Be My Forever

Chapter 31

It was funny how Danté found his own place in my life in just a few days. It was as if there had always been a space waiting to be filled up by him, in a non-sexual way. Changes were small but apparent. Most of the evenings, he ate with us. During the evenings and weekends, Danté did his paperwork or watched sports on TV while I finished studying for my last weeks of classes. In a few weeks, I would finally start my internship, so there were still papers and projects that needed to be wrapped up before.

Since it had also become quite clear that he and I could not go for a run together – that’s just how things were when two people had too different heights – he went to the gym with me. He never stopped complaining about how it was boring to run on a treadmill. In the end, Danté was the one to drag me there.

The lines we still hadn’t crossed were sleeping in the same bed, and sex. It was an unspoken rule between us. If Danté was in my bed and ready for me, how could I resist? I wasn’t that strong. It didn’t mean I didn’t miss him at night. I just hadn’t expected everything to feel so natural. Except for the extra kissing and snuggling, we were still bickering and annoying each other like we did before. It was a relief that we were still just Evy and Danté, and not just a mushy couple that suddenly didn’t have an identity outside of its bubble anymore.

I was typing away on my computer, lost in my homework, when Danté poked me in the ribs. I startled and almost chucked my laptop at his face. Every time I wanted to get back to my paper, he found another way to bug me. The first two times, I had laughed it off. It wasn’t just that he was trying to annoy me. The constant fussing like a mother hen like “Are you drinking enough water?” kept distracting me. The third time he went to poke me, I snapped.

“Can you not? I’m trying to work.”

My voice sounded much louder than what I had meant it to be. The cutting tone took Danté by surprise. His eyebrows went up, and he showed me his palms. I almost expected him to tell me to chill the fuck down or to call me a drama queen. He never did. Danté gave me space, and I could finally focus again.

Danté was on the couch, looking outside, face blank and shoulders stiff. I closed my laptop before padding over to him. The sky had gone dark outside. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t hear me approach. I draped myself over his shoulders, gluing my cheek against his. His spine stiffened even more as he startled, but he never relaxed.

“Are you alright, babe?”

He hummed, his posture getting a tad bit rigid. That was a first.

“How is the paper coming along?” he asked in a tone that sounded light-hearted. It also sounded fake.

“Slowly but surely. I hate writing papers.”

Finally, a little smile bloomed on his face, though he still looked worried. “I’m sure you’ll nail it anyway.”

“Of course I will.”

I flashed him a cheeky grin, which he returned. Danté got up and went for the door. I followed him to let him out.

“I need to get a few things from the store. Do you need anything?”

“Some coconut ice cream if you find any.”

Danté nodded without adding anything. For a second, it looked like he hesitated on what he should do. He ended up waving before going back to his own door. There definitely was something wrong.

“Not so fast, Ortega.”

Just like we had for years, we stared at each other from our apartment fronts.

“Why do I get the feeling that you’re running away from me?”

It wasn’t like him to not answer. Danté always knew what he had to say, whether it was something I wanted to hear or not. His silence was answer enough, and it made me anxious.

“What’s the matter?”

“Everything is fine.”

Still, he didn’t look my way. What was going on?

“Then why didn’t you kiss me before leaving?”

The silence stretched. I went over to his side of the hallway and wrapped my arms around his middle. Just like before, his muscles hardened under my touch. So I was right. I was the problem, in a non-antihero sort of way.

“Tell me what’s troubling you. You stiffen when I touch you.”

“You told me to stop.”

My head shot up as realization hit me. “Is this because I asked you to stop teasing me?”

His gaze lingered a few moments on me before falling to the carpeted floor. I sighed. His love language had always been touching, and like a bitch, I had walked all over his feelings without even noticing.

“I am sorry I snapped at you. I didn’t think you’d be hurt by it.”

“It’s not just you.”

And yet, he still couldn’t look at me.

“Then tell me what it is.”

He finally lifted his head, looking me straight in the eye. There was a vulnerability I hadn’t seen there before. “Do you find me too clingy?”

My anxiety made my hands sweaty. What had I done?

“Where is this coming from?” I asked slowly.

“Two of my exes told me I was too clingy, too present. I need to know if that’s how you feel too.”

Oh, just great. Not only had I been rude, but I had also made him doubt himself. It was unsettling to see Danté without his usual confidence. Or his usual carefree self.

“What if I did?”

“Then I guess I’d have to do something about it.”

My heart broke at the resolve in his voice. I appreciated that he wanted to do his best for me, just like I felt sad he even thought he needed to change for me at all.

“Please don’t. I know how important it is for you to have physical contact.”

“But you...”

“I wanted you to stop teasing me,” I said, giving him a reassuring smile, “because I needed to focus. I didn’t mean that you couldn’t touch me.”

Hopefully, this would make him relax a bit. It didn’t. He nervously rocked on his feet.

“You’ll tell me if I become too much?”

“I already knew you were like this, and I liked you anyway.”

“Evelyn, promise me,” he insisted.

Whatever had happened in his previous relationships, I couldn’t let that happen again.

“I promise I'll always be honest with you. Now please stop looking so sad. I like the fact that you are a human koala.”

The tension in his body seeped away. His dimpled smile was contagious. I opened my arms, and without hesitating, Danté lifted me up, making me twirl like a princess. He pressed a kiss to my temple.

“You're the best.”

I didn’t like serious moments like these.

“I know. Now go get my ice cream.”

Danté let out an exaggerated sigh. Yeah, I know, I had ruined the moment. That had been the whole point.

“Only you would think about food at times like these.”

“Food is the love of my life.”

“Ouch.”

“Don't worry, babe, you’re a close second.”

His eyebrows shot up, and I pressed my lips together. That was not how I had envisioned talking about love with him. My palms became slick as panic invaded my system.

Danté’s eyes disappeared when his smile grew wider. He put me on the floor ever so gently. “Why don’t we go out for ice cream instead?”

Catastrophe averted.

“I'd love that.”

As we went out for our date, he never let me go, and that was perfect.