Chapter 12
Caspian
I’m an asshole. There’s no two ways about it. Alex put on a bright smile last night and played every part the professional record executive, but the hurt look in her eyes as she ripped me a new one played over and over in my head the rest of the evening and all of today.
I worked at the ranch while she worked at the festival grounds overseeing promo.
Even though it’s well past midnight, my fist hovers at her door, but I don’t know what I’ll find behind its mahogany exterior.
That’s if she even opens it at all.
I deserve her anger. But I also deserve a shot. I've spent too long thinking I wasn't deserving of patience or forgiveness. Getting to know Alex has shown me that support doesn't have conditions. It's just there when you need it.
Inhaling deeply, I knock on her door. It takes a few seconds before it swings wide.
Damn if she isn’t the sexiest woman around, her hair damp, her face scrubbed clean, ratty sweats and all.
“What are you doing here, Caspian?” Her voice is clipped.
“I’m manning up.”
She crosses her arms and leans against her door. She won’t make this easy for me, that’s for damn sure.
“Can I come in?”
“I don’t think so.” She points between us. “The festival is starting, and we're both swamped, remember?”
“Please.”
“I'm not confused anymore, Cas. Crystal clear, actually. And clarity tells me to keep this door closed.” She starts to shut it, but I cut her off.
“I’m falling for you, Boots.”
She blinks at me several times but remains silent, the door partially open.
“I was a jackass and pushed you away.”
“Why?”
“Divorce is hard. It plays a number on your head, and I left that relationship feeling like I wasn’t healthy or deserving of someone’s love.
” I lean my head against the door jamb. “But your support through my panic attack was the final piece that helped me realize my ex is the one who failed me, not the other way around.”
I take out my phone and open my music app, playing Scotty McCreery’s “Bottle Rockets.”
“All I want is a dance, Boots. Just one.” I set my phone down and begin to hum.
Her shoulders drop as she exhales, and she takes a small step toward me. The scent of her shampoo, something floral and clean, fills my lungs as the dim lights of the hallway shine in her eyes.
Without hesitation, I pull her into the hallway, my arm settling at the small of her back as I draw her close. The melody drifts through the empty corridor, creating our own intimate and private moment where we fall into an easy two-step.
Her blue-green eyes look into mine as she follows my lead effortlessly, our feet finding rhythm without thought. Hootie and Scotty sing about moonlight and holding hands as I turn her in slow circles, her body moving with mine like we've danced together a hundred times.
Golden light from the wall sconces illuminates her soft features as she hums along. We glide together across the narrow hallway, swaying more than stepping, the tension finally thawing between us. Letting her guard down, Alex’s cheek settles on my chest as we move in time to the music.
As the song ends, I spin her out and reel her back in so that she collides softly with my chest. I pull her into a hug. “I’m sorry, Boots.” I breathe in her fresh scent. “And you were right. I was never confused about what this is.”
“What is this to you?”
“Something beautiful.”
I kiss her softly on the lips, then pick up my phone off the wood floor. “Thank you for the dance.”
Her cheeks flush as she looks at me. “I accept your apology, Cas.”
“Thank you. I’ll see you in the morning.”
As she closes the door, she whispers, “For the record, I’m falling for you, too.”
Twenty Minutes Later
I wanted to stay with Alex. Fuck me if leaving was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But I hurt her, and she needed to know I’m not the kind of man who intentionally hurts the people I love.
I’m staring out at the darkened hills, hands in my pockets, as her words play over and over in my head. I’m falling for you, too. She wouldn’t share that with me if she wasn’t ready to forgive me, right?
That’s not a word I’m used to or allow myself the courtesy of having. Forgiveness. And I think it’s about time I allow myself some of that.
A soft knock sounds at the door behind me, deliberate and confident, making my stomach flip.
Is it her?
Can’t be. It’s late.
But who else would knock at this hour? Eli or Matty would reach me by phone for a ranch emergency.
Anxious, I swing the door open without waiting to see who’s on the other side, my pulse spiking in anticipation.
Damn if it’s not Alex’s curvy frame that greets me, her hair now dry, her sweats still ratty. Her voice catches in her throat. “I missed you.”
I yank her inside, pulling her close, and whisper in her ear, “I missed the hell out of you, too, Boots. So fucking much.”
Although it’s dark in the room, moonlight shines through the large windows, illuminating the space that’s a carbon copy of hers. Wordless, Alex takes my hand and guides me toward the bedroom.
I stop her steps away from the four-poster bed. “I’m so fucking sorry, Alex.”
“I know.” She stands on tiptoe to kiss my chin. “What you did wasn’t really about me. You were protecting yourself, and I get that.”
She rests her head on my chest, squeezing me tight. “You also took accountability for your actions, which says everything I need to know.”
My throat is tight with the reality of just how much I care about Alex. Her light snuck into my darkness and lit it from within.
“What we have is too important to let fear win, Caspian. I forgive you, but I need you to forgive yourself, too.” She slowly backs toward the bed, drawing me with her.
I slide the curtains open so the moonlight shines within. It gives her skin a milky glow as she pulls her sweatshirt over her head, tossing it to the floor.
Time seems to slow and race all at once, the world narrowing to just this, the taste of her lips, the soft sound she makes when I kiss her, the way her fingers tangle in my hair like she's afraid I might disappear. When we finally break apart, we're both breathing hard, foreheads pressed together.
“I need you to touch me, Caspian.”
Alex reaches for my jeans, undoing the silver buckle before unzipping the denim and pulling them down along with my boxer briefs. Her hand wraps around my thick erection, confident and sure, making my knees nearly give out as I groan.
“Alex. You keep that up, and I won’t be gentle.”
“Who says I want gentle, Cowboy.” She drops to her knees and licks my dick, taking its engorged head in her mouth with a loud pop. Her tongue swirls the tight skin in deliberate circles, leaving a glistening trail as she gazes up with eyes full of both mischief and devotion.
My fingers instinctively fist in her silky hair, the gentle scrape of her teeth sending electric currents racing up my spine.
“Fucking hell, Boots.”
Then, her mouth envelops me completely, her eyes fluttering closed with a soft moan that vibrates against my sensitive skin. She hums in pleasure, the vibrations traveling through my core, the tell-tale tingling building suddenly.
I pull out of her mouth. “Get on the bed, Alex. Now.”
She stands, flushed and glistening, stripping off her leggings as she backs toward the mattress. Every movement is slow and deliberate, like she knows damn well she’s killing me. Moonlight spills across her bare skin, painting her in silvery shadows.
Fucking. Perfect.
I crawl over her, bracing on my forearms as I claim her mouth in a kiss that’s nothing but hunger and apology and promise. She arches beneath me, her breasts pressing to my chest, her curvaceous hips lifting in silent answer and invitation.
“I’ve thought about this since the second I laid eyes on you,” I rasp against her lips. “Didn’t know I could want someone this bad.”
Her hand cups my jaw, soft but sure. “Then stop thinking, Cowboy. Show me.”
I roll on a condom and slide inside her in one slow thrust, burying myself to the hilt. Her gasp punches through my chest like a brand, and the tight heat around me nearly undoes every ounce of control I’ve got left.
“Jesus, Alex…” My forehead drops to hers. “You feel like home.”
“You do, too.” She cups my face as I start to move. “Cas, I’m not staying in Nashville.”
I stop. “What did you just say?” My breaths are heavy, my emotions raw.
“I’m opening the label with Nash. I love it here, and I’ve got a lot to look forward to... especially you.”
Her words split me wide open, like the last wall I’d been hiding behind just came crashing down. She isn’t staying just for me, but hell if I’m not part of her forever now.
I frame her face in my hands, rough palms against her soft skin, and crush my mouth to hers. Her gasp parts her mouth for me, and I take it, sliding my tongue against hers, tasting everything I’ve been starving for.
The kiss is desperate and reverent all at once as if I’m worshiping her and wrecking her in the same breath. The world narrows to the heat of her mouth, the arch of her body beneath mine, the promise of everything we’re about to become.
I slide out of her wet heat slowly then slam back inside.
Alex clings to me, her nails digging into my back as I start to move, every stroke deeper, harder, the sound of our bodies colliding filling the quiet night.
She meets me thrust for thrust, no hesitation, no fear, just this wild, consuming need that feels like it’s been waiting for us all along.
“Look at your sweet pussy takin’ my cock so tight and greedy.”
I flip her over, cupping her thick ass. “On your knees.”
She kneels on all fours, her blue eyes looking over her shoulder at me.
“Fuck me, Cowboy.” I enter her from behind, my hands gripping her hips like my life depends on it.
She cries out my name when I grind against her, and the sound unravels me.
I pull her up so we’re both on her knees, where I kiss her hard, swallowing her moans.