8. Chapter 8
Chapter eight
W hile I was readying for dinner, Erendrial appeared in my rooms to escort me. I felt his eyes on me in the reflection of the mirror. I looked back at him, not sure of what to say.
“Shall we go?” I asked. He didn’t answer. I exhaled. “You have nothing to worry about.”
“I am loyal to your father,” he replied. “If something were to happen … and I knew about this ….”
“You must have only heard part of my conversation with Otar. That’s what you get for eavesdropping.” I said playfully, trying to divert anymore interrogation.
He grabbed my arm gently, pulling me back in front of him. “Why would you want to kill yourself? Have we not been good to you here? Have you not found the family you always wondered about? You have your sister, an education, a purpose.”
I looked at him, trying to figure a way out of having this conversation. “It has nothing to do with any of you or the dark court. There are things in my past that I can’t seem to escape, no matter how happy I want to be. When I close my eyes, I relive those moments over and over again. The nightmares devour me, but I am working on it. I am not going to kill myself,” I said, giving him a small smile.
He nodded, still seeming unsure of my response.
We made our way down the hall and stopped to talk to some high alfar. The court was buzzing. Tomorrow night was their beloved Jestu celebration which I was not looking forward to. They spoke of who would be in attendance and what they planned to do. I tried to block the details out, but it was almost impossible. Icici came around the corner with a male alfar I recognized as Soddram Yositru, one of my suitors. Great, every male I knew was screwing my cousin.
“Princess Genevieve, Ambassador Lyklor,” he said coldly, before entering the throne room.
Icici smiled from ear to ear as she approached us. “Good evening, cousin … Eren. Hasn’t today been lovely?” she asked, watching Soddram from behind.
“Dessert before dinner, cousin?” I asked coldly.
“I do like to break the rules now and then. I will let you in on a little secret. If he ends up being your husband, you will not be disappointed, I can vouch for that,” she said with a giggle.
“If I ever have a question in regard to any male at court, I know who to ask,” I said.
Erendrial choked on a laugh, clearing his throat to cover the sound.
Icici’s eyes deadlocked on me as if she was about to attack. “ What can I say? I may not be as warm as the lowly humans, but that doesn’t mean I’m not gifted in every other fashion when it comes to sex. Isn’t that right, Erendrial?”
“I don’t believe this is the time or place to be talking about your sexual explorations, Lady Icici,” replied Erendrial.
“Oh, come on now. The sounds you were making when I did that thing with my tongue on you the other night. I thought the fun was going to be over before we even got started,” she said, smiling at me.
“And why do you think revealing your sexual relationship with Erendrial would have an effect on me?” I asked.
She shrugged with a beautiful smile. “Call it a hunch. Anyways, are you excited for your first Jestu tomorrow night? My people tell me you haven’t taken anyone into your bed since you arrived. I am sure you’re going to be happy to alleviate some of the pent-up tension. It isn’t a good look on you, princess,” she said.
“It is going to be an experience, I am sure,” I replied shortly.
“I don’t blame you for not taking a lover. I mean, who would compare after you’ve had both King Atros and King Lysanthier on top of you. What could a dark alfar offer that they couldn’t?”
My stomach flipped and bile rose in my esophagus. I was going to be sick. I tried controlling my face, but I was taken off guard and I didn’t know how to react.
“Tell me,” she continued with a smile, “was Gaelin or King Lysanthier better in bed? My spies tell me the former king could be quite rough. I guess it could be enjoyable if you like that sort of thing.”
My vision went black as the anger and rage inside of me let loose. I slammed into Icici with the full force of my body, pinning her neck with my forearm to the wall while I restrained one of her hands. She fought to breathe as a smile still crept across her face.
“You shut your fucking mouth; do you hear me?” I growled in a low and threatening tone. “You know nothing of what you speak, and if I find that you have told anyone else about this, I will personally have Otar tear you to shreds. Then you can go fuck the king yourself in the afterlife. Am I clear? You jealous, narcissistic whore?” I yelled.
The crowds of alfar were silent as they looked at me with astonishment. Otar appeared out of nowhere next to us with a wicked smile on his face.
“I can kill this one now? Oh, please, wicked one, please!” Otar said, jumping with excitement.
“As you wish,” Icici said, still fighting to breathe, her eyes locked onto Otar with fear.
“Thank you Otar, but I have this one handled,” I said, releasing her as she slouched over, grasping her neck.
Otar growled and disappeared.
I turned away and walked through the crowds of people as if nothing had happened. Erendrial followed without a word. I stopped before we entered the throne room and turned towards him, still fuming with anger.
“I know you have an agenda up your sleeve and somehow winning me over is part of your twisted plan for power and control, but I swear, if you ever use what you just heard against me, I will make it my life’s mission to destroy you and everyone you have ever cared for. And I will not stop until you are below whatever station you rose from. Am I clear?” I said.
He looked at me in shock as if he was trying to figure out why he was now on the receiving end of my wrath. “Princess, I would never—”
“Don’t princess me, Lyklor. Am I clear?” I demand.
He swallowed hard, straightening his figure. “Perfectly.”
I turned from him, walking into the throne room with my head held high and ready to kill something. I made my way over to Toreon, no longer hungry.
“Care for a sparring session?” I said to him just before he brought a turkey leg to his mouth.
“Now?” he asked.
“Yes, now. Finish your leg and I will meet you in the gym in five minutes,” I said, nodding to my father and uncle before heading back out of the room.
Erendrial tried to follow but I stopped him, unable to look him in the eye now that he knew about Lysanthier. “You’ve got the night off. Go fuck someone or something. I don’t care,” I said, before returning to my rooms to change.
Toreon and I fought for the next three hours without a word. I was still beaten and sore from the morning session, but I didn’t care. I imagined he was his sister and beat the shit out of him every chance he gave me. I fell into bed exhausted and spent.
That night I dreamt of the first time King Lysanthier took me violently. All the blood … my blood that stained his sheets. The way the red looked on his white skin. How he licked at my wounds. I woke up, sweating and crying as I held myself, trying to get my head under control.
The next morning, I went to my combat session, sore, tired, and hungry. By the end of the match everything hurt so badly I was surprised I was able to make it back to my room on my own. To my surprise, Erendrial was waiting for me in my study.
“What are you doing here? I thought we were supposed to meet in the library?” I asked.
“I figured the confinements of your room would be the safer, more private option, just in case you decided to have another outburst for the whole court to see,” he said, dragging his finger along the edge of the desk.
I slammed the door, walking over to him with fire flickering behind my eyes. “You forget who you are talking to, Lyklor. Watch your tone,” I snapped, face to face with him.
He dropped his eyes. “You’re right, Princess Genevieve. Please forgive my rudeness.”
I turned, making my way to the bathroom. I showered and dressed, barely able to bring my arms through the holes of my sleeves. I walked over to the desk and took my seat in front of a new pile of books.
“Next time you go on a hunt, I want to come with you,” I said bluntly.
“Do you think that is wise, Your Highness? You’ve only just begun to train.”
“I’m not pregnant, so there is nothing preventing me from going on the hunt. I will attend,” I demand.
“As you wish,” he said, opening the book to the new section of history I was to learn today.
After the first thirty minutes of listening to him talk, it became a challenge to stay seated in the chair. My back was in so much pain I could barely stand it. It was still bruised and sore from the fifteen hours of combat in the past twenty-four hours. I fidgeted in my chair, reaching for my back, trying to rub the discomfort away.
“What is wrong?” asked Erendrial.
I looked at him and exhaled. “I’m just a bit sore is all. Nothing that won’t pass in a few hours.”
“Yes, but it appears to be a distraction during our lesson. Let me take a look,” he said, moving behind me. He gently peeled back the thin edges of my dress, making sure not to touch me. He came back around and rotated his wrist with a snap. A jar of cream appeared in his hand out of thin air.
“I want to learn how to do that?” I said quickly .
He chuckled, bringing it down to his side. “Yes, I guess we will have to teach you how to mist soon, won’t we? I am going to put this on your back. It will help with the discomfort until you heal.”
“There’s no need. I can do it myself,” I said, reaching for the jar.
He pulled it out of reach. “Unless you’ve developed a gift that allows your arms to grow in length, I doubt you can reach most of yourself.” He moved behind me causing my entire body to stiffen. The back of my simple dress already exposed much of the bruised flesh, but I felt him unbutton the few buttons at the bottom, revealing the area entirely.
I closed my eyes tightly, trying to anticipate the feeling of another’s touch. I am fine, I told myself. He is not King Lysanthier. He isn’t going to hurt me. I can endure another alfar’s touch without screaming or throwing up.
The cream was warm as he gently applied it in between my shoulder blades. I stiffened, holding my breath while he to slid his hand down my lower back. I felt myself beginning to shake as he reached the middle of my area. He removed his hand to get more cream and then resumed the same gentle motion. I sprung from the chair, moving out of his reach.
He stopped, frozen in place. I dropped my head, trying to calm myself. I rubbed my arms, shaking the images out of my head.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. I know you are just trying to help, but I can’t—” I stopped, taking a few deep breaths to calm my racing heart .
He put the jar on the desk and held his hands up in a surrendering gesture. “It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize or tell me anything. I’m sorry I made you feel uncomfortable. That was not my intention. Why don’t we just focus on your studies. We can call it a day after this chapter, agreed?”
I nodded, returning to my chair. I rubbed my face, trying to focus on the words in front of me.
Once the chapter was over, Erendrial began to gather his personal belongings. I watched him closely, building the courage to ask the question I wanted answered.
“Eren,” I whispered, trying to hide my hesitation. “Do you have time for one more lesson?”
He smiled softly, latching his bag before reclaiming his seat. “Maybe a small one,” he replied. “What would you like to know, princess?”
I swallowed, closing my eyes to steady myself. “Jestu … what purpose does it hold?”
He nodded, seeming to understand why I had been so hesitant to ask. “Well, from my understanding, it started a few decades after our court was formed. It began as a way to bring our people and other races together. A way to build trust between each other. A place we could explore and celebrate each being’s unique physical attributes, our gifts, and sate any growing desire between races.
“As time went on and the relationships between the courts calmed, the celebration had become an event everyone looked forward to so much that our court decided to continue it, in remembrance of how far we had come and the bonds we now continued to strengthen.”
“Does … does my father or family attend?”
“Your father, no. It is informal for the reigning ruler to attend the celebration, but your uncle occasionally attends. Your cousins almost always do as well.”
A disgusting feeling slithered down inside of my stomach. “Leave it to this court to weaponize sex for their diplomatic agendas.”
Eren laughed. “Well, when you stop and think about it, when is one most exposed?”
“Ha, ha,” I said, the nerves of having to attend the event festering inside of me. “I don’t want to go,” I admitted.
Eren stood moved from his seat to a kneeling position in front of me. He took my hand in his and looked up into my eyes with something like compassion. “It is custom for the next heir to celebrate this event. Whether it be for physical enjoyment or a political one, you are telling those who see you that you are open to the unity the celebration represents. It won’t be forever, princess.”
I nodded, trying to settle the fear that blazed under my skin. Eren stood and went to the door without another word. I sunk myself into the corner of the room and cried.