didn’t recognize, with thinning blond hair and a congenial smile, practically jumped in front of us. He held out his hand, which Blake accepted, giving it a firm shake.

“Davis, nice to see you.”

The warmth on Blake’s face faded until he wore a placid expression, and he spoke in a tone I knew well. His voice came across strong but soft—an odd combination that could only ever explain Blake London. Or rather, Dr. London.

Dr. London was intelligent in a way that, to others in the medical community, sometimes made him seem like a know-it-all. He took things seriously; for some people, it was too serious. But it was only because he cared. Because he wanted to do right by people. Because he wanted everyone else to be just as much on top of their game as he was, knowing medicine was a collective effort. And the thing was, if, for some reason, you weren’t ready and you weren’t on your game, he’d help you get there.

Blake didn’t have ambition in the same way I did. He didn’t want to be the best. He wanted to be surrounded by the best. And fuck, did I admire him for that.

The blond man glanced from Blake to our surroundings with a puzzled look. “You haven’t already left your poor staff over at Boston Medical, have you?”

Blake shook his head. “No, no. I’m here with my wife tonight.” He nodded to me and then tightened his grip on my side, pulling me closer. “Dr. Delacroix is a cardiologist at SCMC.”

“Pleased to meet you,” I said, thrusting my hand out to greet the man with my own firm shake and wondering why Blake knew people here that I didn’t.

“How lovely.” Davis grinned, looking between me and Blake with amusement. “Two married cardiologists.” He laughed to himself. “There’s got to be a joke in there about hearts somewhere.”

Blake gave a tight smile, but when he spoke, it was with a huskiness that sent a shiver through me. “After years of listening to other people’s hearts, we finally took a second to listen to our own, and wouldn’t you know what happened?”

He punctuated that statement with a brush of his lips against my temple, and I felt my body temperature rise.

“I love that,” Davis said enthusiastically, clapping his hands together, getting a real kick out of Blake’s little play on words.

Meanwhile, those words made my stomach flip, even though I knew Blake was just doing what we were here to do—schmooze. So maybe the sensations in my lower belly had more to do with the way Blake’s fingers had trailed from my side to my lower back. They moved in soothing circles, like he was reminding me to relax.

It was a little hard to comply with that at the moment.

“You know,” Davis directed the words at me, and I stood up a bit straighter, which caused Blake to flatten his entire palm on my low back, supporting me. “I have so appreciated your husband’s CPR initiative. He’s not only donating his time to provide these free CPR classes, but he’s making it so accessible for all members of our community. This man is so determined to reach everyone that he can.”

It was a good thing I’d already trained my face into a fixed smile tonight because otherwise, I definitely would not have been able to fool this man into believing I knew anything that he was talking about. Blake had been doing what ?

When I opened my mouth but no words came out, Blake intervened. “Davis is the facilities manager I’ve been working with and has been kindly allocating space for the initiative at his clinic, which has ties to both the SCMC and Boston Medical networks.”

“That’s so great,” I gushed, glancing between Blake and Davis. I hoped it wasn’t too noticeable that I was blinking more than was really necessary.

“It’s my absolute pleasure,” Davis said before he saw someone else he knew and went to give them one of his hearty, enthusiastic handshakes, which seemed to be his standard way of greeting people.

“CPR initiative?” I asked as soon as Blake and I were alone again, pulling back to look up at him.

He shrugged, his eyes not really meeting mine. “It’s something I thought of when I first moved here. CPR can save lives, you know.”

“So I’ve heard,” I said, drawing out my words because I didn’t know what else to say to that.

Blake nodded. “So the more people who know how to do it, the more lives will be saved.”

He was spitting generic statements at me. There were things he wasn’t saying, and I had a suspicion of what they stemmed from and why he’d kept this close to his chest. If we were at home, I might have pressed him for more, but this wasn’t the place for diving into things that Blake kept under the surface.

“I think that’s amazing, Blake,” I said, earnest about that statement. Of course it was great. Of course he was great. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’d be happy to donate my time as well and teach a few classes.”

“It’s not a big deal,” he said, brushing aside my comment. “You’re already so busy, Lane. I mean, you’re putting together plans to open an entire specialty heart clinic. This is just…this is just a little something I wanted to do.”

I frowned and reached for his arm, squeezing it. “It’s not little. It’s clearly making an impact in the community, and I want to help.”

He nodded and finally met my gaze. “Okay. We can talk about it later, alright?”

“Sure,” I agreed, even though it bothered me that he was being so cavalier about the entire thing. But then again, that was Blake. Cool, calm, collected.

It’s just that wasn’t usually Blake with me .

“Let’s get you some food,” he said, switching the topic and steering me toward the crush of people, through the onslaught of sparkles and gems.

“Why are you saying that like you assume I haven’t eaten anything today?”

“Because I am one hundred percent assuming you haven’t eaten anything today.”

“Actually, I—” I stopped short at the sight of a man with graying hair and bushy brows and sharp, blue eyes. Shit . This was not a situation I’d prepared for. But I quickly realized that had been an oversight on my part.

“Lane?” Blake questioned. I could hear his brows furrowing.

But I didn’t look at him, too focused on the sight of my dad standing roughly ten feet away from us, surrounded by other men in identical black suits.

Of course he would be here—at an event that revolved around money and would make him look good at the same time, make it appear as though he gave a shit about anything that wasn’t himself.

He started to turn in our direction, and I knew I had about ten seconds before he saw us to decide how I wanted to handle the situation.

A part of me wanted to run.

But it was only the start of the evening, and I wouldn’t be able to make it through hours of this event without him catching a glimpse of me.

This wasn’t really great, seeing as I was here pretending with Blake. I’d been hoping to keep our marriage to myself for a bit before having to face the music with my parents. The longer I could avoid that mess, the better.

But on the other hand, I wouldn’t have very many opportunities to convince them that our marriage was real, considering I rarely saw them, so I might as well take advantage of this.

Besides, my dad was the easier target. Was I looking forward to his reaction? No, of course not. But he wasn’t going to care that I’d eloped in the same way as my mom. I wasn’t his pet project. I hadn’t been bred to live out his dreams before dumping them to the side the minute I saw an escape. I wasn’t the embodiment of his resentment. He wouldn’t view my marriage as another act of rebellion and disrespect, but my mom would. Just because I didn’t want to live the life she’d always wanted.

Maybe it was actually for the best if she heard about my marriage through my dad. Although Robert Delacroix was so wrapped up in his own world there was a good chance he wouldn’t even remember to mention anything to his wife about his daughter’s new husband.

Making a quick decision, I spun to face Blake.

“Okay, quick.” I stepped into him, eliminating the space between us, and Blake, whether by instinct or by some other force, locked his arms around my body to hold me against his chest. “My dad’s over there, and he’s about to see us. It would be really, really great if you could just look at me like you’re deeply in love or something.”

Blake’s brows rose slightly in surprise but then lowered again, and I waited. Waited for his expression to morph, to shift. I waited for him to play pretend.

But Blake just blinked down at me, his lips pressed tight with the tiniest curve, his brown eyes boring into my own with the faintest sparkle.

Exactly how Blake always looked.

Fuck, he’d been doing so good at this whole fake husband thing, and this was an awfully annoying moment for him to suddenly forget how to act.

I groaned.

“What?”

I shook my head. “Nothing. You’re just looking at me like you always look at me.”

Blake heaved a sigh. “Delaney?—”

“Maybe the occasion calls for it,” I blurted before I had a second to think about what I was saying.

He stilled. “You want me to kiss you?”

“Just a little.”

“You want me to kiss you…just a little.”

“Yeah, like just a peck or something. It is my dad .” I was talking at the speed of light at this point, but I needed him to understand. “But he doesn’t know we’re married, and I’m sure he isn’t going to believe it when I tell him in like two minutes, considering we weren’t even dat ? — ”

“Okay, Lane,” Blake hushed me, forcing me to relax with his assuring tone. “Just a peck.”

I nodded, trying to press myself closer to him, even though it wasn’t really possible. I could already feel the beat of Blake’s heart pounding against my chest. It was unusually quick, but then again, I’d suddenly put a lot of pressure on him to make believe in front of my dad when he’d never even met the man before, so I suppose that was warranted.

Blake cupped my cheek and bent his head, lowering his mouth so it was just a breath away. But then he hesitated, and now my heart had quickened its pace, too. I tried to tell myself that it was the circumstances, the ones I’d put us in, but I knew it was the anticipation, the excitement to feel the brush of Blake’s lips again, to test whether the kiss at our wedding had been a fluke or if it was something that could be standard for us. A spark that was real behind the pretense of something fake.

My eyes fluttered shut as Blake’s thumb caressed my cheek, like he was coaxing me into this kiss even though it had been my idea. I circled my arms around his neck, tugging him closer. So close I could feel his uneven breathing. So close I could feel his lips move as he cursed beneath his breath. So close I could feel my name when he murmured it against my mouth.

Was it this painful for him to just give me a peck on the lips?

Had he actually hated our first kiss, and I hadn’t even realized?

“Delaney?”

My name sounded again in my brain, but it took me a second to place it. Because for a moment, Blake had encompassed my entire world. And I’d forgotten that my dad was even here, in this room. Or that anyone was in this room, honestly.

Blake ripped his mouth away before our lips even had a chance to touch, and the feeling that tore through me was indescribable.

“Dad,” I said breathlessly as I turned, wondering if it was noticeable how hot my cheeks were. Blake’s hand had dropped to his side, but he still kept one arm around my back as we both faced the man who had, supposedly, raised me.

“I’ve been looking for you,” my dad said, coming to my side to pull me away from Blake and into an awkward, one-armed hug.

“I hadn’t been looking for you,” I replied honestly. “I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

My dad took a step back again, and his brows knitted together. “Didn’t I send over an email about it? I could have sworn I did.”

I shook my head and then tried not to roll my eyes. Because what father communicated with his daughter via email?

“Not that I saw.”

I had a better relationship with my dad than my mom. He didn’t pressure me the way she did growing up, but he also didn’t stand up to her when she treated me like her plaything, and I’d never quite forget or forgive that. He just didn’t care enough. Wasn’t around enough. Couldn’t be bothered to intervene and show up when it mattered.

This was the only time he’d cared about my work, and he’d forgotten that I was even involved in it.

“Huh.” Seeming stumped by that and not sure what else to say, my dad turned his attention to Blake. His eyes narrowed as they looked him up and down. “And who do we have here?”

“Dad, this is Dr. Blake London.”

“Ah,” my dad said in an assessing, judgmental sort of way, even as he stuck his hand out for Blake to shake. “Another doctor, huh?”

I could tell he wasn’t entirely impressed by that, but he wasn’t outright offended. I’d take it.

“It’s nice to meet you, sir,” Blake said, gripping my dad’s hand so hard my dad actually winced.

“Same, same,” my dad replied, shaking off the greeting as though it had already bored him.

Then again, we weren’t important people who he could impress and build connections with, which I was sure was the reason he was here tonight. I honestly couldn’t believe that it never occurred to me that I might see him this evening.

“Dad, Blake is, um—” I cleared my throat and then shifted on my feet, not sure if I’d be able to spit out the next part of this sentence. Blake gave me an encouraging squeeze. “Well, I know you’ve heard me talk about him before,” I said, deciding to ease into the reveal. “We went to med school together, remember? And we both did our cardiology fellowship at Mayo.”

“Oh yes, yes.”

My dad’s attention had drifted, his gaze surfing the crowd for other people to talk to.

“Well, we actually e?—”

“Oh, can you excuse me, honey?” my dad interrupted, pulling away from us before I even had a chance to respond. “I see someone who I’ve been trying to get in touch with for weeks . I’ll be right back. Come find you in a few.”

And just like that, he was gone.

I should have been upset, but relief swamped me instead.

My shoulders slumped as I dropped my weight against Blake. He seemed to be ready for it, holding me steady, unwavering in his support.

“Well, that was…” he started before realizing he didn’t know how to finish that sentence. Or maybe he just didn’t know how to finish that sentence without upsetting me.

But whatever he had to say wouldn’t bother me. I was well aware of my family’s reality.

It was, of course, the reason I didn’t really want one. A family, that is. Because how could I be a good wife or parent when I’d only had emotionally stunted examples? I would hate to do to anyone what my family had done to me.

“That was my dad,” I said with a sigh. “That’s just how he is.”

Blake echoed my sigh. His body swayed slightly like he was rocking me.

“Want me to get him to come back over here so you can finish telling him about us?”

“Nah.” It might be enjoyable to watch Blake try, but it wasn’t worth it. “This is probably for the best. At least for now.”

I could put off our marriage announcement until after the honeymoon. That way, I might have more proof that this was real and not just something my best friend and I had cooked up.

Blake remained quiet for a moment before murmuring, “If you want to go home, I’ll take you home.”

Did I want to stay here while my dad ignored me and made stuffy conversation with hospital benefactors? Absolutely not.

But I should stay.

I hadn’t made it this far just to let my dad dictate what I was going to do. I didn’t let him get in my way back when I first applied to med school, so I wasn’t going to let him now.

“I don’t want to go home. Not yet.”

I felt Blake nod. “Then let’s get you some food.”

This time, we made it across the room without any interruptions.

But for some reason, that made me a little disappointed.