ELEVEN
Ever since that talk, Dylan has been asking me almost every day if I’ve found his dad. And every day, I feel ashamed to keep up with this lie. The truth is I haven’t found the courage to deal with the problem that is his father. Every day, he gets sad and disappointed. It hurts so damn much But I need time, time to find the courage and strength to face this because as soon as the Davis family knows about Dylan’s existence, I am in for one hell of a ride.
That’s a given. I know it.
And maybe Dylan doesn’t understand now why I did things the way I did, but I know that one day he will.
And to think, I thought life would be easier from here on out. Ugh!
I need to contact Liam; we both need closure. That’s a fact.
In the end, he is right. No matter what happened back then, I should have told him I was leaving instead of blindsiding him. But the trauma had distorted my mind; all my brain was telling me was to leave, in a fight or flight kind of state, and to do what was best for me.
It all came crashing down when, weeks into my bedroom seclusion, my parents didn’t stand by my decision to keep Dylan. Even with Nana’s words and Jake’s attempts to protect me, they were clear when they said that I either get rid of it or I had to get out.
At sixteen and pregnant, I made the decision that I thought was safest for us. How was I to trust Liam when the ones closest to me—supposed to protect and help me—let me down? Having to tell him the whole truth and going through the shame again? We were both kids, and putting a burden on him that was only mine to carry…it never felt right.
“Willow, darling, are you there?” My Nana’s frantic voice takes my focus away from a sleeping Dylan.
I walk out to the corridor, careful not to wake him, and answer a weak, “I’m coming” before heading downstairs.
On the ground floor, I find her sitting down on the sofa. She’s holding her cell phone tight in her hands and looking directly at the ground. Just the fact that she doesn’t look up at me when I arrive is enough for me to know something’s wrong.
“What’s wrong?”
She looks up at me with a sad expression and shiny eyes—are those tears?
I rush up to her side and hold her hands, repeating my previous question.
“Uncle Todd has passed away, darling.”
I gasp in shock. Uncle Todd was Nana’s youngest brother. He was the funniest and most relaxed one of them all, a lot like Nana but in more of a hippie kind of style. Nana has five siblings in total, and she’s the second oldest of them all. I can only imagine what she’s feeling; I’d be devastated if something had happened to Jake.
I hug her tight, and she immediately lets the tears fall freely. Her body seems frail through her soft cries as I wait for her to let it all out. We stay like this for a few minutes as I wait for her to calm down. After a while, her sobs stop a little, and for a split second, I hope that the comfort of the hug might have helped. Hers surely have helped me a lot through my toughest times.
“Dear, I don’t want to leave you unattended with Dylan, but I must go. I have to go say goodbye to my baby brother,” she finally says.
“Of course, Nana.” I don’t even hesitate to agree. “Go. Don’t worry about Dylan and me. I’ll ask Abby’s parents to take care of him while I go to work for the next few days.” I smile weakly at her in reassurance.
“Are you sure?” she presses, and I nod. “Okay, I am preparing a bag to go back to Lisbon for a few days.”
“Sure, Nana. I have to call Abby’s parents, so go do what you have to do.”
As she goes upstairs, I rush to call Abby’s mum. Work will start in just a couple of hours, and I know this is probably awful to ask of them since I only leave work around ten p.m., but I have no one else.
“Hello, Willow! How are you?” Nina answers the phone in a cheery voice.
“Hi, Nina. I’m so sorry for disturbing you, but I have a huge favour to ask,” I start. “My nana has to leave for a few days to help some family members, and I have no one to watch Dylan today or the next few days while I’m at work.” I ramble like a mad person. “Would you guys be able to watch over him? Even if it’s just for today; I’ll try to find someone for the next few days.”
Asking favours like these to otherwise strangers makes me uneasy, but it’s not like I have a choice.
“Calm down, darling,” she offers. “I don’t mind looking after him for the next few days at all! But today is impossible, sweety. I’m sorry. We are already at my parents’ for dinner, and it’s an hour and a half drive. Even if we wanted, we couldn’t make it there on time.”
I am so done.
“Of course. I understand,” I answer, defeated. “I am so sorry. Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome, darling. We’ll settle things tomorrow when we pick them up from school, alright?”
“Sure, have a nice evening.” Hanging up in a hurry. Immediately, I call Shilah, explaining to her the situation and asking if I can make it up to them with extra hours next week. But like the amazing boss that she is, she suggests I bring Dylan along because it’s a weekday and it’ll be calm. The fact that her daughter is there helps because she can keep an eye on Dylan if we get too busy.
I swear that woman is an angel.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I tightly hug Shilah as soon as I enter the diner with Dylan by the hand.
To say he is excited to come with me to work is an understatement. He is ecstatic. He’s been jumping and thanking me for being able to come with me, and now, as I hug Shilah, he is thanking her, too.
We brought a couple of playing cars and colouring books to keep him busy for the next few hours. Shilah also insisted on us having dinner here, even though I usually eat before starting my shift.
“Nonsense!” She gently pried herself off of me. “Now, let me meet this handsome young man!”
“I’m Dylan.” He happily extends his hand.
“I’m Shilah. Nice to meet you.” He once again kisses her hand, and she puts her free hand to her chest, fake swooning.
Dear god, this kid will be nothing but trouble.
“Are you excited to spend time with us?” she asks, and he beams at her.
With a smile splitting his face, he exclaims, “Yes! Can I help?” His big blue eyes shine with curiosity, and I chuckle at his eagerness.
“Unfortunately, no, dear; you’re still too young. But do you see that booth?” He nods his head eagerly, looking at the table she is pointing at. “It’s everyone’s favourite table, and you’ll get that one tonight.” She winks at him before continuing, “You’ll even have dinner there. Are you up for a burger?” He nods while bouncing on the spot. “Good. Now, go sit up there. Hannah, my daughter, will be spending time with you for as long as she can, while Mummy and I start work, okay?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Hannah extends her hand to him, and he easily accepts it, twisting and kissing it. The charm. She giggles before telling me not to worry because she’ll take care of him. Hand by hand, they go towards the booth and sit down across from one another. That kid has never been a timid one.
Quickly, I head to the staff room to get ready for work. There are still a couple of hours left until dinner time for Dylan, thank god I wasn’t doing the last shift tonight.
As soon as I’m ready, I approach him and Hannah. He’s sitting with his things spread across the table, talking to her animatedly.
“Baby,” I call to get his attention and sit down next to him. “Mummy will be running around working. I will come to you whenever I can. Don’t think that I have forgotten you, okay? Call only when you need something. In a little bit, I’ll bring you dinner, and please don’t forget: do not speak to strangers, yes?” He bobs his head and hugs me lightly, kissing me on the cheek at the same time.
“Now, little man, are we going to colour or what?” Hanna grins at him, and he promptly opens the book for them to share as I stand up and dive into work.
Just as Shilah predicted, the night goes smoothly, and in no time, I am giving Dylan his beloved burger.
Soon after he finishes his food, the place fills up a bit more, and as I get a little busier, my only solace is that when I look at the booth, Dylan is there with Hanna. She’s nineteen and could easily be annoyed for having to babysit. Except, just like her mother, she’s a total sweetheart, keeping him entertained. She’s amazing.
It’s easy to whine and complain about the problems we have in life, and even though things aren’t perfect, I often seem to forget about the luck I have. Shilah and her family have been nothing but fantastic, supportive, and understanding since we arrived here. And that makes the work a whole lot easier.
I notice the beer kegs are empty, and since it’s still not too busy, I take a bit of time to change them. I do it whenever I can to avoid having Shilah do it because of her back. She is not old but had an injury a few years back, so it’s best if she doesn’t carry anything heavy.
Not even ten minutes have passed since I last saw him but when I come outside and fail to see Dylan in his booth, my chest constricts.
Neither of them is there, and my first thought is to look in the restrooms. Failing to find them there either, panic sets in. Sweat starts to pour from me as I exit the women’s toilets and search in the kitchen. Xico is there alone and looks at me with a frown. Ignoring his confusion, I head to the staff room and peek inside, but when I notice it’s empty, too, I feel like pulling my hair out and throwing up at the same time.
“Shilah!” I call her franticly. “Have you seen Dylan?”
At that same time, Professor Prick decides to come into the diner, but I am too far gone to worry about his attitude. He can taunt me all he wants, today is not his day.
Or mine.
He strides toward me with confidence, but as I watch the door behind him, it occurs to me the one place I haven’t searched for them yet: outside.
I scour the entire parking lot in a desperate hope of finding them playing together, only to find it empty. An eerie silence feeds the dread coursing through my veins. No rushing steps, not even hushed voices.
“Eleven-two,” I mumble, repeating the Portuguese emergency number. “I have to call eleven-two.”
The doorbell rings as I defeatedly rush back inside, tears brimming my eyes, threatening to fall at any moment. Giggles and a deep chuckle immediately catch my attention, and my eyes widen, only to be met with a worried Shilah hugging Dylan, and Hannah giggling side by side with my teacher.
Any other day, I’d be composed, but this battered heart can’t take being scared like this, so I rush to them, ripping Dylan out of Shilah’s arms and crushing him against my chest.
“Where were you? I was worried sick!” My voice comes out shaky as I keep him in my hold for just a little longer.
“Stop,” he whines and looks at me with an angry face. “I wanted to pee and Hannah took me to the toilet inside. She said the one out here stinks.” He crinkles his little nose.
Ugh, I panicked for nothing. I checked the staff room, but I didn’t enter to check its toilets, not thinking about them in my frantic state of mind.
“Dylan, please don’t go anywhere without letting me know first. I thought you had disappeared.” I hug him once again, and he groans a muffled agreement.
His face settles on top of my shoulder as he adjusts before asking, “Who is that man?”
And that’s when I remember just who has been watching this whole show. My body tenses, and my brain spirals, going through the thousand ways he can taunt me from now on, having discovered Dylan.
But when I finally let go of my kid and turn around, facing him, he has an easy smile stretching his cheeks, the kind I have never seen before.
“Hey, buddy. I’m Arthur. What’s your name?” His husky voice speaks first.
It’s not the usual gruff dark voice he uses, no. While addressing Dylan, his tone is lighter, even playful.
“I’m Dylan.” He puffs his chest and extends his hand to shake my professor’s.
“I can see that.” He chuckles. “You caused quite a commotion here, young man.” He tuts, looking at me with a curious glint in his eyes. The cherry red of the blushing heat covers my cheeks under his intent gaze.
“My mummy worries too much. I was just at the loo.” Dylan attaches himself to my leg, suddenly shy.
“Your mum?” Professor Adell glances quizzically at Dylan before he looks at me.
When our eyes lock gazes, his expression morphs into a shocking acknowledgement. Widened eyes and a slacked jaw tell me exactly what he’s experiencing. What I don’t understand is why. His mouth twitches as if he wants to stay something but can’t utter a word.
Well, I guess that for once, I’ve left Professor Prick speechless.