10. WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS
Chapter ten
WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS
Ornella
I woke abruptly in the morning to the realization that I was alone in my bedroll.
I sat up to the scent of roasting coinín, a bushy-tailed, tree-dwelling rodent with long ears that seemed unique to the Autumn Court. I’d once thought they were rather cute and disliked eating them. That was until one attacked me when we were camping in the forest while trying to get through the Fuath ward around the cave. Faela warned me not to get close to the little beasties, but most animals in the Summer Court were amicable to dryads.
Not these ones.
I narrowed my eyes at the little carcasses as they were slowly turned on a spit over the fire along with enormous mushroom caps and slices of root vegetables. I could still hear Faela laughing while I screeched and ripped my coat off to get at the creature that had gone down my shirt. Luckily, Sage was flying above us on Serafin, and Faela had been sworn to secrecy about the incident.
I hoped that bothersome female was still alive.
Ciaran remained focused on the food on the spit, but I knew he would be fully aware of me while I sat up and glanced around us. I did not see Sage or Serafin close by, but Pyrope lay with me, her eyes on the golden-haired rider across the fire, keeping watch over me.
Before I could demand to know where Sage had gone, he rounded one of the pine trees and approached our fire with Serafin trotting along behind him. He was carrying familiar bundles of clothing that he must have retrieved from our trunk.
“You’re awake,” he greeted me, and I could not help smiling in spite of my aggravation that he had left me vulnerable with Ciaran.
“You are back just in time. Our breakfast is ready,” announced Ciaran, removing the coinín from the fire.
“I went to see Shay,” Sage advised me as he settled on the ground next to me again, and I could hardly stay upset with him for that. “She gave birth to a boy this morning. Both she and the baby are in good health. They named him Ronan for my mother’s father,” he boasted happily.
“Congratulations, Sage!” said Ciaran with a genuine smile as he clapped his brother rider on the shoulder.
“And she’s okay? She does not need—”
“She is healing well,” Sage assured me before I could offer my help again, and I nodded as he passed me some warm clothes.
We began to eat while he told us all that he had learned about the newest member of his family. He shared the babe’s birth weight, the time of his first breath, and how his sister’s labour had gone. He told us that Verin cried of happiness when he held his boy the first time. There was no talk of magical aptitude or how the boy would further their family status. It was strangely refreshing to me.
“Shay also told me about what you did for her after you came through the portal,” Sage added, shocking me.
“I did nothing but talk sense into her. She was clearly in labour and still trying to help! Why are you and your family always so stubborn?” I demanded in an effort to deflect any impending compliments or gratitude.
“You sent for Raquela and then stayed with Shay until the midwife came. Ivie said you saved both of their lives. The baby was breech, Summer. If you hadn’t been there, it’s possible they both might have died,” Sage insisted.
I was as speechless as Ciaran who had hesitated while sharpening his blade, his hand drifting down to his knee.
“Well, I didn’t know that at the time,” I assured him, looking away from Sage who seemed confused by my flippant reaction.
“And Raquela said that you convinced the old forest to make room for us. Many aes sídhe would have been crushed when the Fuath arrived,” Sage persisted.
“Hmm,” I grunted, surprised that any of that would be discussed after the birth of a baby. “Does this mean you will stop underestimating me and let me help you fight?”
Ciaran had been taken off guard by Sage’s disclosures, but my snarky response made him instantly roll his eyes. Sage frowned at me in uncertainty.
“Stop deflecting. I am trying to say thank you.”
“There, you’ve said it,” I declared, forcing a smug smile to my face.
“You really can’t take a compliment,” muttered Ciaran with a shake of his head as he returned his attention to sharpening his blade.
“There is no need to thank me for doing what anyone else would have done in my place,” I dismissed.
“Someone in your place might have run the moment that I removed those bangles,” Sage pointed out evenly, drawing Ciaran’s attention again with this revelation.
“I almost forgot about that. Perhaps I’ll just go now so we can stop having this conversation,” I mused aloud.
“You’re not going anywhere,” Sage said immediately, surprising me with the force of his declaration. And I was not sure why, but the firmness in his voice seemed to ground me somehow. As if the choice to stay was easier when he had already made it for me.
“Oh? Because you’ll put those cuffs back on?” I asked, and I was shocked to realize that I hoped he would do it. Take my ability to choose Amira. Keep me with him.
“Because if you were going to leave, then you would have done it last night,” Sage retorted without hesitation, pushing the onus for my decision back onto me.
“You are starting to make me regret it,” I muttered as I turned my face away from him.
“I’m regretting it too!” Ciaran burst out, startling me. “It is exhausting just listening to the two of you!”
A heavy silence settled over our campfire while Ciaran returned to moodily sharpening his knife. Sage glanced at me occasionally but did not try to thank me again.
“Is your father back yet?” I asked after some time.
“No. Rian will bring him,” he said with a certainty that I was not so sure was warranted considering how our last interaction with the Autumn Prince had gone.
“Will he even know where to bring him once we move the villagers to the late season settlement?” I asked.
“I will let him know. I am not blocked,” Ciaran said without taking his eyes off his knife.
“Blocked?” I repeated in confusion, glancing at Sage. Ciaran merely tapped his temple without looking up, but I knew what he meant. “He blocked you?” I gaped at Sage.
“And I cannot blame him,” he replied.
“Um, yes you can! He would have killed––”
“His actions do not invalidate my own,” Sage insisted, and my eyes widened at him in disbelief.
“Someone loses control, nearly kills us, and you have to use force to stop them from doing it, and your response is to look for the reasons why you failed them ?”
“Luckily for you, Sage is prone to self-blaming,” muttered Ciaran, and I shot him a furious glower.
“I will make amends with Rian when he is ready to speak with me about it, but until then, I don’t really want to talk about it,” Sage admitted. And after he had been so respectful of my boundaries, I wanted to honour his too. Even if it went against my impulses.
We ate our breakfast, packed our meager supplies, and then split up to inform the other aes sídhe to get ready to go to their new temporary home. I huddled under a hood, shielding most of my face behind a scarf, and tried to be quick enough to avoid being drawn into conversations. Too many of them recognized me, however, undoubtedly thanks to the auburn vargr that insisted on following me, and they had to thank me. Some even wanted to take my hands or pat my shoulders which I could barely tolerate. After the first couple of fires, all I wanted to do was seek the solitude of the ancient forest around us. I wanted to climb a tree and watch them all from a safe distance as they got ready, but I forced myself to go to the next fire.
When I was finally done with my section, I found Sage at the edge of the clearing and wordlessly began to help him take down one of the yurts. It seemed like it had been used by the handful of elderly fey who were sitting in two wagons nearby and eating breakfast.
“Are you going to wear yourself out as badly as Ciaran did holding the portal last night?” I asked Sage quietly, loathing the thought of seeing him so weak again.
“There are no enemies to fight, no need for either of us to keep up our strength, so I will channel him. The portal will be much bigger and everything should move faster,” he assured me as he folded up the canvas that we’d been collapsing together. He tucked it into the open trunk next to him and then heaved the chest onto one of the wagons next to an old male who draped an arm over it.
“Good. I didn’t want to have to carry you through the portal this time,” I informed Sage, biting both of my lips between my teeth to prevent myself from grinning.
“Not even after I carried you here?” he asked with an amused glance at me before he turned to pick up the handles of one of the carts. The females in the back all gave exaggerated gasps when he lifted it and began to haul them away. I grabbed the other cart, pulling it into line behind him as we dragged the old aes sídhe toward the line that was forming in the clearing.
“I had just saved your life. I deserved it,” I quipped, earning myself a couple sly glances from the old people in the back of Sage’s cart.
“And you are never going to let me forget it, but you will not allow me to thank you properly,” Sage said back over his shoulder.
“If I were to allow you to thank me properly, then I couldn’t hold it over your head anymore.”
“Wise girl,” said one of the old females, and the others tittered along with her.
“Mhmm,” was Sage’s response as he shook his head, making me smile from behind him.
We brought the two carts to the back of the line where several warriors were helping all the injured and elderly. My eyes strayed to the wounded fey, but Sage snagged my hand. Serafin and Pyrope followed us to where Ciaran was chatting with a warrior in front of the line.
“Are we ready?” asked Sage once the other fey went to carry out whatever orders Ciaran had given him.
“I think so,” Ciaran answered with a glance behind him at the valley below. I followed his quick glance and couldn’t help wondering if the plumes of smoke rising in the distance were from their destroyed village.
“I will need to stay here to hold the portal. Will you help Ciaran and our warriors move people as quickly as possible through the portal?” Sage asked, and I nodded.
“Will the vargr be alright?” I asked him, glancing back at Serafin and Pyrope. When Sage insisted that I should go through the portal without him, it was because the vargr would be unpredictable among so many aes sídhe during a fight.
“There is no mortal danger to us, so they will be fine,” he said as he turned to look back at them as well.
Serafin had already curled up on the ground with his head on his paws as if he knew he and his rider would be here for a while. Pyrope was watching me and twisting her canine head back and forth, those large, fox-like ears fully erect as if she were trying to listen to something.
“She is trying to hear you,” Sage advised me when he saw me watching her in confusion.
“I’m not speaking,” I pointed out, and the vargr’s ears perked up eagerly at the sound of my voice.
“In here, Summer,” said Sage, tapping his finger on his temple with a gentle smile.
“You mean Serafin can hear your thoughts?” I gaped.
“Not fully, unless it is a clear projection of thought the way that we can talk to other riders, but we can feel one another’s emotions and instincts. Vargr are our equals,” Sage reminded me when my eyes darted to all three of the wolven creatures. “She will be your closest confidant.”
“But…” I began to protest before snapping my mouth closed when I realized that Ciaran was listening. I did not want him to know my insecurities about killing Aodhan and taking his vargr. Especially since this new revelation about how bonded the riders were with their mounts only solidified my certainty that Pyrope must actually hate me. It was such a cruel fate for her to be forced to bond and defend the person who killed her previous rider.
I looked at Serafin who was also watching me now as if he knew we were talking about him. I supposed he did because he was evidently privy to Sage’s mind. I had known from the start that the vargr were sentient in some regard, and there was a deep connection between them and their riders, but this was beyond what I’d imagined.
Sage’s attention was called for by a female scout who needed to give a report, and I turned to watch him while he was distracted. I stared up at his handsome profile and considered the way Serafin would often curl up with me and how Sage seemed mildly horrified the first time it happened. The vargr was so protective of me, and I had thought it was just because he liked me, but the truth was Serafin had been revealing Sage’s feelings all along.
Which was a downright terrifying realization when I turned to look at my vargr and caught Pyrope gazing at Sage with her bushy tail thudding against the ground.
Fuck . I could barely keep my own emotions and plans straight in regards to him, now I was going to have this creature mirroring me to the world!
She glanced at me suddenly as if sensing my distress, and her ears pressed back against her head. I sighed.
I noticed it was quiet, the scout having moved away, and I looked back at Sage to find him gazing down at the smoke in the valley with a troubled expression.
“Sage, I… I’m sorry,” I whispered, sidling closer to him without knowing how to comfort him. He touched my arm and gave me a squeeze as if he were the one trying to console me.
“The standing stones are outside the village. There is still a chance that the tablets remain intact,” he insisted.
“I hope you are right,” said Ciaran, his eyes also on the smoke rising from the valley before sweeping southward. “We do not have time for any of this.”
“No,” Sage agreed with him, his deep voice clipped, and then he stepped away from us to conjure his portal for the fey waiting before him.
I followed Ciaran’s gaze south after the other rider had also moved away while I pondered Ciaran’s words.
We do not have time for this.
We had moved north, up the mountain, and out of the Suridin Valley, so I could no longer see the blight that plagued the Autumn Court. A stretch of dead forest in the south near Dulgune from whence the Fuath had come.
We really did not have time for this. Not with pollution from the humans in Uile Breithà steadily seeping through the magical barriers between worlds. Eroding them and poisoning the fey as it had poisoned us long ago when we were first forced to flee from that world.
We did not have time to be drawn into this vicious war with the Fuath when the very integrity of the borders that kept the Autumn Court intact were disintegrating.