Bar Down (Grand Marquee Manticores #2)

Chapter 2

TWO

Eight Months Ago

Ash

I’ve lost count of the drinks I’ve had throughout the night, but I’m not passed out yet, which means I haven’t had enough. I brood miserably at the table and recount everything that happened yesterday.

After my conversation with Olivia and Robbie, I went back to my apartment and freaked out twenty different ways about how I should ask Eli to be my date to the party.

I was distracted during the game too, and I kept to myself, even when Eli tried to make conversation in the locker room. I faked a smile and pretended like nothing was up, like my feelings weren’t all over the place. Because what the fuck?

I thought about the day I met Eli at training camp two years ago. He was quiet and brooding and barely said a word to me when I introduced myself. That attitude seemed to be his default mode for the first few months, and at first we thought he was just really anti-social. Looking back on it, I know he was just nervous to make new friends, especially as he had just moved here from Finland and experienced quite the Midwest culture shock. But slowly, he started opening up to Robbie, and indirectly to me, because I was trailing them around all over the place.

During the past two years, Eli and I went from teammates, to friends, to—well, more . We spend basically every single moment together, whether it’s at practice, in the locker room, at the gym, at his apartment across the hall, on road trips, and even on our days off. Is it really that crazy to wrap my head around the fact that I started having feelings for him?

But here’s the thing. I don’t do feelings . I never have. I hookup, I have friends with benefits, but I don’t do this . I don’t become this mess of a person who doesn’t know how to ask for what he wants.

Lately it’s been really hard to be around him and pretend like I don’t want him. I catch myself watching him more. The way his muscles shift when he’s getting undressed in the locker room, the way his pale blue eyes sparkle when he makes a joke, the way his ass looks when he does squats at the gym.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Eli was quiet during our drive to our apartment building last night, so I didn’t bring up the party. He said goodnight and headed to his apartment and I went to mine. After having a few drinks for liquid courage, I went across the hall to his apartment, but the door was locked. It was only a quarter past eleven and Eli should have been up. Normally I would bring over a few beers and we’d sit together on the couch and chat.

I knocked hard a couple of times, but after not getting a reply, I headed back to my own apartment. After pacing around what felt like an eternity, I decided to text him. Worst decision ever.

I stare at my phone again and notice the messages haven’t even been seen. Gee, thanks . After waiting around for hours last night in my drunken state and realizing I wasn’t getting a reply, I went to sleep. All throughout today I’ve checked my messages, hoping he at least read them, but there’s nothing.

I feel like a fool.

What was I thinking?

Thought we could make it fun.

Eli is not some guy that I can just hook up with. I don’t even know if he’s into guys, although I have my suspicions.

Although, seeing that girl draped all over him at the kitchen island is now making me question things. I caught the last question she asked him before I walked away with a bottle of liquor.

Will you show me how flexible you are?

Will he?

Trip asks me something and I shake my head, coming out of my daze. I’m about to fake a smile and reply to whatever he said when I see Eli making his way towards us at our corner of the dining room table. He takes a seat at the head of the table, where Robbie was perched before.

“Hey guys, how’s it going?” he asks Trip and Mack with a genuine smile. I brood quietly next to him and watch him as I nurse my sixth or seventh drink of the night. Perfect Elias is looking a bit rumpled. The blue dress shirt he’s sporting tonight has some wrinkles in it, which I’m sure he’s annoyed about. I’ve rarely seen Eli in any sort of disarray. His apartment is always perfectly put together, his bathroom is squeaky clean and looks more like a fancy restaurant bathroom than a hockey player’s bathroom. My apartment on the other hand is in a chaotic state with clothes and bottles strewn all over the place. No wonder he never comes over to my place.

Eli introduces Trip and Mack to Alice who immediately starts chatting them up about their most recent vacation. He turns to look at me and his gaze is contemplative. Pale blue eyes are bouncing all over my face and he suddenly frowns. “Can I have a word with you?” he asks low enough so only I can hear.

I lean in closer to him and some of my pettiness shows as I whisper, “Where’s your puck bunny? She was dying to see how flexible you are.”

Eli’s jaw is set and I see a muscle twitching, which makes me smirk. “Don’t tell me you didn’t show her your stretches. Especially that one where you look like you’re humping the?—”

Eli stands and grabs me by the elbow so quickly that I nearly knock a glass off the table. I manage to catch it just in time and I shoot the whiskey before placing it down. The next thing I know, I am being dragged across the room. Is it spinning or is that just me?

“What, man? Where are we going?” I ask, annoyed that he’s taken me away from the party. The last thing I want is to be confronted about my idiotic texts.

Eli opens the door to the small laundry room and all but shoves me in there. I stumble a bit and he notices, so he steadies me with a hand on my shoulder.

Then he closes the door.

Eli

I’m so mad at Ash, I don’t even know where to start. I want to scold him for the comments he was making at the table. While he thought he was whispering, the truth is everyone could clearly hear what he was saying about Hannah, and Alice was right there, looking at me with wide eyes. So I panicked and dragged him here. Not my finest moment, but here we are nonetheless.

My annoyance flares as I think about the texts from last night. What the fuck was he going on about? I doubt I will get any straight answers from him right now though, he’s a drunken mess. I sigh and deflate a little when I see Ash looking at me. He looks so lost and scared. What is he afraid of?

“Are you okay?” I gently ask him.

“I’m fantastic. Don’t I show it?” he smiles, but it’s all wrong. It’s not his charming, beautiful smile. This one is all tense and lopsided.

“Tell me what those texts were about,” I hear myself say, even though I know he’s gonna deflect.

“I’d rather not. I’m drunk,” he says, looking past my shoulder at the door.

“Tell me. Please .”

Ash shakes his head and looks up at the ceiling, crossing his arms over his chest. Alright then.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you recently, but you know I’m always here for you, right? No matter what. You can tell me anything.”

He rubs his hands over his face and starts pacing around like a cornered animal. I get the feeling I’m somehow making it worse so I say, “I’m sorry, Ash. I’ll leave you be.”

I open the door a crack and can hear people starting to count down the thirty seconds until midnight.

“Why was your door locked?” Ash says before I can walk out. I turn around to face him and he’s slowly walking up to me. His fingers are clenching and unclenching at his sides and for a moment, I’m distracted, until I realize he’s asking about last night.

“I got a migraine, so I went straight to sleep. My phone was on do-not-disturb until I got here.” I see his lips part at my admission, and his eyes find mine. Did he think I was ignoring him on purpose?

“Oh. Was it a bad one?”

“I managed,” I say with a half shrug. The truth is, it was a bad one. I don’t get them often, but when I do, they knock me out on my ass.

Ash nods, his shoulders relaxing just an inch. “I came over to talk to you. I wanted you to be my date to the party,” he says.

Shit . I stop breathing for a moment because his honesty takes me by surprise.

“Why?” I hear myself ask as I grip the door handle tighter.

Ash laughs and shakes his head. He looks at the crack in the door for a moment and we both hear the countdown.

10, 9, 8…

His hand comes up near my head and he shoves the door closed, his body pressing into me.

“Because,” he says, keeping his right hand propped on the door as his left hand lifts up to grab the back of my head and all I see is red hair, freckles, dark blue eyes, and full lips. Everything is still and I hear the muffled noises through the door. “Because I like you,” he whispers and I can feel his warm breath on me.

3, 2, 1…

And then—his lips are on mine, and I freeze. I didn’t expect it. Never in my wildest dreams did I think there was a possibility of him liking me back. Even though my head is telling me this is a bad idea, that he’s drunk and I’m not what he needs, my heart and my body are telling me something very different. Because when Ash’s tongue touches my lips I open up and deepen the kiss.

He tastes like whiskey and cherries and I feel fucking intoxicated. I match the fervor of his kiss touch for touch. When he pulls, I pull harder. When he pushes, I flip him around and back him against the door. His hands move over me frantically like he can’t believe this is happening, like he doesn’t want to let go. I don’t want to either.

I don’t know how much time has passed, but out of nowhere, the door starts to open. Before it can hit Ash in the back, I slam my hand against it and yell out, “Just a moment.” My voice comes out high pitched and panicked.

“Eli, is that you?” Robbie asks from the hallway.

“Yeah, I needed a second to myself,” I say, flustered. Ash’s breath is hot against my cheek as we stand here and I silently beg Robbie to go away.

After a beat, he finally says, “Take your time. I just couldn’t remember leaving the light on in here.” I wait until I hear his footsteps retreating to look at Ash. As soon as I do, his lips are on mine again.

“Wait,” I say halfheartedly. Ash’s lips move to my neck and he starts to lick and suck at my sensitive skin. But I can’t do this. What am I thinking? He’s drunk, and I care too much about him to turn this into a one night stand.

“Just, wait,” I say and gently push him away. His face falls and I already hate myself for taking away the small joy I’ve seen there all night. “I don’t think we should do this. We work together, we’re friends.” I really don’t want to stop this, but I have to. “I care about you Ash, but I don’t think hooking up is a good idea.”

He bites the inside of his cheek and nods, turning around and leaving me alone in the laundry room. I stay behind longer than I need to, thinking of how devastated he looked.