17. Kaylee
17
KAYLEE
“ O kay, fine,” I spit out, stepping up to him.
“I seduced you,” I mock, rolling my eyes.
“Big fucking deal. I’m twenty-four years old, Austin. I say who I can sleep with, nobody else. Who cares if you’re friends with my dad? It’s not like I’m going to go run off and tell him. I don’t want him to know anything about my sex life, so our secret is safe.”
I push my arms into the sleeves of my shirt and start working on the buttons.
He scoffs and shakes his head.
“What?”
His dark eyes meet mine, but this time, they’re cold. “Don’t you get it?”
“Get what ?” My brows knit together.
“Your best friend went behind your back and fucked your fiancé. I went behind my best friend’s back and fucked his daughter. Think about how you felt when you found out the person you thought you could trust stabbed you in the back. That’s how your dad is going to feel, but it’s twice as bad because you’re his daughter. Sorry, but daughter trumps fiancé every day of the week.”
I frown at him as I cross my arms.
“That’s why I’ve tried keeping space between us.” He steps toward me. “That’s why I’m so pissed right now.”
He takes another step. “I’m pissed at you for seducing me. I’m pissed at myself for being so fucking weak. I’m pissed that I became friends with Dave in the first place.”
He’s right in front of me now, and he reaches out and places his hands on either side of me, clutching the island at my back.
“But most of all, I’m pissed at the universe for making you so goddamn intoxicating, because even though I hate everything about this, I look into your eyes, and all I want to do is take you home and keep you chained to my bed so I can make you scream my name over and over.”
His eyes darken and he leans in, his warm breath washing over my lips.
“And I hate that you want that just as badly as I do.”
The corner of his mouth turns up. “Even though I’ve stood here, yelled at you, and blamed you, you still look at me like I’m all you’ve ever wanted, like you’d let me do anything I wanted to you.”
“I…” I bite my lower lip as I look up at him from beneath my lashes. “I think I would.”
A puff of air leaves his lips. “How in the hell am I supposed to keep my distance when you look at me like that? When you say things like that?”
“Maybe you’re not supposed to,” I say, reaching out and grabbing his shirt, gently tugging his mouth to mine.
His eyes fall closed when I push my tongue into his mouth.
So warm, soft, and sweet. I’ll never get enough of him.
I don’t know why I feel this way when he’s around.
He says I’m intoxicating, but he’s got me so fucked up that the world shrinks the moment he steps into view.
Everything else falls away.
Nothing exists but him, me, and the room we’re in.
When I see him watching me, my heart races and my stomach drops.
Adrenaline courses through my veins, making me feel alive in ways I’ve never experienced.
I’ve lived in a dark depression these past couple of months.
When he walked into my life, he set it on fire.
I’ve never seen anything so bright. I’ve never felt anything so warm.
I can’t let that go, and I don’t care who says it’s wrong.
This is my life, and I want to live by my standards.
He breaks our kiss suddenly.
His eyes find mine and he cups my jaw. His thumb slowly moves back and forth across my cheekbone, under my eye.
“I’m sorry, but I have to go.” He doesn’t move, and I don’t release his shirt. “We have to pretend that this didn’t happen. Do you understand?”
“I understand, but?—”
He shakes his head. “No buts. We both got what we wanted. Now it’s time to move on.”
His hand glides lightly down my jaw, his thumb rubbing back and forth across my lower lip.
“I would make you mine if I could, Kay.” He leans in, softly kissing me.
He rests his forehead against mine. “I’ve never felt anything like this. Just know that I’ll never regret what just happened, no matter how wrong it was. You will always be the one I want and can’t have.”
I lean forward and capture his mouth with mine.
My tongue pushes into his mouth, and the two swirl together as he kisses me hard, fast, and with so much passion that I can’t see anything but him and the way he makes me feel alive.
But just as suddenly as it all started, it ends.
He pulls back, spinning on his heel as he walks away.
He pushes open the plastic curtain that closes off the kitchen, and I listen as his boots thud across the hardwood floor.
I hear the door open and close. A few seconds later, I hear the roaring engine of his truck as he takes off, leaving me behind.
My shoulders bow inward in his absence.
How can one person make you feel so alive and then like nothing only a second later?
I don’t know what else to do, so I turn off the music, lock up the house, and climb behind the wheel of my car.
I’m not ready to go home, but I can’t just work like nothing happened.
I drive around aimlessly for a little while before I find myself at the bar.
I use the restroom and straighten my clothes a little.
I rake my fingers through my hair before pulling it back in a messy bun.
Then, I move to the bar and order a vodka cranberry, wanting something a little stronger than beer.
I don’t pay attention to what’s going on around me.
The bar is filled with families coming in for dinner or regulars filing in after work.
The place is busy enough that nobody notices me, but since there’s no band this week, it’s not overly crowded or loud.
I stare into my drink, lost in thoughts of him and how this could possibly end for us.
I refuse to believe that it’s over before it can start. I’ve always tried to remain positive no matter how bleak the outlook.
Being with Austin would have its challenges, but I can’t give up. I have to make him see how special this is.
I am pulled from my thoughts when someone flops onto the barstool next to me, and I turn to find my sister smiling.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” I ask, my eyes sweeping down her body.
She’s clearly just come from her internship as she’s still dressed in a skirt and heels.
“I was heading home when I saw your car in the lot. Figured I’d stop to see what you’re up to.” She doesn’t even have to ask for a drink; the bartender just places one in front of her.
She picks it up with a smile, taking a sip. “So, what are you doing here?”
I roll my eyes. “Drinking away my problems. Or at least trying to.”
She nods. “Is this the same problem you’ve had or a new one?”
I bite the inside of my cheek, refusing to meet her eyes.
I can see her from the corner of my eye, and I watch as her brows arch. “A new one.”
She nods, reading me. “Wanna talk about it?”
We’ve always been close. We covered for one another in our teen years, and we’ve protected secrets any time we were trusted with them.
I know I can trust her with this, but part of me is scared to confide in her.
Not because I’m worried that she’d run and tell our dad, but because I’m scared that she’ll judge me.
Will she be grossed out that I just had the best sex of my life with a man old enough to be my father?
She nudges my arm with hers. “Come on. You can tell me. We’ve always told one another everything, and you clearly need to talk about it. You know you won’t figure anything out by drinking.”
I wet my lips. “I just hooked up with a guy.”
She smiles widely. “Good for you! You needed it.” She turns toward me. “But why do you look like someone grounded you from dessert?”
I chuckle. “Because the thing is…” I bite my lip, not sure how much to tell her. “Well, the guy is someone I can’t have.”
She gasps. “Is he married?”
“No,” I jump to say. “No, it’s nothing like that.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t understand.”
“I know.” I bring my straw to my lips, sucking down a sip. “He’s a family friend.”
“Do I know them?”
“Yes.”
Her brow arches. “Is he friends with Parker?”
“No, and I’m not telling you who he’s friends with. I’m just saying that he’s close to the family, and if they found out about us…”
“‘They’ as in our family?”
I nod. “They wouldn’t be happy with him or with me, and he knows that. So, for a while, he’s been bending over backward to stay away from me, but every time we’re together, we get closer, even though we know that some might think it’s wrong. But it’s like the universe is pushing us together. And the way I feel when I catch him looking at me… when we kiss… when he touches me…”
A shiver runs up my spine and goosebumps prickle my skin, making my tiny arm hairs stand on end.
Kinsley sees this and her mouth falls open as the corners turn up into a grin. “I would say fuck it and go for it anyway. It sounds hot.”
I nod. “So hot.”
She giggles. “I always loved the rush I got sneaking around. Even if I was just sneaking out of the house to go to a party.”
I look over at her. “Combine that feeling with the best orgasm of your life, and you’ll understand how I feel.”
Her face heats and her cheeks turn pink. “Who cares what the family thinks? You keep chasing your dreams, sister.”
We both laugh.
“Isn’t that selfish, though? To say fuck what our family thinks as long as I’m getting off?”
She takes a drink as she thinks it over. “Yeah, I guess, but if anyone deserves a moment of selfishness, it’s you, Kay. Especially after the past couple of months. You deserve to be happy, too, so enjoy it while you can.”
I look over at her and smile. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her in for a hug. “Thank you.”
She squeezes me back. “That’s what little sisters are for.”