Beaten (House of the Mafia #2)

Chapter 1

Chapter One

Katya

My room is my comfort place. It’s like a nice warm hug after a cold day. From the soft calming pink color to the stuffed animals on my bed, it’s a space that looks more for a child than a grown woman. And I am a grown woman now.

At twenty-one, I’ve lived almost my whole life in this room. It’s a place I don’t like to leave.

I turn on my record player and sit in the chair beside it – it’s a large room that my older brother, Dimitri Ivanov, designed for me – and close my eyes, letting the music wash over me, comforting me. I had a rough day today.

My sister-in-law, Sofiya, wanted me to come outside with her to garden but I just couldn’t. I’ve done it once before with her since she and my brother got married but it ended up being too much for me and I ran back into my room where I know it’s safe.

I haven’t left my room in over a week since I first went outside in over twelve years. I ended up having a panic attack. Dimitri had to help me back inside my room and I’ve stayed in here ever since.

Sofiya has come to talk to me every day after that, urging me to leave my room, but I’ve been shutting her out. My room is a place I know. It’s all I’ve ever known.

I don’t want to leave it.

An image flashes in my mind. Blood. Blood everywhere. The sight of a woman’s legs covered in red. The disgusting smell of the copper.

A knife inside my mother’s stomach… from where my father stabbed her with it. I was just eight years old at the time. Mom and I were in my room, playing with my dolls together. She had the kindest smile.

Until my father burst into the room and her smile disappeared and was replaced with horrifying screams as he stabbed her… over and over and over again. And all I could do was sit there and watch it happen. I remember screaming but my father wasn’t listening. He was intent on killing her.

When he was finished, he set his eyes onto me and they had narrowed. I remember him taking one step towards me until Dimitri, who was eighteen at the time, burst into the room, and pulled him away from me.

After that, my father ended up dying of a ‘heart attack’ but both me and Dimitri know the truth. He died because my brother killed him.

I fell into a bad state after that. I couldn’t handle being inside any large space. I needed something to hold me. Comfort me. I struggled for a few years until Dimitri ended up buying this house and he made me this room.

My hidden room.

The only way to access it is through a bookshelf in the master bedroom. I’m not a prisoner in here. I can leave whenever I want to but I never want to. Life is all too much. Too dangerous. Too terrifying. I never want to relive any horrible moment again like I did when I was a child.

So, that’s why I like it in here, where I can listen to music and be calmed down. Where I can be safe in the comforts of my hidden room. Where no one can get to me ever again.

My father had hated having me. I was a surprise baby, ten years younger than my older brother.

He made sure to let me know how much he hated me.

So I never understood why he killed my mother over it.

Maybe because she fought hard to keep me.

I’m not sure. I just know that he killed her and he would have killed me if it weren’t for Dimitri.

A knock on my door makes me jump. “Yes?”

“It’s Dimitri.” My brother’s warm voice brings me comfort, almost as much as my room does. But only almost. Nothing can keep me safe like my hidden room can.

“Come in,” I say, turning my music down.

Dimitri enters the room, looking large in the space.

He’s always been a large man. Tall and muscular.

Handsome, I guess, if he weren’t my brother that is.

We look a lot alike. Dark hair, blue eyes, intense features that make people notice you.

Or at least, I assume so. No one has ever noticed me before since I’m always in my room.

But I know people notice Dimitri. I have access to the internet in my room and I’ve read things about him online.

How people think he’s handsome and a force to be reckoned with.

As a Bratva member, he’s fairly famous in the world of crime.

I’m always worried about the day the police will come for him but that day hasn’t happened yet.

Dimitri tends to keep his hands clean and have others do his dirty work for him.

That’s fine by me. I don’t care about the dark things my brother has to do.

As long as he keeps me safe and I get to stay in my room.

“Katya,” he says, sitting down on the other chair next to mine.

It’s where we usually talk whenever he comes to visit me.

It’s most days but some days he’ll send our housekeeper, Ann, in his place.

I don’t like Ann as much. She’s too cold and efficient whereas Dimitri will take the time to talk to me.

Sofiya does too but she has a bad habit of always trying to get me to leave my room when I don’t want to whereas Dimitri lets me stay in here.

“Yes?”

“How are you doing?” he asks.

“You want to know about my panic attack the other day.”

“How did you know?”

I give him a pointed look. “You’re my brother. I know you. So ask away.”

“I thought you wanted to leave your room. You seemed excited to spend time with Sofiya outside, gardening.”

“I thought it would be fun,” I admit. “Finally get some fresh air.” I hadn’t been outside in years.

There are no windows in my hidden room – vents yes, but windows no – so I hadn’t smelled the outside air in such a long time.

It was a wonderful smell when I finally went outside but then it all became too much.

My panic had hit me so unexpectedly I hadn’t know how to handle it so Dimitri picked me up and carried me back into my room and I haven’t left it again in over a week.

“And?” he urges me to continue.

“But then my anxiety hit me. I don’t know why. It just did.”

“You were in the garden with Sofiya, planting seeds. What about that was anxiety inducing?”

“I don’t know,” I snap. He raises an eyebrow and I force myself to calm my temper down.

Sometimes I get frustrated – frustrated from my anxiety, from the pitying looks Dimitri will give me, from the desire to be an adult but also terrified of leaving my room.

It all gets confusing, these emotions inside of me.

I do want more out of life than just my room but I can never seem to leave it.

“Katya,” he says gently.

“Fine. I don’t know why I panicked the way I did.

Just that I did. It all hit me. The outside air.

Spending time with Sofiya. I just couldn’t take it and my anxiety hit me.

I don’t like to leave my room, Dimitri, and I’m getting tired of you and Sofiya trying to urge me out of here.

This room is where I belong. I want to stay in it. ”

He sighs. “I understand. And you know I’ll always protect you. So if you want to stay in this room forever, I will to see that you’re always kept safe. But –,”

“No buts.”

“Yes. I’ve spoken with Sofiya about it. We think what’s best for you is to get out more. The more you do it, the easier it will become and hopefully in time, you won’t have a panic attack like you did.”

“Why can’t I just stay in here?” I mumble, sinking lower into my seat.

My eyes find the stuffed animals on my bed.

How young they look. I’m a woman now and yet, my room doesn’t reflect that fact.

Despite knowing this, I can never seem to get rid of them.

My stuffed animals are a form of safety just as much as my room is.

“You can. But it’s been over a week now and you still refuse to leave your room. I’m just encouraging you to get back out again. Come downstairs and have dinner with me and Sofiya. That’s all. You can handle that, can’t you?”

A dinner with Dimitri and Sofiya wouldn’t be a bad thing. It would still be inside the house, keeping me safe. Dimitri will be there and Sofiya’s presence, while annoying at times, is starting to be a comfort to me as well.

“Why didn’t Sofiya come talk to me?” I ask. “She’s always been more pushy about me leaving my room than you’ve been,”

“Because you’re my sister. It’s my job to take care of you and I’m worried I haven’t been doing a good job of it. So come have dinner with us. Please.”

I think on it for a long moment. My eyes find my stuffed animals again and the sight of them fills me with shame. I am an adult woman, not a little girl.

With a nod, I tell Dimitri that I’ll come down for dinner.

The dining room is a thing of beauty – a long dark table, soft green walls mixed with white and black. My brother has good taste. The entire house feels so sophisticated which is in stark contrast to my bedroom, where it feels like a gaudy princess paradise instead of a young woman’s room.

Sofiya stands up from the table when I enter.

“Katya.” She doesn’t try to hug me for which I’m grateful.

Being outside my room and hugging people is too much to handle.

Her smile is warm. My sister-in-law is effortlessly pretty.

Soft brown hair and kind eyes and a bohemian style way of dressing that gives her a comforting presence.

My style of clothing is much more youthful feeling.

Summer dresses or loungewear, like sweat pants and t-shirts.

I wish I could find my own style instead of Dimitri finding it for me.

Since I never left my room growing up, he would buy my clothes for me and I just accepted it.

But now seeing Sofiya, I do want to choose clothes for myself.

Discover who I am as a woman instead of a little girl.

Tonight, I’m in a simple blue dress that flares out around my legs. Very youthful. Very young.

“Sofiya,” I say tentatively.

She motions to the seat across from her and I take it. Dimitri sits at the head of the table.

“It’s nice to have a dinner with all of us together,” Dimitri comments.