Beak Performance (Fangs on Ice #3)

2. Two

Two

Max

H oly fucking shit. I must be out of my mind.

It was the only explanation for why I had gone and kissed my captain.

I kissed him. Oh, by the Night Goddess. Why the fuck did I do that?

I rested my back against the wall by the door. Slumping in a suit wasn’t something one did. I remembered my mother telling me about a hundred times to behave myself when I wore formal attire to their company parties.

“Maxmilian! Stand up straight; don’t slump. You’ll get creases in your suit.”

Goddess, I had hated the events they organised for their investors, shareholders, and business partners. The frequent meltdowns I’d had as a child got me out of them. But as soon as I’d been able to play neurotypical long enough to get through the events, it had been on.

The adorable Gruber children were paraded around to show everyone how happy our family was.

Marie, my younger sister, had enjoyed them. Her ADHD had made her the life and soul of every party, a cute, energetic girl with pigtails and pompous frilly dresses to hide the feathers. And then there was me.

Earnest and bored Max, who never fit in and wasn’t mad about it.

I smirked into the dim room when I remembered the last time my mother made me go. It had been their company’s Christmas party about ten years ago. Sixteen-year-old me had shown up looking like a character from one of my favourite anime; I had worn a black futuristic overall with combat boots and the sides of my head shaved.

Goddess, Mum had hated that. She had me escorted out of the ballroom and nobody ever said a word about it.

I should get that haircut again. That was a good look.

I’d been so lost in my memories, I’d completely forgotten I should be panicking.

I fucking kissed Arne Bendixen!

I was probably lucky he didn’t punch me in the face.

The team hardly ever discussed sexual orientation; you just dated whoever you dated. Yet, I was pretty sure Arne was straight. On the rare occasions I’d seen him get hit on, it had only ever been female-presenting people. And even if he was queer, I was sure he wouldn’t be into a pansexual mess like me.

Yet, the look on his face had told a different story. His eyes had dipped to my lips so much, even my autistic ass couldn’t have mistaken his intentions for something else.

Pattern recognition on point, Max. It doesn’t help that he’s just so pretty.

For a minute, I considered calling in sick, but maybe that wasn’t the best impression to leave on the last night of my first training camp with the team.

You can’t avoid him, anyway. He’s your captain. You shower together. And he has such a nice cock.

Which I shouldn’t have noticed. At all.

I usually didn’t. Contrary to what my ex-boyfriend had accused me of, I never ever lusted over my teammates. For one, getting hard in the shower sucked. It happened occasionally to all of us. No matter how exhausted we were after playing; winning gave you—and your cock—a postgame high. We usually just ignored it. The times in which you’d get teased for a boner were long gone. Thank fuck.

But I also didn’t go around sexualising every person I met.

Just your captain.

My smartwatch vibrated with the timer I’d set so that I wouldn’t miss the feast.

Time blindness. It’s so much fun.

Okay. You are a capable adult. Well, a clueless Night Raven cosplaying as a capable adult. You can do this. It’s going to be alright. He kissed you back…

I checked my suit in the full-length mirror and tried to fix my stubborn curls but gave them up as a terrible job. They never did what I wanted.

On my way down to the ground floor, I pulled a hair tie out of my inner pocket and put my hair up in the kind of bun I wore for my workouts.

I hated it when wet hair touched my face. Ugh. The mere idea of it made me shudder. Dry hair wasn’t a lot better, but I could at least stand it. Not today, though.

The gravel crunched under my soles when I crossed the yard. Night wouldn’t be falling for another two hours. I breathed in the evening air and let my gaze rest on the land for a moment to ground myself. As much as I enjoyed living in a city, I’d grown up in a quaint Austrian village. The country was where I felt at peace.

Scotland was grittier, flatter, and less lush than Austria or the Fichtel Mountains, but it was no less beautiful.

The restaurant’s windows cast their warm glow out into the evening. I steeled myself and entered.

Okay, you can do this.

Most of the other guys had chosen seats over at the long table the staff had put up.

I picked a seat next to Decks and across from Arne, who gave me a small smile. Still, I didn’t join the conversation for most of the night.

I absorbed and watched. Mostly Arne. I wanted to memorise him.

As if you’d forget anything about that man.

Arne Bendixen was the stuff of my wet dreams. He had a chiselled jaw covered in dark stubble and a smattering of freckles on his straight nose. Expressive eyebrows overshadowed his beautiful blue eyes.

So gorgeous.

“Don’t you like steak?” Arne asked me in a low voice when Decks, Bo, and the others left to socialise with the other guests.

“No. I don’t know why, but I’ve never been able to eat it.”

My captain cocked his head at me. He had teased Decks for missing his fiancé‘s cooking.

Are you going to tease me, too?

I looked back down at my plate, piercing one of the green beans with my fork. I’d always liked those. I’d had a phase at age four when I’d eaten nothing but green beans, sprouts, spinach, and broccoli. Mum never tired of telling the story. That was when my parents realised I wasn’t a typical child.

“Do you want me to get you something else from the kitchen?”

My eyes snapped up.

“Sorry?”

“I’m sure their chef could whip up something else for you. I don’t like the idea of you not eating tonight.”

He wants to feed me?

“Oh, uh. No, it’s fine.”

Arne rose with a ferocity he usually only displayed on the ice, a Viking rising for battle.

“It’s not fine. What food can you eat?”

There’s no arguing with him.

“Chicken or fish is always good,” I told him, admitting defeat.

He returned fifteen minutes later carrying a rectangular plate with a large chicken breast and a piece of salmon. There was more rice and green vegetables on the side.

He brought me a plate of my safe foods.

“Here you go, Raven.” Arne handed me the plate. “Enjoy.”

“Thanks, Captain.”

“You’re welcome.”

He watched me eat, looking pleased with himself.

“Better?”

I looked up and met his eyes, hanging on them for a moment. Arne’s tongue darted out to swipe across his bottom lip.

Stop looking at me like that, Viking, please.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Can’t let you go to bed hungry.”

Want to help me fill that other hunger I feel when I look at you?

“I would have been okay.”

“I don’t want you to be just ‘okay’.”

There was that soft smile again. “Want to walk back with me? I’m turning in early.”

“Good idea. I’m exhausted. Better get some sleep before we travel tomorrow. I can’t sleep on planes.”

Why are you telling him this?

He waited until I was next to him. Bumping his elbow against mine, he gave me a wink.

“Me neither.”

We made our way back to the hotel.

“Are you okay, Raven?” Arne buried his hands in his pockets and looked at me out of the corners of his eyes.

He means because of the kiss.

“I am. You?”

“Me, too.” A dark strand fell over his brow when he nodded. I longed to reach over and brush it back. Wanted to wrap him in a hug and devour his mouth again.

I bet it’s written all over my face. I suck at masking.

He froze, lips parted and eyes glued to mine. We were still out in the hallway.

Run, Max. Run and don’t come out until tomorrow.

“This is my room.” Arne flinched at my words.

“Oh, yeah. Good night, Max.”

“Good night.”

I disappeared into my room and locked the door behind me. I did not trust myself not to do anything dumb.

It was almost eleven when someone knocked on my door. I opened it in a shirt and boxer shorts. I knew exactly who it was.

With his temple leaned against the doorframe, he looked like he’d tried and failed to sleep, so finally came to see me.

“Hey, Raven. Can we talk for a minute?”

“Sure, come in.” I stepped aside and let him pass.

Let’s address the raven in the room.

“We need to talk about what happened earlier,” he muttered, taking a step closer to me. “About the kiss.” His gaze dropped to my lips then hastily returned to my eyes.

I didn’t know what to say.

“I’m not angry or upset or anything, yeah?” Arne reached out and gripped my forearm. “But we can’t do this. I’m sorry. We’re teammates, and it’s better if we stay that way. Fuck, I am your captain. I shouldn’t have…”

“No, I’m sorry, Cap. I overstepped. I shouldn’t have…Forgive me.”

“It’s not that I didn’t like the kiss,” Arne added in a whisper, completely ignoring what I had said. “Fuck no, Max. You know the truth. But we can’t.”

What the fuck is the truth, Viking? Did you love the kiss?

“Yeah, I understand.”

I did not understand a fucking thing.

He nodded, way too close to me, and his eyes searched my face and dipped to my lips every few seconds.

Don’t fucking kiss me now, Viking. Don’t you fucking dare.

“Good night, Arne.”

He swallowed hard, licking his lips as he nodded. “Yeah, goodnight, Max. Sleep well.”