8. Nico
Nico sat in the middle of the classroom, his feet kicked up on the bar at the bottom of the empty chair in front of him. Beside him, a guy in a jersey was eating beef jerky and mainlining a Red Bull. The smell was making Nico nauseous. His phone sat on his desk, half hidden by a rarely used notebook. He’d opened it and even held a pen so it appeared he was listening to the professor and taking notes. He wasn’t. Even with his meds on board, he couldn’t concentrate on anything except what had happened with Mal. Without the distraction of the Pearl River District and Casey’s mom, Mal—and last night— was the main focus of all Nico’s thoughts.
He’d let Mal spank him. No, that wasn’t even accurate. He’d antagonized Mal into spanking him. Without any sex as a buffer. He’d let his best friend, his roommate, put him over his knee and spank him like a child. Hard. So hard. Mal hadn’t held back even a little bit. It still hurt now. Even worse, Nico liked that it still hurt. Craved it, even. Found reasons to fidget in his hard seat just to feel the ache of it. That morning, goosebumps had erupted on his skin when he’d run his fingertips over the bruises. It was still hot, still felt raw when he touched it, like a sunburn.
Mal had done that to him. Marked him. Nico chewed on the end of his pen thinking of how hard Mal had been while spanking him. Nico had been hard, too, but he’d thought Mal might do something about it, take care of it for him when they fucked after his punishment. But things hadn’t escalated to sex after that. Instead, Mal had just cleaned him up and cuddled him, tucking him against him and holding him like he did every night, like spanking him was something that happened between them on a regular basis. It confused Nico. Not that Mal was so caring afterwards, but how he was so…casual about it. Like spanking his best friend was all in a day’s work.
It made Nico feel…unsettled. He was used to sweet Mal, caring and attentive Mal. The one who laid beside him each night. But last night’s Mal had been so…cold, calculating, distant. There was no anger. He hadn’t done it out of malice. He’d done it because Nico had craved it. Because Nico had desired to feel…something.
That’s how you learn.
That was what he’d said to him when Nico cried about how much it had hurt. Nico could feel the tips of his ears getting hot. At some point, his pain had become a rush. His thoughts had gone all syrupy and slow, like when he was high. That almost never happened to him. Nico woke up buzzing at a level seven on the best of days and pretty much spent his waking hours zooming around at a nine, even with his meds. But, for the first time in his life, he’d managed to let it all go. Nico’s brain had just…shut off. He’d fallen asleep so quickly. Peacefully. He’d slept so hard.
Then he’d woken up to the old Mal, the one who looked at him like he hung the sun and moon. The one who seemed to worship and cherish Nico. The one who cared for him, like he was something precious and worthy of that care. And Nico had just…let him. Except, they’d kissed. More than kissed. Nico had sucked his pills straight from Mal’s pretty pink tongue. He’d let him pour water from his lips straight into Nico’s mouth. Who did that?
That wasn’t friend behavior.
But Nico had been half awake, the leftover stickiness and calm still lingering from his punishment the night before. It had been far too easy to just let Mal have him in any way he wanted. If he’d have asked to fuck Nico, he wouldn’t have refused. He would have eagerly complied. Truthfully, if Mal hadn’t stopped him, Nico would have pushed the issue. He wouldn’t have stopped until Mal was buried inside him. Or he was buried in Mal.
You’d let me fuck you?
His cock thickened at that idea. Mal, pretty with his soft curls and pink lips, riding Nico until his thoughts were as soupy as they were last night. Nico swallowed audibly, scrabbling for the water in his bag and draining the thing like he’d just spent two days in the desert. Beef jerky kid gave him a dirty look, like he was disturbing him. Like it was Nico’s water that smelled like a decaying animal.
Nico dropped his empty bottle back in his bag, then flopped back into his chair. Nico wanted Mal. He wanted him any way he could get him. Top or bottom didn’t matter. He was verse. Clearly, they both were. Nico bit down hard on his inner cheek, hoping the pain might dull the throbbing in his crotch, but it only added to his dilemma. Maybe he really was a pain slut.
If Mal would just cooperate, Nico could know for sure. But Mal had been very clear about what he was willing to accept from Nico. No friends with benefits. No sex in the dark.
He was being unreasonable. Why couldn’t Mal just see it from his perspective? It was safer if there were no feelings involved. How could the man who’d spanked him without mercy be the same one who said that he wouldn’t fuck Nico unless he agreed to something more? Wasn’t he just punishing Nico for protecting himself?
That’s how you learn.
He kept turning it over in his head. Which one was the real Mal? The calm controlling one who had talked to him with such condescension while taking him apart, or the one who snuggled him every night and saved all the best nature documentaries on their Netflix queue? Were they both him? Were they each another facet of Mal? Personalities he slipped on like a disguise? Had what happened even meant anything to Mal?
And why did Nico want it to mean something to his friend? He’d just spent the last twenty minutes explaining to himself all the reasons they were a bad idea.
He bit back a frustrated whine. His anxiety had his insides churning. Or maybe it was all the food he’d eaten that morning, or his meds, or being stuck in class when he really just wanted to be with Mal. God, he was so pathetic. Nico was the worst kind of clingy, even though they were just friends, yet, Mal somehow thought Nico could be in a relationship with him and manage any kind of chill? Nico didn’t even know the meaning of the word chill.
Mal was always the opposite. Nico had never seen him truly angry. Not since they’d moved in with Nico and Levi, anyway. Mal was protective of his baby brother, but he didn’t really have a chance to step in. Levi was always right there, ready to have Shiloh’s back. But Mal just didn’t let things get to him. He floated through life. Literally. He danced like he didn’t have a care in the world. Even his hobbies and interests were so relaxed. Cooking, anime, graphic novels. Everything seemed to roll off Mal. At least when he wasn’t having one of his episodes. Those days where he said his brain was cracking and he couldn’t tolerate the barest hint of noise or light. But even then, he didn’t push Nico away. If anything, he used him like a plushie, burying his face in Nico’s chest and holding him tight enough to crack his ribs.
Nico’s ears grew hot. Why couldn’t last night have just been some random hook-up? Without sex, there had been no place for Nico to hide. There had to be other men out there who would fuck him and spank him? His mind instantly rejected the notion, bile rising in his throat at the thought. Even imagining another man touching him made his skin crawl. His brain wouldn’t even let him picture it, like it was too shameful.
Why couldn’t Nico picture it? Oh, God. Why did the idea of being with someone else make him want to puke?
You know why.
Fuck. This was such a disaster. It was like he’d been playing checkers this whole time while Mal was playing chess and, now, he had him in some kind of sexual checkmate. Except, it wasn’t about the sex. Because there wasn’t any sex happening between them. Why was Mal so okay with things as they were? Why had they just walked around the district this morning, eating and talking like nothing had changed? Like today was no different than any other day.
Because it isn’t .
Mal had owned Nico, body and soul, for months. Nothing had changed for Mal. Nothing had changed for Nico either other than Mal forcing him to confront reality. But Nico didn’t want to think about that. Losing some random hookup wouldn’t matter at all, whereas losing Mal would rip his heart out.
No matter how much he tried to pretend that he loved Mal in the same way he loved Felix and Levi, it just wasn’t true. Without Mal, Nico would die. And that wasn’t just scary, it was terrifying. It made the blood freeze in his veins. How had he let him become so important to him?
“Mr. Michaels!”
Nico jumped, heart racing, earning snickers from the rest of his class. “Oh, uh, me?”
Their professor—Mr. Call Me Mitch—gave him a flat stare. “That is your name, is it not?”
Mitch was the kind of teacher Nico hated. One of the young ones who thought of themselves as the cool professors. He insisted the students call him by his first name. My dad is Mr. Chandler. Haha. He wore jeans and t-shirts with ironic sayings, never went anywhere without his Starbucks Americano, had a perpetual five o’clock shadow and cool-guy dark framed glasses. The girls and the gays all cooed over him, but something about his smug demeanor got on Nico’s nerves.
“So they tell me,” Nico muttered.
Their interactions were usually short and borderline hostile. Nico tried to stay under the radar but, sometimes, there was no avoiding the man, even in a class of fifty plus students. Mitch didn’t like Nico either. He just wasn’t sure why. He was sure somewhere along the way, Nico had said something to offend him, but he couldn’t remember what. Truthfully, Nico zoned out in art history so much he could have missed a whole ass rap battle and wouldn’t know it.
Art history was stupid.
Maybe that was why Mitch hated him.
Mitch snorted. “Then, yes. You. You know, if it’s not too much trouble.”
“I have a few minutes,” Nico said, giving his most benevolent smile.
When Mitch and the others continued to stare at him, he realized that, at some point, Mitch had asked him a question.
Fuck.
What had he asked?
Nico cleared his throat, sitting up a little straighter. “What did you—uh, could you repeat the question?”
The others in the class giggled, but Mitch swept a hand towards the board. “What can you tell me about Degas and this painting?”
Underneath the painting were the words ‘The Star.’ The painting itself was a ballerina on stage in a tutu. He took it in for a few moments while he pondered whether he should be honest or funny. Both would probably have the same result.
“It tells me that art is subjective.”
Mitch glowered at him. “Is that really what you’re going with? And before you give me another bullshit answer, remember that participation is part of your grade. A significant part of your grade. And this is a required course.”
Nico sighed. “Fine. It tells me the man hated women.”
Another nervous titter moved through the small crowd, all eyes on the professor now.
Mitch leaned against his desk, folding his arms across his chest. “You’re certainly not the first to call Degas a misogynist.”
Nico snorted. “I’m not calling him a misogynist. I’m calling him a lunatic. Whoever he was, he hated women.”
Mitch snorted. When Nico didn’t say anything more, the professor made a tell-me-more gesture, looking exasperated. “We’re all riveted here, Mr. Michaels. Tell us how you came to that conclusion.”
Nico fought not to roll his eyes. “I don’t know anything about this guy or his life, but I do know a lot about criminals. And that guy had felonious intent.” He pointed to the screen. “Even his brush strokes are harsh, like slashes, like he could barely contain his anger when he looked at his models. Then there’s her awkward posture. They used live models back then, so she would have had to stand like that for hours. Which is hella fucked up.”
“Is that it?” Mitch asked.
Nico sat up a little straighter. “No. Look at the angle of her neck. It’s like she’s hanging from a noose. And the roses on her dress look like blood spatter. He liked hurting women. Probably fantasized about it.”
Mitch raised a brow. “So, you think Degas was a sadist?”
Nico shrugged. “I’m saying, if he had a freezer, there were probably body parts in it.”
The others laughed.
“That’s quite the insight, Mr. Michaels. Perhaps if you applied yourself more in class, you could make a career out of this,” Mitch said.
“I’d rather not, but thanks,” Nico said sincerely.
The teacher snorted again but, thankfully, moved on to torment another student, leaving Nico to continue his spiraling unencumbered.
What was the difference between a sadist and a psychopath? Mal said he got off on seeing Nico cry. Said he wanted to make him scream with pain. That sounded sadistic. But did that make him a psychopath? He didn’t look like any of the psychopaths Nico knew and he knew a shocking amount of them.
Nico shook his head, then picked up his phone, unlocking it and thumbing open his WhatsApp. He felt a tinge of guilt as he started a new group text. One without Mal.
Nico
What does it mean when someone spanks you without sex involved?
The moment he hit send, dozens of dots formed, showing they were typing.
Shiloh
I swear to God if this is about my brother, remove me from this chat immediately.
Nico ignored Shiloh’s indignant comment. He wouldn’t be doing that.
Lake
Don’t most normal people take these questions to Reddit?
Arsen
I don’t think many normal people are on Reddit but Nico is not normal.
Seven
Is Mal left out of the chat because he spanked you or because you don’t want him to know someone else spanked you?
Once more, that sick feeling overcame him. It was just the food. Definitely the food. Maybe eating all six pastries before class was a bad idea. That had to be it. He took a deep breath, then typed out his response.
Nico
Mal spanked me.
Arsen
When? Are you not in class right now?
Zane
They have classes for that?
Seven
Kinky
Nico huffed out a breath through his nose. Why was he asking these idiots for advice? They were all so unserious. Why wouldn’t they help him figure out what he was feeling? He couldn’t very well do that on his own. He was also an idiot. That was why they were all friends.
Nico
Not now, last night.
Levi
As someone who shares a wall with him, I can confirm. He’s so very loud. *vomit emoji*
Shiloh
Oh, God. I didn’t want to know that. I slept through it. Why did you tell me that?
Nico
We’re all adults here.
Cree
Adults have group texts with friends about being spanked?
Zane
Could be worse. Our family has group texts about getting spanked.
Shiloh
Mal gets left off this group thread but not me? I don’t want to know about my brother’s freaky sex habits.
Shiloh had a lot of nerve. Nico had been forced to listen to those two boning practically every night for months. He could suck it up.
Nico
Then you shouldn’t have stolen my best friend, moved in with us, and forced me to listen to *your* freaky sex habits. You two fuck like porn stars.
Levi
*smiling sunglasses emoji*
Silas
I’m with Shiloh. Can I be taken off the sex phone tree? As the newest member of the friend group, I don’t feel I’ve reached the level of friendship for random sex updates.
Silas was so full of shit. If he was friends enough to know that, sometimes, they all had to yank people off the streets and kill them, he was also friend enough to hear about Nico’s spanking. That was just how being his friend went. Besides, he was a total hypocrite, too.
Nico
Please, if you managed to get your little math nerd in bed you’d hire a sky-writer.
Silas
Irrelevant.
Lake
You created a new chat without Mal just to tell us all you got laid? Doesn’t he know?
Nico flushed, slinking lower in his chair, giving a suspicious look to Slim Jim kid before angling his phone away from him.
Nico
I didn’t say I got laid, I said he spanked me.
Seven
You let him spank you without getting dicked down afterwards? Lame.
Nico
I know! But, he did blow me the night before and didn’t even care if I reciprocated. And his mouth *drool emoji* *water droplet emoji* So good.
Shiloh
Oh, God. Ew. No. I’m out. Gross. Nasty. Bad Nico. Do NOT re-add me to this chat or I swear to God I will scrub our toilet with your toothbrush. Good thing I work at a salon since I now have to go bleach my eyes.
Nico
*eye roll emoji* Dramatic.
Zane
More information required. Was the spanking a thank you for the blow job?
Felix
Wow. I can’t believe Zane beat me to the chat. Did you ask him to spank you or let him spank you?
Felix was unhinged. Nico could hear the sarcasm dripping from his words without even hearing them.
Nico
Uh…neither? Both? Fuck. I don’t know. It’s all kind of a blur. I told him he wasn’t kinky enough for me. That I liked it rough and wanted someone who could just like take control. That I was looking for someone more sadistic than him.
Levi
I’m just going to repeat this back to you in the hope it might actually penetrate your thick skull this time. You told Mal—the guy who took a nail-covered baseball bat to his own brother as an elaborate ‘fun’ way to chuck him into a meat-grinder—that he wasn’t crazy and controlling enough for you? That he wasn’t sadistic enough for you? Are you insane?
Oh. Right.
Mal had done that. A shiver rolled through Nico. He’d been so hot that night. So…controlled. He’d killed his own brother without an ounce of remorse. Nico’s cock took interest once more. He had regretted not fucking Mal the day they’d met after witnessing it. Since then, he’d forgotten all about it. Okay, he hadn’t forgotten. More so, he’d chalked that day up to one of Mal’s many, many personalities.
Mal was…quirky.
Nico
Okay, when you put it that way, it makes me sound stupid.
They didn’t get it. Sure, they saw Mal every day, but he wasn’t the same person for them as he was for Nico. Hell, Mal was rarely the same person, even to Nico. He was always Mal—some parts were a constant—but, sometimes, he was just…different. There were many facets to every person, like a diamond. They all looked different depending on the angle, depending on the interaction, the circumstance, the person.
Nobody was ever just one thing.
But with Mal, it wasn’t the same. It was like he’d shattered that diamond, hiding a piece of his personality within each one. Maybe he’d just felt safer that way. Shiloh called Mal a kaleidoscope. Mal had called himself Mr. Potato Head. But, at the end of the day, to Nico, they were all just Mal.
Arsen
You are so stupid.
Cree
Sometimes, breathtakingly so.
Nico huffed, jaw tight. This wasn’t how this conversation was supposed to go. They were supposed to be helping him untangle the threads currently strangling his insides.
Nico
Stop bullying me. Where’s Ever? You’re all too mean.
Arsen
He’s in class. I’m sure he will read later. He will probably also say you are stupid. Just not to you.
Nico
Then can you guys just be nice and help me?
Seven
Help you what exactly?
Nico stifled an annoyed grunt. They were deliberately being difficult. They had to know what he wanted from them. He needed them to tell him how he was feeling. He wasn’t adult enough for this.
Nico
Help me figure out what to do about Mal?
Levi
What’s to figure out?
Nico’s chest tightened, his frustration overwhelming him. How could they not see what he was asking? How could they not get why he was so freaked out right now?
Nico
He refuses to do ‘friends with benefits.’ He also said that if I fucked someone else, he’d kill them. Kill them! And he said it like it was nothing.
Arsen
*shocked face emoji*
Felix
*spits water gif*
Zane
Been there.
Noah
Yeah, that tracks.
Levi
Hey, you’re the one who told him he wasn’t psychotic enough for you.
Nico ignored his roommate, narrowing his eyes as Noah’s name popped up.
Nico
Where have you been? Were you just lurking in here?
Noah
No. I was working. I have a whole ass corporation to run now.
Right. Noah was only a couple years older than him but he seemed to have his whole life so…figured out.
Nico
Well, now that you’re here, what do you think?
Noah
About what? Your boyfriend not wanting you to cheat on him? Uh, pretty standard relationship stuff.
Nico
Not boyfriends! Friends. Best friends. Best friends with benefits. Shouldn’t you be on my side? Championing my right to be a slut?
Noah
Are you calling me a slut? I’ve been married longer than any of you. And there’s no such thing as best friends with benefits. That’s called marriage, you idiot.
Silas
I’m getting a headache. I’m not gonna lie, I thought he’d already like wifed you up.
Levi
Oh, he has.
Cree
Definitely.
Seven
Totally.
Lake
Months ago.
Felix
He owns him.
Nico gasped, drawing the attention of both his teacher and his classmates. He ducked his head down, lowering his phone into his lap before responding to his friends’ slanderous allegations.
Nico
Mal doesn’t own me. I own him. Mal’s the one who caught feelings. Mal’s the one who worships the ground I walk on. Mal’s the one threatening to kill anyone I hook up with. Not me.
Nico chewed on his thumbnail. That did sound a lot like a relationship.
Arsen
And if Mal decided to fuck someone else?
Nico’s chest tightened, his breaths coming a little faster. He wouldn’t dare. Would he? No, of course not.
Nico
He wouldn’t.
Levi
But if he did.
Nico
He wouldn’t. Stop saying that.
Levi
I rest my case.
Nico flipped his phone onto his desk, face down, fuming. They were all gaslighting him into thinking he was in love with Mal. They were traitors. All of them. They’d turned against him, clearly. How could they think they were already a couple?
He snatched his phone up again.
Nico
What makes you think we’re boyfriends?
Cree
You just said he worships the ground you walk on.
Silas
And that he’s insanely possessive. Which is true.
Lake
Yeah, nobody is allowed to touch you except Ever and Shiloh. He won’t even let the rest of us lay a finger on you. He will literally slap our hands away.
Levi
He takes care of you. Literally does everything for you. I’d say it was controlling but honestly, you need it. You’re a disaster. This conversation just proves you need a keeper.
Nico
So you did know!!!! You knew he was running my whole life. Why didn’t anyone tell me????????
Felix
Tell you what, sweetie? That you’ve been letting this boy dom you since day one? We thought you knew. You said you were into that kind of thing.
They had things all wrong.
Nico
He’s not my…dom. He’s my best friend. We’re just friends.
Lake
*sure Jan gif*
Felix
Friends who sleep in the same bed.
Silas
Friends who are so attached at the hip, they’re practically conjoined twins.
Zane
Friends who are super jealous of anyone else taking up the other’s time.
Levi
Friends who share orgasms.
Nico
That *just* happened.
Cree
I can’t figure out if he’s trying to convince us or himself that they’re not already married.
Cree, too? That betrayal stung the worst. He was the level-headed down-to-earth one. The voice of reason.
Nico
I expect this from the others but not you. You’re the nice one. The quiet one.
Noah
We’re not being mean. We’re being realists.
Zane
You’re deliberately missing the point because you have trauma.
Nico
Do not.
Felix
Friends don’t spank friends.
Noah
Oh, slap that on an FNM t-shirt.
Levi
Yeah, spanking is strictly relationship territory.
Seven
You saying you’ve never spanked Zane, Felix?
Felix
I’m saying you people aren’t ready for a breakdown of my relationships.
Lake
You’re not as stealthy as you think you are.
Felix
*Nail paint emoji*
Seven
It’s a situationship at the very least.
Lake
Mal was never going to sit on the sidelines while you fuck other people.
Noah
When was the last time you even wanted to sleep with someone else?
Nico
I go out every weekend.
Noah
Wow. You could be Superman with that level of deflection. That wasn’t what I asked.
Levi
You spend the whole time dancing with Mal.
Lake
And drinking with Mal.
Seven
And flirting with Mal.
Silas
And grinding up on Mal like you want him to get you pregnant.
Cree
And 99% of the time you leave with Mal.
Nico
Not always. It’s not my fault guys don’t want to seal the deal with me.
Silas
Jesus, he really is stupid. It’s because you already have a boyfriend, dumbass. He sleeps in your bed every night. And apparently gives you blow jobs for funsies. You’re not only in a relationship, you’re in a disgustingly good one. You’re just too dumb to notice.
Nico
If Mal and I were in a relationship, why would he let me go on dates and hook-up with other guys?
Felix
Mal has been cockblocking you for months. If you try to take someone home, he just threatens them and they run away.
Nico’s insides quivered at the thought. He tried to muster up some kind of anger over the situation, but he just couldn’t. He liked that Mal was possessive. He liked that he was controlling. He liked everything about him.
Oh. Fuck.
Nico
I can’t believe you guys knew I was dating Mal and didn’t tell me.
Noah
*face palm emoji* Well, at least he’s not denying it anymore.
Levi
Okay, enough. Nico, we all love you but your mom fucked you up. You think you’re protecting yourself but you’re not. You’ve already fallen for Mal. It’s a done deal. You know it. We know it. More importantly, he knows it. Just give up. Feelings are already involved. It won’t hurt you any less if he leaves now versus later.
Noah
Yeah. Besides, Mal’s particular flavor of neurospicy mates for life. Like swans…or seahorses. Just stop being so ‘you’ about it before you do something you can’t take back.
Nico
So, that’s it. That’s your advice? Just like be happy and shit?
Seven
What more do you want? Wedding venues? Florists? Just get married already and stop being so annoying.
Nico
Not you, too, Seven. I expected it from the others but you know better than to believe relationships work. They ruin everything.
Seven
Stop being a drama queen. Mal loves you. He tolerates all your dumbass ideas. Hell, he thinks you actually have good ideas. He watches your stupid nature documentaries and anime. He feeds you. Even when you’re bouncing off the walls in crackhead mode, he gazes at you like you’re his sweet baby angel. You can’t chase him off. He won’t let you.
Nico
Wow. Whatever. You guys suck. I’m going back to class.
He closed his phone, contemplating turning it off. But before he could make a decision, another message came through.
Mal
Hey, Fidget. AC went out at the studio. Heading home. Negative: The bus driver is driving so slowly. Positive: There are three guys on the bus all dressed like different versions of Elvis. Look.
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Nico swallowed the lump in his throat as he stared at three men dressed like Elvis all shooting the peace sign at him.
Mal
Oh, and Bēkarī’s had one slice left of that jiggle cheesecake you like. The strawberry flavor. I snagged it for you.
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Nico bit down on his lip, tears threatening once again as he stared at the picture of the small pastry box sitting within a bag, swirls of pink whipped cream visible through the plastic window. Mal really did take the best care of him. Nico didn’t deserve him at all.
Mal continued texting without waiting for Nico’s answer, probably assuming he was actually focusing in class.
Mal
Figured it would tide you over until our diner trip tonight. I know you are going to stuff your face with waffles. Wanna do laundry until we have to go? Jericho’s letting us borrow the Bronco.
Nico blinked back tears, hands shaking, his palms damp. How had he never noticed? They really were married.
He sent a dancing heart-eyed hamster sticker. Then an excited hamster sticker.
Nico
Looks yummy. Thanks, Bunny. Laundry sounds good.
It did sound good. It sounded so mundane. But nothing was really mundane with Mal. His phone vibrated in his hand with another notification. It was another photo—a selfie of Mal, but this one had a bunny filter on it, making him look like a cartoon rabbit with enormous eyes and teeth. Nico choked on a wet laugh, wiping at his eyes just as the others in class stood and gathered their things. The kid beside him gave him a wary look like he thought he might have snapped.
Nico just sat there, staring at the photo, his heart beating so fast and so off-kilter he worried he might be having a heart attack. Was that what a heart attack felt like?
His friends were right. It was already too late. He was madly in love with his best friend. He was dating his best friend, living with him. Mal really had been playing the long game. And Nico had fallen for it. He’d been so busy trying to outrun a relationship only to trip and fall in love with his best friend.
And now, he was trapped. Forever. Because he couldn’t picture his life without Mal.
Now, all he had to do was tell Mal. And he would tell him…eventually. What if Mal changed his mind then? What if it was only the thrill of the chase? How many guys had chased his mother only to run when she finally said yes? But Mal wasn’t like that. He could never be like that.
Nico thunked his head down on his desk hard enough to make his brain vibrate in his skull.
“Mr. Michaels...”
Nico looked up at Mitch, who now sat at the desk beside the lectern, organizing his papers. “Yeah?”
He gave Nico a tight smile he absolutely didn’t mean. “Get out of my class.”
Nico jolted, then shot to his feet, gathering his things. “Oh, right. Sorry.”
“Mm,” was his only reply, his attention already back on his papers.
Fuck.