CHAPTER 16
Beth was glad the meeting would be virtual this time. The last one had been stressful enough in French and even though she’d requested English, she felt like maybe that would have its own stresses. Especially with Sahvrin going on about how terrible they were. But she wasn’t sure if that wasn’t just to plead his case against lifting the celibacy rule. She’d reserve judgment till she had more time to see.
Spook stayed at the Birdhouse with Maggie, planning to attend from there while her and Sahvrin sat at the dining table at Mah-Mah and Pah-Pah’s. Was times like this she appreciated the privacy and comfort technology afforded a person for such a meeting.
“Everybody decent?” Lazure asked after they logged into the chat.
“I’m decent,” Mah-Mah said. “The Belle Eveque’s decent. Not sure about all you riffraff.”
Beth felt Sahvrin’s eyes on her from across the table where he sat next to his father and Beth sat next to his mother. He winked at her, and the sweet gesture reminded her he was on her side no matter what happened. She already knew that, and it really pained her that he thought he needed to worry she’d do something stupid. What did he think she wanted? To be at his literal right hand during a literal battle? She knew she wasn’t equipped for that. She did want to be equipped though in case he wasn’t there to protect her, and he agreed with that.
“So, I’m gonna lead this parade,” Mah-Mah announced. “Unless you have another speaker in mind Eveque?”
He gestured toward her with an air of royalty. “The floor is all yours Mah Grande Eveque.”
Grande Eveque? Was that her official title. She discreetly pulled up her French to English app up on her phone in her lap and typed in the term. High Bishopess. She smiled, casting a glance at Sahvrin who eyed her with a quirked brow. She felt her phone buzz and looked down. I want you.
There was no resisting her happy smile, but she quickly covered it when Mah-Mah launched into the meeting.
“So we have propositions,” she said, going straight to the point, thankfully. “I want something and Eveque wants something. I won’t make assumptions as to who all wants what, beyond that.
I want to amend the celibacy rule and Eveque wants to amend the right-hand rule regarding a spouse. And since you’re all gentlemen, I’ll go first,” she said. “Staring with the celibacy rule. I think every one of you men need a wife. Before you panic, I’m not asking to require you to take one, but I do want the option on an open table free to visit should you so desire.
But just like The Twelve have requirements of a moral nature when joining, the same would be required of spouses. Being unequally yoked makes you worse of a person, not better. A wife is meant to complete a man, not tear what’s there down. Now, I don’t want to know if you wanna marry or not, but I do wanna know if you agree with that requirement should the vote go through.”
The way they all answered one after another seemed to imply there was an order to their numbers and she wondered what it was. And they’d all agreed. Nice.
Beth looked down at her phone, seeing Maggie texted. This is exciting! I’m in the meeting! Bishop said it was okay since I belong to Spook! Does he really think that?
Beth quickly typed. Yes, he really does. And I’m happy you’re here with me. It is very exciting!
“Good,” Mah-Mah said. “To further elaborate on my best intentions for all my sons, no offense, but none of you have a lick of knowledge regarding such things for obvious reasons, and I was thinking it wise to allow those qualified to form a sort of selection for The Twelve to choose from. Eligible maidens if you will. Women we would screen and duly investigate whether they’d qualify should one of The Twelve decide to marry.
“You’re not obligated to pick any of them, but they’re there as prime selection. Again, before we vote on the celibacy rule, would The Twelve agree that the women should be properly vetted by those qualified to do so?”
This time when they gave their Aye’s, Beth typed their names in her phone, establishing the order. Her phone buzzed and she read Sahvrin’s message. What sort of mischief are you up to under that table?
She held her grin back and typed. Just taking notes.
My angry cock is taking noteshe texted back, making her breath catch.
She cast a glance toward Mah-Mah, making sure she was being discreet enough. I promise I’m being good.
You’ll be punished regardlesshe texted.
“Is my son in this meeting or not?” Mah-Mah wondered.
The verbal hand slap made Beth bite her smile.
“I’m utterly present,” Sahvrin assured.
“Well, good. But if you miss anything, there’s no undoing what we’re doing,” she warned. “So, if we remove the celibacy rule and make the option to marry available, we will require somebody qualified to vet women to establish they meet the criteria to be a wife to one of The Twelve. Now, I know Belle Eveque isn’t from the Swamp. But,” she said. “We would only be vetting woman who are. This doesn’t mean somebody from outside the swamp can’t come in and sweep any of you off your feet the way Belle Eveque has, because they surely can. In those cases, we’d use the same measures for her as we do for the eligible maidens in our swamp lands. And remember, if she doesn’t qualify, you’re always free to step down from The Twelve and pursue a life as a husband only. Is everybody in agreement with that?”
They were still all at “ayes”. Impressive. She also confirmed the order of The Twelve Beth had down in her notes and she was again curious how it had been established. By date admitted? Age? Something else? She was also curious with how quiet they all were. Respectful? Holding their tongue? Scared of Mah-Mah? She texted Sahvrin. The Twelve are so quiet.
She watched him out of the corner of her eye look down at his phone, then text. Because they’re all scared shitless of this topic.
Wow. She wouldn’t have guessed that.
“Now,” Mah-Mah, said with a finality. “Do any of you have anything to add to this process if we amend the celibacy code? If not, I move to vote we amend it with the specifications I just went over.”
There was a lot of mumbling but nothing of any discernable substance.
“So…say we vote to amend the code to what you have laid out,” Sahvrin said, making her wonder if he spoke for those in The Twelve who didn’t want to open their mouth. “What would the process be?”
“Well, I’d say we come up with an actual process and then take a vote on it,” she decided. “I don’t aim to do anything The Twelve aren’t comfortable with. And if there’s anything that arises that isn’t covered in the amendment, then we meet and vote on it. Just like we’ve always done.”
Sahvrin nodded. “And you’ll have a list of rules for The Twelve to abide by as well?”
“What do you mean,” Mah-Mah wondered.
“Once they have the green light to date eligible women, what will be the requirements for them? Do they get to taste test all the women before deciding? How far do they get to put their foot in the shoe they’re trying on?”
“Oh!” Mah-Mah said, aiming a finger at him. “Very good question. One I’ll need to think about and bring up for voting. Everybody fine with that?”
“I’m fine with this,” he said. Eleven more “ayes” followed.
Mah-Mah smacked the table with a hand. “Done. The vote to amend the celibacy code to all I’ve laid out is passed and only needs Lazure’s hand of approval.
Before Beth could wonder what his hand of approval was, he too smacked his palm on the table, making Beth realize that was apparently their gavel.
“Done and done,” Mah-Mah said. “Let’s take a short intermission before we get to the right-hand vote, shall we? Ready for a biscuit and coffee.”
Beth’s phone buzzed and she looked down. Meet me in the downstairs bathroom.
Oh God.
“Beth, I need to speak to you in the kitchen,” Mah-Mah said.
She eyed Sahvrin who gave an eye-roll, making her laugh. “On my way,” she said, gasping in silent shock at the accusing look he gave her, like somehow it was her fault and she’d pay.
She didn’t mind paying, that’s for sure.
The second she entered the kitchen, Mah-Mah gave a toss of her head to follow her to the pantry.
“Soooo what will we cook tonight,” Mah-Mah muttered eyeing the shelves then shutting the door quickly when Beth entered. “Now, next is the right-hand vote,” she whispered. “Technically you don’t get a say but that doesn’t mean you can’t speak.”
“Speak?” Dear God.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be in control again. You follow my lead.”
“What is your plan?”
“The plan is to amend the rule so that you have full decision-making as you should and for him to trust you to make the right ones!” she hissed with angry brows. “I’m right offended that he takes you for the kind of woman who would jeopardize herself with some ignorant gun-slinging mess.”
She nodded, agreeing. “He doesn’t know me so well, to be fair,” she whispered with a wince.
Mah-Mah grabbed her hands, giving her a look that said she didn”t buy that for a second. “That man might be dumb sometimes, but he isn”t blind. Your priority is to protect your family. So... say you have a boatload of intruders entering your yard and Sahvrin meets them outside to fight them. What you gonna do? Run out there and stand by his right hand and fight with him?”
She considered the question seriously and shook her head. “No.”
“What would you do?”
“Hopefully by then I’ll know how to use a gun and…Sahvrin and I would probably have an emergency plan in place for various scenarios. Outside of that, I honestly don’t know what I’d do but Sahvrin would.”
“And you trust him to equip you with the right response!” she said, pointing at her like she’d proved her point.
“Absolutely.”
“And he’d trust you to carry that out.”
She considered it and nodded with a whispered, “I hope so.”
Mah-Mah went still and eyed her severely. “Now…” she said, seeming to change gears. “What if you had to choose between putting yourself, him or your child in danger?”
She let herself think about it. “Him,” she whispered, hoping that was right.
Mah-Mah spanked her own hand. “Right! Because you know he’s more equipped for that than you are.”
“Unless I see I am. If it meant buying him time, I mean. I know how to be a good distraction.”
Mah-Mah laughed boisterously. “You could come out plum naked and that would throw em all off their gators.”
Beth covered her laugh with a hand. “Or come out doing ballet with a hidden pistol in my bra!”
A knock sounded on the door. “Has the meeting moved to the pantry?” Sahvrin asked, making them stifle their laughter.
“I was planning supper with your wife,” Mah-Mah called, winking at her.
“Of course you were. Let’s hope it’s not a last supper.”
****
“Now then,” Mah-Mah announced while Sahvrin eyed his secretive wife with the secretive smile across the table. What had they chatted about? “On to the right-hand vote. Eveque, you wish to amend it. Tell us what you have in mind.”
All his rehearsed ideas scrambled to the front of his mind, various versions overlapping each other. Fuck, which one had he settled on? “As most know, I love the right-hand rule. But I’ll be blunt about what bothers me now. A woman should not be allowed in physical harm’s way if she doesn’t have to be.”
“And if she does have to be?” Mah-Mah asked.
Sahvrin eyed her. “Then any decisions that would go with that should belong to the husband, her protector, by God.” He prayed the God Gun would help his case with his Mah-Mah. If anybody would be swayed by it, she was it.
“And what if there is no husband around to decide that?”
“Then…the husband would put in place steps she would follow. Who to call and when, if ever problems arise.”
He watched Mah-Mah’s wheels turning, wondering what exactly she had against this.
“And if the wife doesn’t agree with the plan the husband comes up with?”
Sahvrin fought the urge to shake his head in frustration. “Then she will do what she will and violate God’s ordained order and sow that sin into the generations that follow her.”
The look of surprise on his Mah-Mah’s face was one for the records. “Well, I never,” she muttered.
“You never what?”
“Heard you speak this way before. I thought you were having a testosterone hemorrhage or something with this right-hand rule changing. Where’d you learn all that?” she asked, sounding entirely genuine.
“Uh…Revelator, actually.”
“When?”
Mon Dieu, she was determined to rake his pride over the coals. “This morning.”
She gave a slow nod, as though realizing. “I see,” she said, like there was more to see than what he’d just said.
“What do you see?”
“What Revelator meant.”
“About?” he asked, striving to be patient.
“About the message he gave you.”
“The private one?” he asked, reminding her there was still such a thing.
The way she caught herself and glanced around said she’d forgotten. “That’s right,” she muttered, suddenly appearing bothered and out of sorts. “I move to…agree to whatever you decide on that, then. She looked at Lazure then at Beth with a nod like she wanted to assure her.
Something told him all her plans had just come apart. He wasn’t sure what they’d been, but he was grateful they had. “So, I move to vote that the husband must always decide what sort of conflict his wife is to be involved in.”
He caught Beth’s hand raising slowly and looked at her. “Mah Belle Eveque wishes to speak,” he said. Mon Dieu, please don’t let her fight me.
“To further…expound on Eveque’s point. Revelator taught me something too that I think applies. I realize I don’t have a vote, so, just something to consider. It’s about… love and passion. He said that when we obey God without love and passion, our service is empty and in vain. And as you were talking a-about the…right hand code, it occurred to me that if this order of protection is set up by God, then how a wife and husband treat one another in that dynamic also affects things.”
This woman. “Teach us, Mah Belle Eveque.”
“Well…I’m not really a teacher,” she muttered, making his dick harder. “But I’ve learned things…maybe the hard way. But, regardless of the way we learn, that we learn is what’s important,” she said, as if giving herself a pep talk that brought his Pah-Pah and Mah-Mah’s nods of approval. “I’m sorry, I hadn’t planned on trying to put this into a full-blown concept.”
“Take your time, Mah Belle Eveque,” he said, getting similar mumbles from the Twelve, telling him they were eagerly listening.
“Well…if a wife obeys her husband—the authority put in place by God—without love and passion, that would also void the spiritual power behind her obedience. And…if the husband were to exercise his God ordained authority without love and passion for his wife, the same void would happen.”
Mon Dieu, he loved this woman. “What do you propose, Mah Belle Eveque? For us to consider,” he added, wanting everybody to know he remembered the rules.
“Well…since we’re amending the celibacy code, it opens The Twelve to a job and position they have never had. Was…just thinking it would benefit the entire community if both the man and woman uh, receive a type of training in such things. To learn that being a cover to a woman means being more than one in authority who nurtures and protects physically, but also who nurtures and protects her mind and heart. And of course the same goes…for the woman. A man needs more than hot cooked meals and a clean house. Clean clothes and children. He’s her soul mate. He has all the same needs she has and she…should be taught that. As well as how to meet these needs.”
She ended the amazing speech with a throat clearing while the Twelve broke out with heated chatter and Sahvrin stared at his wife. “And you are qualified to teach these things, yes?” he asked, putting her excellence on the table for a vote should she want it.
“Oh, I…” she shook her head, eyeing him with panic. “I wasn’t thinking…”
“That’s right! You’re a sex doctor!” Mah-Mah blurted, getting Beth’s huge, shocked eyes right on him.
“Oh shit,” he muttered, as The Twelve erupted with all manner of racket, the word sex surfacing repeatedly.
“A sex doctor?” his father echoed, adding horror to her shame that made it hard not to smile about. “What the hell is that?” he asked, sounding curious while his Mah-Mah gave her distorted definition of it which made her eyes get bigger on him.
“Fix this!” she barely mouthed at him
“Uh, hello!” he yelled above the racket.
“Maybe I can learn some new moves, hmm?” was the last thing everybody got to hear from his Mah-Mah which brought a light to his father’s eyes he never wanted to see.
“Uh, excuse me,” Spook called loudly into his phone. Everybody got quiet. “Maggie would like to add to her sister’s keen observation that…there are also chemical balances…and imbalances that happen in a woman, and probably man,” he added, “if the love part is absent.”
Beth covered her mouth when Maggie’s whisper could be heard, “And also that not having love when tending those chemicals only creates frustration and anger. And a lot of wasted batteries.”
“Spook, lower your mic,” Sahvrin hurried, fighting laughter while Beth covered her face with both hands.
“Uh, 10-4.”
Sahvrin hurried the convo along, ready to be done. “Since it’s part of the code that the details of a spouse be open before a vote,” he said, raising his brows at her. “All should know that Mah Belle Eveque has several years in the degree of sexual therapy. As well as geospatial engineering,” he added, hoping to cover over the first.
“Now, before we go a step farther, I just want to say this,” Mah-Mah announced, making Sahvrin cringe. She gestured a hand to Beth. “This woman is a godsend in so many ways. Not only has she saved my son from the depths of despair and hell no doubt, she’s bringing fire to the dry bones in these swamps! I don’t know about you all, but I think this calls for a celebration!”
Mon Dieu, watch if she didn’t make an official party out of it.
“In fact, I think this requires a commemoration of sorts. 8-Bit, I know you’re taking notes,” she said, adding another shade of red to his wife’s cheeks. “We’ll need to vote on it of course, a name and stuff, but this is truly worthy of such a thing, don’t you all agree?”
The Twelve immediately agreed and jumped in to assist with names. “Maybe the Sex Angel Commemoration?” Bullets deep voice offered.
“Or Swamp Sexathon?” Shank helped.
Mah-Mah’s cackles flew and Sahvrin caught his wife’s snickers while the Twelve went on. “Swamp Sexathon?” she mouthed to him.
He put his phone down and went to her, sitting in the chair on her right. He leaned in and whispered, “You have any idea how badly I need to fuck you, Angel?”
At seeing her turn breathless, he kissed her cheek.
“Awwww, look at that,” Mah-Mah said.
“Oh my God,” Beth gasped, hiding her face when she aimed the phone at them.
“Mah-Mah!” Sahvrin scolded.
“I’m not sorry,” she whined, putting the phone down. “I love that girl so much,” she told Pah-Pah, kissing him like they were alone in the room.
Sahvrin stood. “I move to close the meeting. All outstanding votes will be finalized tomorrow.”
“Nope. Tomorrow’s the Bat-tie,” Mah-Mah reminded with a firm headshake that said nothing was stopping it. “And I have a ton of things to prepare,” she gasped, as if remembering.
“So…the morning after,” Sahvrin said, knowing what he was doing next. He trusted Juliette to teach her moves, but he needed to see what she actually learned.
“I need to talk to Savvie,” Beth said in his ear after standing.
“Why?”
She gave a pained look. “I need to know what she’s thinking about it?”
He nodded, feeling like the worst father for not considering that first. He leaned and kissed her. “After I make sure Juliette has properly prepared you?”
She pulled back, eying him. “How?”
“By playing the bad guy.”
She gave a smile, telling him she still didn’t realize how serious it was to fight with that cruel, vindictive bitch. “I’m ready when you are.”
****
Sahvrin walked with Beth to the field by the Swamp Dragon dock. “So, who’s the lucky lady Revelator is getting?” he’d been dying to ask.
“Ohhhh, her name is Ariel,” she bragged, like she’d given it to her. “She’s a widow of five years. Childless. Very charitable, and she attends every festivity, and did you know she gives Christmas presents to the less fortunate children in the swamp?”
Sahvrin stopped and pulled his wife into his arms, hugging her tight. “Such a good Belle Eveque you will make.” He pulled back and pet her face, then kissed her forehead. “How old is this Arial?”
“She’s thirty-seven. Which is prime for a woman.”
“Prime?” he wondered, eyeing her.
“Sexually, yes. Usually.”
“Mmm. I can’t imagine you more prime than you are now?”
She grinned. “We’re not talking about me.”
“We’re always talking about you when sex is involved.”
“And she’s beautiful,” she went on, ignoring him.
“How so?” he wondered, curious.
“She’s got long black hair, doesn’t believe in cutting it. She’s very…spiritual,” she said, as though knowing the term mattered to Revelator. “Not flashy about it either. But…” He eyed her at hearing the coming negative. “She’s got zero self-esteem. Didn’t have the nicest husband before.”
“Huh. And the Revelator is presuming she needs…”
“Oh,” she said, her angelic mischief returning. “Help fixing that hand water pump thingy. That’s because Ariel is proud and doesn’t like admitting to needing anything else. This was Mah-Mah’s idea and a very good one,” she said, with questioning brows.
“Yes, very sneaky, that’s Mah-Mah. And as much as I love getting physical with you, I’m not looking forward to testing you.”
She smiled, putting her arms around his neck. “Awww, you don’t want to hurt me?”
“Beth,” he said, his serious tone sobering her.
“What?”
“If I could stop this fight, I would. I don’t like it. Katrina is the kind of woman to hurt you and happily spend time at the Weigh Station for it.”
She squinted up at him. “People spend time there?”
“You’re not listening.”
“Sorry. I am. But I think I’ll be okay.”
He looked around, shaking his head. “Not sure why you’d think that.”
“Well…I think Katrina isn’t as bad as many assume,” she mumbled at his eye roll. “I mean it. I can see it.”
He angled his head at the see it term. “What do you see in this woman?” he half mocked, hoping she wasn’t speaking metaphorically.
“I see a very dedicated and protective mother. I see a bitter, angry person that realizes she’s messed up and hates that there’s no way to fix it.” She smiled as he kissed her lips while she tried to finish. “You’re trying to change the subject.”
“You are the subject. Always.”
“Seriously, this is what I see and sure, she’s got things to prove and her pride and reputation as a bad-ass to protect. But still…I feel good about it.”
“What about Savvie?” he wondered.
Her face fell with a sick look. “That’s the one thing,” she muttered. “And I just want you to know,” she said, eyeing him. “If she’s not okay with this, I’m calling it all off. I’ll just take whatever punishment that comes with.”
He drew back, not sure why he was shocked to hear that. Of course she would. He gave her a real kiss, loving that there was nothing in the world that he couldn’t burn up with his passion. He remembered her little speech and took hold of her jaw, forcing it wider to accommodate his hunger. “We fight then we fuck,” he whispered, forehead against hers as he caught his breath.
“Okay. After Savvie.”
He smiled that she put his daughter before their sex. “After Savvie.”