Baja (Fallen Ravens MC #3)

1. Alice

1

ALICE

After checking my watch for what feels like the hundredth time tonight, a twinge of anxiety hits when only five minutes have passed since the last glance. I will do anything for my daughter, so I sit at the Fallen Ravens clubhouse just thinking about her and what I might do next.

My daughter Sukie is dating Harlem, the club’s enforcer, and tonight the clubhouse is buzzing with energy for his birthday celebration. Their relationship has grown serious, so much so that she recently moved in with him.

At first. Sukie hesitated, torn between the excitement of a new chapter and the guilt of leaving me behind. “I just don’t want you to be lonely,” she said, her voice cracking with worry. It broke my heart to see her hold back, afraid to embrace her happiness because of me.

But watching her with Harlem—how he looks at her, how she lights up around him—fills me with nothing but pride. She found a love that makes her glow, and no one deserves it more than Sukie. After everything she’s been through, all the pain life has thrown at her, I’d move heaven and earth to make sure she lives the life she’s always dreamed of.

“Hey.” A hand lightly touches my arm, bringing me out of my wandering thoughts. I regard Ophelia, who is looking at me with a warm smile. “You okay?” she asks.

I wave her off with a lie. “Of course. I’m just tired.” The truth is, leaving my house most days is a struggle. But I refuse to allow anyone to see.

Ophelia grins. “I’m right there with you. I can’t hang with the boys like I used to.”

In recent months, Ophelia has taken me under her wing, and we’ve become fast friends. At least twice a week, she drags me out of the house for lunch and often convinces me to come to the clubhouse whenever the club is throwing a party or having a family dinner.

Family … that’s precisely what the club has become.

It’s been years since that word has meant anything and since I’ve felt accepted.

Ophelia nudges me with her shoulder. “At least stay for one more drink. How about another beer?”

I smile. “Sure, but just water for me. I’m driving myself home.”

“You got it.” She stands. “Be right back.”

A tingling sensation washes over me as I watch Ophelia approach the bar. It’s the same sensation I’ve been ignoring all night. I don’t have to look to know his eyes are on me, and I seek him out no matter how hard I try to fight it. I nonchalantly glance over my shoulder where—like a moth to a flame—my gaze lands on a pair of intense amber eyes. All the air rushes from my lungs as Baja’s stare holds me captive. I struggle to take my next breath as I allow my eyes to rake over his handsome features. The man has to be at least six four. He has long, dirty blond hair that he keeps tied up in one of those man buns that, on most men, I don’t find appealing, but on Baja, it’s one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen. As soon as the word sexy starts rolling around in my head, I’m instantly embarrassed and force myself to look away.

I suck in some much-needed air, close my eyes, and mentally chastise myself.

The man is practically your daughter’s age, Alice. Get a grip.

Lifting my hand to my cheek, I examine how heated my skin is.

“Here ya go.” Ophelia returns with my water.

I mutter a thanks and quickly twist the cap off and down half the contents.

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Ophelia asks a second time. “Your face is awfully flushed.”

I pause mid-sip and nearly choke on the water. “I’m good,” I say around a cough. “It’s just a little warm in here.” From the corner of my eye, I see Ophelia watching me with a thoughtful look. Suddenly, I feel exposed, like she can see every thought racing through my head, and the urge to run is overwhelming.

Abruptly, I stand. “I need to use the bathroom,” I mumble before retreating.

When I feel familiar eyes tracking my movements, this time, I force myself not to look. I’m desperate for an escape and a place to gather my thoughts, but luckily, nobody stops me on my way to the bathroom, and relief washes over me the minute I step through the door.

I close the door quickly and brace my palms against the sink as I fight to get my breathing under control. And for the first time in forever, it’s not a panic attack that’s taken over my body.

It’s him .

It’s the way he looks at me.

It’s the way he commands my attention without uttering a single word.

It’s the way my body reacts to his presence.

It’s the way he undresses me with those amber eyes, stripping me bare as if he can hear every thought running through my head.

It’s how he makes me feel in a way I have never felt before.

It’s been years since I have felt even a smidgen of attraction toward a man.

Now, here I am, lusting over a man I have no business thinking about in that way. Yet I can’t help but wonder what he thinks and sees when he looks at me.

Is it an attraction? Is it curiosity? I shake those thoughts away.

There is no way a man who looks like Baja could ever be interested in me. I’m too old. Too much of a mess. On top of all that, I’m a convicted felon. Not that Baja or anyone in the club would judge me for that, but I certainly would not be a first pick for a man like Baja when he’s surrounded by young, beautiful women daily. He probably pities me and my lonely existence. But why does the thought of Baja seeing me that way disappoint me?

Lifting my head, I stare at myself in the mirror, studying my reflection, and ask myself who this stranger is looking back at me. Over the years, I’ve lost so much of myself that I no longer recognize that woman in the reflection. The real Alice is inside her somewhere, though. I know she is. And she’s desperate to be set free. But I don’t know how to go about letting her free.

Blowing a breath, I turn the faucet on and let the cold water fill my palm before splashing some on my face. I repeat the process several times until I better handle my emotions. Not wanting Ophelia to think something is wrong and to come looking for me, so I quickly dab my face with a hand towel. After stealing one last glimpse at myself in the mirror, I open the door of the bathroom and come to a screeching halt.

Casually leaning against the wall across from me is Baja. Heat radiates from his eyes, filled with a look I can’t quite decipher. It’s a promise mixed with something else, and that something causes a prickling sensation in my core. Nervously, I run my tongue across my bottom lip and watch Baja’s nostrils flare and his pupils dilate.