Chapter 5
Lila
M onday morning arrives quicker than usual and I make a point to show up at the bakery. It’s a three-day weekend and my kids spent the night at their grandparents’ house so I could work on a special cake decoration last night in my own kitchen without distraction. It’s a special color combo I’ve been trying out for a new type of custom work I’d like to start using on a larger scale. I think with this iteration, I’ve finally hit it out of the park. I truly believe our customers will love it.
Basically, I worked furiously on the cake to keep my mind off Urdan. I was fretting and worried about how our date had ended and what was going on with him and his father, but I felt I couldn’t call him to put my mind at ease. This wasn’t a good situation.
Sadie likes to arrive early, especially on Mondays, before anyone else. She always did this before she got married and started a family, but she does it less now. Bowen doesn’t work on Mondays and stays with their baby so she can come in.
I arrive with my cake in a box. Sadie doesn’t hear me enter. I put the box in the fridge then walk over and turn off my sister’s Bluetooth speaker, which was blaring the latest Taylor Swift song. “I need to talk to you,” I announce, “in person and not on the phone.”
She shrieks with fright, truly surprised to see me, then she pouts, “That was the new song that dropped this week.”
“I know, sorry, but this is important.”
Sadie washes her hands. “Is this about poor Urdan and his dad? That was terrible for him, finding out that his father was so ill he could be dying. I did hear from Bowen that Urdan did arrive in time and that his father is now stabilized, so that’s good news. Oh, are you going to finally tell me the details of that epic date?”
“Yes.”
“You’re right, that’s more important.” She puts a finger up. “Okay, just a sec. Help me with this will you? Then we can talk.”
Soon we’ve got two different mixes churning and we’re both standing in front of platters of cupcakes to decorate, applying daubs of perfect color. Sadie’s getting better at decorating, which is wonderful, it takes some of the pressure away from me, being the only one who can do the custom decorations. Our business has grown so much we’ve also hired two more full-time staff and we’re about to grow into a second location in the next town over.
In fact, staff should start arriving in about thirty minutes, so I’ve got to start talking.
My career and my children are fine and doing well. This part of my life is good, but my love life is still in flux and I’m not sure what to do. “I’m sad about Urdan’s dad too,” I start. “And I think him suddenly finding out his dad was so sick that he had to leave immediately must’ve been awful for him. I feel bad because I’m worried talking about my worries about the date last night, and not just talking about his dad makes me sound uncaring, like it’s no big deal to me that Urdan’s father was on death’s door. Of course, I’m worried about him and his father, even if we’ve never met. I already feel close to Urdan and if he’s in pain then I’m in pain. Whoever is important to him is important to me too. If either you or I had found out suddenly that either of our parents was in the hospital we would’ve dropped everything and left too. But I’m in this weird place where my mind is also filled with what we shared last night.”
I glance over at Sadie for confirmation.
“You’re not a bad person for also wanting to talk about the actual date and how it ended.”
I blow out a breath. “Thank you. He left so fast, I feel like I don’t know what’s going on between the two of us. Am I his actual girlfriend where I should be supporting this man whose father is sick? Or am I just some itch he was scratching? Did we have a hookup and that was it? Is he going to ghost me now that he’s got family issues? Do I need to give him space and let it go, or should I message him?”
“Wait. The two of you haven’t talked at all since he left on Saturday night?”
“No.”
“Oh, I think you should message him. Just a quick text to ask how his father is doing.”
“Sadie, I can’t let my pussy rule my decisions. I’ve done that before and it didn’t turn out well. I’m not doing it this time.”
“I understand what you’re saying. You know I always hated your ex, but you loved him in the beginning and I did my best to take that asshole in stride and remain pleasant and cheerful at all the family gatherings. I was a bridesmaid at your wedding, smiling like that would last forever, which it didn’t.”
“He cheated on me during our honeymoon.”
“Oh dear god. Are you sure?”
“Yep, he threw that in my face on the last day I saw him, when I was being a bitch about him coming back with her at his side to get his stuff.”
“Rob shouldn’t have brought the girl he was cheating on you with to pick up his shit. He could’ve gotten it a dozen different ways, all of which didn’t involve bringing along his young supermodel to show off.”
“It kills me that he never sees our kids. It’s like he’s moved on and forgotten they even exist and only the new family is real. I feel like a single mom. Yes, I moved back to Michigan to raise the kids in my hometown, but originally we lived in Detroit, so me moving here wasn’t a big deal. Then he moved to Miami and started a brand new family and uses that distance as an excuse to never see or talk to his kids.”
Sadie leans against the counter and gives me a sad smile. She’s heard me complain about all of this before and I appreciate her letting me hash it out again and again.
“At times like these I remember that in fact my kids and I have lives that are complete and full of joy and we’re lucky. We have a nice house and I have a good job and money to pay all our bills and live comfortably. Life is good.”
“That’s true, it could be a lot worse. A lot.”
I wipe off some stray frosting. “Did you see how surprised Urdan was to learn that I have two kids?”
“I thought he knew. I thought Bowen had told him about Justin and Lacy. Didn’t you bring them up during the date?”
“I thought I had…but maybe I thought he already knew…I can’t believe I didn’t mention my kids during our first date. Who does that? I guess there was so much other stuff to talk about… He probably doesn’t want to be with me anyways now that he knows. Maybe he thinks I was tricking him and not being honest about how I had kids.”
Sadie puts her hands on her hips. “Lila, I could see that the two of you had been making out in the car before we accidentally arrived early and at the wrong moment. It was obvious. Believe me, that orc still wants you. They don’t just randomly make out with anyone. If he’d gotten that far with you, he considers you a female he’d like to mate with.”
“But he didn’t know all about me at that moment. Urdan didn’t know about my kids. Maybe he’s right now trying to deny his instincts.”
“Maybe…? But sounds highly unlikely.”
“I can’t be with a man who doesn’t want my kids.”
“You don’t know that he feels that way.”
“Maybe he only wants to have orc sons and not human sons.”
“How about you call him and ask?”
“No, he might just lie and manipulate me.”
“Lila, that’s not fair. Urdan is nothing like Rob.”
My jaw clenches.
“Urdan left you his jacket. That orc didn’t ask for it back before he left. I think that means he thinks he’s seeing you again. In fact, leaving you wearing that jacket was him leaving his mark on you.”
“He just forgot about the jacket because he was in a hurry.”
“No, I disagree. I looked up the brand. That’s an $800 leather jacket. A man, even an orc, doesn’t accidentally forget something like that.”
I bite at my lip.
“You should call him,” Sadie repeats.
“He hasn’t called or messaged me either.”
“Maybe he’s busy but would love to hear from you.”
“No,” I shake my head. “I feel like it’s not right for me to call or message, but… we can send treats.”
“Oh, that’s a great idea. We could send his dad our biggest Get Well package and stuff it with custom creations. You could hand sign the card and leave a nice message for Urdan. I’m certain he will call you to say thank you and then you two can talk.”
“That sounds perfect.”
And then Sheri, who works in the front of the store, walks in and greets us with a wave and a smile. We wave back and chat about the weather. The workday has begun.
“Can I turn the music back on now?” Sadie asks.
“Yes,” I laugh, because I feel better already at the thought of sending the gift basket to Urdan. This solves my problem of wanting to communicate, but not directly, and also wanting to let him know I want the best outcomes for him and his father. And that I’m thinking of him.
“Oh,” Sadie says, grabbing my hand before I can leave for the walk-in fridge. “I need to tell you some bad news. I saw Jude Jones sniffing around here yesterday when I went for a drive with mom and dad. He was walking down the street and came much too close to our parking lot.”
“Oh hell.”
“I know. Don’t worry, I told Bowen. He’ll take care of it.”