EPILOGUE
5 years later
The first sound that I hear upon opening my eyes is the sound of birds chirping outside, hiding in the trees. I have no idea what time it is. In a way, it doesn’t matter. I’ve got an alarm clock which never fails, so I’m sure if it was time to get up, I’d hear it.
I stretch a little in bed, grateful for the little privileges in life, like waking up on your own. I turn to the other side. The cradle is by the bedside, closed on all sides apart from the one next to me. I reach out towards the little pink bundle, and place my hand gently on her tummy. I can feel it slowly rising up, then going down. Her chubby little face is turned away from me. She is sleeping, my little angel. Our princess. Ivy.
I check the time. She should be getting up in less than an hour. It’s feeding time. I gaze outside the window. I can’t really see anything, but I’m still trying to catch any familiar sounds. Apart from the birds, it’s quiet. Beautifully peaceful and soothing.
I love this place. I think no place on Earth is as wonderful as Swallow Springs. Or, maybe, I’m being biased. It might not be the place so much, as the people. Swallow Springs wouldn’t be the Swallow Springs I know without the bikers, without Mason, without Adrian, without Wagner. But, with them, it’s home. It’s the place where I finally managed to face my darkest fears and come out victorious. I doubt I would ever be able to do it without them. In more ways than one, they saved me. They saved both me and Dominick, and I think he himself is aware of it. He has accepted them into his life, and into his heart, and despite everything I believed so far, I think I’ve finally found my happiness, my family.
Sometimes, I still think I don't deserve all this joy. Like, I’m not worthy. I guess there is still a little bit of Russell’s poison inside of me. When I feel it rise, I take a deep breath. Adrian has been teaching me yoga, and how to handle myself when I feel a wave of past memories about to crash into me. He’s taught me to accept it, and more importantly, to let go. I’m not perfect. None of us are. We all make mistakes. That is why I try not to hate Russell. Wherever he is, I hope he is well. He’s in the past, and I intend on keeping him there.
The only thing I’m grateful to him for is that he’s kept his promise. He hasn’t been contacting us. Wagner and Adrian did manage to track him down, somewhere south. He signed the divorce papers without a single word. I doubt he had anything to say to the man who almost killed him.
When I look at myself in the mirror, I see a new woman. I see a woman who isn’t a stranger to happiness, who is smiling all the time, without fear that her happiness will be taken the wrong way and she might be punished for it. I am allowed to express my feelings. I am free to laugh or cry, whatever I feel like doing at any given moment. And, this is a freedom no one will ever take away from me. I won’t let them. Never again. I almost lost it once, and now I value it much more than before. It’s so sad that one needs to lose something, to realize how important it is.
Ivy stirs a little in her sleep, and then turns to face me. She is still asleep. Her little pouty mouth is partly open. She is breathing slowly, steadily. Her cheeks are so chubby and cute, I feel like pinching them all the time.
Sometimes, when I look at her, I try to see who she looks like the most. As she grows, I find that I see a little bit of all four of us in her. Her eyes are definitely Mason’s. She has Adrian’s big forehead. She’s got my lips, and let’s just hope that she won’t get Wagner’s feisty nature. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
Finally, she opens her eyes, those beautiful eyes that seem to carry every wisdom of the world inside of them. She looks at you as if she wants to reveal everything to you, but she can’t. You don’t understand her. After a while, she stops trying and realizes, actually you both realize, that her smile is enough for you. You will do everything for it.
She reaches out to me and I jump to take her in my arms. She feels light as a feather. I place a gentle kiss on her forehead.
“Are you hungry, my little baby?” I coo, as I adjust myself comfortably on the bed, for our feeding session.
Ivy hungrily finds my nipple and starts to suck. I pet her head a little, enjoying the sensation. A few more birds chirp right outside the window. Ivy looks up, curious.
“We’ll go look at the birds after you’re done eating,” I tell her, with a smile. “Just eat now, baby.”
As she continues, I wonder where the guys are. Adrian sometimes takes Dominick fishing. They always throw the fish back, and the whole point of their fishing is to talk about philosophy and other deep issues. When Dominick told me this, I almost didn’t believe him. Then, Adrian confirmed it. I never thought my son would ever discuss philosophy with anyone, but here we are.
Mason takes him on long walks, when he goes into town. What makes me prouder than ever is the fact that he agreed to change his profession, and now, instead of selling ancient artefacts on the Dark Web, the guys opened a bike shop. Sure, the money isn’t nearly as good, but they’ve all agreed that they like the change of pace. Plus, they all have some money put aside, so finances aren’t an issue, we’re fortunate.
Wagner teaches him all sorts of things, like working with motorcycles, cars, pipes. He’s very handy. I guess, you could call him a Jack of all trades, even though he didn’t like it when I mentioned it jokingly a while back. I doubt there is anything he can’t fix. After all, he fixed my broken heart. He, alongside Adrian and Mason. And, I myself thought I was a lost cause. But, he showed me otherwise. They all did.
Dominick respects them and loves them all equally. His time with each of them individually makes him grow and develop in ways I could never offer him. Sometimes, a boy needs a father’s hand, and he is lucky that now, he has three father figures who have taken him under his wing.
Ivy finishes with her milk, and I check her diaper.
“Dry as a whistle,” I chuckle. “You know what that means? We can go outside, see where our boys are.”
I take her into my arms, and we go out into the morning sunshine. I adjust her little sunhat, as her eyes google everything around her. It’s so wonderful seeing the way a baby is introduced to the world. She looks at it as if every single thing is a miracle. It’s an ability we lose as we grow up. To an adult, nothing is a miracle. We get lost in the dull waters of life and we forget what really matters.
We walk around the shacks, waving at familiar faces, but none of them are the ones we’re looking for. Finally, Mason jumps out in front of us.
“My queens,” he smiles at us, then kisses the tip of Ivy’s nose. It tickles her, and she releases the sweetest giggle. “Where are you off to on this fine morning?”
“Actually, looking for you guys,” I tell him.
“Adrian took Dominick to the lake, to fish. And, Wagner decided to join them, last minute,” he explains.
“Well, it is Saturday,” I laugh. “Maybe we could all go there, and have a picnic?”
“That’s a great idea,” his face beams. “I just need to give Swayze a heads up on the bike we’re working on, and then I’m all yours.”
“Lucky me,” I smile, blushing.
He seizes the opportunity and kisses me on the lips. He tastes salty and sweet at the same time. He’s one big contradiction, as always.
“Us girls will go and ready the food,” I tell him.
“Alright, I’ll come by the shack when I’m done, and we’ll head on over to the lake.”
“Deal,” I smile.
I slowly walk back to the shack, thinking whether to make a salad or some sandwiches for everyone. Ivy coos softly, like a little kitten, purring in my arms. Tears fill my eyes, and I have to stop to wipe them. I know it’s silly. It’s downright ridiculous to cry because you’re happy. But, I can’t stop myself. I guess, in the end, it doesn’t matter if others believe you’re worthy of being loved, cherished and respected. What matters is that you believe you are.
With a heart filled with joy and love, I head over to the kitchen to make some sandwiches.
*****
Enjoy what you read? Then you’ll love Bear Shifter Dating Agency!