4. Austin
4
AUSTIN
I ’ve just climbed behind the wheel of my truck when my phone rings.
I look at the screen to see Erica’s name.
I roll my eyes, planning to not answer.
Erica and I used to be hot and heavy, but things came to a screeching halt for me a few months back.
At first, things were fun.
We didn’t agree on much, but synced in the bedroom so it was worth it for a while.
But it got harder and harder to ignore all the things we didn’t have in common, so I eventually called it quits.
She hasn’t called since, until now. I know if she’s calling, she wants one thing.
My head falls forward, and I look down at the bulge in my jeans. It’s not from thinking about Erica.
It’s from thinking about Kaylee—a woman I can’t have and can never touch.
She’s too young for me, and she’s my best friend’s daughter… but damn.
She’s gorgeous, and the way she looks at me makes me want to bite my fist.
I can never touch Kaylee, but I can think about her.
And it would be more fun to think about her while I was thrusting into a warm body than fucking my hand.
I accept the call and put the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Hey,” Erica breathes. “I was wondering if you were going to answer.”
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“I know we haven’t gone out in a while, but I was wondering if you would come to a birthday party with me. My date fell through, so now I have two dinners and can only eat one. It’s nothing fancy. It’s at the seafood restaurant here in town.”
“I just got off work. I haven’t even made it home to change yet.” I look down at my worn jeans and dirty black T-shirt.
“That’s fine. It’s nothing fancy. Can you meet me there in say… twenty minutes?”
I shrug, looking around. “Yeah, I guess I can.”
“Thank you, Austin. I appreciate this.”
“No problem. See you soon.” I hang up the phone and start the truck just as Dave walks out of the house.
He smiles and waves my way before climbing behind the wheel.
He backs out, and I start to follow behind him, noticing that Kaylee hasn’t walked out of the house yet.
She’s in there alone.
I wonder what she’s doing. I want to go back in there and find out.
At least then I could look at her without worrying about getting caught.
But I remind myself that I don’t need to look at her.
I need to keep my distance.
She’s too young, and Dave would kill me if he found out the things I was thinking about his daughter.
I shake her from my head as I start toward the restaurant.
I’ll go on this date with Erica and hope things have changed enough that she’s able to keep my attention.
I’m sitting in my truck in the parking lot when I see her car pull in and park a few spaces down from me.
I climb out, and we approach one another.
I take her in as we get closer to one another.
She’s wearing a fitted pink dress that’s sleeveless and hugs every curve.
Her blonde hair is down and curled, and her face is done up like always.
She’s beautiful; any guy can see that.
That’s probably why we dated as long as we did.
“You look great,” she says, wrapping her arms around my neck in a hug.
I wrap my arms around her middle, hugging her softly. “You, too,” I reply, noticing a lack of tingles.
I felt more just shaking Kaylee’s hand.
If I had the whole front of my body pressing against hers like this, who knows how good that would’ve felt?
“I’m so glad you could meet me last minute. Come on; let’s get in there. I’m already a little late,” she says, taking my hand and pulling me toward the door.
Inside, we go to the private room where the party is being held.
It’s a large group of Erica’s coworkers. She’s greeted the moment we walk in and introduces me to everyone.
I give an awkward wave and force a smile until we are seated at a small, two-person table. The room quiets when everyone sits to eat.
“Thank you again for coming,” she says, stabbing at a piece of shrimp.
I sip my beer. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I hope you didn’t have to cancel any plans,” Erica says, looking at me through her lashes.
“I didn’t have plans. If I did, I wouldn’t be here.” That comes off sounding ruder than I intended, but she doesn’t even flinch.
“So, you don’t have any plans for later?”
I feel my brows drag together. “Later?”
She nods. “Like… tonight?” She bats her lashes and I notice the way she sucks in a deep breath, causing her chest to expand so her dress tightens just right.
My cock throbs.
When was the last time I got laid?
It must have been the last time I took Erica out.
How long ago was that? Weeks? Months?
No wonder I’m getting hard every time a woman bats her lashes at me today.
I shake my head. “No plans.”
She leans in slightly, allowing another peek down her top, at the way her tits are held high and pressed perfectly together.
“I can follow you back to your place after dinner.” She bites her lower lip. “I mean, if you want.”
The only thing I can think about is burying myself in someone, even if it’s only for an hour, even if I know I’ll only feel emptier than before.
At least, that’s how I’ve always felt after meaningless sex.
I take a bite of my steak and nod, not agreeing or disagreeing.
I don’t want anything to do with the woman sitting across from me, but I am a man with needs, and she could help put me out of my misery even if it’s only for a night.
Even though I’ve been here with her, my mind has been back at that house, thinking about the woman I’ll never be allowed to have, the one who started all this shit to begin with.
I wish I knew what about her pulls me in.
It’s not an age thing.
Erica is younger than me, too, but I don’t feel that pull with her.
I can look at Erica and still walk away.
I have the feeling that if Kaylee were begging me to take her back to my place, I wouldn’t be able to resist.
That’s dangerous.
If I was smart, I’d turn this job down just so I wouldn’t have an excuse to see her or be around her.
But I’m not smart.
I have a hundred excuses for why I should take this job.
For one, it’s my job, and Hallie and Grant have trusted me to run their business properly.
I can’t turn down a job, especially when there aren’t others lined up.
My best friend also asked me for a favor. I can’t tell him no.
I’m also greedy.
Even though I know I can’t have her, I want to be around her.
I’ll keep my hands to myself; I just want to be close to her.
If nothing else, I hope to find something wrong with her.
God knows I find it in every other woman I’ve been involved with.
I couldn’t stand the way Erica would cling to me all night long.
It didn’t matter how big the bed was, I’d wake up to her practically on top of me.
I dated a woman named Julie for about three months before Erica.
I hated the way she laughed. It was high-pitched and sounded like nails on a chalkboard.
Before her, there was a woman named Amanda. I hated how her mouth was always open.
I know that I’ll find something wrong with Kaylee, too.
It’s just a matter of time.
If anyone can find it, it’s me.
I’m destined to be alone.
I was raised in a broken family, and I’m a broken man.
Finding the flaws in the women I surround myself with isn’t about them.
It’s just the way I protect myself and them because I know one of these days, I’ll turn into my father.
With that thought, I lose my appetite and push my plate away.
I wipe my mouth with the cloth napkin and pick up my beer, finishing it off.
Erica seems to know I’m about to speak because her eyes move to my face. “I’m sorry, but I have to go.”
Her brows lift in surprise. “Is everything okay?”
“I just realized that I’ve forgotten about something, so I’m afraid I do have plans this evening. Thank you for inviting me to this party, and I’m sorry I have to run off like this.”
She presses her lips in a tight line, nodding.
I stand, taking her hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it.
That causes her harsh, forced smile to soften.
“I really am sorry, Erica. For everything.” I turn and walk out of the restaurant, away from her for the last time.
I realize what a shit I’ve been to her and every woman I’ve been with.
I’ve been worried about turning into my dad, but I’ve been too blind to see that I already am him.
The only difference is that I realized it before I knocked someone up and abandoned them.
I drive home, my chest swelled with anger.
When I let myself into my small home, I’m surrounded with memories.
That’s all I ever see, but tonight, I push them away as I march toward the bathroom.
I kick off my boots and reach into the shower to let the water warm.
The tiny bathroom fills with steam as I strip off my work clothes.
Stepping into the shower, I place my hands on the wall, dip my head forward, and close my eyes.
The water beats against the top of my head, running down my face and dripping onto the shower floor.
Suddenly, my angry thoughts change from my troubled childhood to seeing her bent over in front of me today.
I can see the way her soft, blonde curls fell over her shoulders, how her blue eyes shined, how she bit down on that plump bottom lip and the way her heavy tits were cupped perfectly by her bra as she leaned against the island in the kitchen.
My blood warms and my cock throbs.
I wrap my hand around myself, pumping slowly. I tighten my hold and stroke myself faster.
My breathing picks up and my heart pounds.
Instead of carrying on with my thoughts of her today, I start to imagine how things would’ve gone if I had picked her up against me.
If my mouth crashed against hers.
If I would have pulled her tiny top down and sucked her perky tits into my mouth.
The sounds that I could make her make… My release rushes to the surface, and I don’t even try to hold back.
I let myself fall, my heavy breathing and deep moan echoing off the bathroom walls as I empty myself into the drain.