CHAPTER 4
Felix pulled her phone out of her back pocket and her heart leapt at seeing Nitro’s bomb profile pic she’d assigned him. “Hold on, Seth, your boss is calling.”
She turned, putting her back to her new helper while stepping away. “Qui Monsieur?”
“Mmm,” he muttered, the sexy sound making her tummy flip. “What are you doing?”
“Training Mr. Seth as per your instructions, Mah Bien Monsieur.”
“And how’s that going?”
“He’s a very fast learner,” she exaggerated, glancing over her shoulder at the shy boy-man, not about to give him a bad report.
“He’s behaving?”
“Perfectly,” she said, knowing what he meant. He’d given her a full lecture on the lecture he’d given the poor guy. Probably why he was so uncomfortable around her. Well…and the bats. He wasn’t fond of them even before she’d introduced them.
“Everything is on schedule here,” he said. “We should be returning to the Swamp before night. I want you to return with Seth to the main house and stay there unless I call and say otherwise.”
“Qui Mah Bien Monsieur,” she said with the utmost respect, smiling at the low, sexy noise he made in his throat.
“Mah Petite Rebelle is saying that which requires things from me but I’m not there to give them. And she knows this.”
She bit her smile, his tone making her heart skip a beat. “It is not my intention to cause you any trouble, Mah Bien Monsieur. I’m simply fully cooperating as you ordered me if I am to remain in control of my birds.”
“Qui, Mah Petite Rebelle. And I will reward you later for it.”
“Qui, Mah Bien Monsieur,” she said quietly. “I look forward to meeting all your high expectations.”
“Dieu, I’m going to fuck that ass again, you know that, right?”
She glanced over her shoulder, heat filling her cheeks and privates. “Yes, he’s…uh waiting to finish,” she stammered.
“You’ll get three fingers in that pretty pussy.”
“Oh my God,” she whispered, closing her eyes and getting his chuckle.
“Tell Seth you’ll be right back and take a walk because I know what you look like right now and do not want him seeing it.”
“Excuse me for a sec, Seth,” she called. “I’ll be one more minute.”
“Yes ma’am,” he said as she strolled down the pier, catching her breath.
“I fucking love how you look in orgasm,” he murmured.
“Where in the swamp-hell are you?” she wondered. “Who all is seeing the look on your face?” She fanned her own while he laughed.
“Waiting in the Black Bastard for Hurricane.”
“What in the world is The Black Bastard?”
“A glorified land cage,” he chuckled. “Or Eveque’s 1950 Chevy truck.”
“Oh. Where are yall?”
“At the Grab N Go on I-49. Thirty minutes from location.”
Her heart hammered at what classified thing he was doing again. “And you’re being careful in your secret assignment, right?”
“Always baby,” he said, laughter in his sexy voice.
“If you want…we can stay here tonight and I can cook for you. Practice my uh…wife duties?”
“Only if I can eat you for dessert.”
She looked over her shoulder, feeling like Seth could somehow hear. “Well, I guess that can be arranged. Do I get a say in any of it?”
“Qui, Mah Bien Monsieur is what you get to say. All night.”
“Well, I…texted the Belle Eveque, asking for materials to study for my role as a future wife and was hoping to try out some things on you.” She smiled at the sudden silence on the phone.
“Like what?” he demanded.
“I would rather…show you.” She remembered her pleases. “S”il vous plait, Mah Bien Monsieur.”
“Hurricane is fucking coming,” he swore, making her giggle. “Text me later what you intend to do.”
“You don’t like surprises?”
“I like knowing so I can think about them till I’m pissed with the need to punish your pussy with pleasure.”
“My lord, I could go just listening to your dirty mouth,” she whispered.
He chuckled. “And where would you go?”
“You know what I mean,” she scolded lightly.
“You’ll come all over my face when you fuck my mouth tonight. Bout time, dude,” he said as the phone disconnected. She looked at the screen, her heart beating wildly from everything he caused in her.
The phone buzzed and she looked. Later, my Belle Petite Rebelle. She pressed her hand on her melting heart, never loving a name more. She giggled when he added a heart throbbing gif after, and quickly searched for one that matched. She found a bat blowing kisses and giggled as she sent it then shoved her phone in her pocket.
“All done!” she called to Seth, hurrying back. She realized he was on his phone when he hopped off the fence and slid it in his pocket. “So, back to work. I usually start with my parrots, then I move down the line from there.”
He looked where she pointed and nodded his understanding.
Entering the first housing, she started the grand tour. “So…all their water is automatic. The feeders are the only thing that really requires checking. You want to make sure they’re not clogged up and flowing freely. Sometimes the moisture in the air will cause it to clump up.” She pointed to the large container on the wall. “This here is the feeder. And I use this tool to sort of poke the feed down. Just open this lid, pops off like this and you jab it in there a few times. And don’t forget to put the lid back on.
“Normally I train my birds when I feed them, but I’m not going to ask you to do anything like that.”
He looked up and around. “Don’t they escape out of those windows?”
She laughed. “Not escape, they just come and go that way. This cage isn’t to hold them in it’s just a safe place for them to nest and eat. The surrounding swamp is their home. They usually leave after our morning visit.”
“Wow. How do you know they’re all coming back?”
“I know how many I have. Plus, they have no reason to leave. They have vacation homes they go to during the day all over in the swamp. Or maybe I’m the vacation home,” she said, smiling at them.
“What do you train them for?” he wondered.
She resisted the urge to spill everything at once at his genuine curiosity. “Well, each species of bird has certain abilities or strengths. I won’t bore you with the scientific details, but these ones I train to entertain.”
He regarded them. “Like how? Sing?”
“I’ll show you.” Felix stood before the birds. “Hello there,” she called, raising her palms before the birds, getting the trained “Hello Felix” in return.
Seth busted out laughing with an astonished, “Wow!” at the perfectly unified mimic. “They sounded just like you!” he said.
She nodded. “Say hello to Seth,” she said, waving.
They all lifted their left leg and wagged it, prompting more laughing awe from their audience. “I think they like you, Seth.”
“What else can they do?” he wondered, his eagerness contagious.
“How about we sing a song for Seth. How about…Brother John?” She raised her hands and began,
“Are you sleeping...
are you sleeping…
brother John?
Brother John?”
The twenty birds followed along in perfect unison, and she giggled at Seth’s dropped jawed and wide-eyes. She bowed at the end, and they all turned around in a circle on the perch bar.
“Holy moley!” he cried.
“Yep.”
“How do you do that?”
His genuine curiosity was more than she could stand so she divulged it all.
“All that just by rewarding them with food?”
“And love and praise,” she said. “They are very affectionate creatures. I document the training, intelligence tests—which usually involved problem solving skills—general habits, social behaviors and so forth then provide it to the university in bi-annual reports.”
Her face warmed at seeing and hearing how impressed he was. “I am so amazed. Didn’t realize how smart birds were.”
“Oh yes. Wait till you meet my crows!”
They headed to the next cage. “Goooood morning Vietnam!”
The crows erupted in noises that mimicked explosions and gunfire, sending Seth ducking for cover. How funny! His look of astonishment had her laughing up a storm.
“How”d they do that!?”
“They mimic sound. Pah-Pah often played with the gifts Bullets and Nitro gave him and one day I used that Good Morning Vietnam expression and they returned with that. So, it became our word prompt. I should warn you that crows hold grudges and remember faces. You stay out of this cage for now as they are somewhat possessive and aggressive with strangers at first. Once you feed them and get to know them, they will accept you.”
“Are those the ones you gonna use at the Bat-tie?”
Her stomach dropped at hearing he knew about it. Of course he did, probably the entire swamp knew by now. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about that darn Bat-tie.” She put her hands on her hips. “I was being…quite irrational.”
“I hope you’re not backing out,” he said, looking worried. “Everybody’s really looking forward to it.”
She eyed him, surprised. “They are?”
“Oh hell yeah,” he cried. “Everybody and their momma’s kin wants to know all about the Bayou Bird lady.”
“Really?”
“Really, really,” he nodded with certainty. “I mean you gotta show them this and put to rest the crazy rumors.”
“What…crazy rumors?” she asked, scared to know.
He shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets. “Cuckoo. Bat-shit crazy. You know, all the bird flinging innuendos.”
She had to laugh at his honesty. “Glad you told me.” She regarded her crows as ideas formed. “So, you think…maybe I should give them a demonstration of what I do?”
More vigorous nods with his “Yes, ma’am, I do. When they see what you’ve shown me, they’re gonna go ape-shit wild about you.”
Heat flooded her neck and cheeks at the idea of such a thing even as visions of her standing in the Bat-tie field dressed in…hmm, what would she wear to something like that? Maybe she would dress up and wear her black training cloak and bring her training staff.
“You said they’re aggressive. How so?”
She snapped from her Bird Bat-tie fantasy. “Oh…well, they’ll peck you with their sharp beaks which will tear skin. You get twenty of them doing that at once and you’re in a world of trouble.”
“I don’t doubt it! And…you can make them do that?”
“I can,” she said easily. “If I make a certain distress call, they will come to my aid and attack whatever is in the vicinity. I had to use them once when I came upon a cougar in the swamp.”
“And they came?”
She nodded a lot. “They did! And not just mine, others too, because there were so many more than I own among them.”
“They scared it off?”
Her eyes widened. “They killed it! And ate it!”
“Holy shit,” he swore, his eyes big as hers now. “Now…I know you have bats, and I can tell you I’m a little creeped out by them.” He glanced along the cages.
“They live in the house with me,” she let him know. “In my parents old bedroom.” She had to laugh at the look of horror on his face. “As to your question I think you were going to ask, yes, they are also birds of protection. In fact, they are my prized soldiers. And friends,” she said fondly, fighting back the avalanche of bat facts that wanted to flow.
“Sooooo…”
She knew what he wanted to ask and nodded. “Yes, they will be fighting in the Bat-tie.”
He let out a huge gasp with a grin. “Hoooly shit, I cannot wait to see that!”
“It is certainly a sight to see and one nobody has seen other than my Mah-Mah and Pah-Pah. The bats living in my home are my Generals and they are most protective.”
“Generals! How many you got?”
“I have a hundred twenty of those.”
“Wow! Why do you call them Generals?”
“Because they command the army of bats living around my swamps. What I communicate to them, they communicate to those if I want them to.”
His eyes popped. “Damn. How many are there in the swamp?”
“If my calculations are correct, and I’m certain they are within the hundreds, I’d say twenty-five thousand.”
“What!?”
She nodded, crossing her arms. “I put up about a hundred bat houses over the years in these swamps and they can each hold two-hundred fifty. There could be more.”
“So…what exactly can they do?”
She smiled at that, immediately returning to her Bat-tie fantasy ideas, realizing what an opportunity this actually was. She also remembered mention of them possibly wanting to use them in their offenses or defenses. Hmm. “Much like my crows, they will attack. The difference is in their saliva. They possess an enzyme called DSPA, or… desmodus rotundus salivary plasminogen activator. I always liked saying that,” she said with a grin before going on. “It’s like an enzyme called t-PA or tissue plasminogen activator that is used to treat people who’ve had strokes. Experiments were conducted with mice who had brain damage similar to that caused by a stroke. Some were injected with DSPA and other mice received injections of t-PA. The mice were then studied to determine which treatment caused the least amount of further brain damage and had the greatest effect in reducing the amount of brain damage that had already occurred.” She waved her messy explanation away. “Basically, bats have something that can dissolve blood clots in their saliva which is being studied to help stroke victims. Wait…was your question?”
“Just…how would you use them in a Bat-tie?”
She had to laugh at that. “Right! Well, if anybody is having a stroke during the Bat-tie, they would surely serve a great purpose, but…if you’re bit by a lot of bats, what happens is you can bleed out because their saliva doesn’t allow the incision they create to clot. This makes it easier to drink the blood of their victims.” She giggled at the disturbed look he wore. “They don’t suck, by the way. Your blood. They lap it up. Like a cute mignon petite chat.”
He snorted. “They may be little but they ain’t no cute kitty.”
She remembered what they were doing and got back to it. “Of course, I won’t allow the bats to bite, this is more of a sports event. I was thinking to require an attempt to capture flags from my robes or something, and the bats would prevent them, thereby winning the Bat-tie for me.”
“You sound uh…”
“Confident? I am.” She turned to the cage with a proud smile. “I’ll show you a demonstration later if you promise not to tell.” She glanced over her shoulder. “I want it to be a surprise.