16. Lisa
CHAPTER 16
LISA
I looked at the doctor with a dumbfounded expression on my face. He was a doctor. I was a nurse. Asking him if he sure when I knew how these things worked would have been absurd. “I, um. Okay. I just wasn’t expecting this. I just had a six-week checkup not too long ago. I didn’t get birth control, because… you know what? It doesn’t matter,” I chuckled nervously. “Thank you.”
When I left Capri’s house two days ago and got home, my panties had blood in them. I showered and put on a pad. I bled for almost twenty-four hours, then it stopped. That wasn’t normal for me, so I decided to get checked out to be on the safe side only to be told that I was pregnant. My stomach was in knots. I wanted to ask myself how, but I knew how. The night I went to Capri’s, and he was super drunk. We went two rounds and on the second round, the condom broke. I hadn’t given it another thought after that night. Again, yes, I was a nurse, and I knew how babies were made but fuck. Since I’d just given birth two months ago, I didn’t think it was abnormal for my cycle to be irregular. There had been no morning sickness or weird cravings. The only thing I actually felt was fatigue and with the way I had been working, that was to be expected.
According to the doctor, however, I was five weeks pregnant. I couldn’t even feel my legs as I walked to my car. I was still mourning my loss, and another pregnancy was nowhere in the forefront of my mind. How could I have an abortion when I had just suffered such a huge loss, but I didn’t know Capri, and he didn’t know me. This was unexpected, and the timing was wrong. Not to mention, I had PTSD. The times I drank. All those times when I didn’t know I was pregnant. What if something was wrong with this baby too? At the thought, I began to hyperventilate.
I had a full-blown panic attack in my car. As I struggled to breathe, I clenched my steering wheel so hard that my hands began to ache. My chest heaved up and down as tears streamed down my face. I couldn’t deal with another high-risk pregnancy again. My heart couldn’t take it. Gradually, my breathing started to slow, and I was able to calm down. The grip I had on the steering wheel loosened, and I grabbed napkins from my center console to wipe my face. As soon as the fears of something being wrong with my child began to ease up, I thought about how me being pregnant again so soon by a man that wasn’t my fiancé would look. Boy, it had been a hell of a day, and it wasn’t going to get better. I still had to tell Capri.
Being that I was pregnant, I’d no longer be able to drink away my pain. I’d have to face my reality fully sober and alert. As soon as I gathered myself enough to be able to drive myself home, my phone rang, and when I saw who was calling, I groaned. The Universe was funny as fuck. Reluctantly, I answered the phone for Sintonio’s mother. She was cool, but we’d never been close. Even though he told her that I was paying for a lot of our wedding, she turned her nose up at the cost of things and told him that we could just go to the courthouse instead of trying to ‘keep up with the Joneses.’ I wanted to tell him so bad that his mother could kiss my ass, but I refrained.
She sent flowers to the hospital after I had my son, but she hadn’t picked up the phone to call me nor had she attempted to visit. Something in my gut told me that I’d regret answering the phone for Aleena, but I did it anyway.
“Hey hun. How are you doing?”
“Hey. I’m okay.” I stated dryly.
“That’s good. Look, has the check from the insurance company come yet? Sintonio told me to ask you about it because he said you won’t answer the phone for him. He wanted you to give me his portion of the money, so he can get a lawyer. And if it hasn’t come yet, he wants to know if you can put some money in his account? I’ve been doing it, but I have my own bills and stuff.”
My nose scrunched as I let everything that she said sink in. I felt that her and her son had a lot of damn nerve but when I responded to her, I kept my tone pleasant. “No, the check hasn’t come yet, but if he wants me to give his money to you, I will do that as soon as I get it. As far as the money in his account, no. I don’t have it to spare. I’m saving up to move, and I just went back to work not too long ago.”
“Well, aren’t you getting a check for the house? You can use that to move.”
“Sooooo,” I stated slowly. “The house wasn’t paid for. Once we pay the bank what they were owed, we can have the rest to split. That for sure won’t make either one of us rich. And my bank account took a major hit when I spent a lot of money on a wedding that didn’t happen.”
“That’s your fault. I told Sin that you and he could have just gone to the courthouse. You didn’t need a big old fancy wedding to try and impress pe”
“I’m sorry,” I cut her off. “But respectfully, I did what I wanted to do. I didn’t ask for opinions. I’ll give you the money once I get it.” I ended the call without waiting on a response from her. I had enough on my plate. Sintonio’s mother could kiss my ass. Even if I was rich, I wouldn’t have put any money in his account. Sin was the least of my worries.
I needed to expedite my move because as nosey as my mother was, I wouldn’t be able to hide my pregnancy for long while living in the same house as her. My father fell back and didn’t bother me too much, but my mother was on it. Just the other day she told me I looked pale and to check my iron. When I got home, no one was there. I went inside my bedroom and started looking for places to rent. I needed to find something ASAP.
I put off contacting Capri for two days. I knew I needed to tell him because it was only fair that I knew how he felt about the situation. He was so drunk when the condom broke, he probably didn’t even remember it the next day. I wanted to kick my own ass for not buying a plan B pill. I didn’t want to tell him the news over the phone, so I asked him to meet me at my favorite smoothie place. We arrived at the same time, and he held the door open for me as I nervously walked past. Capri was dressed in a blue Polo sweatsuit and blue and white sneakers. The blue Polo toboggan he wore only added to his rugged sexiness. The cologne wafting off his body tickled my senses, and all I could think about was his tongue probing my mouth while he choked me. That nasty shit right there was the reason why I was sitting across from him feeling like I needed to throw up.
I was so antsy that I didn’t even realize I sat down without ordering until he asked me if I wanted something. I told him what to order for me grateful that I had a few more minutes to stall. When Capri came back to the table with my strawberry banana smoothie, I gave him a small smile. “Thank you.” My stomach was gurgling something terrible. There was no easy way to say what I had to say, and I was trying to force myself to just spit it out.
“Something wrong?” Capri eyed me curiously before taking a sip of his smoothie.
“I’m pregnant.” The words tumbled out of my mouth like vomit. “That’s why I was bleeding. During pregnancy the vagina has extra blood vessels, and I guess all the sex just kind of made me bleed, but there’s nothing wrong.” I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Capri’s gaze was intense, but I couldn’t read the expression on his face.
“And you’re saying its mine?”
I attempted to keep my tone even. His question was a valid one, but I was slightly offended. “Yes, I am. You’re the only person I had sex with. You remember the night you were really drunk and high, and we went two rounds? You don’t remember the condom breaking?”
Capri’s brows furrowed while he tried to recall. Finally, he pushed out a small chuckle. “Barely, but yeah, I remember. And you were pregnant before you went to the cabin with Sage?”
Again, maybe his questions were valid, but he was beginning to piss me off. I understood that we didn’t know each other well, but I didn’t like what he was insinuating. I kissed my teeth before speaking. “You know what, I told you to get your input. This was very unexpected, and you have a right to tell me how you feel, but I’m not doing this. Should I decide to keep the baby, I’ll contact you when it’s born for a paternity test. Have a nice day, Capri.”
I stood, and he frowned. “If you want my input sit down and talk to me like an adult.”
My eyes narrowed as we had a brief stare off. I sat down with a huff and crossed my arms over my breasts.
“I was with a woman for years that fucked my best friend and put the baby on me. I found out right before my daughter passed. The last moments I spent with my daughter, I was getting her mouth swabbed to see if she was mine. I had two people that supposedly loved me look me in the face for almost three years and lie to me. So, you’re damn right I have questions.”
“You can have questions,” I snapped. “I don’t object to a paternity test, but if I’m telling you that you’re the only person I had sex with, believe it or don’t, but you’re not going to grill me. I’m not your baby mama.”
“What do you mean if you decide to keep the baby?”
“Exactly what I said. If. This wasn’t planned. I don’t know if I’m ready for this and if I’m not going to have your help, I’m not sure I’m up for doing it alone. I have a demanding career, and I work a lot. We’re not together. I’d never expect you to take care of me while I was out of work. Financially, I’m trying to bounce back from my wedding that didn’t happen. It’s just a lot.”
Capri pushed out a deep breath. I could tell my news had thrown him for a loop, but shit it had done the same to me. “Just let me know whatever you decide.” He stood up and walked away leaving me sitting there dumbfounded.
I wasn’t sure how I was expecting him to react, but that wasn’t it. Was he upset? I didn’t make the condom break. He hadn’t demanded that I end the pregnancy, nor did he come right out and say he didn’t want the baby. But he damn sure didn’t reassure me either. He was leaving it entirely up to me. My head was beginning to hurt. I just wanted to sleep for a few hours, so I wouldn’t have to think, but I had a lash appointment. When I thought about who I had a lash appointment with, my headache intensified. Wendi was on vacation, and I had to book with Robin. Not only was I previously engaged to the man that took her child from her, but I was also pregnant by her ex.
The guilt was giving me a migraine. I needed to find a new lash tech immediately. On my way to the shop, I thought about how having an abortion would affect me mentally, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to go through it. I would just have to be very smart about the way I spent my portion of the money from the insurance on the house. Sintonio and I could have sold the house, but Capri setting it on fire didn’t leave us too bad off. Sintonio had called me a few times since he’d been in jail, but we didn’t have anything to talk about. A police officer had also reached out to me recently and was questioning me about the kidnapping. I just wanted to forget the past few months of my life. I kept my story short and simply told them I couldn’t remember many details.
When I arrived at the shop, I walked into Robin’s suite, and I heard her in the bathroom throwing up. I thought I had it bad, but life hadn’t been too kind to her either. It was sad that she had to work while battling cancer. I waited patiently and when she walked out of the bathroom, she gave me a weak smile.
“I’m sorry to keep you waiting.” Robin had a scarf tied around her head, and she looked as if she’d lost a few pounds.
“Please don’t apologize. Are you sure you’re up for doing my lashes? If you have to cancel, it’s okay.”
“Oh no, baby. Last time I got chemo, my copay was $600. I have to work. I’ll be okay.”
My heart couldn’t take it. Her extreme misfortune. The guilt that I felt. It was all too much. Swallowing hard, I gave her an empathetic smile and sat down in her chair.
“Last time I did your lashes, you were pregnant. You had the baby? Time flies.”
My heart sank further into my belly. I hated having to explain the worst thing that had ever happened to me. But I also knew that she could understand. “He was stillborn,” I stated in a low tone.
I was on my back looking up at Robin who was behind the chair standing over me. Her jaw slacked at the news. “I’m so sorry, Lisa. Oh my God. I’m sorry.”
I gave her a sad smile. “Thank you. Um,” did I say sorry for yours as well? She hadn’t told me personally about her child, and I didn’t want her to think that I knew from gossip. It was no secret, however. The accident had been on the news. “I’m sorry for yours as well.”
Sadness filled Robin’s eyes. I was happy when she instructed me to close mine, so she could get started. “Yeah, for a little bit I thought I was going to lose my mind,” she mumbled. “Me and her father weren’t seeing eye to eye, and I felt so alone. Even with my family and friends around, I wanted him, ya know? But he’s coming around. Hopefully, if I beat this cancer thing, we can get back together. Maybe even try for another baby.”
My stomach did an entire backflip. When Capri spoke to me about Robin sleeping with his best friend, the venom in his tone and the anger in his orbs revealed a deep hatred for her. Those emotions couldn’t be fabricated. I was no expert in matters of Capri, but him coming around was news to me. Either he was lying about his mistrust for her, or she was lying to me. Hearing her say they could possibly try for another child had my stomach churning because he already had another child on the way. How would she feel when she found out? And how would she feel knowing that it was me?
“I pray everything works out for you just the way you want it to. You deserve to be happy.” And I meant that. But being pregnant by someone that may end up with someone else was a hard pill to swallow. I had done things the ‘right’ way and gotten pregnant by a man I was in a relationship with and was planning to marry.
That shit went way south and there I was pregnant by a man that I barely knew. That I barely held conversations with. We connected over tragedy. My life had turned into an entire shit show.
“Thank you, babe. I feel the same way about you. Life can be tough but people like us are tougher.”
I admired her optimism. Her friendliness almost had me wanting to confess my sins to her, but I knew I couldn’t do that. Guilt was weighing me down so bad that I couldn’t wait to get out of her chair. I paid and tipped her $200. When she saw how much I gave her, her eyes widened, and she thanked me profusely. “You don’t have to thank me.”
I felt like shit standing there smiling in her face, pregnant by her ex. Life just kept getting shittier and shittier.