22. TWO SOULS IN PERFECT SYNC
Chapter twenty-two
TWO SOULS IN PERFECT SYNC
Orion
Y ou have Amira to thank. She is good for him. He listens to her. You need to sort out your jealousy!
I scowled at Helena’s firm but sympathetic words after she came to tell me that Riordan had returned from his impromptu tour of Ergastiri with the witch. She told me he’d sought her out immediately to apologize for rushing off that morning without communicating. Evidently he had explained that he had not been making an impulsive decision to run off to battle. He had a strategic plan in mind to reassert his presence and command in the Vale. Thereby reducing the need for his intervention in such matters in the future. Something which he’d not even seen fit to explain to me at any point. And he told her that he already rescheduled the meeting with the oligarchs.
Riordan had been so clear about his disappointment in me earlier that I’d asked Ares to be ready to attend to the king’s security when Riordan left the safety of Ergastiri. My skiá wanted space, so I would give it to him.
I returned to the Metropolis to wait for him in his chambers on the uppermost level of The Mountain City. That was probably the only part of the tower into which I was safe to fly, since Ares said he was almost skewered that morning by the mágoi guarding the other royal suites. Luckily, there were no guards in Riordan’s rooms since my skiá had placed powerful wards on those chambers. Wards which allowed only he and I through them.
I paced, trying to figure out what the fuck I was going to say to my king, but he had not yet returned to his room. He had sought Helena’s forgiveness, and she had come to converse with me from outside his window, but my skiá was still too angry with me to discuss our disagreement.
She has accepted him, Orion. You need to let it go.
“Fuck!” I snarled, resisting the urge to throw my fist through the godsdamned door as I recalled the news that Helena had brought. News that my skiá should have told me himself but had opted to allow her to share with me.
This is happening. You will only push him away if you keep fighting it!
I knew she was right, but fuck , it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I wanted to rage. I wanted to hit something. Too many times I almost reached for the tether between us to force him to deal with me but could not bring myself to abuse our bond that way.
I knew I needed to sort myself out before I truly lost my temper. So I went through the door into his private gymnasium where he kept his armour and weapons. All of his things had been moved from his apartment in Ergastiri to the Metropolis when the Summer dryad announced his imminent return. That included all of his personal training gear which he used when he needed to blow off steam privately rather than going to the Pit. I had often gone to his apartment to be alone in his space when missing him had hurt so bad that it made me unbearable for others.
I picked up the wooden practice sword that had been worn by his hand rather than the one that I had most often used to spar with him. My fingers clenched over the wood and leather for a moment, as if I could feel his hand there in mine, and then I whirled into action. Channelling all my rage and heartache into every strike and kick to the practice dummy. Tears burned in my eyes, but I would not let them fall as I released all my pent-up emotion.
I lost track of the time before I felt a familiar prickle of awareness that made my heart jolt. I turned my head to see Riordan leaning against the doorway watching me.
“Ready to speak to me?” I asked him once I had gotten myself under a little better control.
“It depends whether you are ready to remember your vows to treat me with respect,” he responded evenly.
“Riordan—” I began in protest.
“I do not know what troubles you, Orion, and I cannot force you to be honest with me. I would help you work through whatever is bothering you if I can, but you cannot punish me for what is wrong while still refusing to share. So if you insist on keeping your secret, you are entitled to do that, but you will not take out your anger on me or Amira anymore. Not until such time that you are ready to fully share the burden with us so we might support you. Are we clear on that?” Riordan demanded.
I wanted desperately to object, but I knew deep down that he was right to set these limits with me. So I nodded, and Riordan straightened away from the doorway to walk into the room. I watched him raptly, helplessly glued to his every graceful move.
He saw that I was using his practice sword and a small smile lifted at the corner of his mouth before he picked up the one I usually used. He did not give me a second more to prepare before he had moved into an offensive position and began to swing for me.
I parried him instinctively, eyes widening in surprise, but he was already moving again. A fluid and graceful explosion of movement that was deeply familiar.
“You are out of shape!” I taunted with a laugh after a few moments of going back and forth.
“I am very aware!” he huffed at me with clear distaste, still favouring his left side where I’d managed to hit him. The scent of his sweat and adrenaline tickled my senses as we sprang back and forth, whirling, and blocking, and evading one another in perfect harmony. It was as if we were dancing to the same tune or there were invisible leads between us keeping us in perfect sync.
This was what I’d been missing in my soul. This sense of oneness with him that was so terribly bittersweet in the wake of our quarrel.
He got winded much faster than usual, but I had also been practicing for hours, so we tired of the duel at the same time and tossed our swords back into the bin.
Riordan clasped my shoulder as I turned and slid his arm around the back of my neck with a familiarity I knew he did not feel with anyone else. As an Imítheos, he was generally impartial to touching others, but I had always been the exception until he’d met the witch.
I had always foolishly hoped that his comfort with me had signalled his attraction. So despite the improbability, I’d held onto a strangled hope that Riordan might broach the subject of intimacy before he found a female mate. Every time he touched me, every time he curled up and fell asleep with me after battle rather than returning to his own bed, that fragile hope had blossomed more.
But he’d never taken it further, and now my dreams of having him all to myself were trampled.
Most Imítheos seemed to feel a heightened connection to their skiá before they were mated, and after a female completed their trio, the males often became lovers too. But when Riordan admitted that he would have wanted to form such a trio with me, I had no idea what he actually expected out of such a dynamic. His people were often so prudish that they simply did not talk about these things. And he did not have adénes with which to sense the way the relationship dynamics shifted between other skiá after they were mated. So there was no way to know if he even knew that it could be like that between us, and if he did, then it would not be without her .
Even if I were willing to try sharing him, and even if she were prepared to reconsider me, taking her as a lover would be impossible for me. Not when it had been hundreds of years since I left my mother’s brothel behind, and I still could not stomach the mere thought of a female lover. I simply did not see a future in which I could have an intimate part in Riordan’s life anymore.
“I restructured our defenses,” Riordan informed me as we walked back into his main bedchamber.
“You already did it?” I gaped.
“I have been working on it all afternoon,” he admitted before his expression sobered a little. “Amira will join us for the meeting with the oligarchs tomorrow.”
“Why?” I blurted before I could temper the reaction.
“Because she is to be my mate, and I want her to be a part of my leadership,” he answered calmly.
“You said that you would give them the opportunity to question her for your mate. Are you sure that’s something you wish for her to be present for?” I asked, trying to be logical in my reasoning.
“She knows and is prepared to be there. It is only right that she is given the opportunity to defend herself.”
Meaning he was going to insist they all speak Gaelic for the witch to understand. I already knew how well that was going to go over with most of the council members, but I merely nodded in understanding.
“After the meeting, you can look over my proposal for the restructure if you want. It is something we will need to do slowly or risk too much chaos. But there will be no more holes in our defenses. No more fey lost,” he said.
“Did the scouting party locate the Fuath that attacked the Oighear Pixies?” I asked.
“Yes,” he answered, his wing fidgeting against mine in his aggravation before he slid his arm off my shoulders to stride over to his wardrobe. “There were too many for the scouts to dispatch. Their numbers have grown once more, but thankfully the infestation is not nearly as awful as it was before,” Riordan informed me.
He began to unbuckle his armour, so I jolted myself out of my melancholy and walked over to help him with some of the straps. I did not need to, the armour had been designed to be easily put on without any assistance, but it had become something of a tradition for us. One I could tell he appreciated as I made short work of his buckles.
“Helena said you have a strategy in mind for bringing the kingdom back under your control,” I said in order to try and distract myself. To try and do my best not to stare at the beautiful expanse of his muscled back, the breadth of his shoulders, or his corded arms.
I’d had many lovers over the centuries while furiously trying to bury this torch that burned for my king. All of them had been warriors at the peak of physical condition, but I wasn’t sure there was anything in this world I would not give just to touch Riordan freely.
But I still turned away respectfully to give him some privacy when he removed his pants. I retrieved his armour and focused on mounting it on its wooden rack while he shifted his form to clean his feathers, hair, and skin. I soon heard him donning fresh clothes.
“I am sorry that I was not forthright with you. It is not my intention for you or Helena to be excluded from my decisions in the future,” Riordan advised me.
I stopped what I was doing to look at him in surprise. Riordan was not ever cruel or malicious, but he could be imperious and irreverent. It was something I was used to, and it had never bothered me much since he listened when I needed to check him for it. But for him to come to me already humbled was something new.
“And did you come to that conclusion all by yourself or did Helena mandate it?” I teased him, wondering why our mitéra had not gloated about it when she visited.
“Amira was patient and gracious enough to suggest it,” admitted my king with a crooked smile.
We faced one another so he saw my face change before I could turn it away from him. I was sure to take a pause and draw in a deep breath to try and remain calm.
“I have been trying to tell you something similar since you returned home,” I reminded him quietly. I worked hard to try and ensure that my voice was not accusatory, but I could tell a little of the emotion had slipped out.
“I know you were, but you were also trying to tell me something I knew in my heart was not coming from a good place inside you. I was having trouble hearing you,” Riordan admitted in regret.
He waited, allowing me the opportunity to say more, but I opted not to and merely nodded.
And despite his reassurance that I was entitled to keep my secrets, I could feel his disappointment. It bothered him not to know what was wrong. He wanted to fix it.
I just didn’t have the heart to tell him there would be no fixing what was shattering so completely in me.