CHAPTER 9
Ruckus moved his eyeballs even as his lids remained stuck shut. He stumbled his way through memories, finding one with answers. “Samuel.”
“He’s just fine,” a soft voice assured, sounding close. “You had a moment. We all did,” she barely mumbled.
“Gracie,” he whispered, forcing his eyes open.
“Shhhh, I said,” she softly scolded, sliding her fingers along his forehead. He focused on the feel of it, amazed with the amount of pleasure something so insignificant could bring.
“I’m sorry,” he barely got out, swallowing on the shards of pain in his dry throat.
“Nothing to be sorry for. I was the dummy. Having a drunkin’ tantrum like a spoiled teenager. Causing all sorts of problems.”
He groaned through the agony of lifting his arm and moving his fingers along her sun-kissed curls, pressing into the pillowy silk. He focused on the very end of the nights events coming up with nothing. Pain bled into his chest as he recalled his son begging for them not to hurt him. They had embraced.
“Hey, hey,” she called softly, taking hold of his shaking hand in hers.
“Samuel…” he forced out of his chest.
“Cherie is taking good care of him. He got his daddy back last night. I never seen anything like that,” she whispered, using her other hand to wipe her tears.
“What happened?”
She blinked at him, tears falling still. “You both got hold of one another in a bear hug and that was all she wrote,” she said with a light laugh between crying. “Then you both dropped to the floor like you’d been zapped by a lightening bolt.”
Ruckus struggled to breathe and sit up. “We were.” He managed to get upright and stared at her. “Hit by a bolt of light.” He closed his eyes as the memory returned and all that went with it. The revelations. The seeing. Seeing what his son said was as true and real as the breath in his lungs. But what did that mean about his darkness and her light? Was it the same? He was special in a different way than she was. She was the kind of innocent his wicked past thrived on using.
His body lost strength again and he collapsed to the bed. “Wow,” he shot out as pieces of the phenomenon with his son flooded him till it was difficult to breathe.
“You need to rest,” she said, sounding on the edge.
He captured her gentle caress, holding her hand, beyond desperate to feel her. “I need you,” he forced out, praying into the void that she’d know what that meant. And maybe tell him, because he had no clue.
“I’m here ain’t I?” she cooed with a shake in her voice.
“You are,” he said, a little amazed about that. “Why?”
“Because I care about you, silly,” she said, petting his hand.
He contemplated the nervous flutter in her fingers. “You’re scared.” The idea brought burning in his gut.
She gave a light laugh. “Terrified to tell you the truth. Never met a man that had so much power over me. Can’t stand the idea of being around you for fear of knowing what you’re capable of. Unintentionally,” she added lightly. “Look, I…I know you don’t want to hurt me, Ruckus. And I don’t want you hurt either.”
He stared at her wondering what that meant as the fire in the pit of his stomach grew. She gently pulled her hand from his and got up, moving her nursing items from the bed. He bit his tongue, waiting for her to say what he felt hanging in the air.
“I can’t really…survive another touch like the one we shared,” she said, at the dresser before turning and leaning against it with her eyes on the floor. The five-foot distance felt like a million miles, and the foreboding slowly turned to stone inside him. “Plus… I’m more trouble here than not.”
“You can’t leave.” The words came unbidden with a foreign desperation. He turned his stare to the ceiling, breathing through the onslaught of adrenalin. “I just…” He let go a breath, searching for words. “I won’t bother you, I just…need to...”
“I can’t be babysat by you Ruckus, it’s too painful. Knowing you’re there and not being able to have you? I’d rather spend the rest of my life in a dark dungeon. Hell, I probably already will just without having to see what I want more than anything I’ve ever wanted.”
She covered her face with a sigh. “And I sure as hell won’t beg,” she added on a whisper.
He made his way to sitting, stifling the groans pushing in his lungs. She stared at his chest and quickly lowered her eyes, demonstrating what she’d just confessed.
“Plus, I don’t want to be running from men who want to try and fix everything.”
The memory of her kissing Nitro and the way he took that kiss set off a wicked kill bomb in Ruckus. His brain had etched every detail of the sin. The starved sounds Nitro had made, her startled gasp when he half devoured her. “You kissed him,” he forced out.
“I…I was angry,” she gushed on a single breath.
He eyed the sight of her pained guilt, allowing it to put a small dent in his rage. But that kiss would haunt him. He’d never kissed a woman and the second he saw him do it, he knew it was his. Her mouth, her body, her everything was his to devour. How fucking impossible everything was. He couldn’t let her leave and he couldn’t stand the thought of her with another man. Spook had been right. He revisited the option of giving her what she craved. What he craved. “I’m not angry. At you,” he clarified. “But I can tell you I’ll lose my mind if I ever see a man put his mouth on you.”
“Which is why I can’t be here,” she said gently.
Pain punched his gut. “Because you want him?”
Her pained gaze shot to his. “No! Because you want me and refuse to have me. And because I’m terrified if you do have me, you’ll…” She sucked in several breaths, covering her mouth. “You’ll kill me again.”
Her pain filled him with a panic then rage for his moronic inability to do a fucking thing. “I don’t know how to fix this,” he finally said, pushing through his injuries and standing. “I want to be the man you need but I’ve never been a man, I’ve been a monster,” he gushed, winded. “When he kissed you all I could think was I’ve never done that and he’s doing to you what only I should ever do but I can’t because I don’t even know how to kiss a woman. How the fuck am I supposed to—”
Gracie intercepted him with her mouth, holding his face as she pressed her lips into his. Just like when his son touched him and he saw everything hidden, her warm, soft mouth unlocked the way to heaven. He sucked in a breath and opened for her with a gasp, then another, grabbing her face with a hunger that made him feel insane and unstable. Her breath shot out when her back hit the wall but she didn’t stop feeling his tongue with hers, pushing and twirling, her moans bringing painful groans from the grave inside him.
“Kiss me, oh God, yes, kiss me.”
He spent an eternity at her mouth, quickly taking everything he could before the impossibility vanished like a mirage. His mouth broke from hers, moving along her face then neck. Her fingers pulled in his hair, and he gave another harsh growl as he opened wider, sucking and licking as his hands prepared the way, yanking way material in his path. He wasn’t sure how he managed to free her breasts, but one then the other was in his mouth. He consumed them for a full minute, feeling and biting every inch before tending to that hard nub that reminded him of her clitoris. Her moans and cries peaked under his aggressive bites until he was crazy.
“Please, fuck me.”
His groan shot out at those hot fucking words followed by a flash of panic on means and methods. “Tell me how,” he declared, not caring about anything but doing it perfect for her.
****
The command alone brought Gracie’s gasp. She was so ready to be manhandled by him she could hardly stand. The walk to the small bed proved dreamlike. Then she turned and fell headlong into a war of need and inhibitions. What did she know? He slowly moved toward her, his gaze hot on her as if maybe he was unlocking the answers to his own questions. There was no wrong way to do this. Surely. And yet, her heart beat crazily against her chest bone the closer his naked chest and leather pants got. She couldn’t stop her loud pants at remembering his beautiful cock and the sheath he kept it in.
“Tell me, angel. Tell me what you want and exactly how you want it.”
“I…I don’t know,” she confessed, swallowing as his mouth got closer till she had to look up. “I just…need you.”
“You need me?” he whispered, seeming to watch his hands move with a mind of their own over her breast.
“Yes,” she strained, dizzy with the strumming over the tips.
“You want me?” He captured her breast in his hands and gave a groan that felt like a curious warning as he squeezed and stroked, discovering everything about them.
“So much,” she said, nodding, watching his huge tanned hands on her.
“Tell me what you want me to do first, Gracie.” He ducked his head and captured her mouth, tasting while his grip on her breast increased. “Would you like my tongue on your clitoris again. My lips?”
Her mouth remained open with weak moans. “Yes, but…I want…” His lips moved along hers as he slid his hand in the elastic band of her loose fitting pants.
“What?” he wondered, finding her mound with his fingers and stroking till her thoughts went up in flames. He slid his hands inside her panties next, his breaths thick at her mouth as he stroked so carefully over her, tracing the shape before finding her seam with a finger. “You are so beautiful here,” he swore around a groan, back at her mouth as if wanting to catch all her moans. He seemed to figure out he had control of them and found her clit. “Here, angel?”
“Oh my… oh,” she whimpered, panting and grabbing his shoulders.
“I got you,” he whispered, back to exploring her mouth with his. She reached down and pushed his finger toward her entrance, fighting to get it in. “This?” He dipped the tip in, and she cried out, back to holding his shoulders. “I love this part too.”
“I need you to fuck me there,” she barely whispered, kissing him back as the flames gave her more courage.
“Show me,” he ordered, as she raised her leg and pushed his finger further in. “Angel, you’re hot and silky. Wet,” he croaked, pushing in deeper. “You like this,” he shuddered as she dropped her head back with grateful moans.
“Yes, fuck it,” she implored, thrusting her hips. “Faster.”
“I need to see this,” he said, dropping down and pushing her pants and panties down and helping her out of them.
He looked at her pussy and leaned in with a hungry moan, placing soft kisses on it. He directed her to sit on the bed then removed his pants, revealing his leather sheathed cock. The sight of it made her gasp as he loosened the straps.
“You like my fucking cock.” Another observation that gave him a great and astonishing pleasure.
She nodded as the sheath dropped to the floor, drawing a gasp from her as she stared at the web of intricate designs along the enormous member. He moved just before her and she stared at it, imagining where it would soon be. “Tell me what to do with this.” He held the base of it, aiming it at her.
She fought to get enough air to her brain to answer. She slowly scooted onto the bed and drew her knees back and open.
His gaze locked on the invitation, and he knelt on the bed, moving on his knees toward her. His head angled and he slid his finger over her slit then dipped into her opening. “Here?”
She nodded, panting like a dog now as he seemed to work out the logistics. He took hold of her hips and lifted her easily off the bed and placed her against the head of his cock. She reached down and helped, moving him on the mark as he let out a lustful, eager moan. His strong fingers dug into her and she braced her feet on the mattress, helping while nervous moans flew faster. He pushed the huge head in and she watched as his eyes shut with his hot gasp. His sexy mouth remained opened as he slowly leveled his hot gaze on her. The raw need was so brutal.
“Do it,” she whimpered, clutching the covers in her fists. “Make love to me.”
Again, his eyes clenched shut with the hardening of his mouth. “Oh fuck,” he grit as she began drawing the huge head deeper. A shocked breath flew from him as his fingers bit into her harder. Sexy groans took him over as he looked down, his body heaving while watching himself slowly enter.
The feeling was overwhelming, bringing an arch to her back as her breasts reached for his touch. The feel of his cock stretching her brought shocked cries faster and louder. “Ruckus! Oh! Oh God you’re so big.”
He answered with a low growl as he jerked her against his body, straining out a long seethe when she screamed.
“Fuck me!”
His boiling gaze crucified her as he gave himself to the power, slamming into her over and over. She watched his orgasm rise up in him, his beautiful face hardening as his growls flew out as fast as he thrashed. Then every muscle seemed to freeze for a glorious second before he was flung into the most terrifying bucking, feral sounds raging out of him. He finally slowed, holding her tight to his body, the walls of her pussy aching with the throb of his cock. His ragged groans slowed as his head came forward. She watched him, the impossible miracle that he was.
He stared at her with such an intensity, his gaze filled with things she would love to hear. Before she could wonder what was next, she felt his cock thickening. At seeing his mouth open with a lusty groan, her breaths picked up speed along with her pulse. There were no words as he fucked her again, a mutual understanding and knowing that a lifetime of unmet needs would be fulfilled and nothing would stop that. In under a minute, he was at another battering ram climax.
“Kiss me!”
His thick body fell on her with his crushing kiss as he bucked till she screamed in his mouth. His own hunger fed on it, consumed it, demanded every bit from her. After his second climax, a warm vibration blanketed her mind and body as their moans dwindled.
He gave a final contented groan and lay at her side then pulled her onto his body. He spent a good fifteen minutes worshipping her body with his. Using his hands, and arms, his feet and even legs, he hugged and stroked and pressed her against him. She did the same back, never feeling anything so glorious. Every inch of him was hard and warm and safe. His skin was silk under her touch and against her lips. She never wanted to leave that spot. Not even her fears of what would come next could reach her in his arms.
But hungers were far from sated she soon realized, and nothing could’ve made her happier. He fucked her three more times, the last with her on the floor, ass lifted high for him. He loved that position the most it seemed. It brought an almost barbaric orgasm that surely left a mark on every surface in her vagina.
“Cease fire,” she croaked breathless when he lay half on her, catching his breath. His laugh rumbled in his chest and to feel it against her body was a gift that made her smile.
“And still I want more,” he said in astonishment between breaths.
“You’ve got a lifetime to make up for,” she justified, managing to turn and enter his protective embrace. “Mmmm,” she barely murmured, utterly exhausted. “That was the best thing I’ve ever felt. You’re the best thing I’ve ever felt.” He stroked her hair and hugged her closer to his hard body as sleep quickly claimed her.
The last thing she remembered was hearing three impossible, wondrous words in her ear. “You’re all mine, Gracie.” Wait. That’s four words.