Back to Willow (Back Series Book 1)

FORTY

Dylan’s soft snores start to grow in strength and depth, letting us know he’s falling asleep fast—and deep—but we’re both rooted in place, looking at the six-year-old as if he’s an alien.

Barely moving, in his spot right next to me, Liam’s head twists and so does mine as we look at each other with wide eyes. This is surreal.

I know kids are more intelligent than we give them credit for, and they’re often underestimated, but this is mind-blowing. How much my kid has been aware of what has been happening around him has me flabbergasted. And the way he said it with so much ease and confidence. He is sure of his words—of his feelings. And while I should be happy, it makes me dread that result now more than ever. I could be breaking two hearts instead of one with that DNA test, and the fact that I can break my son’s heart feels like a stab to mine, too.

“He…” Liam trails off, a sparkle in his blue depths. The heaviness of his emotion shining through them pierces me.

Opening the bedroom door, I usher him outside before we wake Dylan. As soon as the door clicks shut, Liam harshly grabs my cheeks with both hands, his face close to mine. Unshed tears swim in his eyes as the biggest and broadest smile covers his face.

Yet, we’re walking opposites. While I still have a slice of apprehension preventing me from fully enjoying this moment, the man in front of me oozes happiness and pride from every pore in his skin.

“He called me Dad,” he whispers, and I gently nod. “He–” he stops himself, deep in thought. “Oh god, I’m speechless.”

“I am, too,” I comment quietly. “I never thought he would suspect this. I was planning a conversation with him after the results, but I never expected this. He is just too clever for his own good.”

“Thank you,” Liam whispers, pecking my lips.

“What for?” I lean my head back, to have a better look at his face.

“For this.” His thumb grazes my cheek, wiping a tear I didn’t even know was falling. “For giving me Dylan, for giving me a family.”

My heart skips a beat.

“I’m so scared,” I confess. “I’m terrified you’ll hate me if–”

“Lo,” Liam stops me. “We’ve talked about this. I could never.”

“But–”

“I’ll wait. Your time, your rules, yeah? It doesn’t matter the outcome.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He kisses my forehead, hugging me tight. “We’ve overcome so much, and, in the end, everything worked out. You and Dylan are in my life; that’s all that matters.”

“But I kept him from you…I was young, alone, scared, and so hurt, but it still was wrong. I shouldn’t have–” I hesitate, looking down at my feet, but he tilts my head up, forcing me to look at him.

“I understand,” he mutters, resting his forehead on mine. “It’s all in the past now.”

“Liam,” I call for him, my voice wavering the moment his hand grips my hip.

“I love you,” we both say at the same time.

The sound of his grave voice uttering the exact same words in-sync is enough to send a shiver down my spine. It must have done the same to him because as soon as I look into his eyes, the dark shade seizing his irises makes me take a staggering step back.

With his eyes doing all the talking and a serious expression, he takes one step forward. Then another and another.

He doesn’t stop until my back is plastered against the wall and his chest is pressed against mine, trapping me in. With his body touching mine everywhere, it burns from the inside out. My stomach twists and coils with every second that passes, the tension between us thickening. It’s unexpected and pleasurable—something I had forgotten all about.

It’s bringing my body back to life. He’s bringing my body back to life.

“Liam,” I moan as his fingers caress the skin on my collarbone.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asks, now reaching my jaw before gripping it gently.

“No.” I almost choke on the word.

I close my eyes and bask in the feeling of his touch. It’s tentative, delicate and feels foreign and familiar at the same time.

“If you say stop, I’ll stop right there and then. It doesn’t matter how far gone we are.”

“I know,” I whisper.

And I do.His hand stopped moving when he asked me this, showing me that even though he is the one instigating, I’m in control of the situation.

“I missed you.” His whisper echoes in my ear. “I missed you so damn much.”

His voice is shaky and raspy, travelling straight down into the bottom of my belly. For the first time in years, urgency hits me, and I clench my thighs together in a failed attempt to ease some of the pressure there. But his naughty hand lowers down from my hip to my butt, groping me.

God, this is intense.

I haven’t felt this way since...

“Liam, I haven’t—”

“Shh,” he cuts me off. “Don’t worry. Just know that I would never hurt you. You know that, right?” I nod with closed eyes. If I look at him right now, I might just break down.

“Come here,” he mutters, lowering his hands to the back of my thighs and pulling me up into his hold. It forces me to wrap my legs around his waist and the moment my core presses against his erection, I gasp as my body sizzles with internal fireworks and blinding lights.

“I know,” he groans onto my neck. “I feel it, too.”

He starts walking, carrying me to his bedroom while kissing me. I only realise we’ve arrived when he starts lowering me to his bed, letting his own body fall on top of mine. Still, he is cautious enough to balance his body weight on his elbows, careful not to crush me.

“Are you sure?” he asks, his eyes peeking up at me through his thick lashes.

“Yes,” I answer, bringing his hands down to the hem of my blouse. “Please, don’t stop.”

I’m drunk on his touch, way too submerged in this sea of pleasure and unable to let go of it. For years, I had come to terms with the fact that I’d never feel anything like this again. No one could ever make me feel like this, and the hope that we’d meet again had left my body and soul long ago.

And yet here I am. Lost in him.

“I love you,” he repeats while taking my shirt off.

Right when I am about to tell him the same words back, his lips press to my chest—right over my heart—stopping me. He keeps going, lowering to my belly, and my self-awareness awakens.

Stretch marks. My hands grab him in a frail attempt to stop it, but he swats my hands away. “No,” he grumbles. “Don’t you dare do that. Not with me.” One kiss over my stomach. A second right next to my belly button, and it follows with light kisses peppered right over my lower belly, where most of the proof of my pregnancy lies. “You’re not to cover yourself from me. Not ever. You’re beautiful.”

His hands lower to my jeans, a mischievous grin on his face as he slowly unbuttons them. The way his fingers slowly and gently graze my skin is intoxicating.

“Oh my,” I moan as my fingers slip through his hair.

Then, he grabs the waistline and pulls it down, slowly and unbelievably seductively undressing me. In an instant, I’m on his bed, lying in just my underwear, completely exposed. Instead of feeling uncomfortable, I feel loved. Cherished.

Liam has never made me feel uncomfortable—and there’s no other way I can feel when he looks at me like he’s looking at the tastiest food on earth. Like I’m his whole world.

As he is mine.

To even us out, he starts undressing by taking his shirt off first. My eyes devour his body, watching as his muscles tense and relax with every movement. The slacks follow, leaving him only in his boxer briefs.

Lowering back down on top of me, he kisses my forehead, each eye, my nose and lastly my mouth, where he licks my bottom lip, as a way to ask for entrance.

In no time, we’re both panting messes as our tongues dance together. The intensity grows to the point that his hand lowers to my core, massaging my clit, and I start tugging at his boxers.

“Ahh, fuck,” he groans before taking off his boxers and pulling my panties down while I take off my bra.

The moment he presses against me again, I gasp into his mouth, the feeling of skin on skin overwhelming me even more. We’re completely glued together and fully naked, a mess of tangled limbs, grazing skin, and frenzied grinding.

Taking me by surprise, Liam rolls us over, so I’m straddling him. With one forearm pressed against my bum, he drags his body back against the headboard of the bed.

“I want you to be in control,” he mutters while leaning onto his side to open the bedside drawer.

When he straightens back up, there’s a condom in his hand. He looks me in the eye while tearing the foil open, attentively gauging my reaction. Is he afraid I’ll get scared and bolt? Or that I’ll start to panic?

Maybe I should, but at this moment, as I stare back into his eyes, I’m serene and sure about this decision. The respect, understanding, and trust he’s shown me, which he has also cultivated in me, is a huge part of this. It wouldn’t feel right with anyone else.

“You can choose if, when, and how. I want you to be sure–” I shut him up by kissing him harshly while grabbing his dick, slowly stroking it up and down.

After an initial hiss upon my sudden touch, he chuckles, kissing me back. After a few moments, he stops my hand to put the rubber on. Then he gropes my ass, bringing me closer to him again, manoeuvring my hips to grind on him.

I moan at the feeling, snaking my arms around his neck as he buries his head in my neck.

“You feel so good already,” he groans. “I don’t know how the hell I managed this long without you.” I lift my hips a little, aligning with his shaft. “I can’t live without you.”

As those words find a home in my heart, making it flutter, I start lowering myself slowly. It’s agonising and divine at the same time. The both of us moan loudly as he enters me.

Finally, the intrusion is welcomed. Warmth spreads through my veins as we tightly hold onto each other.

My heart is bursting with love and happiness. I feel full, not only physically but also emotionally. Never before have I felt this connected to someone, in every way possible.

“Oh, Liam.” I still my movements for a few seconds, allowing both of our bodies to get reacquainted with each other.

“I know, baby. I know.” His hold on me squeezes for a moment, and it’s then that I understand…This intensity, these overflowing feelings will never lessen.

This is it for me. I start to move again, keeping a slow pace. Up and down. With my hands on his shoulders, I open my eyes to look at him. Our eyes meet, and the amount of electricity and emotion coursing through both of us is too much.

With one hand on my hip and the other at the base of my neck, we focus on each other, taking and giving whatever we can to prolong this moment. We’re being loud—I know we are, but right here and now, nothing else matters.

“I...love...you,” he mumbles between his shallow breaths.

I say it back, leaving no space for questions or doubts. Though, it becomes hard to stay anything else as the crippling emotions take over. My brain shuts down, allowing the organ in the middle of my chest to take over the wheel.

I let go, fully giving in to my love and desire for him as my pace quickens and so do our sounds. They become frantic, messy, and stunted.

“Lo, I won’t be able to hold–” I cut him off with a kiss. I know because I’m not lasting either.

The exact moment our tongues touch and his hand squeezes my bum, shivers run up my spine, spreading this strong tingling sensation through my body. My gut squeezes as does my core, forcing an orgasmic moan out of me.

Liam’s body trembles underneath mine, followed by a loud growl that he tries to muffle by burying his head in my neck. He thrusts up harshly a few times before finally stilling underneath me, his body slowly relaxing.

Losing all of the strength in my body, I let my full weight fall onto him, and he squeezes me against him, sliding us down and covering us with the sheets.

We stay quiet, lying down in his bed, holding each other. The only sounds filling the bedroom are our harsh breaths, still recovering from the exertion of the act, and the light ticking of a watch close by.

As I slowly come back down from the high, thoughts start to invade my brain. It’s been even better than I remembered, and it’s robbed me of words. Completely.

“God, was it ever like this before? I don’t remember it being this intense.” He sighs against my hair while his fingers keep running up and down my back.

“I agree,” I mutter. “It’s different now. So much better. I—” I clear my throat before continuing, “I never thought I could do this again in my entire life and enjoy it. I–”

Liam’s thumb and index grip my chin, cutting me off. He tilts it up, gently beckoning me to look up at him.

“I am honoured you chose me,” he whispers, pecking my lips.

“There’s no one else in this universe I could do any of this with. I’ve realised that now.”

He grins, kissing me again.

After a few minutes, he begrudgingly stands up to dispose of the condom, coming back to bed immediately after and diving under the sheets. He tangles his body with mine, cuddling me.

We talk for hours, catching up with everything that has happened through the years we’ve been apart. I tell him about Dylan; all of the funny stories and all of his firsts, promising to show all of the pictures and videos I’ve taken so far. He confesses how diving into school after I left was his saving grace, allowing him to graduate one year early. The guilt tries to eat away at me at his confession, but he quickly snaps me out of it with kisses and tickles.

We talk until my eyes feel heavy and start to close on their own accord. The Sandman finally sprinkles some of his magic dust, lulling me into dreamland after one entire week of nightmares. And while Liam’s body warmth keeps me safe, right before sleep takes over, I still faintly hear the words he mutters in my ear, “I love you, Willow. I never stopped.”