Chapter 53
Chapter Fifty-Three
BELLAMY
I sat in the garden, harvesting more of the nettle weed that Kairoth had planted. I never did ask him where he found it, but I was grateful nonetheless.
It had been weeks since his revelation to me, weeks where I’d been knitting as fast as I could, visiting my brothers nightly, looking for any signs of further deterioration of their minds. I had five full sweaters knitted now, thanks to the salve Leoni and Driscoll had figured out how to make. Without poison threading through my blood, I was able to knit faster than before, and my hands remained in better shape.
The wounds were still painful, the process still arduous, but at least I had a way to keep the poison from killing me.
Driscoll and Leoni sat on a nearby bench, both of them with piles of books from the library next to them. Their shadows stretched out across the garden. Kairoth had given them back, much to Leoni’s and Driscoll’s surprise—and happiness. A show of faith, he’d said. So they trusted we were all on the same side. They were starting to come around on their opinion of him.
Especially after I told them everything Kairoth had revealed to me. They’d begun researching more about the weapons, but it was futile. So far, they hadn’t found a single thing that might help us.
Kairoth had been busy, and I hadn’t seen him as often as I would have liked. Shortly after our night—and day—together, he’d left again, telling me it was urgent, that he’d explain everything once he returned. I’d tried to use my star magic to find him but couldn’t. I didn’t know if he’d closed his mind off to me or if it just had to do with the fact that he was a god and could remain invisible to the stars if he wanted to.
He’d left two weeks ago, and he was still gone. I’d promised him Leoni, Driscoll, and I would do everything we could to help, but so much of my energy was focused on getting these sweaters knitted. If I could only free my brothers, break this curse, then I’d have more time. I wished I didn’t have to choose. The possible end of the world or the end of my brothers. But my brothers were fading too quickly.
I’d visited Ryder last night, and he barely spoke, just sat huddled in his dream, not making eye contact. I was worried about them.
“This is so boring.” Driscoll slammed the book he was reading down on the bench. “That’s all we do here. Read, read, read. I miss adventure. I miss danger.”
Leoni shot him a look over the top of her book. “Really? Because last night a shadow popped out in front of you, and you squealed and jumped into my arms.”
He scowled at her. “It surprised me.”
“Uh-huh,” Leoni said. “You want to know what I think?”
I grabbed a stalk, cutting it loose and plopping it in my basket.
“Not really, no,” Driscoll said.
“I think,” Leoni said, ignoring him, “that you’re going to complain no matter where we are or what we’re doing.”
Driscoll scoffed. “Not true.”
I gave him a look as I grabbed another stalk, and he threw up his hands. “I’m just going stir crazy. Aren’t you two? We’ve been stuck here for nearly two months now, and nothing is happening.”
Leoni flipped a page of her book, finishing whatever she was reading before setting it facedown next to her. “Bellamy is trying to break a curse trapping her brothers as swans. Kairoth is trying to acquire seven powerful weapons to keep the gods from being freed and killing us all. And we’re helping him. And that’s boring to you?”
He made a face at her. “Well, when you put it like that...”
She grabbed another thick book and thwacked it into his chest. He begrudgingly took it and flipped it open, muttering something that sounded like “pain in my ass” under his breath.
My basket was now full, and I needed a break from the harvesting.
Leoni straightened, noticing my swelling hands. “Let’s get you some salve.”
“I’ll do it!” Driscoll jumped up.
Leoni tapped the jar sitting next to her. “I already have some here. Get back to reading.”
Driscoll dropped back down, shoulders slumping.
She patted the spot next to her on the bench. I stood and picked my way across the tangles of weeds and bushes, hands throbbing as I walked toward them and squeezed myself in between.
“You know the worst part about being here?” Driscoll asked, and Leoni groaned.
“Can you just stop? You’re being so grumpy lately.”
“The worst part,” Driscoll forged on, “is that there’s no good gossip. There is literally nothing happening in this castle. I mean, I kind of think Wesley has a thing for Goji. Or maybe Jerome does. But Goji is definitely not interested in either of them, so that’s not even good gossip. Can someone just do something interesting around here?”
I thought of the way Kairoth had used his shadows on me, how I’d wrapped my mouth around him just a few weeks ago.
“Wait a minute.” Driscoll’s tone changed, and I looked away from my hands, where Leoni was spreading salve, and up toward Driscoll’s frowning face. “Why did your cheeks go all pink just now?”
He pointed a finger at me, and I snapped my teeth at it. He yelped and withdrew it, and I gave him a satisfactory smile.
“You can’t hide from me.” He wagged his finger. “I can sense these things.”
That was ridiculous. Leoni continued to massage the salve over my wounds, and I winced at the pressure. It would take about ten to fifteen minutes, but once the salve started taking effect, it numbed my pain. Some herb Goji had added to it that I was incredibly grateful for.
Driscoll sighed heavily. “You’re confused. I get it. Leoni, explain.”
Leoni grabbed some cloth and wrapped it around my hand, leaving my fingers still free so I could sign.
“I’m sorry for the words that are about to come out of my mouth,” she said, sighing. “But Driscoll believes he has some kind of magical sense where he knows if people have had sex.”
Heat flooded my cheeks, and Driscoll gasped. Leoni’s mouth dropped open.
“Bloody earth. You and Kairoth had sex? And you didn’t tell me?” he hissed.
Leoni finished tying the bandage on my other hand. “We didn’t have sex,” I signed, my face on fire.
“Uh, your expression tells a different story. A satisfied story.” He shut his book. “Spill.”
I hesitated, but truthfully, it had been hard having no one to talk to about any of this. Kairoth had been gone, so it wasn’t like I could work through my feelings with him. I certainly couldn’t tell my brothers.
“He used his shadows on me,” I finally admitted.
Driscoll squeaked, eyes going wide as his hand floated over his mouth.
Leoni leaned over and waved a hand in front of his face. “I think you broke him,” she said.
Driscoll’s hand curled into a fist. “I’m going to need you to break down what you said into very specific details.”
“She is not giving us details.” Leoni shook her head, then paused. “But I do kind of want to know what it means that he used his shadows on you.”
I couldn’t believe I was actually talking about this. I especially couldn’t believe that I actually wanted to. “Instead of his hands slipping down between my legs, it was his shadows.”
Driscoll squeaked again. “I knew he was a shadow daddy,” he said. “I could just tell.”
“What is a shadow daddy again?” Leoni asked.
He waved his hand. “Something I just made up that sounds really sexy.” He pinned his gaze on me. “Was it good?”
I looked away.
“Oh, that means it was really good.” Driscoll leaned forward. “Kairoth has been gone for two weeks. That means you’ve been holding out on us for a long time.” He straightened. “I’m disappointed in you.”
“Will you leave her alone?” Leoni reached over me and swatted him. “You need your wolf man back so you can focus on yourself again and not everyone else.”
Driscoll scoffed. “He’s not my wolf man. We’ve been over this.”
“Right because you have commitment issues.” Leoni grabbed a spare cloth and wiped the remaining salve off her hands.
“Excuse you. We are talking about Bellamy and her shadow daddy right now. Do you love him?” Driscoll asked.
I reeled back. “No,” I signed quickly. “I like him. He makes me feel good, and he makes me feel... less alone. But love? That’s ridiculous. I’ve only known him a few months.”
“Oh, that’s nothing,” Driscoll said. “We know some couples who have fallen in love in a few weeks.”
“Still a no,” I signed.
“You had sexual relations with an actual god.” Driscoll sat back, stunned. “It’s unreal. I mean, what if he asked you to marry him or something? Do gods get married?”
“Driscoll, that’s none of your business,” Leoni said.
“Things are too complicated.” His questions were frazzling my nerves. I hadn’t thought about any of this. “I have to save my brothers. Kairoth has to save the world. We don’t have time for a relationship or falling in love.”
Besides, I didn’t want to fall in love, not when love had been the cause of so much heartache in my life. Love was why I was here, doing this. I couldn’t lose someone else I loved.
“I think it’s the perfect time to fall in love.” Driscoll shrugged. “Everyone deserves love, even if it’s not the right time or things are complicated or the world is ending. No time is ever perfect.”
Leoni had picked up a book and was reading again. “Oh look, pot calling kettle black.”
“I’m not talking about me and Aron.” He crossed his arms, and I hid a smile behind my hand.
I couldn’t help it. These two were some of the most ridiculous people I’d ever met, and that was saying a lot since I’d literally grown up in a place like the Wilds.
The throbbing had dulled to an ache in my hands. The salve was finally taking effect.
“I’m just saying,” Driscoll said. “If you have an opportunity for love, you should let it in.” Leoni broke out in a coughing fit, and Driscoll stood. “I’m not talking about me!” He shook his head. “You know, you’ve totally ruined this gossip session, and it’s possibly the biggest piece of gossip I’ve had in months. So congratulations.”
With that, he stalked off toward the castle.
“Is he going to be okay?” I signed.
“He’ll be fine,” Leoni said. “He likes Aron, but he’s afraid to admit it. He’ll get there.” She tilted her head. “I think.” She studied me. “You’ll get there too.” Then she went back to reading her book like she hadn’t just said that.
I’d never thought Driscoll and I had any similarities, but after talking with him and Leoni, I was starting to think we had more in common than I realized.