Balance (Oakley’s Crew #2)

18. Archie

18

ARCHIE

“ D amn, you smell good,” I say, laying with my head on Cane’s chest, my naked body pressed against his, and I smile when his chest rumbles with laughter.

“I smell like sweat and cum.”

“Exactly,” I say, leaning up on my elbow to lick between his pecs and up his neck to his mouth. “Fucking heaven.”

He laughs again and then indulges me in a deep, soul-stealing kiss until we’re both breathless and needy. I roll onto his body, our cocks lining up and leaking so much precum, I don’t have to grab the lube. I grab our cocks in my hand and stroke us both, our shafts sliding against each other as we kiss and grunt, writhing in his big bed until we’re both coming our brains out and making a sticky mess between us.

I can’t get enough of the man.

Yeah, I was hurt yesterday at the pumpkin patch when he acted like we were just friends, but I understood why he did it. Coming out isn’t easy. Not at all. But especially when it was his ex-fiancée’s friend. An ex who doesn’t know he’s bisexual.

It sucks, but it is what it is.

“Hey.” Cane’s hand comes up to rest against my cheek, and I realize we’ve stopped kissing. “What are you thinking about?”

I could lie to him, make a joke about having just come my brains out, but that wasn’t what I was thinking about, and he knows it. I don’t want to hide my feelings from him. I don’t want to make a joke. “Yesterday,” I say quietly and roll off him, but don’t bother to clean up.

We both need a shower anyway, and I’d like to do that together, despite the heavy conversation I know is about to happen.

“I’m going to talk to Evie.” He rolls to his side, and I do the same, propping my head up on the soft pillow.

“I don’t want you to do that before you’re ready.”

He drags a finger down the side of my face and then over my lips. “I’m ready. I’m more than ready. I can’t run into that situation again. I don’t want to ever hurt you like that, Archie.”

Emotion clogs my throat, and it’s hard to speak. “I promised myself I’d never hide who I was again after my parents kicked me out.” I hate talking about them, but when Cane let go of my hand yesterday at the pumpkin patch, everything just came rushing back to me.

I was that insecure teenager all over again, just wondering why my parents didn’t love me just for me and not for what they wanted me to be. “You should never hide who you are. You’re an incredible man.” He seems to be holding back more words though. I’ve noticed he’s been doing that more and more lately. Like he wants to say something but pulls it back.

“But you shouldn’t be forced out of the closet before you’re ready.”

He smiles and leans forward, pressing a chaste kiss against my lips. “Good thing I’m ready. I’m...” Again with the pulling back.

“You’re what?” My heart is thundering in my chest at his hesitance. What’s holding him back. What’s he keeping from me? Is he still not sure he doesn’t want to go back to Evie? Maybe he’s not in this as much as I am? Hell, if he’s going to come out for real, maybe he wants to play the field.

He sighs heavily, and I mentally prepare myself for what’s coming. At least I try to. I’m not sure I could take any of those scenarios. “Fuck it.” He grasps my face in both hands. “I’m so in love with you, Archie, I can barely stand it. I don’t know how this happened, but I don’t care. The moment I saw you, I knew you were different. That everything was going to change, and I won’t ever hurt you again because I love you with everything I have.”

I stare at him in shock. Absolute shock. I can’t move. I must be breathing, but I’m not so sure. He loves me? Like loves me, loves me? Me?

“Goddamn your parents. Goddamn them for hurting you like that. For making you feel unworthy. You are the most worthy human I’ve ever met.” He kisses my nose and my cheek. “You deserve the world, Archie. You’re kind and caring. Funny and smart. So worthy of love, and I love you.”

“I um . . .”

He offers me the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen, and it nearly makes my heart explode. “It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. Take your time, but you and me, we’re endgame. I’ll love you until my last breath, and I know that’s scary.” He kisses my lips softly and doesn’t give me a chance to stumble through my words—thank God.

He takes my hand and leads me out of the nice warm bed, but thankfully, we only head toward the shower. We climb inside under the warm water, and he washes me before I wash him, kissing and running our hands over each other, but it doesn’t go further than that.

When the water starts to grow cold, we climb out, dry off, and get dressed before he makes us breakfast and we head out to the barn to feed Baby and Dolly. And his words echo through my head the entire time.

He’s in love with me.

I scratch Dolly’s head. When she leans into it, I find myself smiling. I’ve always liked animals but haven’t gotten any of my own. I guess it just seemed too adult—being responsible for lives other than my own.

“You ever think about getting more friends for them?” I ask and catch Cane’s attention.

He sits down on a bale of hay, watching me with Dolly and Baby. “Yeah. All the time. I wanted a full-on farm out here when I bought this place but...”

“But what? You have plenty of room and a nice big barn.”

“Yeah, um... Evie barely tolerated Dolly and Baby, so I guess I just kind of gave up on that idea.”

I frown. I mean, if she didn’t like animals—that’s fine, I guess—but it makes me sad that he was willing to sacrifice so many things just to please others. I want him to be truly happy, whatever that entails.

“There’s an auction today in Larnard.”

He quirks an eyebrow at me. “Yeah. There usually is on Sundays.”

“We should go,” I say, scratching Dolly’s head and smiling at her cute little face. “This place should be full of animals, if that’s what you want.”

He snorts but doesn’t seem to be opposed. “Let’s go.”

I light up, and he smiles that big, beautiful smile in my direction. “You really want to waste your day off going to the sale barn?”

“Hell yeah.” I jump up, getting more excited about the idea. “Best burgers in town by far.”

He chuckles, but everyone around here knows it’s true. They have a great little kitchen in the back of the barn. They even have pie. Kind of weird that people eat during the auction—the smell of animal shit wafting around the place, but hell, the food really is that good.

He doesn’t argue anymore, and we load up a couple of pens in the back of his truck—in case he wants to bring any animals home—and head to the auction. The sale barn is buzzing with excitement when we get there, and I have to remind myself not to touch Cane, even though I’m excited and happy as hell to be here with him.

I can do this. There’re bound to be a lot of people he knows, and I even see some people from Hayes I recognize and give a nod to, so I know it’s a strictly platonic outing of friends.

My stomach sours at that, but it’s okay. Cane loves me. I can’t help the goofy grin on my face, but I still jolt in shock when I feel Cane’s hand slip into mine and look over at him. “There are a lot of people here,” I say, my throat dry.

He grins. “That’s okay. I meant what I said, Archie.” He smiles and leans a little closer to me. “I’m in love with you.”

I can’t form the words. But God, I hope he knows how much I love him too. Thankfully, the auctioneer’s voice booms over the loudspeaker, and we’re distracted by the cute little pigs brought out next.

When the auction is all said and done, Cane is bringing home two pigs and one goat. I’m excited as hell to introduce them to their new sisters as we park out at the barn, letting the pigs and goat get used to their new home.

I’m already becoming addicted to the smaller piglet’s snuggles as the sun starts to go down. I just sit there in the barn with both piglets hanging out right by me. The goat is all too happy to butt her way into the food trough, and Dolly and Baby aren’t all that sure of any of the new animals making the barn their home, but I have no doubt they’ll get used to it.

“We need names,” I say, holding onto the sweet little pig.

“What are you thinking?” he asks me, giving his attention to Dolly and Baby so they don’t feel too disgruntled.

“Anything but Bacon,” I say, and he snorts.

“Who would name them that?”

“My uncle was a real asshole,” I grumble, thinking about the little pig he had at his farm. I cringe, thinking about the cruel jokes they made back before I understood what a lot of farmers actually did with sweet little babies like this one.

“Never,” he says firmly. “Friends, not food.”

I grin. “Good.” I look down at the sweet little pink pig in my lap. “What about Peach? She kind of looks peachy.”

He smiles. “Okay. Peach it is. Now what about this one?” He sits down next to me and picks up the little black and white sibling of Peach.

“Hmm . . . what about Cookie?”

He laughs at that. “Are you trying to tell me you’re hungry? We agreed they aren’t food.”

A light laugh falls from my mouth, and I lean back against the barn wall, totally content. “He reminds me of cookies and cream ice cream. The best fucking flavor of ice cream, by the way.”

He chuckles. “Fine. But I think we should name the goat Reba. The best fucking legend of country music...” He looks over at Dolly. “Okay, tied with Dolly, of course.”

“Of course. Don’t even insult the great Dolly.”

“I love you,” he says it so easily, like he doesn’t totally rock my entire world every time that falls from his lips. He leans over and kisses my cheek. “I’m starving. All this food talk.”

“You think they’ll be okay out here tonight?” I look at the sweet piglet, who’s curled up in my arms. “Maybe they should sleep inside with us.”

I don’t dwell on the fact that I’ve already invited myself to stay the night again, despite having to work tomorrow, but I don’t miss the bright smile on his face. “We’ll come check on them before bed. Come on.”

I reluctantly release Peach and stand up, bringing my lips to his as he wraps his arms around my neck. “You know I do too, right?” I swallow hard, wanting to say the words so much but not quite able to get them to come out.

Cane doesn’t push me though.

“I’m going to talk to Evie tomorrow.”

I sober, wanting to tell him yet again he doesn’t have to, but the thing is, I know he knows that. I know he actually wants to do this. For us. For him.

And God, do I want it too.