Baja (Fallen Ravens MC #3)

19. Alice

19

ALICE

I’m sitting cross-legged on Nash’s bed at the clubhouse, watching him dress. He opens the middle dresser drawer and pulls out a tee. He’s been quiet all morning. Nash didn’t speak a word while he took me in the shower earlier, and he didn’t share more than a few mumbled greetings over breakfast. And it’s obvious his parents sense his mood and don’t push for conversation.

As a parent myself, I empathize with their motivations. I often feel an overwhelming need to protect my child from painful truths, believing that keeping certain secrets will shield her from hurt. Parenting is not always easy. It’s a journey filled with mistakes and challenges. There are no guidelines or manuals. I remind myself that mistakes are a natural part of this journey. It’s easy for anyone to forget this when navigating feelings of uncertainty and betrayal.

One day, you are living a carefree life without responsibility. Next, you have this tiny human relying on you to keep them alive. The truth is ninety-nine percent of parenting is winging it.

Did Nash’s parents make a mistake by keeping this secret for so long? Perhaps. But I also believe they acted on the best of intentions. I have no doubt that deep down, Nash knows his mom and dad acted out of love. But for now, he needs time to process, which is why I won’t force him to talk about it. When he’s ready to share what’s happening inside his head, I’ll be here to listen and support him however I can.

I veer the conversation in a different direction. “What time do you want to head to the hospital?”

Nash sits on the edge of the bed to lace up his boots. “In an hour. Can you be ready by then?”

“Yep. I just need to do something with my hair since someone made me get it wet this morning,” I tease.

The corner of Nash’s mouth quirks as he peers at me over his shoulder. “Isn’t that the purpose of a shower?”

“Yes, but I washed and dried my hair last night to save time this morning.”

Nash leans back on the bed, grabs the front of my shirt, and brings my mouth to his. “You came twice on my cock this mornin’, babe. Are you sayin’ it wasn’t worth the extra time it’s goin’ to cost?”

“Oh, it was definitely worth it,” I mutter against his lips.

We’re interrupted by a knock on the door, and when Nash pulls away, my disappointment is evident.

“What?” he calls out.

The door opens, and Laredo pokes his head in. “Church in five.”

“All right, brother.” Nash stands.

“Is everything okay?” I ask but then quickly amend my question. “I know club business is between you and your brothers. I’m not asking you to share. I’m just worried about today.”

Nash’s expression goes from guarded to soft. “Come here, baby.”

Climbing off the bed, I walk straight into his arms.

“The club will not let anything happen to the people we care about. There will also be a heavy police presence. Salem PD and the fire department have a chili cook-off every year. Anyone would be stupid to start shit in broad daylight in front of hundreds of witnesses and half of the town’s first responders.”

My arms tighten around his waist, and I let out a sigh. “You’re probably right. Besides, today should be about honoring your brother and raising money for the hundreds of kids and families in need.”

Nash leans in close, gently cradling my face in his hands. His eyes lock onto mine, and a smile plays at the corners of his lips. “You know…” he murmurs with an intensity that makes my heart race. “Have I ever told you how fuckin’ amazing you are?”

“You’re pretty amazing yourself,” I whisper, and Nash takes my mouth in a rugged, wet kiss.

Nash leans forward, pressing his forehead gently against mine as his fingertips grasp my hips firmly. I can sense a change in his demeanor, a weight settling over him like a dark cloud.

“You okay?” I ask, my voice laced with concern.

“Yeah, babe. Just thinkin’ about my brother,” he replies, his tone heavy with an underlying pain that tugs at my heart. “It doesn’t matter that we don’t share the same parents. Elliot was my brother in every sense that truly mattered.” His words hang in the air, filled with a profound loss.

“Yes, baby. Nothing will ever change that.” I kiss the tip of his nose. “How you continue to honor your brother shows what kind of big brother you are. And nothing…” I emphasize, “… nothing can tarnish that. No matter what happens from this day on, don’t forget that.”

Nash squeezes his eyes shut, fighting to regain control over his swirling emotions. “I won’t,” he mutters, his voice rough and resolute.

Once the guys finish with church, everyone heads out. Even Lily decides to join us. And though things are still awkward with Nash’s parents, she opts to ride to the hospital with them in their rental car. Salem has appointed Juneau as their detail and Lily’s personal guard. However, Juneau appointed himself the night Lily arrived at the clubhouse.

Nash and I are the last to leave, and as we make our way toward his bike, a flash of orange catches my attention. Sitting on a tree stump about twenty feet away is Tom. Perched beside him is Nimbus, the club’s cat. When Salem ordered everyone to hunker down at the clubhouse, I had Nash go to my place and bring Tom here, and since then, he and Nimbus have become an inseparable duo.

“Looks like he’s made himself at home. I’ll have to talk to Salem and see if Tom can remain a permanent fixture at the clubhouse. Separating the two doesn’t seem right.”

Nash chuckles. “I’m sure Prez won’t mind.”

I wait for Nash to straddle his bike and climb on behind him. The bike’s tires kick dust as we take off down the gravel driveway. It doesn’t take us long to catch up to the group. Nash brings up the rear as he falls in line behind Juneau. Salem leads, followed by Mystic, Harlem, and then Laredo. Behind Laredo is Ophelia in her truck with Lorelei. Then, there is Juniper in her jeep. And behind Juniper are Nash’s parents and Lily. This is my first time riding through town with the entire club and witnessing the attention they bring as Harleys rumble down Main Street.

To say I’m shocked by the number of people and businesses that came to show support for the children’s hospital would be an understatement. At least a dozen local restaurants across Salem have set up food trucks, and all proceeds will go to the charity. The local high school football team is conducting a car wash at the far end of the hospital parking lot. Some local bakeries compete in a bake sale. Mrs. Newsom’s dance troop has set up a lemonade stand. And like Nash had mentioned before, the Salem police department and fire department are having a chili cook-off. There is also an array of activities to keep the kids entertained, such as train rides, bounce houses, face painting, bingo, and cookie decorating contests, to name a few. Whoever the club hired to organize the event outdid themselves. They even devised ways to include the children in raising money, such as an art show where the children get to auction off their masterpieces.

After Nash takes me around, I seek out his mom to volunteer and help set up her booth. As I unbox some honey, I hold out one of the jars and read the label, Elliot’s Honey. “Did you make all this?” I ask Caroline.

“Technically, the bees made the honey.” She laughs. “But yes. I harvest it.”

“That’s so cool. How long have you been doing that?”

Caroline smiles. “Practically my whole life. My grandmother was a beekeeper. When I was a little girl, I spent my summers helping her on the farm.” Caroline’s eyes turn glossy. “After we lost Elliot, I fell into a depression. That’s when I decided to go back to my roots. I took everything my grandmother taught me and poured all my grief into making honey.”

My eyes shimmer with tears. “That’s beautiful, Caroline. And coming to Salem every year to participate in the hospital charity event is a lovely way to honor your son. I know it means a lot to Nash to have you and his dad here.”

Caroline gently brushes away a stray tear that has escaped down her cheek, her voice trembling as she speaks, “Thank you, Alice. Hearing those words out loud truly means a lot to me.” A subtle shift in her posture reveals a hint of discomfort, as if she’s grappling with her next question. “Speaking of Nash, can I ask you something, Alice?” She hastens to clarify, her expression earnest, “I know we don’t know each other well, and I hope I’m not overstepping, but how is Nash doing? His father and I have decided that it’s best to give him space to allow him to approach us when he’s ready to talk more. Still, the thought of my boy in pain is tearing me apart.”

I mull over Caroline’s questions and try to figure out how to answer them without breaking Nash’s trust.

“You know what.” Caroline waves her hands back and forth. “Forget I asked. It was incredibly rude of me to put you in that position. I mean, of course, he’s not all right.”

“Caroline,” I try to cut in, but she doesn’t hear me.

“Not only does he find out his uncle is his birth father, but Jax drops his pregnant sister off on his doorstep. It’s a lot to deal with all at once.”

“From one mother to another, I get it. And I don’t think it’s wrong of you to ask.”

Caroline’s shoulders slump. “I promise, I’m not always this crazy.”

I laugh. “It’s been a crazy week, so you’re allowed to be a little unraveled.” Once she’s calmed down, I continue, “I’m not going to lie and say Nash is okay because he’s not. But he is getting there. There’s a lot he’s trying to work out in his head. I can promise you that I will help him through this however he allows. For now, we both are going to have to be patient.” I touch Caroline’s shoulder. “You’re his mom. You were there to rock him to sleep as a baby, there for his first steps, word, and day of school. You were there through every illness, every bump and bruise. You saw him through his first heartache and when he learned how to drive. You cheered him on through every milestone in his life. Every bit of his life is wrapped up in you. Nash will never forget that.”

Caroline’s eyes flood with tears. “Nash is lucky to have such an amazing woman in his life.”