20. Chapter 20
Chapter 20
A t the crack of dawn, I spent half an hour under the covers trying to devise an acceptable excuse to skip the planned long run with Jack. Nothing came to mind, at least nothing he’d believe. I definitely wasn’t ready to talk to him about the disaster that was last night. Reluctantly, I dragged myself out of bed, reminding myself of the old runners’ wisdom: the worst run is always the one you skipped. Or something like that.
The run was uneventful. With both of us wrapped up in our own thoughts, we didn’t speak much. Definitely not about Gregory or Irene or Annie or anything potentially contentious—none of the torturous thoughts and feelings disrupting my world the past few days.
But when we did talk, it was light and friendly. Nothing unusual. Normal and dependable, just as I liked it.
Still, I was glad to return to my apartment by myself.
Jenn called as I was unlocking my apartment door, and I answered reluctantly.
“Viv! I’ve been calling you all morning. The kids are at their grandpa’s house, and I’m dying for some adult talk. I’m so glad you picked up! Where were you so early on a Saturday?”
“Saturday long run. Jack and I had ten miles on the schedule for today,” I said as I wiped the sweat off my face.
“Oh.” Jenn paused. “How’d that go? You and Jack are good now?”
I exhaled loudly. “I think so. I don’t know. We didn’t get much chance to talk.”
“You spent two hours running with him, and you didn’t have a chance to talk? Explain.”
“Honestly, it was just too hot. Have you been outside yet this morning? It’s so bizarre for late March. Last weekend it was freezing, and today is hot—no, stifling. Hard to breathe. One of those kinds of runs, you know.”
Jenn didn’t really know, as she’d never been a runner, vastly preferring team sports if she had to do sports at all. She pressed on. “Oh, I see. How’s he doing then?”
“OK, I think?” I locked my door after putting my running gear on a nearby end table. “Honestly, my mind was elsewhere. I may have forgotten to ask how he was doing. But, you know, he’s Jack. He’s always doing fine, except when he’s not, and then he doesn’t really want to talk about it.”
Again, Jenn didn’t really know, as she wasn’t as close to Jack. Focusing on the other part of my reply, Jenn said, “Your mind was elsewhere, eh? Do tell!”
I took a long drink of ice-cold water as I contemplated my answer. The cold reminded me of the ice bath I should probably take soon. Like most humans, I loathed sitting in ice water, but I knew my sore legs would thank me later.
Jenn interrupted my thoughts. “ Viv! I’m not taking ‘no’ for an answer this time.”
I laughed. “I wasn’t saying ‘no.’ I was drinking some water. Running on a hot day like this—ah, you don’t care about that,” I said, sighing.
“You’re right, I couldn’t care less,” Jenn conceded. “Not when you’ve got juicy stories for me. I know you do! You and Dr. Gregory?”
“I don’t know about juicy, but …” I said, pausing to take a deep breath. “You know, I think I do need to talk. I’ve been weird about this with everyone, and I don’t even know why.”
Grabbing a pseudo-healthy granola bar from my tiny pantry, I headed to the couch. “Writing is my only confidante lately, but it doesn’t talk back. It doesn’t give me a hug, even a virtual one. Jack and I have been distant to each other, you are always busy, and now Annie and I are not even on speaking terms—” I stopped, realizing my voice was wobbly and my eyelashes damp.
“Oh no, are you crying? Oh, Viv, poor Viv, it sounds like I called at the right time. What’s going on with you and Annie? Never mind, let’s start from where we left off last time. I have all morning for you.”
I sniffed, feeling relieved but also self-conscious. After a moment, I wiped my eyes and began, “Thanks, Jenn. Well, as you know, it all started with these two ridiculously hot, successful men who came into town and disrupted our lives.”
“Now that is the kind of story opener I love,” Jenn said eagerly, unable to suppress a laugh. “Oh fine, I’ll be quiet now. Spill.”
Nearly an hour later, I said hoarsely, “And that’s all of it. I think you’re caught up.” I took a long drink of water and felt a substantial weight slip off my shoulders.
“Wow. So much excitement. I’m dying of envy over here,” Jenn said longingly.
“Well, it certainly hasn’t felt enviable, most of it anyway.”
“Right, but it’s been exciting even when it sucked. Am I right?”
“I suppose. Less exciting though when you can’t share it with anyone.”
“So, tomorrow night is the night. I’m so excited for you! I can’t believe you didn’t lead with that. Do you know what you’re wearing? Where you’re staying? What he’s—”
“Jenn, it’s a professional conference, not a fashion show.” I laughed. “But no, I don’t know what I’m wearing yet. I may text you later for fashion advice. I … You know what? I am excited. I deserve this. Most of the time, I have no idea what to make of him or whether this Darcy stuff is just me being completely delusional, at best—”
“Not impossible,” Jenn conceded. “But still, you said he’s gorgeous, and oh, the passion . I miss that.” She let out a long-suffering sigh.
“Oh, please. I’ve seen the way you and Kieran look at each other, still. You can’t tell me there’s no passion left.”
“Well, I didn’t say that, exactly …” Jenn trailed off, and she chuckled lightly. “OK, you’re right. But it’s a different kind of passion. A damn good one, plenty of steam still, but not the new-love kind that you’re experiencing. Sure, I wouldn’t want to go through all the absolute crap that goes along with a new love all over again, but that’s the best part of experiencing it through you, Viv.”
“I’m glad I could entertain you,” I said wryly, swinging my legs from the couch onto the floor, noticing how heavy they felt and reminding myself I needed ice packs. “But seriously, thank you for listening. I’m already feeling a million times better. I was afraid this stuff with Annie was going to ruin my weekend with Gregory.”
Jenn was quick to respond. “Don’t worry about her, Viv. She may be young and beautiful and carefree, but she’s also young and naive and, well, stupid. No offense to her. But we’re all stupid when we’re that age. Annie will get over it, and she’ll realize you were just being a good friend. Until then, try not to let it get to you. It’s not worth it.”
“Thanks, you’re right. We probably both just need time,” I admitted as I tried to stretch my sore legs. “But speaking of time, aren’t you going to spend part of your kidless morning with Kieran?”
“Yikes, yes, thanks for reminding me. We’ve got a lunch date, and after hearing your exciting tale, there's no way I'm going to just sit on the couch with my husband and eat PB I need to at least shower and do some ice treatment. Have a great lunch, and thanks again, so much. You’re truly the best.”
“I know.” Jenn chuckled. “All right, go take a shower and a nap and, most importantly, have an amazing sexy time this weekend. And whatever you do, don’t forget to tell me about it afterward!”