Bad for You

Five

W e’ve driven for hours.

But I don’t mind.

It’s sensory overload as I try to keep up with the sights and sounds that flood my brain. I’ve not seen or heard them before.

Being outside the walls of the orphanage reveals just how much I’ve missed. Being locked away was safe in a sense because being out here in the big world is terrifying. But as Lenny takes my hand, I know everything will be all right.

I still feel unease because everything is so…new. I didn’t realize the world was so big.

Franklin hasn’t spoken a word.

He looks at me briefly in the rearview mirror before returning his attention to the road. I wonder if he works for Aldo. That would make sense as the sisters wouldn’t allow us to leave unless payment was made.

But I can’t shake the feeling that something is amiss.

“Come now. She waits.”

Who is she?

Aldo never mentioned a woman.

It seems my questions are about to be answered when the van turns into a driveway. Big steel gates are in front of us, and a security booth is to the left. When the guard inside sees us, he nods at Franklin before pushing a button, and the gates open slowly.

The neighborhood is affluent, but I can’t see the house past the thick greenery that shields it from prying eyes. Lenny and I bend low in our seats to get a better look, and when Franklin ascends the driveway, we gasp in utter shock.

As the foliage peels away, a white mansion set on a hill can be seen. The windows are endless as are the stories. The house has balconies coming out from all sides, giving off the appearance of an almost compound.

This is our new home?

The closer we get, the more lavish I can see this place to be.

The lawns are manicured. The water fountain of three musical cherubs adds to the charm. The marbled stairs lead to white double doors.

Just who lives here?

Franklin parks the van and unlocks the doors, indicating we’re to get out.

I clutch onto Cat, suddenly more afraid than I’ve ever been before.

“It’s going to be okay.”

Lenny’s voice calms me, and I nod, realizing I can do this. I didn’t come this far to quit.

We step out, the thin soles of my shoes doing nothing to protect my feet from the graveled drive. Lenny stands in front of me, something I noticed he did with Father Merry.

He folds his arms and stares a hole in the front door as we wait for it to open. Franklin also waits, as it seems whoever owns this house demands respect, and when the white doors open, I understand why that is.

She is finally revealed.

Her long hair is blacker than the darkest night. But her eyes are clearer than a cloudless sky. She is slender but not frail. She fills her tall frame with ease. Her nails are bright red as are her lips. Gold jewelry complements her tight black pantsuit.

Just who is this woman?

Her heels click down the stairs as she approaches us. Lenny doesn’t move. He stands tall, protecting me. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don’t feel ill at ease with this woman. I don’t know why. I just know she isn’t going to hurt us.

So I step out from behind him and face the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.

She stops walking when we lock eyes. A look of perhaps surprise on her stunning face. It’s gone before I question it.

“Hello,” she finally says with an accent similar to Aldo’s. “I am Gianna Ricci, your new family. This is your home now.”

She doesn’t smile, but she isn’t unfriendly either. However, her short announcement leaves so many unanswered questions.

“Hello, Gianna,” Lenny says confidently. “Not that we’re unappreciative, but who are you?”

Gianna has the perfect poker face. “Hello, Lennon. But you prefer to be called Lenny?”

He nods.

“Well, Lenny, all questions will be answered in due time, but for now, let’s get you fed, washed, and out of those rags.”

She turns, indicating we’re to follow.

Franklin waits for us to move. Perhaps he’s afraid we’ll run. But where would we run to? We’re orphans no one wants, so I don’t understand why a woman like Gianna would want us. We’re useful to her for some reason.

I just don’t know what that reason is.

We follow her, and the moment I climb the stairs and get a glimpse of the foyer, I feel more than undeserving. I kick off my dirty shoes, fearing I’ll leave grime on the polished floors. Lenny leaves on his boots and ensures he stays in front of me as he follows Gianna.

She doesn’t say a word as she leads us down a long corridor until we reach a door. She opens it. A king-sized bed and other bedroom items adorn this huge space.

“This is your room, Lenny. There is everything you need inside the bathroom. All the clothes inside the cupboard and drawers are yours. You have an hour.”

“An hour for what?” he asks, confused.

Gianna simply smiles before turning around and addressing me. “Come.”

I look at Lenny, biting my lip, but he nods that it’ll be okay.

Without him, I’m afraid, but I eventually follow Gianna because I don’t want to get lost.

I hold tightly on to Cat while I take in my surroundings. When we reach the grand staircase with red carpeted stairs, I can’t help but take note of how soft the carpet feels beneath my bare feet. The sunlight streaming in from the stained glass windows shoots rainbow spheres across the floor.

I trace them with my toes and wonder if this is what my life will be from now on.

The hallway at the top of the stairs is long, giving me a bird’s-eye view of below. It feels as though I’m a princess in her tower, looking at her kingdom below. It’s surreal as I only ever saw something like that in the tattered storybooks I stole from the library.

But now, it’s as if I am living a real-life fairy tale.

“This is your room,” Gianna says, opening a door.

When I hesitate, she moves aside, gesturing for me to go in. But I can’t.

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

My question appears to take her off guard. “Would you prefer I be mean to you instead?”

I shake my head.

“Then do not ask stupid questions because you are not a stupid girl.”

And just like that, Gianna reveals she doesn’t appreciate weakness.

I won’t make the same mistake again.

“Good girl. Meet me in the gardens in an hour.”

And without another word, she leaves me alone.

I peer into the room, almost afraid to go in, for fear this is one big joke. To be given such luxuries, only for them to be taken away. But I remember Gianna’s words and use them to take one step, then two into the bedroom.

It’s so big in here, I almost feel lost. I’m not used to such space. The bed is draped in pink silks with a sheer curtain hanging from the wooden posts. I’ve never seen such a design before.

My feet sink into the plush white carpet as I walk over to the walk-in closet. I see all sorts of clothes hanging from the rails, and when I open the drawers, I find clean socks and underwear.

Are these all for me?

I finger over the garments and decide on a simple white dress. The tag is still attached. I can see it cost a lot of money.

I place Cat onto the floor, and he goes about examining his new home happily. I think he will be happy here. But will I?

Grabbing what clothes I need, I walk into the attached bathroom and take a moment to appreciate its beauty. Everything is so white and clean. So clean it practically sparkles.

The claw tub, although beautiful, drags bad memories to the surface, so I strip off and turn on the faucets in the shower.

I will never take a bath again.

Pushing aside those memories that have no place in my new home, I step into the shower and stand under the hot spray.

It feels wonderful.

Having a shower all to myself is something I can get used to very quickly. I didn’t realize a shower could feel this good. I wash myself with the coconut-smelling soap until my fingers are wrinkled, but I don’t care because I finally feel clean—in every sense of the word.

I step out and dry myself with the huge fluffy towel.

I dress and take a deep breath before looking at myself in the mirror.

I don’t recognize the person I see.

My cheeks are rosy, and although I am tired, my eyes don’t appear afraid.

I look different.

I feel different.

Finding a brush in the top drawer, I comb it through my hair until it’s perfectly straight and soft. I don’t bother drying it because I’m running out of time.

I quickly brush my teeth.

I slip on my knee-high white socks and Mary Janes with five minutes to spare.

Closing the door so Cat doesn’t get out, I realize I have no idea where the gardens are. This is surely a test Gianna laid down for me, and I cannot fail.

Taking the stairs two at a time, I race out the front door because there are gardens out there, but when I don’t see Gianna, I take a left and run to the side of the house in hopes she’s there.

She’s not.

My heart is beating so loudly, I can hear it in my ears, but I don’t give up. I continue my search for what feels like hours, and as I run past the inground pool, I hear something catch on the wind.

It’s a tiny meow.

I pause and close my eyes, using the sound as my guide, and when I hear it again, I know it’s coming from down the hill. I don’t think twice and run so fast, the wind blinds me, but I continue going until I see Gianna standing with Lenny near a stream that snakes below the property.

Something is very wrong with Lenny’s expression, and I don’t know why until I see what Gianna is holding.

The decline is rocky, but I make it down without falling because I’ve already made a grave error, one in which I’m about to pay dearly for. I slow down and try to compose myself. But it’s too late.

Gianna looks at her gold watch. “You’re late.”

“I know,” I breathlessly reply. “I didn’t know where the gardens were. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Her red lips are pulled into a thin line as she pats Cat. I don’t know how she got him, but I do know that this is not good.

“Why do you have Cat?”

Lenny discreetly shakes his head, hinting I’m not to ask questions.

He looks good in his black jeans, boots, and white shirt with a flamingo print. His hair is wet but flicked back like he ran his fingers through it. We both look different, it appears, but what’s the same is the fact he is still trying to protect me from the evil that comes.

“Valentina.” It’s the first time she’s said my name. It rolls off her tongue like she’s said it before. “I thought we established you were not to ask stupid questions.”

I don’t know if this is a trick question, so I persevere anyway. “We did, but I do not understand why you have Cat. Forgive me for my foolishness.”

She mulls over my comment, patting Cat.

“You are forgiven, but let this be a lesson learned.” She passes Cat to Lenny, who looks at her just as confused as I am. “Drown him.”

Surely, I misheard her. But it’s apparent I did not.

“What?” I cry, running forward, tears streaming down my cheeks.

Lenny clutches Cat to his chest protectively. “No.”

Gianna appears taken aback that he disobeyed her. “That wasn’t a choice. It was an order.”

“I don’t take orders from anyone.”

She laughs, but nothing about it is kind.

“Please, Gianna, no—”

I don’t have a chance to finish before she strikes out and slaps me across the cheek. She slaps me so hard, I taste blood.

Lenny growls, launching forward, but I thrust out a trembling hand, stopping him from lashing out at Gianna.

He thankfully obeys.

“I u-understand. It won’t happen again,” I say, allowing the blood from the corner of my mouth to trickle down my chin.

This is our first lesson, and we’ve both failed.

“Good because I do not give second chances. I will not raise weaklings. I need fighters. And if neither of you have brains and brawn, then it’s best I return you now.”

Return us? That’s how easily she can dispose of us.

She needs fighters? For what? Just who is Gianna, and what have Lenny and I walked into?

“We are not weak,” Lenny says firmly.

“No, you are not. But you love,” she replies with disgust. “And that is what makes you weak. Love makes you weak. Love will be the death of you. Love does not do anything but hurt. Learn that, and you will survive in this world.”

I don’t understand any of this.

“What do you want with us?” Lenny doesn’t seem to care that Gianna is our judge, jury, and executioner. I admire his strength, and I know that Gianna does too.

Someone like her has done her research. She knows we’re the misfits who don’t do what we’re told. It’s a trait that works in her favor but also against her because, like any wild animal, she needs to break us in. And she knows we will fight her every step of the way.

She will take away the things we love to teach us a lesson, and now, I understand why she adopted both Lenny and me. He is the only thing I care about in this world. And I think he feels the same way about me.

We are one another’s collateral, and Gianna will use that for her gain.

She doesn’t care about our past. About where we came from. She doesn’t care what our aspirations are because she only cares about using us for her own personal gain. The question now is, what does she need us for?

“All will be revealed very soon. Until then, don’t question me again.”

I stand my ground as she walks toward me. I know better than to cower. She uses her thumbs to wipe away my tears.

“Let these be the last of your tears.”

And with that, she turns on her heel and leaves us alone.

Thankfully, Cat survived another day. But can the same be said for both Lenny and me?

Once she’s out of earshot, Lenny passes me Cat. “It would be kinder to let him fend for himself.”

He’s right. But I can’t abandon him. I won’t do to him what my mother did to me.

This is her fault. All of it. And I know here, now, that I will do anything . I will kill anyone to find her and do to her what she did to me. If Gianna can help me achieve that, then I will do what I am told.

“What does she want with us?”

Lenny shrugs, and for the first time since meeting him, he genuinely looks concerned.

He too knows that whatever is headed our way can’t be good because neither of us will mistake Gianna as the motherly type.

We’re here for a reason.

But what’s the reason?

I wake to a blaring alarm.

At first, I believe I’m stuck in a nightmare, but when my senses play catch-up, I realize I’m not dreaming.

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I look around the room and wonder if perhaps a fire triggered the alarm. But I don’t see any smoke.

Placing Cat into the pillowcase for safety, I quickly run to the doorway and peer into the hallway, wondering what’s happening.

The alarm continues to blare.

I don’t see any commotion, but an alarm wouldn’t sound for no reason. Just as I’m about to race to Lenny’s room, I see his mussed brown hair bouncing up the stairs.

“Are you okay?” he asks, placing me at arm’s distance and peering me over.

I nod, touched by his kindness. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know. Let’s find out.”

He grabs my hand and leads me down the hallway. When we don’t see anything up here, we head downstairs. Lenny seems to know his way around, and I guess that’s because he’s taken the time to investigate.

I don’t have time to admire the huge kitchen he drags me through because the alarm picks up speed, producing a panicked, shrill noise. The urgency of his tone has my heart racing because it suddenly feels like we’re running out of time.

Lenny opens the back door, which leads to a balcony.

We stop as he peruses over the edge, and when I see Gianna standing in an open field, lit by a floodlight, my stomach drops.

She tips her chin upward, staring right at us.

Lenny doesn’t hesitate and drags me down the stairs as the alarm grows more and more urgent. The moment we reach the grassy field, the alarm stops.

I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.

Gianna looks at her watch with a stiff upper lip.

She’s dressed in all black. Tight black yoga pants. A black tank. And sneakers. Her long hair is tied into a high ponytail. She looks ready for combat.

“Four minutes and twenty seconds,” she says, shaking her head. “It takes thirty-three seconds from your room, Lenny, but I’m guessing the delay is because you used your heart instead of your head.”

She looks at me like I’m a helpless bug she could squash under her shoe.

“A lot can happen in four minutes and twenty seconds. The house could be completely swarmed and apprehended in four minutes and twenty seconds.”

“Apprehended by who?”

Gianna smiles, the first genuine response I’ve seen on her face.

“By anyone who wants all of this.” She sweeps her hand toward the house. “Everyone is the enemy. Never mistake anyone to be your friend. People will only be good to you because they want something from you, and when they get that, they’ll betray you and not feel a thing.

“Don’t wait. Never hesitate. You strike first. If you are vulnerable, your enemy will exploit that for their own gain. There is no loyalty. There is no love. That’s lesson number two.”

First lesson is don’t ask stupid questions.

And the second is don’t be vulnerable.

“Just what do you want from us?”

I hold my breath, afraid Lenny has broken rule number one.

Gianna smirks. “You are a very clever young man. I will look after you. I will keep you safe. My home will always be yours. You will never go hungry. You will never be afraid.”

I hold my breath, waiting for the punchline because there’s a catch. I know there is.

“And what do you expect in return?”

Gianna’s red lips tip up into a catlike smirk. “Your undevoted loyalty.”

“And?” Lenny prompts, folding his arms across his bare chest.

She doesn’t answer.

She turns to look at me and says, “Take off your nightgown.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask why, but I don’t because that would breach both of her rules. It’s apparent she sees me as a weakling, so I squash down my embarrassment and slip off the white nightgown over my head.

I have on underwear and a crop top, so I’m not totally naked, but standing bare in front of Lenny has my cheeks blushing. However, I don’t cover up. I stand with confidence.

Gianna smiles. It’s apparent she’s pleased I listened. I don’t know why, but her approval makes me happy. I find myself wanting to do it more.

She looks at Lenny. He has his cheek turned, respecting my modesty. I find the sentiment to be kind because no one has ever treated me with such respect before.

But Gianna clearly doesn’t when she brings her foot down onto his knee. He buckles but stays upright. He glares at her while she simply dares him with a look to challenge her.

He doesn’t.

“Never take your eyes off the enemy,” she states, circling him like prey.

“I didn’t realize you were.”

“Never assume,” she counters, stalking him like a lithe cat. “Yet another lesson.”

I watch with interest, unsure what’s about to happen next.

Lenny soon reads her stance and mirrors her movements. It’s kill or be killed, and I suddenly fear how accurate that saying may be.

Gianna clearly knows how to fight. The way she moves, she looks like she can bring a man to his knees with ease. I watch with interest because something inside me stirs in excitement. I want to carry the confidence she does.

“Hit me.”

Lenny knows she isn’t joking, so he advances and attempts to strike her without hesitation. But Gianna reads his moves with ease and effortlessly dodges his attack. She doesn’t give him time to rethink his decision because she bends low and uses an upward sweep of her palm to hit him in the stomach.

He staggers backward, inhaling sharply because she winded him.

He soon recovers and advances with fire behind his eyes. He’s mad she was able to catch him unawares. He attempts to connect with her ribs, but she jumps back and kicks him in the flank.

He clutches his side, breathing deeply through his nose.

I can’t look away because Gianna isn’t breaking a sweat. I’ve seen Lenny fight, but he doesn’t compare to Gianna. She’s a beast and makes it look so easy.

He lunges out to strike her, but again, she is too fast and spins in a circle before punching him in the kidneys.

“You disappoint me,” she tsks, brushing back a stray hair that has come loose—one single hair while Lenny looks like he’s about to pass out. “Perhaps fighting someone a little more in your league then.”

She turns to look at me, and I now understand why she asked me to disrobe.

She did this so I would be vulnerable—to Lenny and myself. She thought if I was half naked, then I would be too occupied protecting my modesty to protect myself. And Lenny wouldn’t want to hurt me while I was vulnerable this way.

A lesson learned— if you are vulnerable, your enemy will exploit that for their gain.

But there is another way to look at it; what if the prey was really the predator in disguise? Could the little lamb fool the Big Bad Wolf into thinking she was nothing but a weakling when, in reality, she was just biding her time, looking for his weaknesses to use against him and play him at his own game?

Only one way to find out…

“I will not fight her,” Lenny says, making it clear Gianna can go to hell.

I whimper, wrapping my arms around my frail frame. Gianna watches me closely. Can she see through my ruse?

“It’s okay, I won’t hurt you,” Lenny says, walking toward me, only offering me comfort.

This is wrong, and I know it is. Lenny has been nothing but nice to me. To betray him this way leaves me riddled with guilt. But I have this urge to please Gianna. Or perhaps I have something to prove.

I’ve been the underdog my entire life, and now, I can change that, but it’s at the expense of my only friend. What sort of person does that make me?

Lenny has been there for me when no one else ever has, and now, I plan on exploiting his trust.

What do I do?

The closer he gets, the louder my heart beats. I don’t think I can.

I suddenly feel light on my feet. This is not the person I want to be. I don’t want to be someone who treats people this way, especially Lenny.

But I’m also sick of being weak.

I refuse to be feeble a second longer.

The way Gianna was able to protect herself is what I want. No more being at the mercy of vile men like Father Merry. Or his friends.

No more.

I’m done being a victim.

I will sacrifice who I must to never be at the mercy of anyone ever again.

I sniff back my staged tears as I push out my bottom lip.

Lenny’s face softens.

My heart breaks.

The moment he reaches out for me, I think of my mother—the faceless woman who never gave me a chance. She had borne me into this world only to abandon me.

What sort of a person does that?

And my father, nothing but an animal.

What hope was there for me? With two parents such as mine, was I always destined to be this way?

Perhaps that is why Father Merry singled me out. Did he sense I was the root of evil and only fated to commit horrific acts in the vein of my father and mother?

Did I deserve the acts bestowed on me?

As a flash of light strikes the heavens, I realize that no, this isn’t my fault. I didn’t deserve what was done to me, and I’ll be damned if I let those who hurt me dictate my life a second longer.

I am not weak.

I’m a survivor.

I could have given up, but I didn’t.

And I promise here and now, under the starless sky, that those who wronged me will pay. But first, I need to think with my head and not my heart. Because if you can fight the one you love and beat them…then you can fight anyone.

“It’s okay,” Lenny says once again, kindness swimming in those vibrant eyes.

I take his hand and relish this moment of warmth because I’m certain it will be my last. The moment is soon replaced with fire when I remember all the horrible things I’ve endured, and I thrive on that to draw Lenny toward me, catching him unawares.

He underestimated me—he won’t ever do that again.

No one will.

“I’d never hurt y—”

Before he has a chance to break my heart further, I finish this quick. I don’t want to delay gratification. It hurts too much. I won’t win fighting him, so I draw my knee up and connect with what’s between his legs.

His eyes widen, clearly stunned, before he drops to the ground, wheezing for air.

I take no pleasure in seeing him in pain, but as I turn to look at Gianna, I see that she does—or rather, she is pleased I did what she said.

“Good, piccola . What did you learn?”

I think over her question because I know this too is part of her test.

Lenny has gotten up but is sure to stand far away. I don’t blame him. The betrayal he feels is written all over his face. I know this changes everything between us now.

Is that what Gianna wanted all along?

But I need him to know why I did what I did, and maybe he can find it in his heart to forgive. Or, at the very least, understand my actions.

With eyes locked with his, I reply, “If you can fight the one you…love and beat them…then you can fight anyone.”

Gianna nods while my confession only seems to incite Lenny further.

“Very good. We will meet again tomorrow morning at nine o’clock.” Gianna leaves me alone with Lenny, who doesn’t say a word.

We simply stare at one another, and although I’m saddened that Lenny looks at me with hatred in his eyes, I don’t regret what I did. It’s either eat or be eaten, and I soon realize that I would, that I have betrayed the one I love.

“Daddy’s proud, baby girl.”

That voice is familiar.

But why?

It comforts but disturbs me all in the same breath, and the fact eludes that I just heard my father’s voice.

I don’t know if it’s his, or maybe I have finally succumbed to the voices inside my head. Regardless, I know that I was reborn tonight.

I was reborn into who I was always destined to become.