Ballad of Love (Utah Lovin’ Book 1)

13. Braydon

Iinstantly spot Madison’s long brown hair. It’s tied back in two neat French braids. I want to undo them and run my hands through her hair. No, I can’t think like that. That is a slippery slope that I can’t let myself fall down. She notices me, and her face instantly melts into a smile. It’s not just any smile though, it is the smile she used to give me. I make my way over to the table she is sitting at.

“I see some things don’t change.” I say motioning to her book. It’s a special edition of The Fault in Our Stars. When we were in high school, I used to come visit her at the bookstore and sit and read it to her.

“Oh, yeah, I actually just picked it up at the bookstore. I can’t believe that place is still around.”

“Yeah, I take Iris there once a week to pick out a book.”

A confused look flashes on her face at the mention of Iris.

“Iris is my daughter.”

“Right, I kind of forgot that you had a kid.”

“Yeah, she is actually the reason I am late.”

“Oh, I am sure she had a good reason.”

“Yeah, she couldn’t find a very specific toy that she totally forgot she even had till today.”

Madison laughs, and the sound is so familiar I feel my body relax.

“Peppermint latte?” I motion to her almost empty drink. She single handedly kept peppermint in stock year round.

“Always.” She offers me a drink, but I turn it down.

“What’s your daughter like?”

“Wow,” I chuckle to myself at the thought of my rambunctious, Taylor Swift loving three-year-old.

“Well, she is incredible, Mads. She is a little ray of sunshine who loves Taylor Swift.”

“She’s a little Swiftie?”

“She is, thanks to Aunt Addie.”

Madison smiles. I could really get used to this.

“Hey, Braydon, can I get you anything?” Sawyer, the owner of Saw”s, asks from somewhere behind me. I turn around to see him setting his motorcycle helmet on the counter.

“The usual, Sawyer.”

“You got it.”

“You know the owner?”

“Yeah, Madison. It’s a small town.”

“Guess I forgot what that’s like.”

An emotion similar to sadness flashes in her eyes, but it quickly passes and her easy smile is back in place.

“Here you go.” Sawyer sets a steaming mug of black coffee with a splash of milk in front of me.

“Thanks.” Sawyer retreats back into the kitchen.

“So, what’s the usual?” Madison motions to my steaming cup.

“Black coffee with a splash of milk.”

“You always were an old soul.”

“Hey, there is nothing wrong with that.”

I take a sip of my coffee, as a comfortable silence falls between us. I wait a few moments before I ask, “So, what did you want to catch up on? I know you didn’t invite me here just to talk about my daughter.”

Madison sighs across from me, taking another sip of her latte. I hate the way my eyes so naturally track her every movement.

“Well, I guess let”s start at the beginning.”

“After you left?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, what would you like to know?”

I cross my arms over my chest, and settle into my chair.

“So you aren’t married?”

“Correct.”

“Divorced?”

“Nope.” I say popping the “p”.

“So, where did Iris come into the picture?”

“Do you want the long version? Or the simplified version?”

“Simplified.”

“Well, about a year after you went to college, I met a girl. I had convinced myself I had moved on. We both knew deep down I had not. We dated for a while. Then she accidentally got pregnant. I did the responsible thing and proposed. A couple months after Iris was born, I woke up, and she was gone without a trace. It has just been Iris and I ever since.”

“Wow, that’s rough Braydon.”

“Yeah, it was at first, but eventually we got settled into a pretty good routine. My dad and Adalynn were a huge help. Even the guys at work helped out.”

“Still working at Ambrose Construction?”

“Umm, kind of. Bryce owns a ranch now, and I rent a little house on his property. I mostly work at the ranch now, but I go back in fourth if they need an extra guy.”

“That’s great, Bray.” I warm at the old nickname.

“What about you? I figured you would’ve been a big fancy lawyer in the city by now.”

“I was working at a big law firm after college, but I was only a receptionist. I wasn’t really going anywhere, and it wasn’t what I really wanted to do. So I figured if I moved back and worked for a smaller firm, I would actually be able to do what I wanted to do, what I have always dreamed of doing.”

“So have you been able to work on any cases yet?”

“Well, right now I am working on passing the BAR in this state. Then I can get to work on cases.”

“That’s incredible, Mads.”

“It is.”

“So, what about you? Kids? Husband? Boyfriend?”

“None of the above. It is just me and my cat.”

“Well, I mean, that’s not too bad.”

“Look Braydon, I am extremely sorry about how I left things in high school.”

I stare into my cup like it will magically give me all the answers or the secret to true happiness.

“Madison, it’s ok. That was six years ago. We both made mistakes, and we both said things we regret that day.” Madison chuckles nervously.

“Yeah, I guess you are right.”

I watch Madison as she sucks her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Do you regret it?” She asks, freeing her lip.

“Us breaking up?”

She nods.

“Yes and no.” I rub hands on my thighs in an effort to focus my thoughts and calm myself down.

“On one hand yeah, I obviously regret us breaking up. Yeah, I regret not getting to see the future we might have had together.”

“But?”

“But on the other hand, no, I don’t regret it. Because if we never broke up I never would’ve had Iris, and I wouldn’t trade her for the world. Do you regret it?” I ask, even though I am scared of what her answer might be.

“No. Obviously I am curious about the future we might have had together, but no I don’t regret it.”

My eyes falling back to my nearly empty mug. Deep down I knew that was going to be her answer, but I guess a small part of me hoped she regretted it.

“Braydon, can I ask you something?”

I look back up at Madison. I miss looking into those eyes all the time. I miss her, but I can’t let myself think about that. Iris needs me, and she is my whole heart.

“Sure,” I shrug and try to feign nonchalance.

“Do you think you would’ve been happy in New York with me?”

I swallow the rest of my coffee to contemplate her question.

“I honestly think I would’ve been happy wherever you were.”

Madison nods like she isn’t quite convinced. A heavy silence falls between us which makes me uncomfortable. I shift in my seat, and nervously rub my hands together. My phone rings in my pocket, and I pull it out to see who is calling. Bryce’s name is displayed across my screen.

“Sorry mads, it’s Bryce. He is watching Iris today so I really have to take this.”

“Yeah, no. You are good.”

I throw two twenty dollar bills on the table, more than plenty to pay for my coffee.

“Hey, Bray?”

I turn with the phone hovering just over my ear.

“We should really do this again sometime.”

“I would love that.”

I step out the door and answer Bryce’s call.