Chapter 39
Bea glanced down at her phone. How did it go with Pritchard?
N xx. She put the spoon back in the tub of Ben & Jerry’s she’d been eating and wiped the tears from her eyes.
She knew she should have messaged Nathan – and Phoebe come to think of it – to tell them they’d got the shop, but she hadn’t been able to face it.
All she could think about was Cece. Gorgeous, perfect, beautiful Cece.
Her phone pinged with another message: Hey, Miller, call me when you get this. Where are you? Mum said you dropped by, is everything okay?
She typed out a reply: Sorry, yeah, the shop’s ours xx
Nathan’s reply was instant: Brilliant! Apple Tree tonight? 8pm?
She wasn’t sure she could face seeing him yet, not after finding out about Cece.
Why hadn’t he told her himself? It was bad enough knowing she’d missed her chance with him, but to find out through his mum was awful.
Bea dropped her head into her hands and carried on sobbing. What was she going to do?
She thought back to everything she’d been through over the last few months: leaving her job, risking all her savings to buy the wagon, the accident, Lochlan.
Despite it all, she was still standing, still thriving.
She’d overcome all the challenges of the past few months and, if she’d learnt anything, it was that when life gets you down, you have to pick yourself up and keep on going.
It may have taken her a while to see clearly, but she knew now, for certain, that what she wanted was Nathan, so she’d just have to go and fight for him.
Bea didn’t think she’d ever felt so nervous before in all her life, as she walked into the Apple Tree that night.
Her palms were clammy, her pulse racing and her legs threatening to give way.
After polishing off the whole tub of ice cream, she’d taken a hot shower and spent the afternoon thinking about how badly this conversation with Nathan could play out, but in the end she knew, regardless of the result, she had to tell him how she felt.
She ordered a whisky from Pete, downed it in one, and was just about to order another when she felt a gentle tap on the shoulder and turned round to see Nathan, her Nathan, behind her.
‘Hello, you,’ he said, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek.
He looked gorgeous, and Bea took a nervous swallow. How was it she’d never noticed how cute his dimples looked when he smiled? He was so familiar to her, but now she saw him clearly. The most handsome, kind, thoughtful and caring man she’d ever known.
Oh, Nathan, she thought. Why did it take me so long to see you?
Gathering herself, she replied, ‘Hey, yourself! Good day?’
‘Yeah, fine, good, just the usual, really. So, do you know when we’ll be able to open?’ he continued, catching her off guard. So he wasn’t going to mention his date, then, she thought.
‘Erm… no, not yet. There’s so much to do, we need to sit down properly, work it all out.
We’ll need to add shelving, of course, but I’m going to speak to Greg about that.
Then there’s the colour scheme to think about.
I thought I might paint it in the same pastel colours as the wagon?
What?’ she asked, suddenly aware of his eyes upon her.
‘I dunno,’ he shrugged, his green eyes dancing with mischief. ‘It’s just you. You light up when you talk about your business. Honestly, it’s so sweet.’
Bea reached for her empty glass again, her fingers brushing his. Their eyes locked and she felt something flicker between them. The knot in her stomach was tightening – this was it, this was the moment to tell him how she really felt…
‘Listen, Nate, I—’
‘Bea! I’ve just heard the news about the shop, my dear!’ Bea looked up and there was Jean, beaming widely, looming over her. She cursed her timing.
‘It’s brilliant news, isn’t it?’ said Nathan, smiling warmly.
‘Oh, absolutely! I’m so pleased for you,’ said Jean.
‘Thanks,’ said Bea, flatly, all the spark having left her.
‘Looking forward to the launch party!’ called Jean, heading for the bar.
‘Great, thanks,’ Bea replied.
‘Sorry, were you going to say something?’ Nathan asked, his boyish grin wide.
Her heart flipped.
‘Yeah, so…’ she started. ‘The thing is, Nate, I—’
‘Congratulations, Bea! Tori told me about the shop,’ called out Rose, walking into the pub with Scout.
For God’s sake.
‘Thanks,’ Bea replied, momentarily distracted by the always-excitable Border Collie.
‘I don’t suppose you’ve seen Jake, have you?’ Rose asked.
‘Yeah, I saw him head to the beer garden,’ said Nathan, helpfully.
‘Ah, brilliant, thanks,’ said Rose. ‘By the way, did I tell you we’re off to Portofino in October? It sounded so wonderful in that book we read for Book Club, and Jake surprised me and booked it!’
‘Wow! I can’t believe it!’ said Bea.
‘Me neither, I can’t wait. We’re going to try to find that secret beach that Damian takes Jane to,’ Rose grinned. ‘Anyway, see you later.’
‘Do you fancy going for a walk?’ she asked Nathan, quickly, before anyone else interrupted her.
‘What, now?’ Nathan replied, surprised. ‘Don’t you want another drink?’
‘Nah, I’m fine,’ said Bea, trying to sound casual. ‘Come on, it’s a nice night,’ she added.
‘Sure, okay, a walk sounds great,’ said Nathan, downing the dregs of his pint. ‘Lead the way.’
When they finally made it outside, having been stopped by other well-meaning well-wishers, the cool night air was a blessed relief.
‘News certainly travels fast, doesn’t it?’ she said, looping her arm through his as she always had done. His warm skin against hers felt incredible, and she took a moment to collect herself.
‘Around here it does, yeah,’ Nathan chuckled.
They walked in silence, the stars bright as diamonds high in the night sky.
‘Wow, it’s chilly,’ said Bea, rubbing her arms
‘Here, take this,’ he said, giving her his jacket. ‘You know, if you look up, that’s Orion’s Belt,’ he continued, pointing in the distance, his hand brushing her cheek.
Her skin tingled where he touched it.
‘And see that trio of stars there?’ he said, ‘that’s Alnitak, Alnilam and Mintaka. It’s crazy, really, they look so close, but they’re actually light years away.’
‘They’re beautiful,’ she whispered, her breath caught in her throat. ‘Listen, Nate, there’s something I want to talk to you about… I know my timing’s not great, as you’re seeing Cece, but if I don’t say it now I’ll always—’
‘Sorry, what?’ he said, his gaze moving from the sky to rest on her face.
‘Cece? Your mum said you were seeing her—’
‘Well, that explains a lot,’ he said, laughing. ‘I’m not seeing her,’ he said, making air quotes. ‘I’m helping her out with a project she’s working on. She’s asked me to be a mentor, that’s all. That’s Mum putting two and two together, but it was just a business meeting, nothing more.’
‘So you’re not…’ said Bea, relief flooding through her.
‘No, we’re not,’ he replied, emphatically.
‘Oh,’ Bea murmured.
‘Oh?’ he asked, his face searching hers for an answer.
‘Well, you see, the thing is,’ she said, stepping towards him.
This was it. She had to tell him. It was now or never.
‘The thing is, Nate… well, the thing is, I’ve realized something. I’ve realized that our friendship isn’t…’ she stuttered, somehow more nervous now she knew he wasn’t going out with Cece than when she thought he was.
‘Isn’t what, Miller? Spit it out, for God’s sake.’ he chuckled, absolutely not getting the hint at all.
‘It isn’t, well… what I mean is… Oh god, this is so hard!’ she gulped. ‘Okay, I’ve got feelings for you, Nate, like, real feelings. There. I’ve said it.’
His mouth dropped open in surprise.
‘I think there’s something there. I felt it. In Brighton, you know? I was scared, I think, scared of ruining our friendship,’ she said, on a roll now and powerless to stop. ‘But I think you felt it, too? Feel it, too?’
He stepped towards her, nodding slowly, his eyes sparkling.
‘I don’t want to lose you, Nate, but I can’t not tell you how I feel, you know?’ she said, squeezing her eyes shut, letting out a very deep, very slow breath.
Silence. Not a word. She could hear him breathing, but you could have heard a pin drop.
‘You’re not going to lose me,’ he said, finally, and when she opened her eyes, he was smiling. ‘I feel the same, Bea. I have for months and it’s been killing me.’
‘You have?’ she gasped.
‘God, yes! But what with Lochlan and the accident, it just never felt like the right time, and I wasn’t prepared to risk losing you as a friend in case you didn’t feel the same way,’ he admitted, sheepishly.
‘I know,’ she said, closing the space between them. ‘But I think it’s a risk we have to take, don’t you?’ she murmured.
‘I think so,’ he said.
And, when his lips finally touched hers, they were soft and warm, and she pulled him close, never wanting to let go.