Balance (Oakley’s Crew #2)

13. Cane

13

CANE

I can’t believe I told him I wanted to date him. And by the freaked-out expression on his face, he couldn’t either.

Today was supposed to be my wedding day, and I haven’t seen him or Evie since the day I had the best kiss of my life and blurted all that out. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.

I haven’t been in a relationship with a man before. I never wanted to be until now. I only ever really wanted Evie that way. I’d hooked up a few times before with guys and girls when we’d break up, but I never felt the way I feel when I’m around Archie—not even with Evie.

And yes, that makes me feel like a shitty human, but it doesn’t make it any less true. So now here I am, just sitting on my back deck, watching the sun go down on what was supposed to be my wedding day, sipping a beer and thinking about a gorgeous redhead.

I’m an idiot. I should have just kept kissing him—I ruined it with talking, but I meant every word I said. I didn’t break up with Evie because I wanted to be with Archie. I broke up with her because something wasn’t right. But when he walked into my store with those beautiful, playful eyes, something in my chest—deep in there—just felt settled.

Balanced, for the first time in my entire existence.

I couldn’t keep my mouth shut when he kissed me because I want a real shot with him. I want the whole thing. But I want to take it slow. I know Evie’s family, my family, and this town—and whether it’s right or not, there will be so many people talking about it. I can hear it now.

Oh, that poor girl. Did you hear? Her fiancé was actually gay the whole time and left her for a man right there at the altar. Hell, I bet they’d even whisper the word gay, as if it’s some sort of swear word. It’s disgusting, and it makes my belly turn, but I can’t change this little world we live in.

I can’t hurt her like that on top of everything else. So even if I do explore this thing with Archie—and God, I want to—I have to be careful. That is, if I didn’t totally scare him off.

Just then, I hear the rumbling of a truck approaching, and I already know who it is. I can feel it—even before I see Archie approaching, and he sits down next to me with a sly smile on his face.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” I say, trying to slow my rapid heart rate, but it’s not working because he’s here. And he looks damn good in ripped jeans and a black t-shirt, his red hair tousled just right, and his facial hair trimmed into a neat beard. “What are you doing here?”

I hope he doesn’t think I mean that I don’t want him here because I do. I definitely do, but his warm grin tells me he knows. “Thought today might be rough for you.”

“It’s not as bad as it probably should be,” I admit. “You drive the company truck?” I can’t see the front of the house where he parked, but I’m just giving him a hard time.

“No. It’s Saturday. Sadly, I had to bring my own truck.”

I grin. “I’m glad you’re here,” I say honestly. I’ve spent so many years hiding a part of myself, and I guess I don’t want to anymore. I’m too old for games, and Archie—he just does it for me. I can’t deny my attraction to him. “Want a beer?”

He nods in answer, and I go inside to grab him a beer before handing it to him and taking my seat next to him again. My heart is thundering wildly in my chest, and I wonder if this night will end in a kiss or not.

I know I said I wasn’t ready—and like I said, I need to be careful, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to kiss him.

“This is nice land.”

Okay, small talk it is. “Thanks. I like it out here. First thing I did out of high school was get a job trimming trees. Saved up enough for a down payment and bought this place.”

“I like it. Was it a fixer-upper?”

I smile, thinking about how the house didn’t even have a front door when I bought it. The floors were rotting in places, and it needed new sheetrock throughout the entire house. But it was mine. “That’s an understatement. Fuck, I slept in the living room on the floor for months while I fixed it up. Damn roof leaked like a son of a bitch, and I thought very seriously about putting a tent in here to keep dry.”

He chuckles and takes a sip of his beer. “No leaks now?”

“None,” I say proudly. “Hired Langley’s Construction to take care of the roof, but I did pretty much everything else myself.”

“You know Thatcher?” he asks, and I wonder if they’re friends, considering they both live in Hayes.

“Just for that job. Heard they were the best around.”

“Surly fucker.” He smiles and takes another sip, looking out at the sunset. “You know Hayes is having their big street dance next weekend.”

“That so?” I ask coyly, taking a drink of my own beer. Street dances are pretty big around here. I’ve been to the one in Hayes a couple of times. Evie dragged me there, but it was fun. Been to a couple in Kensley too, but Larnard doesn’t have one annually.

“It is. Thought we could go.” I turn my head to look him dead-on, hoping this means what I want it to mean. “As friends, of course.” The smile that formed on my mouth in great anticipation fades slowly, and I nod, my heart pinching uncomfortably.

“Right,” I say dumbly. Damn me and my bigass, stupid mouth. “That would be fun. Great thing for friends to do.” I take a big gulp of my beer now, and he settles back into his chair, seemingly thrilled with our plans as friends.

I can’t help but wonder if he wants it that way or if it’s because I told him I wanted to date him and for this not to be just rebound sex. That I want something real. Maybe he’s just trying to give me time like I asked.

Man, I’m a mess.

After we finish our beers, we go down to the barn to say goodnight to Dolly and Baby, playing for a while with the ornery animals. By the time we walk up to the front of the house to where his truck is parked, I’ve already second-guessed everything at least a hundred times over.

We stop by his truck door, neither of us really saying anything. My palms are sweating, and my nerves have kicked up, but I’m not playing games. I want to go after what I truly want and to stop worrying about everything else.

“Hey, Archie?”

“Yeah?” he asks quietly, his body so close I can’t help but close my eyes for a moment and breathe him in before letting them open slowly to look him straight in the face.

“I want to go with you to the street dance, but I want it to be a date.”

His eyes widen slightly with surprise, but it doesn’t look like fear. “You do?”

I nod, swallowing the thick lump of nerves in my throat. “I do. I just um...” I lick my lips nervously. “I want it to be a real date and everything, but I have to think about Evie and being discreet.” I wince internally, kind of hating that word. I don’t want him to be a secret.

Thankfully, his lips turn up in a slight smile, and he leans into me, his big hand brushing against my cheek. “Right. I mean, you’ll be in a rival town. Can’t let anyone know you’re from Larnard. Shit, I have a reputation too.”

I laugh at that and shove him playfully in the chest. “Dick, that’s not what I meant.” He knows what I mean though, that much is clear, and he doesn’t seem bothered by it. In fact, he recovers quickly, and his hand goes to the back of my head, his mouth devouring mine. I moan loudly into the kiss, my hands gripping his shirt and pulling him even closer as his tongue and mine fight for dominance.

This time, he’s the one to pull away, both of us panting hungrily. “It’s a date, and don’t worry about it. I don’t want to hurt Evie either. We can be very discreet out in public as long as indoors, I don’t have to hide a damn thing from you.”

My cock thickens at the implication, and God, I just want to pull him into my house and say fuck the date, but I remind myself to take it slow. Do this right. “It’s a date,” I say, unable to stop my fingers from dragging over my lips, wishing I could feel his mouth on mine again.

He must be able to read me because he presses a sweet, soft kiss against them and then pulls back to look into my eyes. “I’ll see you next Saturday.”

“Yes.”

He kisses me one more time, and then he hops in his truck and takes off. I feel giddy. There’s no other way to describe it. I’m excited for the first time in a really long time.

I cannot wait for Saturday.