FOURTEEN
In the beginning, that was all I had hoped for: a phone call from her explaining everything, apologising to me, and telling me where she was so I could meet her. But as time went by, the flame that kept hope awake weakened.
For years, I had thought that this one phone call would be the solution to my broken heart, but after all of this time, all it does is stab at my chest with her sickly-sweet voice as the blade that pierces right through my heart.
And that is all it takes, just the sound of her voice, to bring unwarranted memories.
It was spring, but it seemed like one of those dark and cold winter days.
I guess the weather was mirroring exactly how I was feeling that day. The clouds were low and dark, threatening with one of those strong rainfalls. The wind was strong, bringing the storm closer and closer to me as if it had a magnet to my state of mind.
Which was a mess, for that matter.
I had undergone all the emotional states one can go through for four weeks by then. We were close to May, and two of my favourite people were missing from my life.
Since that night Mason had broken in, we never heard from him again, and I was fearing the worst. My parents tried their best to seem unaffected, but I wasn’t falling for it. Their social events had reduced significantly, and my parent’s marriage—which already was imperfect—was slowly crumbling to the ground.
Where could he be? Had he gotten himself into trouble? The fact that he stole so much from us meant that it was a high possibility. The worry and concern were leaving me restless. If only he had come to me for money, I would have fucking given it to him.
And as if that wasn’t enough, there was Willow, too.
The morning after I met Jake at their house, she sent me a text saying she had Mononucleosis and had to endure at least a one-month quarantine until the doctor could see her again. The next morning, school confirmed it, and my parents even forced me to go to the hospital, too, even though I had no symptoms.
I’m not stupid, and since I wanted to be a doctor, I had a pretty good idea of several different conditions, illnesses, and viruses. Mono is the latter. Also known as the kissing disease because it’s mostly spread through saliva.
And there is where it sounded suspicious to me.
If she had it, I had to have it, too, because exchanging saliva was something we had been doing a lot back then.
And no one else did, besides her and her family. Apparently.
The fact she was quarantining was not what was bothering me, though. What bothered me was the fact that it took her forty-eight hours to tell me herself, and despite my incessant calls and texts and “Get Well Soon” baskets, her answers were all scarce and curt.
It was pissing me off, feeling like talking to me was a chore, when all I wanted to know was how she was feeling, if she had a lot of fever or headaches…When I was just worried about her. It got worse when a week after she started her “quarantine”, she stopped answering at all. Not only her but everyone in their house, too.
All of that was breaking me from the inside out.
The only comfort I had in my seemingly lavish life was blowing me off big time, with no apparent reason why. It didn’t make sense at all, but mostly, it was shady. The math wasn’t mathing.
With a knot in my stomach, a racing heartbeat and shaky hands, I drove that afternoon from school to her house. It was the supposed last day of quarantine, so there was no way she could avoid me any longer.
From what I had gathered, they were all in quarantine—which may have made sense, I guess—since I’d once seen a guy delivering groceries when I was “driving by” in hopes of catching a glimpse of her from the window.
And that day, knowing she was supposed to be finally free from that so-called quarantine, no one was going to stop me from finally seeing her. Different thoughts were racing through my mind as I drove there, mostly all of the different scenarios that could happen.
Would she open the door looking healthy and apologise for all of the radio-silent time?
Would she still be feeling ill, showing me why she hadn’t answered? I knew the quarantine time for mono could be extended if the meds weren’t helping fast enough. I just hoped that wasn’t the case.
Would her parents not let me see her? Or even Jake? Too bad that it would force me to camp in front of their house because, this time around, I wouldn’t leave their house until they let me see her, anyway.
Everything felt like it was dragging back then, school, the entire days…and that drive was no different.
What was different was the ruckus I saw in front of Willow’s house when I turned onto her street. I couldn’t detect what was going on, but there were two huge trucks in front of it, with a lot of furniture and boxes on the front lawn.
Dread settled right over my lungs, like a heavy weight depriving me of the oxygen it needed so much. Those moments before my feet hit the green grass of their property were a distant fog in my mind as it screamed at me to get there as fast I could.
What the hell was happening?
Willow’s parents, Monica and Stephen, huffed as soon as they set their eyes on me, turning around to the boxes behind them and picking them up.
“Good afternoon, Mr and Mrs Hanlon,” I greeted them, eager to get to the point. “Where’s Willow?”
Monica scowled at me, and Stephen’s jaw clicked, making my own lock, too, when they ignored me and headed to the back of the truck. What was with all of the hostility? Did they believe she fell ill because of me? And what was it with all of the boxes?
“What’s going on?” I asked. “Are you guys remodelling?”
“Get out of here, boy,” Stephen snapped. “Enough harm has been done. You’re no longer welcome in our house.”
My brain felt like a broken record at that point, asking, “What the fuck?” repeatedly inside my head. Surely, this couldn’t be all because of one little virus. She was never in danger, otherwise, I’m sure Jake would have warned me.
Speaking of the devil, he showed up right then, exiting the house with a box in his arms, too. He only noticed me the moment he placed it down, his face blanching the moment our eyes met.
“Jake,” I called right as he turned around to go back inside.
“You need to leave, Liam,” he warned, sounding tired.
“What the hell is going on? Where is Willow?”
When he didn’t stop, I tightly grabbed his arm. Jake stopped but only because he wanted to, I knew it. He was four years older, only one year and a half away from finishing his degree in architecture, and even though he was a geek, he was huge and muscular—way more than I or Mason ever could be. But he was also the soft and considerate one.
On the other hand, I was always one to act first and think later. Especially if it came to her. I wouldn’t stand down to anyone. Not even him.
“Kid, this is too fucked up,” he gritted. “There’s nothing we can do; believe me, I tried. Please go home.”
“Jake, all of this is way too weird,” I answered, tightening my hold on him.
His jaw ticked, and he looked away, clearly uncomfortable with the situation, but I couldn’t care less.
“She gets sick out of the blue, needing quarantine? Why did she even stop talking to me? Where is she?”
Jake shook his arm, freeing himself from my hold, and sighed. The silence stretched, and I turned to look around him, making it a statement that I was not going to leave until he answered me. All the while, my eyes were looking for her, scouring every corner that I could find from the opened door…and nothing.
“Liam, I tried.” His voice was shaky, bringing my attention back to him properly.
Just like that morning I had come to check on her, he looked exhausted and pale. Jake looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and failing miserably. The proper sight of him made my heart thump violently against my ribcage as the black poisonous liquid of fear slid through my body.
The sudden sickness, the quarantine, and her sudden silence were an augur that I was blindly trying to ignore.
“What do you mean?” I choked out.
“They wouldn’t budge,” he admitted.
Even without knowing what the hell he was on about, it fed the panic growing within me. Because I had probably stood there for almost ten minutes, and she was nowhere to be seen.
“She left.”
What? Not possible.
A nervous smile stretched on my lips, and soon, it developed into a chuckle. He was joking. He had to be.
“Cut the crap, Jake! Where is she?” I slapped his shoulder, still laughing anxiously while at the same time, my guts coiled.
“I’m sorry, man,” he whispered.
For a moment, I froze, trying to make sense of it. But nothing did. So I followed my instinct and burst into their house, heading straight toward her bedroom. Jake’s fading voice fell on deaf ears as I focused on finding her. It was the only thing I could think about as my legs burned from rushing up the stairs.
There was hope that I’d find her doing the same her parents and brother were, that she’d give me a proper explanation and things would end up being fine, eventually…but when I pushed the door open, my heart dropped.
The desk was clean, and the bed was naked. The shelves were empty, and if I dared open the drawers, I knew they’d be the same way, too. The only thing marking the bedroom as hers was the soft pastel green on the walls.
She wasn’t there, extinguishing the little spark of hope that clung to me. That was when Jake’s words started to resonate through my head.
She left.
She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.
My vision blurred as I picked my phone up from my pocket, a desperate last attempt to get a hold of her. But when the call didn’t even go through, telling me the number was no longer registered, my legs buckled.
Willow left, and she didn’t even dare to tell me what the fuck was wrong. She gave me no opportunity to choose if I wanted it or not—whatever the hell it was. It was right then and there that I finally realised just how strong my feelings for her were.
If they were only a teenage crush, there was no way it’d feel like a final stab right through my heart. The ultimate betrayal.
My world fell to the ground that day, at the realisation that the two people I loved the most had abandoned me, without even looking back.