Chapter 23
23
Ciaron
A s soon as I opened the front door, the smell of Ireland hit me in the face. My mouth watered. I’d recognise the smell of Dublin coddle anywhere. It was a staple meal I made for my brothers when I was a kid. Cheap and easy was always my go to when making us food.
“Ciaron, my boy,” Mam called from the kitchen. “I’ve made your favourite.”
“Thanks, Mam.”
She beamed at me as I walked into the kitchen and looked into the pot of roughly sliced pork sausages, sliced bacon, onions and chunky potatoes in broth. Some people might say it looked unappetising, but they have no idea what they’re talking about.
“I browned the sausage and bacon just the way you like it,” she said. “And made you some soda bread.”
I smiled. I loved the dense texture and tangy flavour of soda bread.
Taylor was watching us from the lounge room where she was folding washing with the kids.
Mam cupped my cheek. “Nothing is too much for my favourite son.”
Taylor looked down at the clothes in the basket.
“We need to keep the Irish traditions strong in my grandchildren. These Australians don’t understand tradition. They eat anything.” She shook her head. “Spag bol.”
What was she even talking about? Irish people ate Italian food all the time. Lasagne was great comfort food.
“I’m going to get changed. Isabelle, Callum, can you help Mamo set the table, please?”
“No need. They have been helping Taylor all afternoon. Let them rest.” Mum ushered them out of the lounge room and to the dining table, leaving Taylor to finish folding the washing. Taylor said nothing as Mam spoke to them quietly while setting the table. It was nice that Taylor let them have this time together.
When I came back out, the table was set, and the food served.
Mamo patted the chair next to her. “How was your day today?” she asked. “Tell me all about it.”
My heart lifted knowing that she was interested in what I was doing. Before she arrived in Australia, the conversation revolved around her or how I could help her. This was a welcome change. Perhaps being here, she could see how involved working on our farm was.
When I finished telling her about the day, she patted my hand. “Good, good. It sounds like your day was busy as usual and you didn’t need to do much extra because Taylor was away.”
In my peripheral vision, Taylor shifted in her seat.
“We were able to share the extra work around,” I said.
“I think what your mam means is that you pick up most of the load already, so a few extra tasks won’t mean much,” Taylor said.
“Yes, exactly,” Mam said, giving my arm a rub. She’d never given me this much credit before.
Taylor’s lips lifted in a smile that couldn’t be less genuine if she’d tried. She remained quiet for the rest of the meal. Was she unhappy about someone recognising the hard work I put in? That was strange, seeing as she’d mentioned it herself only the other day.
After dinner I drove Mam home. Before she got out of the car, she said, “How about we go for a walk? I haven’t spent time alone with you all day.”
I turned the car off and joined her on the road. The night sky was black and dotted with stars, and the full moon lit our way. Mam smiled up at me as we walked aimlessly. In my childhood she was never interested in spending this much time with me. Was she trying to make amends?
“I enjoy spending this time alone with you. Taylor won’t mind, will she?” Mam asked sweetly.
“Not at all. She will be happy for us.”
“She doesn’t seem very comfortable in my presence. I do wish I could be closer to her.”
I glanced up at the tree line where it met the dark night sky. It wasn’t only Taylor I needed to be braver with. “I think some of the things you say can be misconstrued. Like how you said, I do so much work. It made it sound like she doesn’t.”
Mam rested her hand on her chest. “Oh.” She shook her head. “That’s not what I meant at all. I can see the farm is important to her. She seems to sacrifice a lot for it.”
“We are all working hard. The drought has been very tiring.”
She took my hand. “Of course, of course. I just worry about you. You look so tired.”
I sighed. That was the truth.
“You are not young like you used to be when you helped me with the boys. You worked so hard for us all. I never thanked you for that.”
I concentrated on my footsteps to help ground me in this moment. I couldn’t believe I was hearing those words. That she was sorry for the past. That she truly cared about me.
“You need to take care of yourself more. I know you don’t want to, but if you moved back to Ireland, I could help with Isabelle and Callum. Make it easier for you. I have more time now that all the boys have moved out.”
“Thanks, Mam.”
I didn’t want to move. None of us did, but her words of support meant the world to me. We walked in silence until we reached the intersection and then turned around.
“I will apologise to Taylor. I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings,” Mam said. “She does seem quite fragile at the moment.”
“That would be good, Mam. I’m sure she will appreciate it.”
Mam rubbed my hand. “I don’t want to cause friction between you. Taylor is so lovely. Even when I was unkind to her in the past, she never spoke against me.”
Who was this woman walking next to me? She’d changed. It gave me confidence that Taylor could change too.