Baja (Fallen Ravens MC #3)

5. Alice

5

ALICE

Rolling over in bed, I look at the clock on the bedside table. Five o’clock on the dot. I tossed and turned all night and got maybe two hours of sleep because every time I closed my eyes, thoughts of Baja flooded my dreams. I’m exhausted, yet my brain won’t let me sleep past five. Years of being told when to go to bed, when to wake up, and when to eat will do that to a person. I’d love to know what it feels like to not wake up before the sun each morning, to truly feel at peace enough to give into the invisible shackles holding me prisoner.

I toss the blanket aside and climb out of bed, going across the hall to the bathroom. Bracing my palms against the basin, I stare at my reflection. The dark circles under my eyes indicate how little sleep I’ve gotten in the past few days. The incident with Baja is affecting me mentally. The man single-handedly flipped my world upside down, and the longer I stare in the mirror, the more I question what he sees in me.

What do I see? I see a weak, lonely shell of the woman I used to be.

As I lay in bed last night, I couldn’t help but wonder if Baja saw me the same. Does he see me as an easy lay? But I quickly quashed the notion because deep down, I know he’s not that kind of man. The only person who got off was me. It was all about my pleasure, and in my experience, men are selfish creatures.

Not wanting to pollute my mind with the past, I shake off memories of my dead ex and go about getting my day started. Once I’ve brushed my teeth and moisturized, I throw my hair into a messy bun, then dress in a pair of cut-off jean shorts, a white tank, and khaki wedge sandals. Walking to the dresser, I pull open my jewelry box and pick out the gold necklace Sukie gave me for my birthday two years ago, along with some gold bangles and gold hoop earrings. I forgo makeup since after I run errands, I plan to spend the rest of the day in the greenhouse.

My cell phone is vibrating on the table when I enter the kitchen. I pick it up to see Sukie’s name flash with a text letting me know she’ll email the store’s inventory list this morning so I know what to pick from the nursery in town. After typing a quick response, I go to the office and fire up the computer. A few minutes later, Sukie’s email pops up. A quick scan shows my nursery haul today will be a big one. Once I’ve printed the spreadsheet, I shove it into my back pocket.

Fifteen minutes later, I’m heading out the door with my travel mug.

I come to a screeching halt at the sight of a familiar figure standing in my driveway. My next breath gets lodged in my throat, and a sinking feeling settles in my stomach. “What are you doing here, Ricky?”

Ricky’s gaze flicks down to my trembling hand, and a sinister smile spreads across his face. Ricky is what most would describe as handsome in a conventional way. He’s six feet tall, has a lean build and broad shoulders, and has dark, clean-cut hair. He is pure evil and my ex’s cousin. Like the other men in his family, Ricky is a cop.

Ricky shrugs. “Been a while, Alice. Figured I’d stop by and make sure you were behaving. Can’t be too careful having felons on the loose.” He sneers. “Another innocent person could end up hurt,” Ricky says as if my ex was innocent. He knows what kind of person Brock was. The whole family is full of bad seeds, Ricky included. Every man in that family has a thing for abusing women. The first time I met Ricky’s wife years ago, she had a black eye and a bruised jaw.

Ricky takes two steps away from his car in my direction. For a split second, I consider turning and running back inside to call the police, but I abandon that thought just as fast. The chances of cops helping me are slim to none. I could call one of the guys at the club, but I want to avoid burdening them with my problems. That and if word got back to Sukie, she’d worry. She has her own life to lead, and I refuse to let mine disrupt hers.

Squaring my shoulders, I let my shaky legs carry me down the porch steps toward my truck. “Well, you came, and you saw, Ricky. Now, you can get in your car and go back to Boston.” I yank open the truck door. “If you show up on my property again, I’ll call the police.”

When the threat leaves my mouth, Ricky is in my space, and my back is pressed against the driver’s door. “Don’t ever think you can threaten me, bitch,” Ricky sneers, his face an inch from mine. “You think you’re untouchable because your daughter is playing whore for a biker? Let me tell you something, Alice, that piece of shit club can’t protect you.”

I try to push Ricky away, but he only presses further, causing the truck’s door handle to bite into my back. I stare into eyes that are filled with so much hate. “Let me go, Ricky.”

The asshole grabs hold of my jaw in a punishing grip. “Or what, Alice?” His fingers dig into my skin, sharp and unyielding, forcing me to meet his piercing gaze.

Finally, he releases his hold on me and backs up, but the reasons behind his presence are not clear. “I’ll be seeing you around, Alice.” He walks back to his car, and the bastard folds into the driver’s seat, puts his aviators on, and then casually backs out of the driveway.

I allow myself to move once his car is no longer in sight. My legs feel like Jell-O as I climb into my truck. My grip on the steering wheel is tight, trying to regain control of my emotions. I haven’t seen Ricky in months and thought he’d given up on harassing me.

For years, he would show up randomly. Sometimes, here at the house or when I ventured into town. He didn’t always approach me, but occasionally, he would confront me. I noticed I stopped seeing him around when Sukie started seeing Harlem, so I was certain having the club around deterred him. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case.

Not that I’m surprised.

Men like Ricky are arrogant.

Ricky and Brock were thick as thieves growing up. Brock always said they were more like brothers. It’s been years, yet he still can’t let what happened go.

One thing is sure—I can never let Ricky discover the truth.

Only the club knows.

I did what I had to do to protect my daughter.

If Ricky finds out about Sukie, he’ll go after her.

I have all the confidence in the world that Harlem can keep Sukie safe, but his way would end up with another dead cop. I can’t allow the club to put themselves under a police microscope, so I need to figure out how to deal with Ricky myself.

Once I have collected myself, I shift the truck into gear and head into town. For now, I’m going to shake off the encounter.

Twenty minutes later, I pull into the nursery parking lot. As soon as I climb out of the truck, Shelly, the owner, greets me with a smile. “Morning, Alice.” She sets a potted fern inside the entrance gate and removes her gloves. Shelly is a tiny slip of a woman in her mid-sixties with abundant white hair and is always in overalls. I met her a few months after I got out of prison and took over the greenhouse for Sukie. She was the only woman in this town that has treated me respectfully. Shelly has always been a ray of sunshine, and today is no different.

“Morning, Shelly,” I return her greeting.

“What you got for me today?” she asks.

I pull the inventory sheet from my back pocket.

“Ooo weee.” Shelly scans the sheet.

I laugh. “No kidding.”

“I’ll grab a cart and get started on this right away. I also got that German Chamomile you requested last time.”

“Perfect! Thanks, Shelly.”

Shelly waves her hand at me. “For you, honey, anything. Now let me get started on this list.”

While Shelly busies herself, I head toward the back to scope out some pots and pick up a new water hose. I’m scouring the pot aisle when I hear someone call out my name. Looking over my shoulder, I spot Ophelia walking my way, and with her is Mystic’s little girl Lorelei.

I smile at them. “Hi.”

“You don’t know how happy I am that we ran into you,” Ophelia says. “I haven’t a clue what I’m doing.”

I laugh. “And what is it that you are doing?”

Lorelei is the one to answer, “We’re getting flowers!”

I crouch to eye level with Lorelei. “You are? What kind of flowers are you getting?”

“The pretty kind we put in the ground. I asked Daddy, and he said we could.”

“He did?” I match her enthusiasm.

Lorelei giggles. “Yup. And I want to have the bestest, most pretty flowers ever.”

I peer at Ophelia. “Let me guess, you were roped into this task?”

“You would be correct. I wasn’t born with a green thumb. I can’t even keep a cactus alive.” Ophelia shakes her head. “I could really use your help. Only if you’re up for it.”

Lorelei jumps up and down. “Yes, Ms. Alice, will you help me with my flowers? Please! I want to have the prettiest flowers in the whole world.”

“I would love to help you!” I tell her.

Ophelia’s shoulders sag with relief. “You are a lifesaver, Alice. Really.”

I wave my hand at her. “It’s no trouble at all.”

My attention is turned back to Lorelei. “What do you say we go pick out some flowers.”

“Do you think they have pink flowers?” Lorelei asks.

“Oh, they do. Come on.”

Over the next hour, I help Lorelei and Ophelia pick out flowers of all colors, soil, mulch, hoses, a sprinkler, and gardening tools. Then Lorelei insists on getting a pair of rubber boots like she’s seen me wear when I work in the greenhouse. She even convinces Ophelia to get a pair, too. I can tell gardening is not Ophelia’s thing, but the woman would do anything to make her granddaughter happy.

Once we finish, Shelly says, “I’ll have Cole load your stuff on the trailer and drop it off at your place.”

“Thanks, Shelly. I won’t go straight home, so tell him he can leave everything beside the greenhouse.”

“Will do, hun.”

I wave goodbye to Shelly as I climb into my truck. Turning to Ophelia, I let her know I’ll follow her to Mystic’s place to guide them through getting everything set up.

Fifteen minutes later, we pull up to Mystic’s house, and I park behind Ophelia.

“Thank you again for coming out here to help.”

“No thanks necessary.” I smile. “What do you say we unload this truck and get started?”

Already in her boots, Lorelei rushes to the back of the truck. Over the next few hours, we prepare the soil in the flower beds and plant every flower picked out.

Mystic has a beautiful, lush green lawn, but it needs landscaping.

“Well, what do you think?” I look at Lorelei, who has dirt smudged all over her face and clothes.

“I love it! I can’t wait for Daddy to come home and see.” Lorelei looks at her grandmother. “Do you think Daddy will like it?”

“Are you kidding?” Ophelia taps Lorelei on the nose. “He’s going to love it. Why don’t you go inside and clean up while I fix iced tea and a snack.”

“Okay!” Lorelei rushes off inside the house.

I can’t help but smile. “I had a good time today,” I tell Ophelia. “It reminded me of when Sukie was little, and we’d garden together.” I shake my head. “It seems like forever ago.”

“Yeah.” Ophelia lets out a sigh. “They grow up fast. Before you know it, your kids are having kids. And who knows, maybe Sukie will make you a grandma soon.”

I can’t help but smile at the thought of Sukie and Harlem having a baby. “I look forward to that day.”

“Something tells me they won’t make you wait long.” Ophelia laughs. “Those kids are crazy about each other.”

“I’m glad Sukie has Harlem. She deserves to be happy.” My smile slips as my thoughts drift back to not so long ago, before Harlem came into my daughter’s life. I remember how people treated her and how lonely she was— all because of me.

Ophelia touches my arm. “Hey, are you okay?”

I shake off my self-loathing. “Yeah, yeah. I’m good. Just lost in thought, is all.” I pull off my dirty gloves. “I should probably get going.”

“Wait, I can’t let you go without at least feeding you first. How about a cold glass of tea and a sandwich? It’s the least I can do for all your help today.”

“Sure. I can stay for a bit.”

“Great! Come up on the porch and take a load off while I bring us something to eat.”

I follow Ophelia up to the house and sit in one of the wicker chairs on the porch. When she returns several minutes later, she carries a tray with iced tea, sandwiches, and fruit. “I hope turkey and cheese is okay.”

Just then, as if in perfect timing, my stomach lets out a loud rumble. “Turkey is perfect. Thank you.”

Ophelia takes a seat across from me. “Looks like it will be just us two. I went inside and found Lorelei passed out on the couch.”

“I’m not surprised.” I chuckle. “She outdid herself today.”

A long silence passes between Ophelia and me as we eat our food before she finally speaks. “So, want to tell me what’s happening between you and Baja?”

I nearly choke on a grape. “Wh… what ?”

Ophelia lifts a brow, her expression knowing. “You heard me.”

I fidget in my seat while avoiding eye contact. “I… well… what?”

“You and Baja. Something happened the other night at the clubhouse.”

“What did you hear?” I ask.

Ophelia shrugs. “Not much. The guys gossip like old church ladies, sometimes forgetting who might be around when they do, and people talk. You know, gossip spreads like wildfire.”

“What… what were they saying?”

Ophelia grins. “Not much. Just how Baja has it bad for a certain MILF. And how you two disappeared into his room during the party.”

“Oh my God.” I feel my face heat beet red.

Ophelia continues, “So, is there anything you want to tell me?”

I bury my face in my hands and groan. “It was nothing. A complete lapse in judgment that I’m sure Baja regrets. Especially now that the guys are poking fun at him.”

“Why in the world would you think he regrets anything?”

My head snaps up, and I blink. “Are you serious?” I shake my head. “Look at me. I’m a forty-two-year-old ex-con, and Baja is a twenty-something, sexy-as-hell man who could have any woman he wants. Of course, he regrets what we did.”

Ophelia narrows her eyes at me. “Are you kidding me right now? So, what if you’re forty-two? That’s not dead. And have you looked in the mirror recently? You, Alice, are a fucking knockout. And don’t you forget it.” Her face warms at her following statement. “As far as that ex-con bullshit goes, the people who know and care about you are aware of the sacrifice you made to protect your daughter.”

I swallow past the lump in my throat. “Thank you.”

“I’m just calling it like I see it, doll. Any man, including a man like Baja, would be lucky to have a woman like you by his side. I’ve known Baja for a long time, and he’s a man of character. He also respects the hell out of women. He might be a notorious flirt, but there is no way he regrets what happened between you. Your daughter is his brother’s old lady, making you a part of our circle. He wouldn’t try to pursue you unless he was serious.”

I let Ophelia’s words sink in. “You think Baja is serious about me?”

She grins. “Absolutely.”

I slump back in my chair. “What would people even think? What would Sukie think?”

“Fuck what people think.” Ophelia pops a piece of sandwich in her mouth. “And as far as Sukie goes, I’m guessing she’d be happy as long as her momma is happy.”

“No.” I shake my head. “The idea of me and Baja is ridiculous. The other night was a fluke, a one-off. Nothing will come of it. This thing between me and Baja, it will blow over in a few days, and everything will return to normal. Besides, he’s probably forgotten about it by now.”

Ophelia snorts. “You are so full of shit, doll.”

I gape at her.

“Don’t give me that look. If your friends don’t call you out on your bullshit, then who will?” She picks up her turkey sandwich and takes a bite.

I glare at my friend, which only makes her smirk.

She’s right, though. I’m trying to pretend that the other night meant nothing, but in reality, it meant everything . The real problem is I’m terrified. I’m completely and utterly scared shitless because no man has ever made me feel the way Baja does, and I’m still trying to figure out what to do with that.

Am I even capable of opening my heart to another man? The last time I let a man into my life, he destroyed it.

The safe bet would be to ignore my feelings for Baja and protect my heart, right?