32. Chapter Thirty-One
32
William
I f Nicholas saw Charmaine and refused to speak, the truth had to be grim. What had Fearworn done to her? Was she still alive? Were they too late? William fell into a chair adjacent to the cots, wishing more than ever that Charmaine was here. She had optimism and hope. He tried so hard to be the same, but every word felt like a lie. A voice, sinister and merciless, uttered cruelties; Charmaine is dead. Neither of you will see your families again. Her body will rot here, and so will yours.
He wrung his hands together, raw from a long day of work. The nurses were no better. A young woman frowned over the water bowl, gently scrubbing her pained hands, but another soldier needed attending to. Many caught Shimmer Sickness, some overcoming it in a few days, while others laid motionless in bed. William monitored them, keeping Montgomery updated since some may have to be moved outside of the citadel, otherwise they would never wake.
William rose when a heavy wind kicked through the room. The nurses shrieked from the chill. A note fell at his feet. Cocking a brow, he retrieved the letter written in flourishing handwriting.
Meet me in the grove from the other night.Trouble
The note might have made him smile if he weren’t mildly irritated with the sender. Regardless, he stuffed the letter in his pocket.
After his day ended, William slipped on the ring and fled to the grove. Nicholas avoided him, which meant he had answers he didn’t want to share. He would get those answers, one way or the other. The night had a brittle chill his jacket couldn’t keep at bay. Without his military boots, his feet would have been wet even with shoes and two layers of socks. The light of the camp faded behind him. Pale moonlight flickered through the branches, scarcely illuminating the trees. An orange glow upon the skyline guided him into the grove.
Nicholas waited on what once were boulders now shaped into a bench by his fae magic. A fire roared in front of him, spitting sparks and crackling. His steps alerted the fae, who raised his attention from the flames reflecting in the expressive pink of his eyes.
“Why are we meeting here?” William asked.
“I thought we both should get away from camp as often as we can. This place proved rather nice the other evening.” Nicholas presented his hand. William shivered from the touch of warm fingers he came to know better than his own. They fit too perfectly together. He fell beside Nicholas, their bodies close and heated by more than the fire.
“If you believed this would distract me from asking you about Charmaine, then you were sorely mistaken.”
Nicholas sighed. “Do not ask me to upset you.”
“You have had no issue upsetting me up to this point.”
“Things have changed. I do not wish to upset you any longer, so do not ask it of me,” he admitted the words like a curse. William dared to think they were. They had played a dangerous game from the beginning and the match felt soon to set.
“It is too late for that. Your avoidance says enough.” He released Nicholas’ hand to pace by the fire. “She is alive, but alive means little in these lands. I’ve had countless men breathing and begging for death.”
“Let’s not linger on these thoughts tonight.”
“How am I meant to think of anything else?”
“Pay attention to me.”
“You are more cocky than I realized, if you think that is enough.” But he could not stop the smile from forming after Nicholas took his hand and urged the other to his shoulder. Nicholas caught his waist and swayed.
“What are you doing?” William asked.
“Dancing.” Nicholas grunted from trying to move them, but his feet stood firm. “This is the part where you move your feet.”
“There’s no music.”
“I could sing for us, though I fear I do not know songs of Terra, or any in your tongue.”
“But you can sing in your language?”
“Most fae can. We love our revels, the music, the lights, the dancing, and the booze, especially the booze.” Nicholas grabbed his hand and spun him. He stumbled, then laughed when Nicholas tried again and succeeded. “I will make a dancer out of you yet.”
“I can dance.” And he joined Nicholas, swaying to a rhythm they somehow knew. “My tutor found me more tolerable than my brothers.”
Nicholas’ hum sounded unconvinced.
“It has been many years,” he added. “I may have forgotten a few things.”
And he never danced with a man. His instructor, and any partners during the summer seasons, were women. Dancing was one of the few ways for him to survive parties and political gatherings. He struggled around the other boys, frightened they may notice his attention lingering on them. Speaking with women had always been easy and fun, but he feared they would notice too. As if a word or a move would spill his secrets. While they danced, he could lie that he was a horrid dancer and needed to focus. Most of the girls laughed and let them sway until their conversations lulled.
Here, caught in a peaceful dance under the stars on a winter night, he didn’t worry about what any one would think of him. Nicholas had him enraptured by the deliciously dark magic of his eyes. Their hands soothed one another, their bodies, too. Forehead to forehead, Nicholas’ scent of wildflowers and wet earth cradled him, held him closer and dear. His eyes fluttered close, daring to imagine the two of them dancing in his home’s garden or at a boring political function without care of what others would think.
Nicholas set a hand beneath his chin. “Look at me.”
His eyes opened. “You are ever so needy.”
“Yes, I have always craved the world’s attention, but now that I have yours, I want nothing more.”
“Careful, trouble. You sound as if you care for me.”
“Wouldn’t that be tragic?” Nicholas kissed him and he tasted like desire. “Let us be at ease tonight. There are so many marvelous things we can do together.”
“That we have done many times before.”
“And is each moment not better than the last?” Nicholas kissed him harder, fervent and intoxicating. When they broke apart, the fae breathed deep. “Believe this, William, I am capable of worry, and I worry about what is coming. Yes, the future battle against Fearworn excites me. I cannot cease that feeling, this part of me.” Nicholas placed his hand over his chest, where a racing pulse beat against his palm. “This power within me yearns to be set free, and Fearworn will be a battle of agonizing beauty, but I understand I may not win. That I may not end this war.”
He refused to imagine that. The image of Nicholas lying broken and cold had been one he desired seemingly so long ago. He did not know when that changed, or how to feel about a thought bringing on such pain. Tears threatened to spill from the mere thought.
“Would that not make you happy? You love battle,” he muttered.
“As do you, deep down, in the darkest recess of your mind, you know that, and I have seen it. Still, we understand this war must end, albeit for different reasons. I hope the next battle will be our last and I worry, too, but I wish not to worry with you. Let us,” Nicholas licked his lips, sounding so much younger. “Let it be only us tonight. Let us be lost in one another.”
He should have hated the thought, should have told Nicholas they got too close, that this had gone far past bedding partners, but the words wouldn’t form. They vanished the moment he dared to conjure any, replaced by a single word.
“Let’s.” He clung to Nicholas’ waist as if tonight would be their last, because it might be.
They kissed and danced, enthralled by the other. Nicholas hardly left his lips. The shade’s fingers played with the hair on the back of his neck, then Nicholas set a hand to his chest. A playful glint flashed in the fae’s eyes. Nicholas shoved him onto the seat, then fell to his knees.
Fuchsia flames fluttered to life around them, heating the air. He still shuddered from Nicholas pushing up his shirt to kiss his abdomen. He freed himself of his jacket and shirt. Nicholas kissed lower and lower, palm rubbing his cock through his pants, encouraging pleasure to build hotter at the base of his gut. He lifted his hips, allowing Nicholas to yank his trousers to his ankles. The fae teasingly kissed around his rosy arousal, nuzzling his nose in golden curls and running his tongue over William’s shaking thighs.
“Keep this up and I’ll use my hand tonight,” he warned, but didn’t sound the least bit convincing. Nothing lived up to Nicholas’ attention.
“That sounds rather nice.” Nicholas’ voice grew seductive. “Can I watch?”
He hated to admit that Nicholas could do whatever he wanted and William would be thankful for it. Gripping his cock, he pleasured himself, finding it far more arousing with Nicholas’ admiration. The fae’s breath caught. His hands ran along William’s thighs and cradled his balls. He pumped faster, cursing when Nicholas’ lips brushed his tip, but no more. His hips thrust forward, wanting the bliss he knew Nicholas could give. The aggravating fae retreated instead, leaving him panting.
“How stunning you are like this.” Nicholas kissed his chest hungrily. “Makes me want to eat you up.”
And Nicholas finally took William’s cock between his predatory lips. He was a blissful indulgence, every moan encouraging a ravenous desire. He released himself to bury his fingers in Nicholas’ hair, savoring the sweet sensations of being lost. He tugged and Nicholas’ pace quickened, bringing him to a familiar high that he would forever crave.
The night’s bite was nothing in the face of their wanting, the heat of Nicholas’ mouth, the fire roaring at his back, and the desire in his hands spreading William’s thighs. It was truly unfair what Nicholas was capable of, how he drove him wild. His hips undulated, wanting more, to go deeper, to never leave the bliss of Nicholas’ mouth. But then the fae dared to depart, leaving him desperate.
“I want you, my wicked,” Nicholas said, licking his lips.
“You have me.”
“I want you inside of me.” Nicholas smirked at his swift intake of breath.
“Truly?”
“Can I lie?” Nicholas stood to undress, revealing his body in all its glory. Beneath the moonlight, he was ethereal, better than any dream could dare to conjure. There was certainly far too much leering on his part, taking in every piece of Nicholas’ body, thinking of all he wanted to do. Cradling his neck, Nicholas fell into his lap and brought their naked bodies together to form a glorious harmony of ecstasy.
“Tonight, I want you to have your way with me. Give me everything,” Nicholas said.
Nicholas had no idea what he offered. Out here, William accepted that most wanted a replacement for who they missed from home. He faulted no one for that because he played pretend, too, acting like the man he laid with could be someone he loved, that they were far from a battlefield, content and safe at home. But there was never any pretending with Nicholas. Even at the beginning when they hated each other entirely, they didn’t pretend they were with anyone else. They were fine as they were, together, always a match in some way or the other.
“What if tonight isn’t enough?” He grabbed Nicholas’ backside, hips moving faster, continuously building upon their unrivaled fever. “What if it will take many more evenings to give you everything?”
Nicholas chuckled. “I could hope for nothing better.”
He caressed Nicholas’ goosebump covered skin, curious if the cold or his presence brought about such a reaction. He hoped for the latter, that Nicholas reacted as desperately as he did, that he wanted to freeze this moment in time so they’d never leave.
Nicholas held strong to William’s neck and rolled his hips in a maddening rhythm. He devoured Nicholas’ pulse, sucking against his pale nape. His hand slipped between Nicholas’ cheeks, circling his hole. The fae mewled and rubbed against his curious fingers. His heart palpitated from more than their physical intensity. It was Nicholas, the way his touch had William painfully yearning for more.
Nicholas’ sweet laughter tickled his ear when he flipped them, so the shade laid in the corner of the stone seat and William leaned between his legs. Grass sprouted beneath Nicholas’ fingers, then crawled over the stone to create a smooth surface. By then, William had fallen to his knees and taken hold of Nicholas’ brawny thighs.
“Are you going to stare all evening?” Nicholas asked with his nimble fingers wrapping around his arousal. “Or are you going to get to work before I change my mind?”
“I don’t think you would.”
“Do not test me, William Vandervult.”
“That’s unfair. You tease me all the time.” William spread those beautiful legs and pressed his tongue against Nicholas’ hole, savoring the sweet moan he released.
“This isn’t teasing.” Nicholas released an enchanting gasp, eyes glowing under the moonlight when William’s tongue breached him. “This is torment.”
Chuckling, he ceased the so-called torment and gave Nicholas what he desired. He found the motions Nicholas liked best, the ones that had his moans growing high, carrying the beautiful pitch of his voice. The ones that had him shaking and pushing William closer, encouraging him to lick until his jaw ached. He departed once to admire his work, the flush creeping along Nicholas’ body and his eyes alight with lust. His chest heaved for breath and begged for attention. William was more than happy to oblige, kissing across his partner’s breast, tasting his sweat and leaving his marks. He caught Nicholas’ nipple between his teeth, wetting it until his mouth descended upon his cock.
His world became the man panting his name like a silent prayer. He stayed like that, fingers replacing his tongue to thrust inside Nicholas, feeling his partner’s pulse humming against his fingertips. Twisting his wrist and curling his fingers, Nicholas’ legs shook until the orgasm took him, sending his body into a quivering fit.
Nicholas looked glorious, covered in sweat that he tasted along his lover’s thighs, over his chest to the mess made. He tasted salty, delicious, and William wanted more. He slipped his mouth over Nicholas’ cock, taking his time to let Nicholas’ pleasure heighten. William kissed the base of his cock, whispering against the hot flesh, “The sounds you make are driving me wild. I want inside you so bad.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
Nicholas cursed when William leaned over him to toss both legs over his shoulders. The fae mewled, pawing at William’s hips to take hold of his ass and push him forward. His cock thrust into Nicholas’ heat, taken by bliss that nearly made William’s resolve snapped. His teeth tore into the beautiful leg over his shoulder, soothing the skin with his tongue.
“Don’t be gentle with me. I want your everything tonight,” Nicholas demanded, eyes clouded by lust.
“And you will have it, whatever you want, trouble.” William kissed him and pulled away to slam back in. Sheer ecstasy overtook Nicholas’ expression as William’s hips drove into him. His cries crescendoed, releasing one beautiful note after another.
William thrust forward, relishing in every sound, every twitch, each of Nicholas’ desperate movements, how his hips bucked wildly. He clung to William’s waist, urging his hips closer, pushing him deeper as if they could fuse. Nicholas’ eyes pinched shut as William’s power held him down, hitting harder and harder against him. But William wanted to see the pink hue of his eyes overshadowed by lust.
“Don’t look away from me,” he said.
Nicholas’ pupils dilated so the fuchsia hue was like the light of dusk. “Who is needy now?”
He was needy. He clung to those powerful thighs; the skin blistering hot beneath his calloused fingers. He wanted more. There wasn’t enough, even as he kissed Nicholas’ legs, pushed his thighs to his chest and fucked him harder. He needed more. A string of words, dangerous and deadly, nearly fell from his lips. He retreated and Nicholas fell against the seat, heaving, eyes no more than ravenous fuchsia embers. He lugged Nicholas onto his feet, kissing him, addicted to the taste of him. Then William turned him and Nicholas fell forward, legs spread and hands caught on the back of the seat.
William returned to Nicholas’ embrace, holding hard to his hips, knocking every breath from the fae’s trembling form. His hand ran up Nicholas’ back, savoring the shiver of his muscles, the sweat along his back that he tasted with a kiss and another. He thought these feelings would settle from this position, that not allowing Nicholas’ enraptured expression to take him would let the emotions fade, but nothing worked. The sound of his partner’s breath taken between pleas, the heat of his body burning beneath William, the way he twitched and withered from their shared pleasure, it made his insides boil. Like nothing he ever felt and was frightened to keep feeling this strangely peculiar but wonderful thing.
Slowing his hips to a crawl, he caught Nicholas in a kiss. Nicholas gasped against his mouth, hair still caught in his hand. When they parted, he saw himself in Nicholas’ eyes, far too open then he should be, far too obvious. But he kept moving his hips as if the lust would overshadow the truth. William grasped Nicholas’ cock, enjoying the sweet noises he made. He pumped faster. The fae’s breath caught, body jerking uncontrollably, close. Then Nicholas’ eyes fluttered closed, and he moaned William’s name, his orgasm sending his body into a fit of shivers that William soon followed. Nothing else existed, only the two of them and their bliss beneath the stars.
Nicholas’ knees buckled when William stood them upright. His arms held tight to Nicholas’ waist while he kissed and bit at his partner’s neck. Even now, he couldn’t get enough. He desired to be lost in Nicholas’ touch once more.
“And you dared to call me rabid,” Nicholas laughed, but leaned into his voracious attention. William fell onto the seat, bringing Nicholas into his lap. The fae grunted and he massaged the hips his hands had bruised, though the color faded in a flash. It saddened him. He wanted his mark to remain on Nicholas for a long, long time.
They sat in silence, hearing nothing more than their labored breath slowing and the crackling fire. Nicholas laid against him. His gorgeous eyes opened, the brightest shade of enticing pink. He caught William’s hand, not needing to say more. They kissed, slow and serene.
“You will be fucking me much more often from here on out,” Nicholas muttered against his mouth.
“I’d be more than happy to, trouble.”
Even if they may not have much time left. Soon, the generals would have them march on Fearworn. Nicholas worried he would lose, but for once, for the first time in so long, William wanted to hope that they would win. But winning meant this would be over. They would end. He and Charmaine would return home. Nicholas would return to Faerie. He would forget about William, just a mortal fool who entertained him in the evenings.
Nicholas knocked his temple against William’s. “How can anything bother you after such a tremendous performance?”
“Thank you for the kind review.”
“I am nothing if not honest.” Nicholas detached himself to dress, unfortunately. William knew he should do the same, but he preferred admiring Nicholas for as long as possible.
One day, he wouldn’t be able to admire Nicholas at all.
“Will you forget me?” the question escaped his mouth before he thought of the consequences.
“Forget you?” Nicholas whispered.
There would be no point trying to evade, but he stalled. He retrieved his clothes, feeling Nicholas’ questioning gaze. “When this war ends and we return home, will you forget me?”
“Never.” Nicholas gripped his arm. Their eyes met and he dared to believe Nicholas looked hurt. “Do you ask because you hope to forget me?”
“No, I fear I will carry you with me always.”
He brushed his cooled fingers along William’s neck. He feared Nichollas would feel his erratic pulse, how even after they’ve calmed his heart refused to steady. Nicholas’ presence was enough to make him soar, to make him desire in a way unlike hunger or greed, but a taut and perverse urge to ravage.
Nicholas’ eyes went abruptly dark, and he stepped aside. He hadn’t the time to ask why before a fae emerged from the forest. The stranger had a blood-chilling look, eyes of pure white without pupils and ashen gray skin. Nicholas shielded him from the stranger’s firm gaze. The fae’s bitter attention swept over them, seemingly uncaring, but he knew better. The stranger could ruin him, let the soldiers know of his rendezvous with a fae, and a shade, no less. They may not have to worry about a last battle if he were to die by morning.
“No one should leave the encampment, especially at night,” the stranger spoke calmly.
“I can take care of myself,” Nicholas replied. “I’m assuming you came to find me because you need something.”
“Yes. Finish this affair swiftly. The generals require your presence. It is time.” With a nearly unperceivable bow of his head, the stranger left, devoured by shadows of the forest.
Though he understood what the stranger meant, he still asked, “Time?”
“To face Fearworn, I have to assume,” Nicholas replied.
This could be it. They knew where Fearworn was. They knew how to close a Shimmer for a short time. They had Nicholas, the power capable of truly standing up to Fearworn. The war could end. He could go home, and he would be taking Charmaine with him.
“We will search for her,” Nicholas said, as if he read William’s thoughts. “But do not expect everything to go as planned. We are suspecting there to be a cure and suspecting she can be saved.”
“I will save her.”
“William.” Nicholas caught his hands and held them fiercely. “I will help look for her, but you must promise me something in return. If she is lost, you must accept that and let me finish her. You will not get in the way. Swear it.”
He refused to imagine such terror.
Nicholas cupped his cheeks. “Swear it.”
He forced a nod and bit back a whimper when Nicholas kissed him, quick and sweet.
“The generals will give orders to march. It should take two days to arrive. They’ll keep me busy during this time, so we are unlikely to see each other. However, when we arrive, I will find you.” Clutching one of his hands, Nicholas walked toward the forest. “Come, you must try to get some rest.”
That would be impossible. His thoughts had become an unforgiving current of anxiety, even if they defeated Fearworn, going home meant facing his family. They’d have questions and he wouldn’t want to answer. If they played pretend, like he had never gone to war, he would know they were tiptoeing around him, that he caused them discomfort. No path would be easy and he didn’t know what to do.
“What of that fae?” he asked. “Will he not speak of what he saw?”
“I will ensure that he won’t.”
No one could ensure anything with fae, but he hadn’t the power to argue. Their night together without worry did not go to plan, regardless of how phenomenal it had been while it lasted. Neither spoke a word, captured by an eerie reticence. Close to the camp, he slipped on his ring and the two separated with only a look. Then he dragged his feet to the hall outside his room and removed the ring. Inside, he fell into his sleeping bag where he lay awake in the consuming gloom.
Two days. They would fight Fearworn in two days. Charmaine had to survive. Nicholas had to win. Luck had to be on their side. Pity that he didn’t believe in luck. Barely an hour later, horns blared. Confused soldiers lurched to their feet, unaware that this may be the final battle, one way or the other.